Don Rickles Dead At 90

Don Rickles, seen accepting the Johnny Carson Award at the 2012 Comedy Awards, has died at the age of 90. 
(Charles Sykes/Associated Press)

from CBC.ca

U.S. comedian Don Rickles, the performance curmudgeon known for his abrasive mocking and more recently as the voice of Mr. Potato Head in the Toy Story movies, has died at the age of 90.

Rickles died Thursday morning from kidney failure at his Los Angeles home, according to his longtime publicist Paul Shefrin.

Though people close to him praised him as a good guy and a devoted family man, Rickles gained fame for an acerbic, insult-filled brand of humour that spared no one — from regular Joes to U.S. presidents to the famously hot-tempered Frank Sinatra, who became one of his champions and a close friend.

Born in New York, Rickles served in the U.S. Navy during the Second World War and later graduated from the American Academy of Dramatic Arts.

He occasionally appeared in films over the years, including The Rat Race with Tony Curtis, Pajama Party and Beach Blanket Bingo with Annette Funicello, Kelly's Heroes with Clint Eastwood and films in the Toy Story franchise.

He was also a regular face on TV, guest starring on a wide range of shows, from The Twilight Zone to The Dick Van Dyke Show to Laugh-In to Hot in Cleveland.

Rickles toiled away on the conventional stand-up scene, but truly broke through on the nightclub circuit when he honed his act toward takedowns — comedic verbal assaults of stars, public figures, Las Vegas crowds and TV audience members.

Survivors include his wife, Barbara Sklar, his daughter Mindy and grandchildren. A private funeral is being arranged.

Hee-Haws

1. Birds of a feather flock together, and then crap on your car.

2. There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.

3. When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbour's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.

4. If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

5. Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.

6. A penny saved...is a government oversight.

7. The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

8. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.

9. The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

10. He who hesitates is probably right.

11. If you think there is good in everybody you haven't met everybody.

12. If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

13. The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.

14. The mind is like a parachute; it works much better when it's open.

15. The only difference between a rut and a grave...is the depth!

Saskatchewan Government Announces Cutbacks:

Affects Cities of: Regina and Saskatoon. Towns like Dog River and Woolerton, SK, may benefit.

As part of the cutbacks for 2008/2009, the snow equipment budget had to be realigned. Here is a picture of our new model:

No one in the big cities were available for comment, so The Wizard left for Dog River to get an exclusive comment from cornerstone resident and big business owner, Brent Leroy.

Brent Leroy, owner of Dog River's Corner Gas, (Gas and Convenience Store), reacts to the news:

"Yeah! I just read that in 'The Howler', eh?. It's just great! Before last year when we achieved official 'Town Status', (A whole bunch of Hollywood freaks came here to do some sort of nature film -- can you believe it? Here in Dog River, eh?! They just said to just keep on doing what we normally do, talk as if they weren't there. And they even paid us as 'extras'! I was able to buy a few more chili cheese dogs than before. That $10 sure came in handy! Who da thunk that they would be so intested in filming grass and such?)."

"Anyways, we did not even have a budget. Now we have a budget! Now Hank won't have to use his dirty hoe to clean up the street and sidewalk in Dog River. Myrtle will be so happy. You know last year she slipped on the sidewalk and broke her hip. (If that happened this year there'd be hell to pay. -oh. Can I say that? You know between you and me, I think she gets hooked on the painkillers, eh?.)"

"Anyways, Woolerton [spits], doesn't need one of those new plows. They only have one street! Just make sure that they don't add some kind of food tax and force a cut in Lacey's budget at The Ruby... I need my Chili-Cheese Dogs!"

"Above is me and Lacey celebrating with our first checks from the movie fella. Oh, and we rent movies."

The Sponge

via GIPHY

My puns...

Your Mother...

Miss you Mom

"Shaka, when the walls fell."

Trust is built like a tower of stones...

Disturbed "The Sound of Silence" - Conan

Twenty Toes

Amazing dexterity!

You will cry...

Amazing Facts about the Mediterranean Wovel

Scully / Fork and Knife

That was Zen, but Zis is now...

There are times when one feels close to drowning in the mystery of life itself.

--JOYCE CAROL OATES



Above all, don't lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love.

--writer Fyodor Dostoyevsky



If in the deepest place within you, you want and desire Truth above all else, even though you go astray in a thousand different ways, you will find yourself somehow, again and again, being brought back to what is True.

And if you do not want and desire Truth above all else, well, you already know what that leads to.

--ADYASHANTI



If I'm an ass, I should say so. If I don't, somebody else will. If I say it first, that disarms them.

--writer Charles Bukowski



Sitting still [is] a way of falling in love with the world and everything in it.

--PICO IYER



A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.

--writer Douglas Adams

Kentucky Fried Chicken: Menu Choices & Calories

To my Canadian readers: Not all the options are avaible in Canada

Justin Sullivan/ Getty Images News/ Getty Images

By Malia Frey, Verywell.com

Most healthy eaters consider chicken to be a diet-friendly food. But the menu at Kentucky Fried Chicken can challenge even the most dedicated dieter. Many KFC menu items are loaded with fat and calories—including the chicken. But it is possible to eat at KFC when you're trying to lose weight and even to make healthy choices on the KFC menu.

Analyzing the Kentucky Fried Chicken Menu

The KFC menu is built around items that are fried.

So even though chicken is usually a good source of lean protein, most of the chicken items on this menu are going to less healthy. In addition, the side dishes—primarily comfort foods like mashed potatoes, corn bread and macaroni and cheese will increase your fat and calorie intake while providing very little nutritional value.

However, there are a few grilled selections on the Kentucky Fried Chicken menu that are better for your health. For example the Grilled Chicken Breast provides just 180 calories and 6 grams of total fat. You'll also get 31 grams of metabolism-boosting protein when you choose this food.

Most Popular KFC Food
Original Recipe and Extra Crispy Chicken are very popular choices at KFC. But the Original Recipe Chicken Breast is loaded with fat and sodium (see label). If you select the Extra Crispy Chicken Breast, you'll consume 390 calories, 23 grams of fat and 870 milligrams of sodium.

Extra Crispy Tenders are also a menu favorite at KFC.

A single order provides 140 calories, 7 grams of fat 10 grams of protein and 310 milligrams of sodium. And wings are another popular food. An order of KFC Chicken Hot Wings provides 70 calories, 4 grams of fat, 4 grams of protein and 160 milligrams of sodium. But a serving size is just 22 grams, which is very small. You are likely to consume several servings of this food.

--more at verywell.com

WHAT IS A GRANDPARENT?

(taken from papers written by a class of 8-year-olds)

Grandparents are a lady and a man who have no little children of her own. They like other people's.

A grandfather is a man grandmother.

Grandparents don't have to do anything except be there when we come to see them. They are so old they shouldn't play hard or run. It is good if they drive us to the store and have lots of quarters for us.

When they take us for walks, they slow down past things like pretty leaves and caterpillars.

They show us and talk to us about the color of the flowers and also Why we shouldn't step on "cracks."

They don't say, "Hurry up."

Usually grandmothers are fat, but not too fat to tie your shoes.

They wear glasses and funny underwear.

They can take their teeth and gums out.

Grandparents don't have to be smart.

They have to answer questions like "why isn't God married?" and "How come dogs chase cats?".

When they read to us, they don't skip. They don't mind if we ask for the same story over again.

Everybody should try to have a grandmother, especially if you don't have television, because they are the only grown ups who like to spend time with us.

They know we should have snack-time before bedtime and they say prayers with us every time, and kiss us even when we've acted bad.

A 6 YEAR OLD WAS ASKED WHERE HIS GRANDMA LIVED. ''OH,'' HE SAID, ''SHE LIVES AT THE AIRPORT, AND WHEN WE WANT HER WE JUST GO GET HER. THEN WHEN WE'RE DONE HAVING HER VISIT, WE TAKE HER BACK TO THE AIRPORT.''

Send this to other grandparents or friends who would appreciate it. It will make their day!

Baby T's (What Kind of Parents?)

Giggles, Guffaws and Groaners

Grammatically Correct Animal
The manager of a large city zoo was drafting a letter to order a pair of animals. He sat at his computer and typed the following sentence: "I would like to place an order for two mongooses, to be delivered at your earliest convenience."

He stared at the screen, focusing on that odd word "mongooses." Then he deleted the word and added another, so that the sentence now read: "I would like to place an order for two mongeese, to be delivered at your earliest convenience."

Again he stared at the screen, this time focusing on the new word, which seemed just as odd as the original one. Finally, he deleted the whole sentence and started all over. "Everyone knows no fully stocked zoo should be without a mongoose," he typed. "Please send us two of them."

The Price of Snoring
A woman was having a medical problem - her husband snoring. She called the doctor one morning, and asked him if there was anything he could do to relieve her "suffering".

"Well, there is one operation I can perform that will cure your husband, but it is really rather expensive. It will cost $1000 down, and then payments of $450 for 24 months, plus payments for extras."

"Wow!" the woman exclaimed, "sounds like leasing a new sports car!"

"Hmmm," the doctor murmured, "too obvious, huh?"

Achievements of A Modern Man

A motivational speaker, while addressing his audience, talked about the various achievements man has made today.

He said, "Today, man has built a ship to cross an ocean, fastest trains to travel across cities, and built planes to fly high in the skies like a bird..."

A gentleman from the audience interrupted, "Any yet, a man still cannot sit on a barbed wire like a bird does!"

When the Gas Men Run

Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood. They parked their truck at the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end.

At the last house a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they checked her gas meter. Finishing the meter check, the senior supervisor challenged his younger coworker to a foot race down the alley back to the truck to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger one.

As they came running up to the truck, they realized the lady from that last house was huffing and puffing right behind them. They stopped and asked her what was wrong.

Gasping for breath, she replied, "When I see two gas men running as hard as you two were, I figured I'd better run too!"


Thank You, UPS

After my wife landed a coveted job offer from UPS, we went out of town to celebrate.

While on our trip, she was contacted by the company's Human Resources department with an urgent request to complete and send back her tax forms.

"No problem," she said. "I'll FedEx them right over."

No Juicing For You
A boy was bagging groceries at a supermarket. One day the store installed a machine for squeezing fresh orange juice.

Intrigued, the young man asked if he could be allowed to work the machine, but his request was denied.

Said the store manager, "Sorry, kid, but baggers can't be juicers."

Baby, Learning to Talk
Dad: "Say daddy!"
Baby: "Mommy!"

Dad: "Come on, say daddy!"
Baby: "Mommy!"

Dad: "Darn it, say daddy!"
Baby: "Darn it, Mommy!"

[Mom comes home and joins the conversation.]
Mom: "Honey, I'm home!"
Baby: "Darn it!"

Mom: "Who taught you that?"
Baby: "Daddy!"
Dad: ...

Imaginary Friend
I am a first-grade teacher and a new empty nester. One night I was trying out an art project: making a person with simple materials.

I took a coat hanger, attached a paper-plate face, put a shirt on the hanger and stuffed it. Then I sat it on the couch to see how it looked.

Later that evening my son walked in the door, home for a surprise visit. Taking one look at my coat-hanger friend sitting on the couch, he said, "Mom, it’s not that bad, is it?"

Smokey Dinner Call

My cooking has always been the target of family jokes. One evening, as I prepared dinner a bit too quickly, the kitchen filled with smoke and the smoke detector went off. Although both of my children had received fire-safety training at school, they did not respond to the alarm.

Annoyed, I stormed through the house in search of them. I found them in the bathroom, washing their hands. Over the loud buzzing of the smoke alarm, I asked them to identify the sound.

"It’s the smoke detector," they replied in unison.

"Do you know what that sound means?" I demanded.

"Sure," my oldest replied. "Dinner’s ready."

Musical Correctness
At a church in Mississippi, the pastor announced that their prison choir would be singing the following evening. I wasn't aware there was a prison in the vicinity, so I looked forward to hearing them.

The next evening, I was puzzled when members of the church approached the stage. Then the pastor introduced them.

"This is our prison choir," he said, "they're behind a few bars and always looking for the key."

Who Owns the Monkey?
A man walks into a posh restaurant and orders his meal. While he takes the first bite and is looking around, a monkey swings down and steals his plate from him before he is able to stop it.

The man asks the waiter, "Excuse me sir, who owns the monkey?"

The waiter replies, "It belongs to the piano player."

The man walks over to the piano player and says, "Do you know your monkey stole my food?"

The pianist responds, "No, but if you hum it, I'll play it."

I'm Still Ahead
My wife and I were comparing notes the other day. "I have a higher IQ, did better on my SAT's, and make more money than you," she pointed out.

"Yeah, but when you step back and look at the big picture, I’m still ahead," I said.

She looked mystified. "How do you figure?"

"I married better," I replied.

An April Day

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

When the warm sun, that brings
Seed-time and harvest, has returned again,
'T is sweet to visit the still wood, where springs
The first flower of the plain.

I love the season well,
When forest glades are teeming with bright forms,
Nor dark and many-folded clouds foretell
The coming-on of storms.

From the earth's loosened mould
The sapling draws its sustenance, and thrives;
Though stricken to the heart with winter's cold,
The drooping tree revives.

The softly-warbled song
Comes from the pleasant woods, and colored wings
Glance quick in the bright sun, that moves along
The forest openings.

When the bright sunset fills
The silver woods with light, the green slope throws
Its shadows in the hollows of the hills,
And wide the upland glows.

And when the eve is born,
In the blue lake the sky, o'er-reaching far,
Is hollowed out and the moon dips her horn,
And twinkles many a star.

Inverted in the tide
Stand the gray rocks, and trembling shadows throw,
And the fair trees look over, side by side,
And see themselves below.

Sweet April! many a thought
Is wedded unto thee, as hearts are wed;
Nor shall they fail, till, to its autumn brought,
Life's golden fruit is shed.

-- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Gilbert Baker, LGBT rainbow flag creator, dies aged 65

from BBC News

Gilbert Baker, an artist based in San Francisco who created the rainbow flag as a symbol for the gay community, has died aged 65.

The San Francisco Chronicle said Baker died in his sleep at his home in New York on Thursday night.

He initially designed an eight-colour flag in 1978 for the city's gay freedom day, the precursor to the modern pride parade.

The rainbow flag has been raised in central San Francisco to honour him.

It is flying near Harvey Milk Plaza, named after America's first openly gay politician, a close friend of Baker before his assassination in 1978.

Baker's close friend Cleve Jones said on Twitter: "My dearest friend in the world is gone. Gilbert Baker gave the world the Rainbow Flag; he gave me forty years of love and friendship."

Screenwriter Dustin Lance Black, who wrote the screenplay for Milk, the biopic of the politician, tweeted: "Rainbows weep. Our world is far less colourful without you, my love. Gilbert Baker gave us the rainbow flag to unite us. Unite again."

California State Senator Scott Weiner said Baker's work had "helped define the modern LGBT movement".

"Rest in power, Gilbert," he said.

'A people, a tribe'

According to his website, Baker was born in Kansas in 1951 and served in the US army from 1970 to 1972, which stationed him in San Francisco in the early days of the gay liberation movement.

He was honourably discharged, taught himself to sew and began a flag-making career which would include creating designs and displays for several world leaders including the presidents of France, Venezuela and the Philippines.

Baker's original flag had eight colours, each representing a different aspect of humanity:

• Pink - sexuality
• Red - life
• Orange - healing
• Yellow- sunlight
• Green - nature
• Turquoise - art
• Indigo - harmony
• Violet - human spirit

Read more: The rise of the rainbow flag

--More at BBC.com

Following is a post from 'OZ' - The 'Other' Side of the Rainbow archives:

In 1978, Gilbert Baker of San Francisco designed and made a flag with six stripes representing the six colours of the rainbow as a symbol of gay and lesbian community pride. Slowly the flag took hold, offering a colourful and optimistic alternative to the more common pink triangle symbol. Today it is recognized by the International Congress of Flag Makers, and is flown in lesbian and gay pride marches worldwide. In 1989, the rainbow flag received nationwide attention after John Stout successfully sued his landlords in West Hollywood, when they prohibited him from displaying the flag from his apartment balcony. Meanwhile, Baker is still in San Francisco, and still making more flags.

Colour has long played an important role in our community's expression of pride. In Victorian England, for example, the colour green was associated with homosexuality. The colour purple (or, more accurately, lavender) became popularized as a symbol for pride in the late 1960s - a frequent post-Stonewall catchword for the gay community was "Purple Power". And, of course, there's the pink triangle. Although it was first used in Nazi Germany to identify gay males in concentration camps, the pink triangle only received widespread use as a gay pop icon in the early 1980s. But the most colourful of our symbols is the Rainbow Flag, and its rainbow of colours - red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple - represents the diversity of our community.

The first Rainbow Flag was designed in 1978 by Gilbert Baker, a San Francisco artist, who created the flag in response to a local activist's call for the need of a community symbol. (This was before the pink triangle was popularly used as a symbol of pride.) Using the five-striped "Flag of the Race" as his inspiration, Baker designed a flag with eight stripes: pink, red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet. According to Baker, those colours represented, respectively: sexuality, life, healing, sun, nature, art (or magic), harmony (or serenity), and spirit. Baker dyed and sewed the material for the first flag himself - in the true spirit of Betsy Ross.

Baker soon approached San Francisco's Paramount Flag Company about mass producing and selling his "gay flag". Unfortunately, Baker had hand-dyed all the colours, and since the colour "hot pink" was not commercially available, mass production of his eight-striped version became impossible. The flag was thus reduced to seven stripes.

In November 1978, San Francisco's gay community was stunned when the city's first openly gay supervisor, Harvey Milk, was assassinated, Wishing to demonstrate the gay community's strength and solidarity in the aftermath of this tragedy, the 1979 Pride Parade Committee decided to use Baker's flag. The committee eliminated the indigo stripe so they could divide the colours evenly along the parade route - three colours on one side of the street and three on the other. Soon the six colors were incorporated into a six-striped version that became popularized and that, today, is recognized by the International Congress of Flag Makers.

In San Francisco, the Rainbow Flag is everywhere: it can be seen hanging from apartment windows throughout the city (most notably in the Castro district), local bars frequently display the flag, and Rainbow Flag banners are hung from lampposts on Market Street (San Francisco's main avenue) throughout Pride Month. Visiting the city, one can not help but feel a tremendous sense of pride at seeing this powerful symbol displayed so prominently.

Although the Rainbow Flag was initially used as a symbol of pride only in San Francisco, it has received increased visibility in recent years. Today, it is a frequent sight in a number of other cities as well - New York, West Hollywood, and Amsterdam, among them. Even in the Twin Cities, the flag seems to be gaining in popularity. Indeed, the Rainbow Flag reminds us that ours is a diverse community - composed of people with a variety of individual tastes of which we should all be proud.

This is The Wizard of 'OZ's Pride flag. I purchased it when I came out of the closet.
I have proudly carried it for celebrations, demonstrations and sadly, memorials.
It hangs in my apartment as a reminder of the costs my forebearers paid for my freedom to be me.

So now you know!