*Short Observations*

I dialed a number and got the following recording:



"I am not available right now, but

Thank you for caring enough to call.

 I am making some changes in my life.

Please leave a message after the

Beep. If I do not return your call,

You are one of the changes."




Aspire to inspire before you expire.

 





( I LOVE THIS ONE! )

My wife and I had words,

But I didn't get to use mine.


Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses.







The irony of life is that, by the time

You're old enough to know your way around,

You're not going anywhere.









God made man before woman so as to give him time

To think of an answer for her first question.







I was always taught to respect my elders,

But it keeps getting harder to find one.






Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.

He shoots his friend and kills him.

Wife says "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends!"


 





What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?

Stress is when wife is pregnant,

Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant,

And Panic is when both are pregnant.


 






Teacher: Do you know the importance of a period?



Kid: Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted,

Dad got a heart attack & our driver ran away.


 





A young boy asks his Dad, "What is the difference between confident
 and confidential?"



Dad says, "You are my son, I'm confident about that.

Your friend over there, is also my son, that's confidential."




One observer's take on Washington State's new laws....

It all makes sense now...

Washington State legalized both gay marriage and marijuana on the same day; It makes perfect Biblical sense !  
Leviticus 20:13 says, "A man who lays with another man should be stoned.
I guess our interpretation has been wrong all these years....

Bullying - a neat approach to the issue

A unique approach, this teacher has

New Dildo Discovered!

Click here.


heehee

The Bell

For my Christian readers....

THE BELL
I KNOW WHO I AM
I am God's child (John 1:12)
I am Christ's friend (John 15:15)
I am united with the Lord(1 Cor. 6:17)
I am bought with a price(1 Cor. 6:19-20)
I am a saint (set apart for God). (Eph. 1:1)
I am a personal witness of Christ (Acts 1:8)
I am the salt &light of the earth (Matt.5:13-14)
I am a member of the body of Christ(1 Cor 12:27)
I am free forever from condemnation (Rom.8: 1-2)
I am a citizen of Heaven. I am significant (Phil.3:20)
I am free from any charge against me (Rom. 8:31-34)
I am a minister of reconciliation for God(2 Cor.5:17-21)
I have access to God through the Holy Spirit (Eph. 2:18)
I am seated with Christ in the heavenly realms (Eph. 2:6)
I cannot be separated from the love of God(Rom.8:35-39)
I am established, anointed, sealed by God (2 Cor.1:21-22)
I am assured all things work together for good (Rom. 8: 28)
I have been chosen and appointed to bear fruit (John 15:16)
I may approach God with freedom and confidence (Eph. 3: 12)
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Phil. 4:13)
I am the branch of the true vine, a channel of His life (John 15: 1-5)
I am God's temple (1 Cor. 3: 16). I am complete in Christ (Col. 2: 10)
I am hidden with Christ in God (Col. 3:3). I have been justified (Romans 5:1)
I am God's co-worker
(1 Cor. 3:9; 2 Cor 6:1).
I am God's workmanship(Eph. 2:10)
I am confident that the good works
God has begun in me will be perfected
(Phil. 1: 5)I have been redeemed and
forgiven (Col. 1:14). I have been
adopted as God's child(Eph 1:5)
I belong to God Do you know
who you are!?

In two days tomorrow will be yesterday

Today is no special day and I have no particular reason for posting this... I have no news to tell you.... nor any problems to discuss with you.... or gossip to tell you... It's only one of those happy moments... when I thought of life... and I would like to share these thoughts with you...


MANY SMILES BEGIN BECAUSE OF ANOTHER SMILE... Keep scrolling, and if you don't smile, then I believe you must be dead!!!

Always have good self esteem...

Take care of your friends, especially those dearest to you...

Take care of your body...

But most of all find time to relax...

Big Hug from The Wizard of 'OZ'...

To The World You Might Be One Person; But To One Person You Might Be the World.

Toothpick Horse Mural

Click on the image to display detailed image. You may have to zoom in when it loads in the new window.

Interesting Facts That Are Useless

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go." 

-- Oscar Wilde

*Thanks, Gary

Jesse's Story

A DREAMER AND HIS DREAM

Let me tell you, Jesse hated this job. And you would too, I imagine, if you had to do it. Jesse was a chicken plucker. That's right.

He stood on a line in a chicken factory and spent his days Pulling the feathers off dead chickens so the rest of us wouldn't have to.

It wasn't much of a job. But at the time, Jesse didn't think he was much of a person. His father was a brute of a man. His dad was actually thought to be mentally ill and treated Jesse rough all of his life.

Jesse's older brother wasn't much better. He was always picking on Jesse and beating him up. Yes, Jesse grew up in a very rough home in West Virginia. Life was anything but easy. He thought life didn't hold much hope for him. That's why he was standing in this chicken line, doing a job that darn few people wanted.

In addition to all the rough treatment at home, it seems That Jesse was always sick. Sometimes it was real Physical illness, but way too often it was all in his head.
He was a small child, skinny and meek. That sure didn't help the situation any.

When he started to school, he was the object of every Bully on the playground.

He was a hypochondriac of the first order. For Jesse, tomorrow was not always something to be looked forward to.

But, he had dreams. He wanted to be a ventriloquist. He found books on ventriloquism. He practiced with sock puppets and saved his hard earned dollars until He could get a real ventriloquist dummy.

When he got old enough, he joined the military. Even though many of his hypochondriac symptoms persisted, the military did recognize his talents and put him in the entertainment corps. That was when his world changed. He gained confidence.

He found that he had a talent for making people laugh, and laugh so hard they often had tears in their eyes. Yes, little Jesse had found himself.

You know, folks, the history books are full of people who overcame a handicap to go on and make a success of themselves, but Jesse is one of the few I know of who didn't overcome it.

Instead he used his paranoia to make a million dollars, and become one of the best-loved characters of all time in doing it!

Yes, that little paranoid hypochondriac, who transferred his nervousness into a successful career, still holds the record for the most Emmy's given in a single category.

The wonderful, gifted, talented, and nervous comedian who brought us Barney Fife...

He was Jesse Don Knotts.

NOW YOU KNOW, "THE REST OF THE STORY"

There is a street named for him and his statue in Morgantown, West Virginia, his place of birth.