31 Signs the computer has taken over your life

 

1. Your stationery is more cluttered than Warren Beatty's address book. The letterhead lists a fax number, e-mail addresses for two on-line services, and your Internet address, which spreads across the breadth of the letterhead and continues to the back. In essence, you have conceded that the first page of any letter you write *is* letterhead.

2. You have never sat through an entire movie without having at least one device on your body beep or buzz.

3. You need to fill out a form that must be typewritten, but you can't because there isn't one typewriter in your house -- only computers with laser printers.

4. You think of the gadgets in your office as "friends," but you forget to send your father a birthday card.

5. You disdain people who use low baud rates.

6. When you go into a computer store, you eavesdrop on a salesperson talking with customers -- and you butt in to correct him and spend the next twenty minutes answering the customers' questions, while the salesperson stands by silently, nodding his head.

7. You use the phrase "digital compression" in a conversation without thinking how strange your mouth feels when you say it.

8. You constantly find yourself in groups of people to whom you say the phrase "digital compression." Everyone understands what you mean, and you are not surprised or disappointed that you don't have to explain it.

9. You know Bill Gates' e-mail address, but you have to look up your own social security number.

10. You stop saying "phone number" and replace it with "voice number," since we all know the majority of phone lines in any house are plugged into contraptions that talk to other contraptions.

11. You sign Christmas cards by putting :-) next to your signature.

12. Off the top of your head, you can think of nineteen keystroke symbols that are far more clever than :-)

13. You back up your data every day.

14. Your wife asks you to pick up some minipads for her at the store and you return with a rest for your mouse.

15. You think jokes about being unable to program a VCR are stupid.

16. On vacation, you are reading a computer manual and turning the pages faster than everyone else who is reading John Grisham novels.

17. The thought that CD could refer to investment finance or music rarely enters your mind.

18. You are able to argue persuasively that Ross Perot's phrase "electronic town hall" makes more sense than the term "information superhighway," but you don't because, after all, the man still uses hand-drawn pie charts.

19. You go to computer trade shows and map out your path of the exhibit hall in advance. However, you cannot give someone directions to your house without looking up the street names.

20. You would rather get more dots per inch than miles per gallon.

21. You become upset when a person calls you on the phone to sell you something, but you think it's okay for a computer to call and demand that you start pushing buttons on your telephone to receive more information about the product it is selling.

22. You know without a doubt that disks come in five-and-a-quarter and three-and-a-half inch sizes.

23. Al Gore strikes you as an "intriguing" fellow.

24. You own a set of itty-bitty screwdrivers and you actually know where they are.

25. While contemporaries swap stories about their recent hernia surgeries, you compare mouse-induced index-finger strain with a nine-year-old.

26. You are so knowledgeable about technology that you feel secure enough to say "I don't know" when someone asks you a technology question instead of feeling compelled to make something up.

27. You rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile tires.

28. You have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you own turns bread into charcoal.

29. You have ended friendships because of irreconcilably different opinions about which is better: the track ball or the track pad.

30. You understand all the jokes in this message. If so, my friend, technology has taken over your life. We suggest, for your own good, that you go lie under a tree and write a haiku. And don't use a laptop.

31. You email this message to your friends over the net. You'd never get around to showing it to them in person or reading it to them on the phone. In fact, you have probably never met most of these people face-to-face.

Surfer Dolphins

 

Giddy-up!

 

Quiz Me!!

At the end of this, you are asked a question. Answer it immediately. Don't stop and think about it. Just say the first thing that pops into your mind.

This is kind of spooky!

Do not go to the next calculation before you have finished the previous one. You do not need to write or remember the answers, just do it using your mind. You'll be surprised. Handle each calculation seperately...

How much is . .
15 + 6
3 + 56
89 + 2
12 + 53
75 + 2
25 + 52
63 + 32
I know! Calculations are hard work, but it's nearly over..
Come on, one more..
123 + 5

QUICK! THINK ABOUT A TOOL AND A COLOUR, then Click here!

Time Gets Better With Age

 

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Furby Autopsy

 

The Wizard just purchased a previously enjoyed Furby at the bargain price of $4.99. (Sells for $30 on eBay). Name of Toh-Lu. Got interested in how they work. This site is great! The Easter eggs are fun! I got Toh-Lu to hum "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star"!!!

Furby Easter Eggs:

1. Feed 3 times (waiting to finish talking each time)
Then pat his back
He will then burp 8 times

2. Another easter egg: Clap 3 times (so he hears and waiting to finish talking each time)
Then pat his back. he will then sing twinkle twinkle little star

3. Another easter egg: To find out your furbys name tickle 3 times
Then pat his back and he will tell you his name (it might not work the first time)

4. Another easter egg:Cover his eyes three times (waiting for him to respond each time)
Then pat his back. he will then say cocka-doodle do (x2) me love you

Click on the picture above to go to the Furby autopsy

Moon Phases and what they mean to you

 

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Ever Seen a New Zealand Hooker?

Click here.

Polar Bears Can't Read!

 

Jeff Foxworthy on Saskatchewan!

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 36 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you might live in Saskatchewan.

If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each year because Regina is the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in Saskatchewan.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you might live in Saskatchewan.

If you instinctively walk like a penguin for six months out of the year, you might live in Saskatchewan.

If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Saskatchewan.

 

If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in Saskatchewan.

If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Saskatchewan.
 

YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE SASKATCHEWANIAN WHEN!

1. "Vacation" means going South past Estevan for the weekend.
2. You measure distance in hours.
3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
4. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.
5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.
6. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
7. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
8. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.
9. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce.
10. Down South to you means Portal.
11. Your 1st. of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.
12. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
13. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly." But it is still t-shirt weather
14. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward this post to all your Saskatchewan friends.

Helping hand!

A little girl asked her mom, "Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?"

 Mom replies, "No, because she is in heat."

 "What's that mean?" asked the child.

 "Go ask your father.  I think he's in the garage."

 The little girl goes to the garage and says, "Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block?  I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you."

 Dad said, "Bring Belle over here."

 He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog's backside with it to disguise the scent, and said "OK, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time round the block."

 The little girl left, and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash.

 Surprised, Dad asked, "Where's Belle?"

 YOU'RE GONNA' LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!!

 The little girl said, "She ran out of gas about halfway down the block, so another dog is pushing her home."

Why God made Mothers

 Answers given by 2nd grade school  children to the following questions.

 Why did God make mothers?
 
 1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
 
 2. Mostly to clean the house.
 
 3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
 
 
 How did God make  mothers?
 
 1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
 
 2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
 
 3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He Just used bigger parts.
 
 
 What ingredients are mothers made  of?
 
 1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
 
 2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.
 
 
 Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
 
 1. We're related.
 
 2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.
 
 
 What kind of little girl was your mom?
 
 1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
 
 2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
 
 3. They say she used to be nice.
 
 
 What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
 
 1. His last name.
 
 2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
 
 3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
 
 
 Why did your Mom marry your dad?
 
 1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
 
 2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
 
 3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
 
 
 Who's the boss at your house?
 
 1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball..
 
 2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
 
 3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
 
 
 What's the difference between moms and dads?
 
 1. Moms work at work and work at home, & dads just go to work at work.
 
 2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
 
 3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.

Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
 
 
 What does your Mom do in her spare time?
 
 1. Mothers don't do spare time.
 
 2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
 
 
 What would it take to make your Mom  perfect?
 
 1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
 
 2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.
 
 
 If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?
 
 1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
 
 2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
 
 3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on her back of her head.

"I'd Like To Teach Dolphins To Sing...

 ..In Perfect Harmony...."

Dolphins sing 'Batman' theme

Scientists have taught dolphins to combine both rhythm and vocalisations to produce music, resulting in an extremely high-pitched, short version of the Batman theme song.

The findings, outlined in two studies, are the first time that nonhuman mammals have demonstrated they can recognise rhythms and reproduce them vocally.

"Humans are sensitive to rhythms embedded in sequences of sounds, but we typically consider this skill to be part of processing for language and music, cognitive domains that we consider to be uniquely human," says Professor Heidi Harley, lead author of both studies.

"Clearly, aspects of those domains are available to other species."

The studies will be presented at the joint meeting of the Acoustical Society of America and NOISE-CON 2005, which runs (ran from)  from 17 to 21 October in Minneapolis.

Learning to sing

Harley, who is associate professor of social sciences at the New College of Florida in Sarasota, says that both studies tested dolphins at Disney's Epcot Center in Florida.

The researchers first had an adult male bottlenose dolphin position itself in front of an underwater sound projector, called a hydrophone, that produced six different 14 kiloherz, 4 second rhythms.

The dolphin was rewarded for performing a certain behaviour to each rhythm. For example, when rhythm 1 played, it waved its pectoral fin and when rhythm 2 played, it tossed a ball.

The various rhythms were played at different frequencies and tempos to ensure the dolphin was recognising rhythms instead of just frequencies or sound durations.

Another adult male was trained to produce similar rhythms using a pneumatic switch, essentially a small, air-filled ball connected to a computer that then generated sounds whenever the dolphin pressed the switch.

"The dolphin was reinforced for producing a specific rhythm to a specific object," says Harley.

"For example, when we presented him with a Batman doll, he received a fish for producing a specific rhythm, in this case, a short sound and then a long one."

"If you recall the original Batman TV series musical intro you'll probably remember the way they sang 'Bat-maaaaaaaan'," she adds.

The dolphin spontaneously vocalised to the rhythms, so the researchers started to reward the male with fish whenever it matched its 'singing' to the rhythms.

By the end of the studies, the sientists could show an object, such as the Batman doll, which represented a certain rhythm-vocalisation combo to the dolphin, and it would create the correct sounds both vocally and using the switch.

Batmaaaaaaan

Gordon Bauer, associate professor of psychology at the New College of Florida who did not work on the studies, says, "This is the first report, to my knowledge, of a nonhuman mammal's ability to discriminate rhythmic patterns."

But Bauer doubts that dolphins realise they are producing what people consider 'music'.

"I think music is a human construct," he says. "I doubt that it has pertinence to animals, although the elements of music, such as pitch, time, timbre, rhythm, etc, may be incorporated into animal communication."

Harley agrees, and hopes the everyday vocalisations of dolphins will be analysed in terms of their rhythmic content.

In the near future, she and her team are planning to test the dolphins on their ability to recognise recordings of their own rhythms by having them associate their own sound creations with identifying objects similar to the Batman doll.

*Jennifer Viegas, Discovery News

Fred Dingaling

A cop stops a car for traveling faster than the posted speed limit. So he asks the man his name.

"Fred," he replies.

"Fred what?" the officer asks.

"Just Fred," the man responds.

The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the fellow a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket.  The officer then presses him for the last name.  The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it. The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it.

"Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?"

The man replies, "It's a long story, so stay with me."

"I was born Fred Dingaling. I know -- a funny last name. The kids used to tease me all the time. So I stayed to myself, studied hard, and got good grades.  When I got older I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Dingaling, MD."

"After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through school, got my degree, so then I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS."

"Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD. So now I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS, with VD.

Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS.

Then I was Fred Dingaling, MD with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Dingaling with VD.

Then the VD took away my Dingaling, so now I am Just Fred."

The officer walked away in tears, laughing.

Mis - Fortune Cookie

 

These still give me a chuckle

Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in movie?
They went to see "Closed for the Winter."



Why did the blonde resolve to have only 3 children?
She heard that one out of every four children born in the world was Chinese


Did you hear about the near-tragedy at the mall?
There was a power outage, and two blondes were stuck on the escalators for over four hours.



A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun.

He told her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out.

So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happened.

Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said, "What are you doing?"

The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.

The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Uh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows first."



A blonde went to an eye doctor to have her eyes checked for glasses. The doctor directed her to read various letters with the left eye while covering the right eye. The blonde was so mixed up on which eye was which that the eye doctor, in disgust, took a paper lunch bag with a hole to see through, covered up the appropriate eye, and asked her to read the letters. As he did so, he noticed the blonde had tears streaming down her face.

"Look," said the doctor, "there's no need to get emotional about getting glasses." "I know," agreed the blonde, "But I kind of had my heart set on wire frames.



A blonde was shopping at a Target Store and came across a silver thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and brought it over to the clerk to ask what it was. The clerk said, "That's a thermos . . . it keeps some things hot and some things cold"

"Wow, said the blonde, "that's amazing. I'm going to buy it!" So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day. Her boss saw it on her desk.

"What do you have there?" he asked.

"Why, that's a thermos . .. . it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold," she replied.

Her boss inquired, "What do you have in it?"

The blond replied, "Two Popsicles, and some coffee,"



A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls, and sat down next to a beautiful (you guessed it) blonde. The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets.

Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls."

Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him thoughtfully and finally, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, asked, "Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"

Star Trek vs. Star Wars

 

The Nun

A Russian soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, “Please, may I hide under your skirt, I'll explain later.” 

The nun agreed. A moment later two military police ran up and asked: “Sister, have you seen a soldier?” 

The nun replied, “He went that way.” After the military police ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, “I can't thank you enough, Sister. You see, I don't want to go to Ukraine.” 

The nun said, “I understand completely.” The soldier added, “I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!” 

The nun replied, “If you had looked a little higher, you would've seen a great pair of balls too. I don't want to go to Ukraine either."

13 signs you're falling in love

 

What is the name of man in the fridge who turns off the light - and why is he named that?

There is a little man who lives in the fridge. I have seen him. You have to open the door quick enough and you can see him running away. He is about 2 inches tall and where a green shirt and overalls. 

* His name is Yahootie. I am unsure of the spelling. He lives in the refrigerator and hides out in there, usually behind the milk. He comes out of the refrigerator and will turn on the lights in the kitchen and leave them on. My dad would always blame Yahootie whenever no one in the family would admit to leaving lights or not putting things back where they belong. My dad knew knew this little guy very well.

* I heard this little guy's name was used in WWII as a password. If you didn't know his name you could get shot! I think this was an advertising gimmick. I believe the little man is named "Monty" and he was responsible for shutting off the light in refrigerators sold by Montgomery Ward.

The Racing Camel

A certain man married and moved to the land of his father-in-law. Now his father-in-law was a wealthy man who had a large herd of racing camels, and provided the man with a new racing camel every two years, and had his grooms feed and water and care for the camel.

The man had a saddle from his youth which he dearly loved, and used on his camel. Then one day, at a great gathering of all his father-in-law's family and friends, he stood up and said:

"I have been here among you for years, and have loved this community, yet you have not helped me. Half the time, when I go riding, I fall off my camel. I have even contacted the maker of my saddle, who said my saddle would work fine if I used a wedge-shaped pad under it on the camel. I am tired of falling off, and this is ridiculous."

His father-in-law took him aside and said, "dearest son-in-law, we sorrow with you that you are unable to use your favourite saddle. We all understand how a loved saddle can fit you perfectly. Our saddle-makers are experts in making saddles for racing camels, but do not know how to make your donkey saddle work on a camel. Please take your choice of any fine camel saddle in my tack room."

Very Strange Websites

Arnie Sailormoonegger:

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Stealth Boats:

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Ninja Flex:

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Endless Horse:

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That's The Finger:

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Bury Me With My Money:

 

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 Cross Divisions:

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Cat Bounce:

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Koalas To The Max: 

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Falling:

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Zombo.com:

Visit Site (click on the speaker icon on zombo.com)

NoHomophobes.com:

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Corgy Orgy:

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Ponderings on the Path

Click above to visit Deerhorn Shamanic Services to read more stories

by Trent Deerhorn, Deerhorn Shamanic Services

I am one who enjoys going for walks in the morning…at least when the weather is nice. Once it is raining or snowing or just darn cold, then I hop on board the eliptical and enjoy a “walk” that way.  But my favorite is to walk through parks and such before work each day. Actually, my favorite is to walk through the woods, but I don’t always have time to get out of the city for that, so I settle for the parks.

Now, as I am walking it is usually around the time that people are headed to work and to school and so on.  But there are also others who are simply out for walks as well. I have noticed something that really stands out to me. If I encounter someone who is, say, 35+ years of age, they will usually smile and say, “good morning” and so on, as will I. But people who are younger, say teens to 20’s, will keep their eyes either to the ground or look past me as they pass by, not acknowledging my presence whatsoever. Even if I smile and say, “good morning,” they will simply ignore that and keep walking.

Have we really taught them such “stranger danger” mentality that all courtesy has gone out the window? Is it more important to be “cool” and not respond than it is to be pleasant? Are they so insecure in themselves that they think that simply saying something as easy as “good morning” or even just “morning” (not all mornings are good) is such an emotional effort that takes such a toll of them that they just cannot manage? Please do not misunderstand me. I do not think that ANYONE is obliged to acknowledge my presence. I am not that egocentric. However, when they do not acknowledge myself or anyone else, as I have observed, then there is a real problem devoloping.

I do get it when it comes to young women. Women have been targets of violence for far too long and I do have a LOT to say regarding that, so I won’t go on a rant about it at this time. Suffice it to say, I get it that they may not feel comfortable with smiling or responding to some male stranger walking on a path in the park. Totally get it. BUT, I have also found that, on the very rare occasions that a young person does deem it to be appropriate to be pleasant, IT IS USUALLY THE FEMALES AND NOT THE MALES.

Having said all of this, I must also mention that something else I have noticed is that people tune out nature while they are walking. Yes, I like to listen to music in my earbuds while I walk because it helps me to keep a good pace. But I also have the sound turned way down so that I can still hear the birds, traffic, voices and so on. What is disturbing is that as some young folks walk past, I can hear THEIR music in their earbuds!  Do they not realize that by 30 they will be deaf?? Holy crap! Talk about tuning out the world around you!

I think that this sort of thing is going to have long lasting negative ripple effects in society. How are they going to even maintain a relationship if the go-to is to tune everything and everyone out? How are they going to be able to respond to the world around them if they are oblivious of what is happening around them?

This sort of thing scares me. There was a time that we were raised to be responsible. That is the ability to respond. But if we are tuned out, then how are we able to respond? As I get older, I have begun to worry about the generation that may reasonably be put in charge of my personal care in some nursing home way down the road. If they treat me like this NOW, then how are they going to treat me then? Will I die from malnourishment and neglect because some young idiot didn’t deem it their job to care for me when that is what they are being paid to fricken do? And how are they going to even care for their own offspring if they are tuned out in front of a video game or listening to music blasting in their earbuds?

These are the things that I ponder while on the walking path. I have come to the conclusion so far that the world is going to hell in a handbasket, and I challenge anyone who disagrees to prove it. In the meantime, I hope that my demise is fast and painless, because if I have to rely upon any of these kids to take care of rolling me over so I don’t get bed sores, I am screwed.

Opinions...

 

Funny Photos

 

Smiling Triggerfish

Grinning Moose

Farting Zebra

Coming Out Is Not Easy... When You're Married!

 

The Wizard's Coming Out Story
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Did You Know.....

Locomotives are actually driven by ELECTRIC motors?

GM Electromotive SD70M

The diesel engine makes 3,200 horsepower, and the generator can turn this into almost 4,700 amps of electrical current. The four drive motors use this electricity to generate over 64,000 pounds of thrust. There is a completely separate V-16 engine and generator to provide electrical power for the rest of the train. This generator is called the head-end power unit. The one on this train can make over 560 kilowatts (kW) of electrical power.

This combination of diesel engine and electric generators and motors makes the locomotive a hybrid vehicle. In this article, we'll start by learning why locomotives are built this way and why they have steel wheels. Then we'll take a look at the layout and key components.

By going with a hybrid setup, the main diesel engine can run at a constant speed, turning an electrical generator. The generator sends electrical power to a traction motor at each axle, which powers the wheels. The traction motors can produce adequate torque at any speed, from a full stop to 110 mph (177 kph), without needing to change gears.

Steel Wheels

Ever wonder why trains have steel wheels, rather than tires like a car? It's to reduce rolling friction. When your car is driving on the freeway, something like 25 percent of the engine's power is being used to push the tires down the road. Tires bend and deform a lot as they roll, which uses a lot of energy.

The amount of energy used by the tires is proportional to the weight that is on them. Since a car is relatively light, this amount of energy is acceptable (you can buy low rolling-resistance tires for your car if you want to save a little gas).

Since a train weighs thousands of times more than a car, the rolling resistance is a huge factor in determining how much force it takes to pull the train.

The steel wheels on the train ride on a tiny contact patch -- the contact area between each wheel and the track is about the size of a dime, which isn't a whole lot larger than a tick:

The downside of using steel wheels is that they don't have much traction.

Traction

Traction when going around turns is not an issue because train wheels have flanges that keep them on the track. But traction when braking and accelerating is an issue.

In front of each wheel is a nozzle that uses compressed air to spray sand, which is stored in two tanks on the locomotive

This locomotive can generate 64,000 pounds of thrust. But in order for it to use this thrust effectively, the eight wheels on the locomotive have to be able to apply this thrust to the track without slipping. The locomotive uses a neat trick to increase the traction. In front of each wheel is a nozzle that uses compressed air to spray sand, which is stored in two tanks on the locomotive. The sand dramatically increases the traction of the drive wheels. The train has an electronic traction-control system that automatically starts the sand sprayers when the wheels slip or when the engineer makes an emergency stop. The system can also reduce the power of any traction motor whose wheels are slipping.

The Engine and Generator

The main engine in this locomotive is a General Motors 4,300 THP and the locomotive is equipped with EMD's 16-710G3C-T2 engine. The "710" means that each cylinder in this turbocharged, two-stroke, diesel V-16 has a displacement of 710 cubic inches (11.6 L). That's more than double the size of most of the biggest gasoline V-8 car engines -- and we're only talking about one of the 16 cylinders in this 3,200-hp engine.

The main engine in this locomotive is a General Motors EMD 710 series engine.

So why two-stroke? Even though this engine is huge, if it operated on the four-stroke diesel cycle, like most smaller diesel engines do, it would only make about half the power. This is because with the two-stroke cycle, there are twice as many combustion events (which produce the power) per revolution. It turns out that the diesel two-stoke engine is really much more elegant and efficient than the two-stroke gasoline engine.

You might be thinking, if this engine is about 24 times the size of a big V-8 car engine, and uses a two-stroke instead of a four-stroke cycle, why does it only make about 10 times the power? The reason is that this engine is designed to produce 3,200 hp continuously, and it lasts for decades. If you continuously ran the engine in your car at full power, you'd be lucky if it lasted a week.

Here are some of the specifications of this engine:

* Number of cylinders: 16
* Compression ratio: 16:1
* Displacement per cylinder: 11.6 L (710 in3)
* Cylinder bore: 230 mm (9.2 inches)
* Cylinder stroke: 279 mm (11.1 inches)
* Full speed: 904 rpm
* Normal idle speed: 269 rpm

This giant engine is hooked up to an equally impressive generator. It is about 6 feet (1.8 m) in diameter and weights about 17,700 pounds (8,029 kg). At peak power, this generator makes enough electricity to power a neighborhood of about 1,000 houses!

Here is the ELECTRIC part:

So where does all this power go? It goes into four, massive electric motors located in the trucks.

Propulsion

The traction motors provide propulsion power to the wheels. There is one on each axle.

Each motor drives a small gear, which meshes with a larger gear on the axle shaft. This provides the gear reduction that allows the motor to drive the train at speeds of up to 110 mph.

The traction motors provide propulsion power to the wheels. There is one on each axle

Each motor weighs 6,000 pounds (2,722 kg) and can draw up to 1,170 amps of electrical current.

...So now ya know!

*Howstuffworks.com

mmmmuffins

 

 Click above

Swing da bat

This takes a minute to open after being opened.

Swing da bat


Click to make the penguin jump and then click again in time to make the polar bear swing the bat to hit the penguin across the ice! Can become addictive !

The Wizard has scored 316.6 on the 14th try. Record your high scores under the comments...

SEX

 

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."
--Woody Allen

"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL."
--Lynn Lavner

"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
--Camille Paglia

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for incarnation. The other eight are unimportant."
--George Burns

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship."
--Sharon Stone

"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."
--Tiger Woods

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
--Jack Nicholson

" Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
--Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady, and you didn't think Barbara had a sense of humour)

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
--Robin Williams

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
--Billy Crystal

"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."
--Robert De Niro

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
--Dustin Hoffman

"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, 'I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked'."
--Jerry Seinfeld

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
--Robin Williams

"It's been so long since I've had sex, I've forgotten who ties up whom."
--Joan Rivers

" Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences money can buy."
--Steve Martin

" You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for in later life."
--Elmo Phillips

" Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."
--Oscar Wilde

" It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married."
--George Burns

Puppies for sale

 

A farmer had some puppies he needed to sell. He painted a sign advertising the 4 pups. And set about nailing it to a post on the edge of his yard. As he was driving the last nail into the post, he felt a tug on his overalls. He looked down into the eyes of a little boy.

"Mister," he said, "I want to buy "one of your puppies."

"Well," said the farmer, as he rubbed the sweat of the back of his neck, "These puppies come from fine parents and cost a good deal of money."

The boy dropped his head for a moment. Then reaching deep into his pocket, he pulled out a handful of change and held it up to the farmer.

"I've got thirty-nine cents. Is that enough to take a look?"

"Sure," said the farmer. And with that he let out a whistle. "Here, Dolly!" he called. Out from the doghouse and down the ramp ran Dolly followed by four little balls of fur.

The little boy pressed his face against the chain link fence. His eyes danced with delight. As the dogs made their way to the fence, the little boy noticed something else stirring inside the doghouse.

Slowly another little ball appeared, this one noticeably smaller. Down the ramp it slid. Then in a somewhat awkward manner, the little pup began hobbling toward the others, doing its best to catch up....

"I want that one," the little boy said, pointing to the runt. The farmer knelt down at the boy's side and said, "Son, you don't want that puppy. He will never be able to run and play with you like these other dogs would."

With that the little boy stepped back from the fence, reached down, and began rolling up one leg of his trousers. In doing so he revealed a steel brace running down both sides of his leg attaching itself to a specially made shoe.

Looking back up at the farmer, he said, "You see sir, I don't run too well myself, and he will need someone who understands."

With tears in his eyes, the farmer reached down and picked up the little pup.

Holding it carefully he handed it to the little boy.

"How much?" asked the little boy. "No charge," answered the farmer, "There's no charge for love."

The world is full of people who need someone who understands.

The Cat

  

You don't have to own a cat to appreciate this one...

 A couple was dressed and ready to go out for the evening. They turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered their pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. They phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi.

The taxi arrived and the couple opened the front door to leave their house. The cat they had put out into the yard scoots back into the house. They don't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird.

The wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, the man in hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab, the wife doesn't want the driver to know the house will be empty for the night.

She explains to the taxi driver that her husband will be out soon. "He's just going upstairs to say good-bye to my mother." A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab. "Sorry I took so long," he says, as they drive away.

"Stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. Had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off so I grabbed her by the neck. Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked. I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!"

The cabdriver hit a parked car...

REFLECTIONS - And then it is Winter

 

You know, time has a way of moving quickly and catching you unaware of the passing years.

It seems just yesterday that I was a young girl/boy, just married and embarking on my new life with my mate. And yet in a way, it seems like eons ago, and I wonder where all the years went. I know that I lived them all...

And I have glimpses of how it was back then and of all my hopes and dreams... But, here it is...the winter of my life and it catches me by surprise...

How did I get here so fast? Where did the years go and where did my babies go? And where did my youth go?

I remember well... seeing older people through the years and thinking that those older people were years away from me and that winter was so far off that I could not fathom it or imagine fully what it would be like...

But, here it is...husband retired and he's really getting gray...he moves slower and I see an older man now. He's in much better shape than me... but, I see the great change...

Not the one I married who was dark and young and strong... but, like me, his age is beginning to show and we are now those older folks that we used to see and never thought we'd be.

Each day now, I find that just getting a shower is a real target for the day! And taking a nap is not a treat anymore...it's mandatory! Cause if I don't on my own free will...I just fall asleep where I sit!

And so, now I enter into this new season of my life unprepared for all the aches and pains and the loss of strength and ability to go and do things.

But, at least I know, that though the winter has come, and I'm not sure how long it will last...This I know, that when it's over...it's over....Yes , I have regrets ....There are things I wish I hadn't done ....things I should have done ..But indeed , there are many things I'm happy to have done ....It's all in a lifetime...

So, if you're not in your winter yet...let me remind you, that it will be here faster than you think. So, whatever you would like to accomplish in your life please do it quickly!

Life goes by quickly So, do what you can today, because you can never be sure whether this is your winter or not!

You have no promise that you will see all the seasons of your life...so, live for good today and say all the things that you want your loved ones to remember...

"Life is a gift to you. The way you live your life is your gift to those who came after. Make it a fantastic one."

LIVE IT WELL!!

~author unknown~

Happiness Is A Voyage

 

A Powerpoint Presentation.
Click above

R.I.P. John Aniston (1933 - 2022)

John Aniston with daughter Jennifer

John Aniston, a veteran actor known for his work on the daytime drama “Days of Our Lives,” has died, his daughter, actress Jennifer Aniston, shared on Monday.

He was 89.

“You were one of the most beautiful humans I ever knew. I am so grateful that you went soaring into the heavens in peace - and without pain. And on 11/11 no less! You always had perfect timing,” Jennifer Aniston wrote in a statement shared on Instagram. “That number will forever hold an even greater meaning for me now.”

Hello there!

 

Thought I'd check in on you for a bit!

As I see there's nothing new going on.
Looking good though.
Wish you a wonderful day!