*Thanks, Auntie 'M'
Welcome to 'OZ' - The 'Other' Side of the Rainbow!! Posting is at 10AM, Noon and 2PM CST daily. Up to 12 days of posts on the main page. The archives have more. You can forward posts by clicking on the envelope at the bottom of the post. Enjoy your stay! *** If you need to contact me, or have a copyright issue, please use the "Contact The Wizard" form on the left side of 'OZ'. Original source and author is cited and credited in each post where possible. ***
Monday, November 09, 2020
Kyle
One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school.
His name was Kyle.
It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, "Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd."
I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.
As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes
My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him and as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye.
As I handed him his glasses, I said, "Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives."
He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!" There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.
I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived.
As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before.
He said he had gone to private school before now.
I would have never hung out with a private school kid before.
We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books.
He turned out to be a pretty cool kid.
I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends He said yes.
We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him.
Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again.
I stopped him and said, "Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!"
He just laughed and handed me half the books.
Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends.
When we were seniors, we began to think about college.
Kyle decided on Georgetown, and I was going to Duke.
I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem.
He was going to be a doctor, and I was going for business on a football scholarship.
Kyle was valedictorian of our class.
I teased him all the time about being a nerd.
He had to prepare a speech for graduation.
I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak.
Graduation day, I saw Kyle.
He looked great.
He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school.
He filled out and actually looked good in glasses.
He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him.
Boy, sometimes I was jealous! Today was one of those days.
I could see that he was nervous about his speech.
So, I smacked him on the back and said, "Hey, big guy, you'll be great!"
He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled.
"Thanks," he said.
As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began "Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years.
Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach...but mostly your friends...
I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them.
I am going to tell you a story."
I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met.
He had planned to kill himself over that weekend.
He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home.
He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile.
"Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable."
I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment.
I saw his Mom and Dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile.
Not until that moment did I realize it's depth.
Never underestimate the power of your actions.
With one small gesture you can change a person's life.
For better or for worse.
God puts us all in each other's lives to impact one another in some way.
Look for God in others.
His name was Kyle.
It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, "Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd."
I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.
As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes
My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him and as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye.
As I handed him his glasses, I said, "Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives."
He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!" There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.
I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived.
As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before.
He said he had gone to private school before now.
I would have never hung out with a private school kid before.
We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books.
He turned out to be a pretty cool kid.
I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends He said yes.
We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him.
Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again.
I stopped him and said, "Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!"
He just laughed and handed me half the books.
Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends.
When we were seniors, we began to think about college.
Kyle decided on Georgetown, and I was going to Duke.
I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem.
He was going to be a doctor, and I was going for business on a football scholarship.
Kyle was valedictorian of our class.
I teased him all the time about being a nerd.
He had to prepare a speech for graduation.
I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak.
Graduation day, I saw Kyle.
He looked great.
He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school.
He filled out and actually looked good in glasses.
He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him.
Boy, sometimes I was jealous! Today was one of those days.
I could see that he was nervous about his speech.
So, I smacked him on the back and said, "Hey, big guy, you'll be great!"
He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled.
"Thanks," he said.
As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began "Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years.
Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach...but mostly your friends...
I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them.
I am going to tell you a story."
I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met.
He had planned to kill himself over that weekend.
He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home.
He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile.
"Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable."
I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment.
I saw his Mom and Dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile.
Not until that moment did I realize it's depth.
Never underestimate the power of your actions.
With one small gesture you can change a person's life.
For better or for worse.
God puts us all in each other's lives to impact one another in some way.
Look for God in others.
Disney Trivia
Start me up - Windows Startup Sounds Through The Ages
From Windows 95 all the way to Vista, each incarnation of the ubiquitous Microsoft OS has had its own signature startup chime (which, if you were prone to crashing the system, you heard awfully often). Take a trip down painful memory lane with this quick video snippet of every Windows startup jingle we've gotten to know and loathe over the last decade.
Heaven Can't Wait?
The couple was 85 years old and had been married for
sixty years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by
because they watched their pennies. Though not young, they were both in
very good health largely due to the wife's insistence on healthy foods
and exercise for the last decade.
One day, their good health didn't help when they went on a rare vacation and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven.
They reached the pearly gates and St. Peter escorted them inside. He
took them to a beautiful mansion furnished in gold and fine silks with a
fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath. A maid could
be seen hanging their favorite clothes in the closet. They gasped in
astonishment when he said, "Welcome to Heaven. This will be your home
from now."
The old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost.
"Why, nothing," Peter replied, "remember, this is your reward in Heaven."
The old man looked out the window and right there he saw a championship
golf course, finer and more beautiful than any ever built on Earth.
"What are the greens fees?" grumbled the old man.
"This is heaven," St. Peter replied. "You can play for free every day."
Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch with
every imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from seafood to steaks to
exotic deserts to free flowing beverages.
"Don't even ask," St. Peter said to the man. "This is Heaven, it is all free for you to enjoy."
The old man looked around and glanced nervously at his wife. "Well,
where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods, and the decaffeinated
tea?" he asked.
"That's the best part," St. Peter replied. "You can eat and drink as
much as you like of whatever you like and you will never get fat or
sick.
"This IS Heaven!"
The old man pushed, "No gym to work out at?"
"Not unless you want to," was the answer.
"No testing my sugar or blood pressure or..."
"Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself."
The old man glared at his wife and said, "You and your fucking bran muffins. We could have been here ten years ago!"
Sunday, November 08, 2020
Why, Why, Why
Do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion Stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why
do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum
cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to
give the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
When
we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping
cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?"
Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid
idiot?"
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch
something that's falling Off the table you always manage to knock
something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
And my FAVORITE;
The
statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is
suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best
friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.
R.I.P. Alex Trebek (1940 - 2020)
Alex Trebek, the beloved host of "Jeopardy!," has died after his open and public battle with stage 4 pancreatic cancer. He was 80.
Trebek died at home early Sunday with family and friends surrounding him, "Jeopardy!" studio Sony said in a statement.
Rainbow Connection
Songs about rainbows
And what's on the other side
Rainbow's are visions
They're only illusions
And rainbows have nothing to hide
So we've been told and some chose to
Believe it
But I know they're wrong wait and see
Someday we'll find it
The Rainbow Connection
The lovers, the dreamers and me
Who said that every wish
Would be heard and answered
When wished on the morning star
Somebody thought of that
And someone believed it
And look what it's done so far
What's so amazing
That keeps us star gazing
What so we think we might see
Someday we'll find it
That Rainbow Connection
The lovers the dreamers and me
Have you been half asleep
And have you heard voices
I've heard them calling my name
Are these the sweet sounds that called
The young sailors
I think they're one and the same
I've heard it too many times to ignore it
There's something that I'm supposed to be
Someday we'll find it
The Rainbow Connection
The lovers, the dreamers and me
A Little Boy's Story....
"Late again," the third-grade teacher said to little Sammy.
"It ain't my fault this time," Miss Crabtree. "You can blame this'un on
my Daddy. The reason I'm three hours late is my Daddy sleeps naked!"
Now Miss Crabtree had taught grammar school for thirty-some-odd years.
Despite her mounting fears, she asked little Sammy what he meant by
that. Full of grins and mischief, and in the flower of his youth, little
Sammy and trouble were old friends, but he always told her the truth.
"You see, Miss Crabtree; out at the ranch we got this here low down
coyote. The last few nights he done et six hens and killed Ma's best
milk goat. Last night, when Daddy heard a noise out in the chicken pen,
he grabbed his shot gun and said to Ma, "That coyote's back again, I'm a
gonna git him!'" 'Stay back, he whispered to all us kids!"
He was naked as a jaybird, no boots, no pants, no shirt!
To the hen house he crawled, just like an Injun on the snoop. Then he
stuck that double barreled 12 Guage shot gun through the window of the
coop. As he stared into the darkness, with coyotes on his mind, our old
hound dog Zeke had done woke up and comes sneakin' up behind Daddy.
Then as we all looked on plumb helpless; old Zeke stuck his cold nose in Daddy's crack!
"Miss Crabtree, we all been cleanin' chickens since three o'clock this mornin'!"
@#$%@#$!!!
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND
THINKING, "SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD?" WELL... YOU'LL LOVE THIS ONE!
I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW
DENTIST. I NOTICED HIS DDS DIPLOMA, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME. SUDDENLY, I
REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK-HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAME NAME HAD
BEEN IN MY HIGH SCHOOL CLASS SOME 40-ODD YEARS AGO. COULD HE BE THE SAME
GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN??
UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT. THIS
BALDING, GRAY-HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS WAY TOO OLD TO
HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE.
HMM! M.....OR COULD HE???
AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED MORGAN PARK HIGH SCHOOL.
"YES. YES, I DID. I'M A MUSTANG," HE GLEAMED WITH PRIDE.
"WHEN DID YOU GRADUATE?" I ASKED.
HE ANSWERED, "IN 1959. WHY DO YOU ASK?"
“YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!" I EXCLAIMED.
HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY.
THEN, THAT UGLY, OLD, WRINKLED, BALD, FAT, GRAY, DECREPID SON-OF-A-BITCH ASKED, "WHAT DID YOU TEACH?"
Saturday, November 07, 2020
Congratulations to Joe Biden, President-Elect of the United States, Kamala Harris, Vice President-Elect
Joseph Robinette Biden Jr. is an American politician and president-elect of the United States. After defeating incumbent Donald Trump in the 2020 United States presidential election, he will be inaugurated as the 46th president in January 2021.
Also congratulations to Kamala Harris, First woman, woman of colour, as vice president-elect!
Kamala Devi Harris is an American politician and attorney who is the current vice president-elect of the United States. A member of the Democratic Party, she will assume office on January 20, 2021, alongside President-elect Joe Biden, having defeated incumbent President Donald Trump and Vice President Mike Pence in the 2020 presidential election.
Looks like a GREAT TEAM. The World is ready for The NEW United States of America!
If all the world
and I an inmate in it,
I should sleep day and night
and watch the fan tracing
circles on the wall.
if my room were all the world
and I could stay inside it always,
I should sit in my chair with my
mind adrift and watch the leaves
as they changed.
if my room and the world were
one and the same,
and I could live inside it,
I would drift happy from morning
to night, dreaming dreams of dreams
and watching the light
hovering like butterflies
on my brain,
shifting and melting
and flowing into
the wall.
*© By Eowyn Wilcox
Stupid Is As Stupid Says...
ON NAVIES, NUDE
"NAVY CHANGES SKIRT POLICY, MAKING APPAREL OPTIONAL"
--headline in the San Diego Union-Tribune
ON SURPRISES, NOT SURPRISING
"It will come as no surprise to anyone if they spring a complete surprise on us!"
--sportscaster covering the World Cycling Championships
Friday, November 06, 2020
Stupid Is As Stupid Says...
ON MOTTOS , NON-CUSTOMER-ATTRACTING
"OUR MOTTO IS TO GIVE OUR CUSTOMERS THE LOWEST POSSIBLE PRICES AND WORKMANSHIP"
--sign at a shop in Maine
ON JUST WHAT KIND OF SCHOOL IS THIS, ANYWAY?
"Are you a lively and stimulating teacher?
Do you enjoy working within a supportive and caring environment?
Are you happy working alongside dedicated and committed staff?
Are you challenged by articulate, perceptive and thoughtful children?
If the answers are YES, then this is the wrong school for you."
--ad for a teacher in the Saffron Walden Reporter
Stupid Is As Stupid Says...
ON WE COULD NOT FAIL TO MISUNDERSTAND THIS MORE
"I could not fail to disagree with you less."
--British Member of Parliament Boris Johnson
Gospel
A crusty old man walks into the local Lutheran Church and says to the secretary, "I would like to join this damn church."
The astonished woman replies, "I beg your pardon, sir. I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?"
"Listen up, damn it. I said I want to join this damn church!"
"I'm very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this church."
The secretary leaves her desk and goes into the pastor’s study to inform him of her situation. The pastor agrees that the secretary does not have to listen to that foul language.
They both return to her office and the pastor asks the old geezer, "Sir, what seems to be the problem here?"
"There is no damn problem," the man says. "I just won $200 million bucks in the damn lottery and I want to join this damn church to get rid of some of this damn money."
"I see," says the pastor, "and is this bitch giving you a hard time?"
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