I'll Take 'Queer Quotables' For $500, Alex...

"What is a straight? A line can be straight, or a street, but the human heart, oh, no, it's curved like a road through mountains."
--Tennesse Williams, A Streetcar Named Desire.

"If Michelangelo had been straight, the Sistine Chapel would have been wallpapered."
--Robin Tyler

"Anita Bryant like Anita hole in the head."
--Graffiti

"As a mother, I know that homosexuals cannot biologically reproduce children; therefore, they must recruit our children."
--Anita Bryant

"As long as society is anti-gay, then it will seem like being gay is anti-social."
--Joseph Francis

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
--Dr. Seuss

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
--Woody Allen

"Closets are for clothes."
--Bumper sticker

"Did you hear about the Scottish drag queen? He wore pants."
--Lynn Lavne

"Do not follow where the path may lead. Go, instead, where there is no path and leave a trail."
--Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Drag is when gay men wear everything we lesbians refused to. And better them then us."
--Robin Tyler

"Every time you don't follow your inner guidance, you feel a loss of energy, loss of power, a sense of spiritual deadness."
--Shakti Gawain

"Everybody's journey is individual. If you fall in love with a boy, you fall in love with a boy. The fact that many Americans consider it a disease says more about them than it does about homosexuality."
--James Baldwin

"For a long time I thought I wanted to be a nun. Then I realized that what I really wanted to be was a lesbian."
--Mabel Maney

"Gay and lesbian people fall in love. We settle down. We commit our lives to one another. We raise our children. We protect them. We try to be good citizens."
--California Sen. Sheila Kuehl after California Senate approved gay marriage bill AB849

"Gay people ... were the first to find me, and they get everything, they're so sharp. I'll look out in the audience and I see three or four gay guys right in the front row, or a couple of lesbians, I know it's gonna be a good show."
--Joan Rivers to Denver's Out Front

"Gay people, well, gay people are EVIL, evil right down to their cold black hearts which pump not blood like yours or mine, but rather a thick, vomitous oil that oozes through their rotten veins and clots in their pea-sized brains which becomes the cause of their Nazi-esque patterns of violent behavior. Do you understand?"
--Trey Parker and Matt Stone from South Park, spoken by Mr Garrison

"Girls who put out are tramps. Girls who don't are ladies. This is, however, a rather archaic usage of the word. Should one of you boys happen upon a girl who doesn't put out, do not jump to the conclusion that you have found a lady. What you have probably found is a Lesbian."
--Fran Lebowitz

"God has given you one face, and you make yourself another."
--William Shakespeare

"Hateful to me as the gates of Hades is that man who hides one thing in his heart and speaks another."
--Homer (Not Simpson!)

"Homophobia is a social disease."
--Bumper sticker

"Homosexuality is a sickness, just as are baby-rape or wanting to become head of General Motors."
--Eldridge Cleaver "Notes on a Native Son," Soul on Ice, 1968

"Homosexuality is god's way of insuring that the truly gifted aren't burdened with children."
--Sam Austin

"I am reminded of a colleague who reiterated "all my homosexual patients are quite sick" - to which I finally replied "so are all my heterosexual patients."
--Ernest van den Haag, psychotherapist

"I am the love that dare not speak its name."
--Lord Alfred Douglas from poem Two Loves

"I can't help looking gay. I put on a dress and people say, "Who's the dyke in the dress?""
--Karen Ripley

"I don't mind straight people as long as they act gay in public."
--T-shirt worn by Chicago Bulls transvestite Dennis Rodman during a network-TV interview

"I get sick of listening to straight people complain about, "Well, hey, we don't have a heterosexual-pride day, why do you need a gay-pride day?" I remember when I was a kid I'd always ask my mom: "Why don't we have a Kid's Day? We have a Mother's Day and a Father's Day, but why don't we have a Kid's Day?" My mom would always say, "Every day is Kid's Day." To all those heterosexuals that bitch about gay pride, I say the same thing: Every day is heterosexual-pride day! Can't you people enjoy your banquet and not piss on those of us enjoying our crumbs over here in the corner?"
--Rob Nash

"I just wish more of my fellow queers would come out sometimes. It's nice out here, you know?"
--Elton John accepting Distinguished Achievement Award from Elizabeth Taylor at Los Angeles Gay & Lesbian Center's 25th anniversary blowout

"I like my beers cold and my homosexuals flaming."
--Homer Simpson (Yes, not "The Iliad" Homer!)

"I think God is a callous bitch not making me a lesbian. I'm deeply disappointed by my sexual interest in men."
--Diamanda Galas

"I'd rather be black than gay because when you're black you don't have to tell your mother."
--Charles Pierce, 1980

"If adjustment is necessary, it should be made primarily with regard to the position the homosexual occupies in present-day society, and society should more often be treated than the homosexual."
--Harry Benjamin

"If gay and lesbian people are given civil rights, then everyone will want them!"
--Author unknown as seen on a button

If gays are granted rights, next we'll have to give rights to prostitutes and to people who sleep with St. Bernards and to nailbiters.
--Anita Bryant

"If God had wanted me otherwise, He would have created me otherwise."
--Johann von Goethe

"If homosexuality is a disease, let's all call in queer to work: "Hello. Can't work today, still queer.""
--Robin Tyler

"If horse racing is the sport of kings, then drag racing must be the sport of queens.
--Bert R. Sugar

If male homosexuals are called "gay," then female homosexuals should be called "ecstatic.""
--Shelly Roberts

"If time and space are curved, where do all of the straight people come from?"
--Author Unknown

"If you are ashamed to stand by your colors, you had better seek another flag."
--Author Unknown

"I'm a supporter of gay rights. And not a closet supporter either. From the time I was a kid, I have never been able to understand attacks upon the gay community. There are so many qualities that make up a human being... by the time I get through with all the things that I really admire about people, what they do with their private parts is probably so low on the list that it is irrelevant."
--Paul Newman

"I'm not a lesbian but my girlfriend is."
--Bumper sticker

"I'm not gay but my boyfriend is."
--Bumper sticker

"In an expanding universe, time is on the side of the outcast. Those who once inhabited the suburbs of human contempt find that without changing their address they eventually live in the metropolis."
--Quentin Crisp The Naked Civil Servant, 1978

"In itself, homosexuality is as limiting as heterosexuality: the ideal should be to be capable of loving a woman or a man; either, a human being, without feeling fear, restraint, or obligation."
--Simone de Beauvoir

"Is life not a hundred times too short for us to stifle ourselves."
--Friedrich Nietzsche

"Isn't it a violation of the Georgia sodomy law for the Supreme Court to have its head up its ass?"
--Letter to Playboy magazine, February 1987

"It always seemed to me a bit pointless to disapprove of homosexuality. It's like disapproving of rain."
--Francis Maude

"It doesn't matter what you do in the bedroom as long as you don't do it in the street and frighten the horses."
--Daphne Fielding The Duchess of Jermyn Street

"It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere."
--Agnes Repplier

"It's a helluva start, being able to recognize what makes you happy."
--Lucille Ball

"For most men life is a search for the proper manila envelope in which to get themselves filed."
--Clifton Fadiman

"It's hard enough to be taken seriously in the struggle for gay rights without having a bunch of straight girls running around kissing each other to get the attention of boys and videocameras."
--M. Robin D'Antan, 2002

"I've wondered what my sexuality might be, but I've never wondered whether it was acceptable or not. Anyway, who really cares whether I'm gay or straight?""
--George Michael to Britain's Big Issue magazine

"Jesse Helms and Newt Gingrich were shaking hands congratulating themselves on the introduction of an antigay bill in Congress. If it passes, they won't be able to shake hands, because it will then be illegal for a prick to touch an asshole."
--Judy Carte

"Labels are for filing. Labels are for clothing. Labels are not for people."
--Martina Navratilova

"Lesbianism has always seemed to me an extremely inventive response to a shortage of men, but otherwise not worth the trouble."
--Nora Ephron Heartburn, 1983

"Let my lusts be my ruin, then, since all else is a fake and a mockery."
--Hart Crane

"Let's get one thing straight, I'm not."
--Bumper sticker

Anonymous Declares Total War on Donald Trump *NEW 2016*

'Son Of A Preacher Man' Gets Reimagined As Heartbreaking Gay Romance

Son of a Preacher Man - Tom Goss
So many people are hurt in the name of love. Here's to another way.

The Ides of March

Caesar: The ides of March are come.
Soothsayer: Aye, Caesar, but not gone.
—Julius Caesar, Act III, Scene 1


Thanks to the Bard, the bloody events of 44 B.C. forever linked March 15—also called the Ides of March—with fulfilled prophecies of doom.

"That line of the soothsayer, 'Beware the ides of March,' is a pithy line and people remember it, even if they don't know why," said Georgianna Ziegler, head of reference at Washington, D.C.'s Folger Shakespeare Library.

Until that day Julius Caesar ruled Rome. The traditional Republican government had been supplanted by a temporary dictatorship, one that the famous leader very much wished to make permanent.

But Caesar's quest for power spawned a conspiracy to have him killed, and on March 15 a group of prominent Romans brought him to an untimely end in the Senate House.

Offset Calendars

Aside from its historical connection, the concept of the ides would have resonated with English citizens in 1599, the year Shakespeare's play Julius Caesar was probably performed, Ziegler said.

"This whole business of the Ides of March and timekeeping in the play would have had a strong impact on audiences," she said.

"They were really struck by the differences between their Julian calendar [a revision of the Roman calendar created by Caesar] and the Gregorian calendar kept in Catholic countries on the continent."

Because the two calendars featured years of slightly different lengths, they had diverged significantly and were several days apart.

In Roman times the Ides of March was mostly notable as a deadline for settling debts. That calendar featured ides on the 15th in March, May, July, and October or on the 13th in the other months. The word's Latin roots mean "divide," and the date sought to split the month, originally at the rise of the full moon.

But because calendar months and the lunar cycle are slightly out of sync, this connection was soon lost.

Heroes or Murderers?

The ides of March took on special significance after Caesar's assassination—but observance of the anniversary at the time varied among Roman citizens.

"How they felt depended on their political position," said Philip Freeman, a classicist at Luther College in Decorah, Iowa, and the author of Julius Caesar.
"Some were thrilled that Caesar had died, and some were horrified," he said.
The debate about Caesar's fate has extended through the ages and was taken up by some major literary figures. In Dante's Inferno, for example, Caesar is in Limbo, a relatively pleasant place in hell reserved for virtuous non-Christians.

"But Brutus [one of the leaders of the assassination] is down in the very center of hell with Judas, being munched on by Satan—it's about as bad as you can get," Freeman said.

The Folger library's Ziegler thinks the Bard had a more balanced view.
"I think Shakespeare shows both of them as being humans with their own weaknesses and strong points," she said.

No matter whether they were heroes or murderers, the real-life assassins were subjected to less than pleasant outcomes.

"Within a couple of years Brutus and [fellow assassin] Cassius were dead," Freeman noted.

"They were not able to bring back the Republic, and really what they did was usher in more of a permanent dictatorship under the future Roman emperors—the opposite of what they intended."

Giggles, Guffaws and Groaners

Shall We Gather At the River
A preacher was completing a temperance sermon. With great expression he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."

With even greater emphasis, he said, "And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."

And then, finally, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river." He sat down.

The song leader then stood very cautiously and announced with a pleasant smile, "For our closing song, let us sing Hymn #365: 'Shall We Gather At the River.'"

Wife's Prayer Answered
Wife: Dear God, I wish you could make my husband pay more attention to me, protect me, take me out, sleep close to me at night. I wish he would be more caring, even if I got the smallest of scratches.

God turned her into a smartphone.

Going to the Disco
Husband takes the wife to a disco. There’s a guy on the dance floor break dancing, moonwalking, back flips, the works. The wife turns to her husband and says, "See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down."

Husband says, "Looks like he’s still celebrating!"

Careful with that Opening Joke
Recently a large seminar was held for ministers in training. Among the guests were many well-known motivational speakers.

One of these speakers boldly approached the pulpit and, gathering the entire crowd’s attention, said, “The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman that wasn’t my wife!” The crowd was shocked! He followed up by saying, “And that woman was my mother!” The crowd burst into laughter and he gave his speech, which went over well.

About a week later one of the ministers who had attended the seminar decided to use that joke in his sermon. As he shyly approached the pulpit one sunny Sunday, he tried to rehearse the joke in his head. It seemed a bit foggy to him this morning.

Getting to the microphone he said loudly, “The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of another woman that was not my wife!” His congregation sat shocked. After standing there for almost 10 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, the pastor finally blurted out, “…and I can’t remember who she was!”

From Absolution Comes Possibilities

Eric went to confession on Saturday and he told Father Duffy that he had an affair with a married
women from the parish. Father Duffy asked Eric who she was and Eric said, "Father, I can't tell you."

Father said, "If you don't tell me I cant give you absolution."

Eric again said, "I know Father, but I just can't tell you."

Father Duffy then asked, "Was it Mrs. Murphy?"

"No, Father."

"Was it Mrs. O'Malley?"

"No, Father."

"Was it Mrs. O'Brian?"

"No, Father. I just cannot tell you who it was."

Father Duffy tells Eric to go out and think about it and then come back when ready to confess who it was. Eric leaves the church and runs into his friend Jim. Jim asks, "Did you tell him you had the affair?"

"Yes. He wanted to know who it was, but I wouldn't tell him."

"What did he say? Did he give you absolution?"

"Oh no, but he did give me three new possibilities........"

Snotty Receptionist Messes with the Wrong Old Man
An older gentleman had an appointment to see the urologist who shared an office with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with patients. As he approached the receptionist desk he noticed that the receptionist was a large unfriendly woman who more resembled a Sumo wrestler. He gave her his name. In a very loud voice, the receptionist said, "YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE; YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?"

All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at the very embarrassed man. He recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied, "NO, I'VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION, BUT I DON'T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS."

Moral of the story... DON'T MESS WITH OLD FOLKS!

Midlife Crisis Avoided
After 25 years of marrriage, I took a look at my wife one day and said, "Honey, 25 years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25-year-old sexy chick. Now, we have a nice house, nice car, big bed and plasma screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 50 year old woman. It seems to me that you are not holding up your side of things."

My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 25 year old sexy chick and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, and sleeping on a sofa bed.

Aren't older women great? They really know to how solve your mid-life crisis.

Freshman vs Senior
Freshman: Is never in bed past noon.
Senior: Is never out of bed before noon.

Freshman: Reads the syllabus to find out what classes he can cut.
Senior: Reads the syllabus to find out what classes he needs to attend.

Freshman: Brings a can of soda into a lecture hall.
Senior: Brings a jumbo hoagie and six-pack of Mountain Dew into a recitation class.

Freshman: Calls the professor "Teacher."
Senior: Calls the professor "Bob."

Freshman: Would walk ten miles to get to class.
Senior: Drives to class if it's more than three blocks away.

Freshman: Memorizes the course material to get a good grade.
Senior: Memorizes the professor's habits to get a good grade.

Freshman: Knows a book-full of useless trivia about the university.
Senior: Knows where the next class is. Usually.

Freshman: Shows up at a morning exam clean, perky, and fed.
Senior: Shows up at a morning exam in sweats with a cap on and a box of pop tarts in hand.

Freshman: Has to ask where the computer labs are.
Senior: Has own personal workstation.

Freshman: Lines up for an hour to buy his textbooks in the first week.
Senior: Starts to think about buying textbooks in October... maybe.

Freshman: Looks forward to first classes of the year.
Senior: Looks forward to first beer garden of the year.

Freshman: Is proud of his A+ on Calculus I midterm.
Senior: Is proud of not quite failing his Complex Analysis midterm.

Freshman: Calls his girlfriend back home every other night.
Senior: Calls Domino's every other night.

Freshman: Is appalled at the class size and callousness of professors.
Senior: Is appalled that the campus 'Subway' burned down over the summer.

Freshman: Conscientiously completes all homework, including optional questions.
Senior: Homework? I knew I forgot to do something last night.

Freshman: Goes on grocery-shopping trip with Mom before moving onto campus.
Senior: Has a beer with Mom before moving into group house.

Freshman: Is excited about the world of possibilities that awaits him, the unlimited vista of educational opportunities, the chance to expand one's horizons and really make a contribution to society.
Senior: Is excited about new dryers in laundry room.

Freshman: Takes meticulous four-color notes in class.
Senior: Occasionally stays awake for all of class.

Lawyers are Clever
An old penny pincher had no friends. Just before he died he asked his doctor, lawyer, and pastor to gather around him at bedside.

“I have always heard that you can’t take it with you. But I want to disprove that theory,” he said. “I have $90,000 under my mattress, and when I die, just before they throw the dirt on me at my burial, I want you each to toss in an envelope with $30,000 within.”

The three attended the funeral and each threw his envelope in the grave. On the way back from the cemetery, the pastor said, “I must confess. I needed $10,000 for my new church, so I only threw in $20,000.”

The doctor then said, “I must confess too. I needed $20,000 for a new hospital I was opening up, so I only threw in $10,000.”

The lawyer looked at them both and shook his head. He then said, “Gentlemen, I’m surprised, shocked, and ashamed of you. I don’t see how you could dare to go against that man’s final wish. I mean, I threw in my personal check for the full amount.”

Levi's at the Garage Sale
I spotted several pairs of men’s Levi’s at a garage sale. They were sizes 30, 31, and 32, but I was looking for size 33.

So I asked the owner if he had a pair.

He shook his head. “I’m still wearing the 33s,” he said. “Come back next year.”

Highway Painting
Sardar was given the job of painting the white lines down the middle of a highway.

On his first day he painted six miles; the next day three miles; the following day less than a mile.

Then the foreman asked Sardar why he kept painting less each day?

He replied, “I just can’t do any better. Each day I keep getting farther away from the paint can.”

Fried Chicken
Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken."

She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed. My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love animals very much. I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef.

Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office. I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again.

The next day in class, my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was. I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken. She sent me back to the principal's office. He laughed, and told me not to do it again.

I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am. Today, my teacher asked me to tell her what famous person I admired most.

I told her, "Colonel Sanders."

Guess where I am now ...

ABS Peanuts
An old lady offers a bus driver some peanuts. So the driver happily eats them. Every 5 minutes she hands him another handful of peanuts.

Driver: "Why don't you eat them yourself?"

Old Lady: "I can't chew look I have no teeth."

Driver: "Then why do you buy them?"

Old lady: "I just love the chocolates around them."

Have Bucket List, Will Travel...

SIMIEN MOUNTAINS NATIONAL PARK
ETHIOPIA

Found only in Ethiopia's Simien Mountains, the gelada—also called the bleeding-heart baboon, for the distinctive red patch on its chest—is the last surviving species of grazing monkey in the world. The gelada demonstrates more types of vocalization and behavior patterns than any other animal but humans.

Happy Pi Day (3.14)

TRIVIA! TRIPLE PLAY!!!

Q: What is currently the tallest building in the world?











A: The Burj Khalifa in Dubai. It stands at 2,716.5 feet tall and has more than 160 stories.

Q: What is kathisophobia?











A: The fear of sitting down.

Q: In the world of snowboarding, if you do a front flip while doing a backside 540, what trick have you done?











A: A McTwist.

Nimoy's COPD Doctor Discusses Star's Final Wish

Principal photography has started on COPD: Highly Illogical: A Special Tribute to Leonard Nimoy and we now have more footage available to share with StarTrek.com readers. The following clips feature Dr. John Belperio, who was Leonard's personal physician/pulmonologist at Ronald Reagan/UCLA Medical Center in L.A. Dr. Belperio treated Leonard during the last few months of his life and they formed a very close relationship during this period. It started in November 2014, by which time Leonard's health had been declining for the past six months, and Leonard met with Dr. Belperi based on the strong reputation of UCLA Medical Center and Dr. Belperio for treating COPD patients.

In the first clip below, we asked Dr. Belperio to recap what he discovered upon examining Leonard and running a series of tests.

In the second clip, we asked "Dr. B" -- this is what Leonard called him -- if Leonard had ever discussed with him his desire to educate and create awareness for COPD. By this point, Leonard had become a strong advocate for COPD awareness/education, which has now become known as his "Final Mission."

What is the weirdest food combination that you make?

Here are some answers from Yahoo!...

-Bacon and egg ice cream

-Balsamic vinegar lightly drizzled on vanilla ice cream. It sounds weird, but it is so good.

-I eat vegetable crackers and drink vanilla coke...but my dad likes red chile with coffee....kinda weird

-Pizza- topped with mac and cheese

-Banana sandwiches. you smash up a banana in a bowl (one that's past it's pretty yellow color and starting to brown), mix some mayo/miracle whip into it to make it creamy then spread it on bread. really, it's better than it sounds, lol.

-Cottage cheese and sliced bananas with ketchup mixed in. Sounds gross but try it, it's actually not bad at all.

-Mayo sugar sandwich. (You put the mayo on first, sprinkly some sugar, then blend it and voila.)

-Sometimes I like to dip hotdogs in yogurt. Just because we have a flavor I don't like but needs to be eaten.

-Animal crackers in applesauce. (preferably cinnamon applesauce)

-Apple wood smoked bacon chocolate bar

-Kraft Dinner with Sauerkraut a combination discovered by my partner Dwight. Weird food making can be fun! Write yours in the comments!

Here's the recipe:

This is a real taste treat!

Ingredients:

(2) Boxes Kraft Dinner
(1) Litre jar of Wine sauerkraut
(1) Tablespoon Chopped Onion
(1) Tablespoon margarine
(1) 250 ml Sour cream
Dill Weed (to taste)

Make the two boxes of KD as per the instructions, but do NOT add milk. (You need to still add margarine and the 'cheese' parts)

While the pasta is boiling, in a fry pan melt 2 TBS of margarine add the sauerkraut and onion flakes and some dill weed. Heat at med-hi without a lid, so that the moisture evaporates. Make sure you stir it so it won't burn.

When the KD is done, Add the sauerkraut mixture to the KD. Stir in well - serve. Makes 4 portions, (depending on your degree of hungriness!)

Enjoy!

VERY TALENTED

SOMEONE HAS A LOT OF TIME AND TALENT....THIS IS AWESOME. Check them all out!
You have to Click on the pictures to see them in detail full size!

Superman is a dick!

Yes.. you heard right! I said Superman is a dick. Click below to see more examples...

http://superdickery.com/

A Spell For Anxiety Relief

REMEMBER... Daylight Savings Time begins on Sunday March 13th!

Daylight Savings Begins For You.. Tomorrow.  Not here in Saskatoon, tho... We never change!

Hope you will enjoy your one less hour of sleep, poor stiffs!!! Put yer clock forward an hour if ya forgot, eh?

On August 8, 2005, President George W. Bush signed the Energy Policy Act of 2005. This Act changed the time change dates for Daylight Saving Time in the U.S. Beginning in 2007, DST is on the second Sunday of March and end the first Sunday of November. Canada followed suit, but Saskatchewan never did like ol' 'W'!!!!

Naked Pizza Surfer

by@trucktorrence, ello

Unkind Words Are Weapons

by Michael Josephson, WhatWillMatter.com

With four teenage daughters, I frequently find myself correcting, disciplining, or simply protesting unnecessary and unkind comments certain to anger or wound a sister and evoke counterattacks that fill the air with nastiness.

Hoping to get them to think before they speak in the future, I often ask, “What did you expect to accomplish by that remark?” and “Did it make things better or worse?” It rarely makes a difference.

It’s as if their instinct to express anger or utter sarcasm, accusations, and complaints is too strong to allow for wise strategies like “Think before you speak” to operate.

It disappoints and frustrates me that my children are often unkind to one another and so quick to make foolish comments that have no constructive purpose. Yet it’s even more troublesome when adults engage in the same senseless and destructive behavior.

It may be a husband’s unfiltered remark about his wife’s smothering style, a wife’s dig about her husband’s lack of energy, a parents’ comment, “That’s why you have no friends” or ‘Why can’t you be more like your brother?” or an aunt’s unwanted advice, “If you want to get married, lose weight.”

Often the content of a remark is objectively objectionable and they never should have been uttered, but tone, timing, or setting can make even seemingly harmless observations hurtful.

We have to remember that words are weapons, sometimes weapons of mass destruction.

Verbal assaulters may defend their unguided missiles with claimed innocence: “I didn’t mean it that way” when the real question is “How was the remark likely to be received?”

Another lame excuse is “I was just telling the truth,” without considering whether that truth needed to be said. Honesty does not preclude tact. It’s not a sin to have an unexpressed thought.

We may not always be able to shield ourselves from the darts and arrows of inconsiderate or mean-spirited folks, but we can resolve to be more thoughtful in our own communications.

We can be more kind more consistently. We can follow the Golden Rule and a few other age-old wisdoms like: “Think before you speak” and “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.”

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

The feminine world of Native Americans

Dedicated to all Native American women

In Bangladesh

GMB AKASH Bangladeshi Documentary Photographer Member of Panos Pictures, London Fb:facebook.com/gmbakashn

She's Got You

Best Short Story Of The Month

Two guys are drinking in a bar.



One says, "Did you know that Lions have sex 10 to 15 times a night?"



"BUGGER !" says his friend. "And I just joined Rotary....."

Lying About Books

Guilty Secrets Survey results revealed! Two thirds of people have claimed to read a book they haven’t...

• 65% of people have lied about reading a book they haven’t, with 1984 being the most popular book to pretend to have read
• 41% of respondents confess to having turned to the last page to find out what happens before finishing a book
• 96% of people admit to staying up late to finish a book



George Orwell’s 1984 tops the list of books that people pretend they have read, in a survey carried out for World Book Day 2009 to uncover the nation’s guilty reading secrets. Of the 65% who claimed to have read a book which in truth they haven’t, 42% admit to having said they had read modern classic 1984.

Those who lied have claimed to have read:

1. 1984 by George Orwell (42%)
2. War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy (31%)
3. Ulysses by James Joyce (25%)
4. The Bible (24%)
5. Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert (16%)
6. A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking (15%)
7. Midnight’s Children by Salman Rushdie (14%)
8. In Remembrance of Things Past by Marcel Proust (9%)
9. Dreams from My Father by Barack Obama (6%)
10. The Selfish Gene by Richard Dawkins (6%)

Driving while 'InTEXTicated'

The very real human consequences that can result from driving while 'InTEXTicated'.

An 18-year-old girl plowed directly into the rear of another vehicle. She was going 70 mph. She apparently never even saw them. You see, she had been texting at the time.



You can see that she hit them dead-center with no attempt to slow or evade the collision.


She hit dead-center on her 2008 Yukon SUV as well. She escaped unscathed.


There was no blowout, no wet road, no curve or hill or fog to limit visibility. This girl clearly should have been able to see the traffic conditions at least a half mile ahead had she been looking and not texting. She nearly killed a beautiful 3-year-old child?

Here's a personal look at the real human cost of texting while driving:
Griffin before the accident.



Griffen the day after 4 hours of surgery to repair multiple skull fractures. He would surely have died or been severely disabled had they not been minutes away (by StarFlight helicopter) from Austin's world-class children's Dell Children's Medical Center and neurosurgeon Dr. Timothy George.



Day 4 - watching a movie on his Dad's iPhone.
The swelling of his head will go away, but that scar from ear-to-ear will be with him forever.



Feeling better. Mmmmm - mac-n-cheese. :-)



Day 5 - feeling much better. My granddad bought me my very own iPod and loaded it with movies. Life is good .



This morning. All my tubes are finally out. I'm going home today!
Note how much the swelling has improved in just three days.




It's almost unbelievable that it's been only five days since the accident that nearly claimed his life.

All the medical experts involved expect him to make a full recovery.
Pretty soon he'll be all healed up and back to normal - thank the Lord!
In only six weeks he'll be allowed to be just as active as any other 3-year-old.



Phone company records of text messages are irrefutable and accurate to the second; so it would be an easy matter to prove in court that a person was texting at the time of an accident.. As with drunken driving, a jail sentence (no matter the driver's age) will be mandatory whenever anyone is injured by an InTEXTicated driver.

I encourage you to forward this email to all your friends. We must try to stop 'Driving While InTEXTicated' before more innocent people are maimed or killed.

Jet Turbine Engine vs A Bird....Guess who wins!

Bird vs. Jet Engine...

Below is video of an Rolls Royce engine on a test stand undergoing a 'Bird Ingestion' test. This test is accomplished by firing a bird, [generally a dead chicken complete with feathers and internal organs] at the engine. The bird's weight is a function of the inlet and fan diameter, This test is considered a success if the failure was completely contained, [i. e. No engine parts penetrated the engine cases or the aircraft cowling and there is no sustained external fire]. It does not take long for the engine to digest the bird as well as a significant number of its' own blades & vanes. The video lasts 33 seconds and the bird is fired into the engine at the 17 second mark......

Shake, Rattle, and Roll..............

Now you have some idea what the pilot of that US Air flight faced when he ingested birds into both engines simultaneously!! It also gives you a fair idea why the one engine's mounts failed after the water landing and dropped off the wing.

Your Parrot is Dead, Señor

At dawn the telephone rings, 'Hello, Señor Rod? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house.'

'Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?'

'Um, I am just calling to advise you, Señor Rod, that your parrot, he is dead'

'My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?'

'Si, Señor, that's the one.'

'Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?'

'From eating the rotten meat, Señor Rod.'

'Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?'

'Nobody, Señor. He ate the meat of the dead horse.'

'Dead horse? What dead horse?'

'The thoroughbred, Señor Rod.'

'My prize thoroughbred is dead?'

'Yes Señor Rod, he died from all that work pulling the water cart.'

'Are you insane?? What water cart?'

'The one we used to put out the fire, Señor.'

'Good Lord!! What fire are you talking about, man??'

'The one at your house, Señor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire.'

'What the hell?? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle?? !!'

'Yes, Señor Rod.'

'But there's electricity at the house! What was the candle for?'

'For the funeral, Señor Rod.'

'WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL??!!'

'Your wife's, Señor Rod', she showed up very late one night and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new tailor made R580 XD golf club.'


SILENCE . . . . . . .. . . LONG SILENCE . . . . . . . .

'Ernesto, if you broke that driver, you're in deep shit!!'

Undercompensating...

*Thanks, Gary P.