Tongyangxi (童养媳), sometimes translated as "child bride" or "adopted daughter-in-law," was a traditional marriage custom that existed in parts of China for centuries. The practice involved adopting a young girl into a family with the expectation that she would eventually marry one of the family's sons when both reached adulthood.Unlike an arranged marriage between two separate families, the girl was raised in the household of her future husband's family, often from infancy or early childhood. She would grow up alongside the boy she was intended to marry, usually under the authority of her future parents-in-law.
Why did it happen?
Tongyangxi developed for several reasons:
- Economic hardship: Poor families who struggled to feed all their children sometimes gave a daughter to a wealthier family.
- Lower marriage costs: Traditional Chinese marriages could involve significant expenses, including gifts and ceremonies. Raising a future daughter-in-law from childhood avoided many of these costs.
- Ensuring a bride: Families with young sons could secure a future wife years in advance.
- Adoption: In some cases, families without daughters welcomed the girl as another child while intending for her to marry their son later.
Life as a tongyangxi
Experiences varied considerably.
Some girls were treated as genuine members of the family, receiving food, shelter, and affection similar to the other children.
Others experienced difficult lives, including:
- Heavy household labour.
- Strict discipline.
- Limited education.
- Lower status than biological children.
- Emotional isolation.
Because the girl entered the family as a child rather than as an adult bride, the relationship between her and her future husband could become psychologically similar to that of siblings. Some researchers have suggested this contributed to lower marital attraction in adulthood.
The Westermarck effect
Anthropologists often discuss tongyangxi in connection with the Westermarck effect. This hypothesis proposes that children raised together from an early age tend to develop reduced sexual attraction toward one another later in life.
Studies of tongyangxi marriages in the 20th century found that these unions were often associated with:
- Lower marital satisfaction.
- Lower fertility.
- Higher divorce rates (where divorce was possible).
These findings became important evidence in research on human social and sexual development.
Decline of the practice
Tongyangxi declined during the 20th century for several reasons:
- Modern education.
- Urbanisation.
- Changing views on marriage.
- Legal reforms.
- Government opposition after the establishment of the People's Republic of China in 1949.
Today, the practice is illegal in China and is generally regarded as a historical custom rather than an accepted social institution.
Was it always forced?
Not necessarily. While some families entered into these arrangements voluntarily because they believed it would provide security for both children, the girl herself was usually too young to consent. Modern perspectives therefore view tongyangxi as inconsistent with contemporary principles of children's rights and free choice in marriage.
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