He said no.
A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the sunny Caribbean. They were discussing their great vacations when the lawyer said, "I'm here because my house burned down, and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything."
That is quite a coincidence," said the engineer. "I'm here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything."
The lawyer, quite puzzled, asked, "How do YOU start a flood?"
Our computers went down at work today, so we had to do everything manually...
It took me twenty minutes to shuffle the cards for solitaire.
I took my bicycle to the liquor store the other day. I got a bottle of vodka and put it in the bike's basket.
As I was about to leave, I thought to myself that if I fell the bottle would break. So, I drank all the vodka and then headed home.
It turned out to be a really good decision, because I fell nine times on my way home.
Judge: What is the prisoner charged with?
Lawyer: He is a camera enthusiast.
Judge: But you can’t put a person in jail because he is crazy about taking pictures.
Lawyer: He doesn’t take pictures, your Honor, just cameras.
"Latte" is French...
French for “you paid way too much money for coffee!”
French for “you paid way too much money for coffee!”
His wife shook her head and said, "Just don't wake me up when you get home!"
I went out for a run this morning, but I came back after a couple of minutes because I forgot something.
I forgot that I can't run for more than a couple of minutes.
I forgot that I can't run for more than a couple of minutes.
Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean's bottom.
Fun fact: Australia's biggest export is boomerangs.
It's also their biggest import.
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