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Sunday, May 31, 2020

Rules to Enter Saskatchewan

Applies to each person as they enter Saskatchewan.

Learn &remember: West Coast and Ontario-types pay particular attention!

1. Pull your droopy pants up.
You look like an idiot.

2. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road." I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

3. They are cattle &oil wells. That's what they smell like to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? Hwy #1 goes east and west, Pick one.

4. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year.

5. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of ducks are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

7. Yeah, we eat pickerel. You really want sushi &caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.

8. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.

9. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age.

10. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham.

11. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and dill.
Oh, yeah.... We don't care what you folks in Vancouver call that stuff you eat... It AINT REAL STEW!! Stew was born and bred in Saskatchewan.... and real stew never met a zuchini!

12. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

13. Curling and bowling is as important here as the Canuckss and the Senators, and a dang site more fun to watch.

14. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards - it spooks the fish.

15. Universities? Try University of Saskatchewan, University of Regina or SIAST. They come outta there with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at passing pickups when they come for the holidays.

16. Percentage wise - We have more folks in the Army, Navy, and Air Force, than any other province, so "Don't Mess with Saskatchewan" If you do, it will get you whipped by the best.

17. Always remember what a great Prime Minister once said:

"Saskatchewan can make it without the Quebec, but Quebec can't make it without Saskatchewan."

Hear! Hear! For Saskatchewan!!!

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