Stupid Is As Stupid Says...

-- ON FEBRUARY, WILD AND CRAZY --

• Beans (Dried and Fresh) Month
• February 1: Car Insurance Day
• February 8: Extraterrestrial Visitor Day
• February 10–16: Jell-O Week



-- ON SHE WAS, HOWEVER, BORN WITH SUPERB ENGINEERING SKILLS --

My mother was a woman born illiterate.

Brazilian president Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva


-- ON NO, WE'RE SAYING YOU'RE AN IDIOT --

Attorney: You're an experienced businessman; you would agree with me?

Defendant: I'm an experienced businessman in Rio Grande City, Texas.

Attorney: But your—but your breadth is larger than Rio Grande City, is it not, sir?

Defendant: Are you saying I have bad breath?

actual trial testimony


-- ON TECHNICALLY LOGICAL BUT MORONIC --

Move the deer crossing to where there's less traffic.

A lot of deer get hit by cars west of Crown Point on U.S. 231. There are too many cars to have the deer crossing here. The deer crossing sign needs to be moved to a road with less traffic.

Tim Abbott, Crown Point


-- ON COULD WE HAVE GROUNDED GEEK INSTEAD? --

COLD NOODLES

Noodles with Grounded Dork

menu item at a Chinese restaurant, Queens, New York