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Sunday, July 28, 2013

Well, it's happened: a virtual reality game you play with your penis.

Originally posted on Happy Place



I don't know what to do with my hands... fortunately that's not what we're using here.

I'm not a video game blogger, but I do enjoy being the impending-sign-of-the-apocalypse blogger every once in a while. Let's just get this out of the way: Custom Maid 3D has been letting you have virtual sex with a controller you insert your penis into since February. So, that's boring now. Insert penis, play sex game, orgasm, got it, boring. You custom design a maid (get the title now?) and have sex with her. There are even buttons on the penis controller so your hand never needs to leave the shaft.

But now it's for Oculus Rift, the first real commercially-available virtual reality game system. So, yeah: you put on glasses, there's a hot anime maid lady, and then your Ju-C Air penis controller starts responding to both of your moves. When you're done, you roll over and look at the virtual ceiling. The CEILING! And then, you take off your glasses and look at the destruction of the room you violently humped while wearing your Oculus Rift glasses.

So, there you have it. The second you finished reading that sentence was the second you moved into the era of virtual sex. Remember this moment when you are walking down a deserted city street in 8 months and no one is outside because everyone is either having virtual sex for days on end or dead from forgetting to eat while having virtual sex for days on end.

(by Johnny McNulty)

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