Giggles, Guffaws and Groaners

A guy drove to the beach and parked his car close to the water's edge - not realizing it was Low Tide - then he went for a long hike up into the mountains. During his excursion, High Tide came and then receded - completely submersing his car for a period of time in the process. When he finally returned to his car - he became very concerned when he found out that he had Tuna in his Mercury!



A teacher in a political science class asked the students, "Who is the most powerful person in the US?"

A student answered, "The First Pet?"

The teacher then asked, "Why?"

The student explained, "Because, the president kneels before him, talks to him, listens to him, follows him, prefers him to office staff, looks after his wellbeing before the voters', cancels/defers official duties in favor of him, and boards Airforce One first."



Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."

Customer: "Ok."

Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"Customer: "No."

Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"

Customer: "No."

Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"

Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote click'."



A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up. "Oh! We’ll never need that. My husband and I have a great relationship," the wife explained. "He was a communications major in college, and I majored in theater arts.

He communicates really well, and I just act like I'm listening."

Notice on the bulletin board at the wrestling arena: “There will be a rehearsal for tonight’s bout.”

An example of the new America: A brother and sister were driving to a couple stores and the conversation of buying things they needed came up. As they were talking, the sister mentioned that she needed to get a new car. The brother said, “Well, you have a college degree now, so you can go get the job that pays you more." The sister, who made between 10 and 11 dollars an hour said, “I already got the job that my college degree will get me. Now what?”