Great News

I have great news!

The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from work, "I have great news for you. Pretty soon, we're going to be three in this house instead of two."

Her husband ran to her with a smile on his face and delight in his eyes.

He was glowing of happiness and kissing his wife when she said, "I'm glad that you feel this way since tomorrow morning, my mother moves in with us."

Crazy Laws - Texas

It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.

A recently passed anti-crime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.

The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home.

It is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel.

In Austin, TX wire cutters can not be carried in your pocket.

Cops and Robbers

An elderly couple was just settled down for bed when the old man realized he left the lights on in the greenhouse in the back yard. Then they heard voices. Three men had broken into the greenhouse. Scared, they called the police.

The dispatcher replied, he would send an officer as soon as one became available as they were all out on calls. The old man waited for a few minutes and called Dispatch again. He told Dispatch, "Don't worry about sending an officer, I shot the robbers and now the dogs are eating their bodies!"

In no time at all, police were all over the place and captured the robbers red-handed! One of the cops asked the old man, "I thought you said you shot the robber and your dogs were eating them." The old man replied, "I thought you said, there weren't any officers available."

Crazy Laws - South Dakota

Movies that show police officers being struck, beaten, or treated in an offensive manner are forbidden.

No horses are allowed into Fountain Inn unless they are wearing pants.

It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep in a cheese factory.