Giggles, Guffaws, and Groaners

A man is recovering from surgery when the Surgical Nurse appears and asks him how he is feeling.

"I'm O. K. but I didn't like the four letter-words the doctor used in surgery," he answered.

"What did he say," asked the nurse.

"Oops!"



There were 3 men who were working on a bridge. One of the worker's name was John, the other one's name was Randall, and the last one's name was Joe. So one day when the 3 men were taking a lunch break, they all opened up their lunch box and saw what their wives had gave them for lunch. When John opened his lunch, he saw that he had peanut butter and jelly, so then he said, "If my wife gives me the same lunch tomorrow, I'm going to jump off this bridge. Then Randall opened his lunch and saw that he had spaghetti and meatballs. So then he also said the same thing as what John said. Then when Joe opened his lunch he saw that he was having a chicken salad. So then he said that he too was going to jump off the bridge if he got the same lunch the next day. So the next day, all 3 men had the same lunch from yesterday and they all jumped off. A week later when the funeral was scheduled, John's wife said, "If my sweetie- pie told me he wanted a new lunch, he should have told me! then Randalls wife said "Why did he do it? Why?? then Joe's wife said, "Why did he jump off the bridge? He packed his own lunch!"



What am I supposed to do with this? grumbled the motorist as the police clerk handed him a receipt for his traffic violation.

Keep it, the clerk advises. When you get four of them, you get a bicycle.



A young girl came home from a date looking sad. She told her mother, Charles proposed to me a few minutes ago.

Then why are you so sad? her mother asked.

Because he also mentioned he was an atheist. Mom, he doesnt believe theres hell!

Her mother replied, Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, well show him how wrong he is.



"Well," snarled the tough old sergeant to the bewildered private. "I suppose after you get discharged from the Army, you'll just be waiting for me to die so you can come and spit on my grave."

"Not me, Serge!" the private replied. "Once I get out of the Army, I'm never going to stand in line again!"