Very Punny!

"I was decidedly leery of the area of land set aside to house the bovines. Cow wards never accomplish anything."



The couple left the gynecologist's office with the wife in tears. They were just told that she could never become pregnant. They would never have the family they both desired so fervently.

Suddenly, a masked man appeared before them. "I think I can help you," he said, handing them a
card.

"Why are you masked?" the husband asked.

"Because the government has declared our activities illegal. Go to the address on this card. The doctor will take a scrapping from one of your mouths and culture it. In less than a year, we will have your baby for you."

"This is the answer to our prayers!" the wife exclaimed. Then she turned to thank the stranger but he was gone. "Who do you think that was?" she asked her husband who answered, "That was the Clone Arranger"



'tis better to have loved a short person than never to have loved a tall :o}



I call my dog V.O. because he's such a good licker



There were three medieval kingdoms on the shores of a lake. There was an island in the middle of the lake, over which the kingdoms had been fighting for years. Finally, the three kings decided that they would send their knights out to do battle, and the winner would take the island.

The night before the battle, the knights and their squires pitched camp and readied themselves for the fight. The first kingdom had 12 knights, and each knight had five squires, all of whom were busily polishing armor, brushing horses, and cooking food. The second kingdom had twenty knights, and each knight had 10 squires. Everyone at that camp was also busy preparing for battle. At the camp of the third kingdom, there was only one knight, with his squire. This squire took a large pot and hung it from a looped rope in a tall tree. He busied himself preparing the meal, while the knight polished his own armor.

When the hour of the battle came, the three kingdoms sent their squires out to fight (this was too trivial a matter for the knights to join in).

The battle raged, and when the dust had cleared, the only person left was the lone squire from the third kingdom, having defeated the squires from the other two kingdoms, thus proving that the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides.



My friend opened a dry-cleaning business next door to the convent. He knocked on the convent door and asked the Mother Superior if she had any dirty habits.



If you suffer from kleptomania, should you take something for it?



I'm a cruel man
I throw rocks at birds
and I leave no tern unstoned.