ON GEOGRAPHY PROBLEMS, CONTINENTAL SIZE
Family Feud host Richard Dawson: Name a country in Africa.
Contestant: South America.
ON THE NEED FOR MORE COMPUTER BOOKS FOR DUMMIES
Tech support: OK, sir, we’ll do a file search to find it. Can you please click on Start, then Find, then—
Customer: Don’t talk down to me like that! I’m not an idiot—I know what I’m doing!
Tech Support: OK, sir, please Start, then Find to do a file search.
Customer: How do I do that?
ON POLICE BLOTTER REPORTS, NOT SO THRILLING
Personnel at the Farmer’s First Bank on N. Cedar Street reported at 10:15 a.m. on May 13th the discovery of a mound of hair on May 10th.
--from the Lancaster (Pennsylvania) Intelligencer-Journal
ON BASKETBALL TEAMS, SATANIC
"Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 p.m. in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King."
--church bulletin listing
ON QUESTIONS, PRESSING
"The Queen’s speech today is unprecedented, but just how unprecedented is it?"
--broadcaster Howard Hughes, Capital FM (UK)
ON AND IF GOD HAD WANTED GOVERNORS TO MAKE GOOD POINTS...
"If God had wanted boys to wear earrings, he would have made them girls."
--Alabama governor Don Siegelman
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