Your Saturday Afternoon Eye-Opener: Weird And Disturbing Sexual Fetishes

This is by no means a complete list. But, it does shows how people can be turned on by anything. I mean- ANYTHING!

1. FORNIPHILIA

Form Of Bondage In Which A Human Is Used (Or Incorporated Into) A Piece Of Furniture. Examples Include: Human Drafting Tables, Human Lazy Suzanns, And Human Shelving (Ikeaphilia anyone?).

2. SACOFRICOSIS

The Process Of Making A Hole In One’s Pocket In Order to Facilitate Public Masturbation (“You wash those pants before I put them in the laundry!”).

3. LIQUIDOPHELIA

Arousal Contingent Upon The Submersion Of One’s Genitals In Liquid. I’m staying out of public swimming pools from now on.

4. SYMOROPHILIA

Arousal due to witnessing or staging disasters such as car accidents (as seen in the movie Crash )

5. DENDROPHILIA

Sexual interest in trees. Hippy Pervs.

6. FROTTEURISM

Rubbing against a non-consenting person to facilitate sexual stimulation- otherwise known as ‘Riding The Bus/Subway’.

7. EDERACINISM

Sexual pleasure derived from [the thought of] tearing out sexual organs by the roots. Pedophiles- you are Strongly Encouraged to develop this fetish and then follow through with it. Go on- rip it out by the roots, we’ll wait.

8. MUCOPHILIA

exual pleasure related to mucus (e.g. the consumption of). You would’ve been in Heaven here when I had the flu. I was a mucus factory. On second thought- Fucking EW!!!!

9. AUTONEPIOPHILIA ( Infantalism)

Sexual pleasure derived from dressing as (or imagining oneself as) an infant. Ladies- use your own ‘men’ jokes here. It’s just too easy.

10. GERONTOPHILIA

Sexual preference for the elderly (uh-ya… particularly the filthy rich ones, right?).

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