The Love Doctor

Dear Love Doctor,

I recently broke up with my live in boyfriend 2 months ago because he wasn't interested in marrying me. I have since found another guy who I think is way cool. I want to get married but I don't want to tell my family as I don't know what they will think of him. The first time they (my family), saw him, they rather grilled him over the coals - asking things like "how many jobs have you had?" This was after I told them he worked with me - so they kept asking all these questions. Well I told someone that we were getting married and that I wasn't going to tell my family - and word came back to my sister! Wow! Did she ever fly off the handle! She blasted me for even thinking about doing this without telling her. I think it's none of her business.

My question for you is am I being selfish in keeping this from my family? Or are they just nosing in where they don't belong?


Signed,

Going to the Chapel

Dear Chapel,

Hmmm. Methinks this may be more about protecting you rather than about meddling into your personal life. I am sure that your family has your best interests at heart. You say that you just broke up with your boyfriend just 2 months ago? Then you may be 'on the rebound'. You are likely trying to fill the void created by leaving your boyfriend. You may not be thinking clearly. Does your family know anything about your prospective hubby to be? If not, then that is a sign that you need to include them in your plans. Let them get to know him, and they will realize (as you will), if his love for you is true -- he will wait until you have your past relationship settled in your mind.

My advice to you, my dear, is to wait it out. Date (heck - even move in together!)... if after a time, you still want this guy, then that would be when you tell the relatives of your plans. If you do this prematurely, they will likely think that you haven't thought this through and will likely balk again.

True love does not die in a year. If yours is true, he will be there and your family will likely understand that you wanna tie the knot.

Hope this helps.

Yrs,

The Love Doctor

--Send your questions about love to "The Love Doctor" directly from 'OZ' - The 'Other' Side of the Rainbow! I have added an email link that goes direct to The Love Doctor - this will enable quicker responses from him. You can do this by clicking on his picture in the sidebar and put your question in the email. This will ensure that The Love Doctor gets your question. The Love Doctor forwards his replies to me for posting consideration. Note: Due to the high volume of letters that The Love Doctor receives, not all letters will be posted on 'OZ' - but the Love Doctor will reply to every email. (so he says)