Saturday, July 07, 2007

Right Now


Right Now

Quick Takes


THE NERVE:

Did you know that in the human body is a nerve that connects the eyeball to the anus?

It is called the anal optic nerve. It is responsible for giving people a shitty outlook on life.

If you don't believe it, pull a hair from your ass, and see if it doesn't bring a tear to your eye.

THE DIFFERENCE:

What is the difference between a sewing machine and a lady jogging?

A sewing machine only has one bobbin.


I.Q. Test


Now don't cheat. After you do the test... THEN click for the answers.

Bonus points if you don't use a pen on yer screen!


Click here for the answers.

100 Bonus points if you did not use a pen to write the answers on your monitor screen!


OH Canada!!


Oh, Canada!

You Can Be A Poet


And Not Even No-It! Go to: WriteExpress Online Rhyming Dictionary.

SCIENTISTS FIND METAL IN RAT CAGES CAUSES CANCER IN LABORATORY RATS- ALL SCIENTIFIC DATA UP UNTIL NOW WORTHLESS


Skinner Box

Baltimore -- Scientists at the National Institute of Health confirmed today that the metal in rat cages does indeed cause cancer in laboratory animals.

At a mid-afternoon NIH press conference Dr. Ronald Jam reflected the sentiment of his beleaguered colleagues. "Apparently by brushing up against the cages the little bastards contact cancer of all types. We thought about everything…we just never thought about the cages. I mean, this was a lot of work, and now it's all gone, just like that. Twenty-three years, two ex-wives, and five kids who wont talk to me? And for what? To start all over again? My whole life's down the crapper." At that point Dr. Jam broke into a low resonating howl of utter frustration and was led away from the briefing by an unidentified member of the nursing staff.

"Yeah, this could be a problem with the research data alright," said Dr. Erwin Burnbaum, Director of The Foundation for All Scientific Data. "Sure didn't see this one coming. Nope." Burnbaum confirmed that all scientific data up until now was rendered worthless by the recent findings.



*Creeping tabloidism online newspaper satire...The Newz.com

Is Your Work Email Really Yours?


Do you typically email your significant other at least half a dozen times during the average workday? Most of the time, these messages are one line gripes about the drudgery of our jobs, occasional amusing stories about how our day is going, and sometimes a brief steamy or romantic thought that we want to share with each other. Harmful behavior to anyone? Nope. Detrimental to job productivity? Not really. We only email when we have a free moment or two. Dangerous to us? Not so far.

I say not so far because if you do this using your work email accounts, read on.... Millions of people have an email account provided as part of their job. Almost everyone uses a work email account to communicate with coworkers, clients, vendors, or others for work-related tasks. However, almost everyone also uses them to email friends, family, lovers, and other random people. Is there anything wrong with that practice? That’s up to the employer and IT department.

However, it is worth considering that many companies maintain the legal right to monitor employee emails. This gives the IT department the legal right to read any email an employ receives or, perhaps more importantly, sends. And for what it’s worth at least one or two members of any IT depart have the ability to monitor email regardless of whether they have been granted permission. This is why when job hunting, it’s a good idea to not use a work email account. (Even Hotmail and such can be monitored as the IT department can view the messages with software that most of them have... by the way...ALL pictures are saved to the local hard drive and also on the server ...in the IT room!..suitable for easy viewing... this I know as I and another administrator were monitoring a senior executive's surfing habits - can you say "dangerous"? Sure! I knew you could!). The first clue is the clicking of the server hard drives when logging on for the day... remember your profiles are stored on the server, and have to be loaded on your machine! Oh, and don't even get me going if your company uses either Citrix or Windows Terminal Server! (The logon screen will tell you that.)

Big Brother IS Watching!


Is this right, fair, or just? We can debate that endlessly. Suffice it to say that there is a privacy issue at stake. However, it is a work-related email account being accessed on a company-owned computer. And the practice should be stated (if only in fine print up front). But more importantly, the fact is that this is common practice.

What’s the moral of this tale? Think before you use your work email account out of convenience. Would you be comfortable with your boss or someone else in your company reading the email you plan to write? In my case, I can easily say that I would (because I've worked in the IT department and know the people who are capable of monitoring my email, and because I live in a country that has made it illegal to fire someone on the basis of sexual orientation... but they will fire you for 'miss-using company email!). Don't say that you haven't been warned.

Brain Teasers


Try them first, then if you give up... Click on the picture of the brain:

Number 1:

Can You Solve It?

10, 4, 3, 11, 15...

What number is next?

a) 14
b) 1
c) 17
d) 12

Number 2:

Can You Solve It?

AALLLOUGNINCEACELSSSEANRYTELNETCTEERS

If you cross out all unnecessary letters in the above string of letters, a logical sentence will remain. Can you read what it says?

Number 3:

Can You Solve It?

Imagine you are in a sinking rowboat surrounded by great white sharks. How would you survive?



Click on the brain for the answers

Ever wonder?


"Why is it that when people speak to God, They are praying... but when God speaks to people, they are 'nuts'?"



--Monica, 'Touched by an Angel', 2003

Thursday, July 05, 2007

The New "Safe Drug" - Kitten Huffing


Kitten Huffing



Kitten huffing is a controversial practice that has recently been growing as a popular and healthy alternative to street drugs.

Click above

A Lesson in Witchcraft


Click below to go!

Does This symbol scare you? It shouldn't....
Click here to find out why.

An Ode to Happy is Happy


Happy is being loved
Being warm and full
Being satiated with the joy
That comes from love
It is the heat of the heart
The smell of warm food for the mind
For the body, for the soul
It is knowing you are wanted
It is knowing the future will be good
It is the eternal state of bliss



Happy!

MAD TV The Wizard of OZ - Alternate Ending



Riddle Me This!


What is this?



What is This??
Riddle me this! -Answer. Click here

Click above for the answer.

Fast facts


Scottish inventor John Logie Baird gave the first public demonstration of television in 1926 in Soho, London. Ten years later there were only 100 TV sets in the world.

Today there are almost a billion TV sets in the world.

China has the most TV sets (200 million).

US citizens watch the most TV. By age 65, an American would have watched the equivalent of 9 years uninterrupted screening, viewing more than 20,000 TV commercials per year.

In the US there are more TV sets than telephones.

The first TV interview was made with Irish actress Peggy O'Neil in April 1930.

The first daily broadcast was started by the BBC in November 1936.

The first TV commercial was a 20-second ad for a Bulova clock, broadcasted by WNBT, New York during a game between the Brooklyn Dodgers and the Philadelphia Phillies in July 1941.Bulova paid $9 for that first TV spot. Bulova also was the first watch in space.

The first regular TV soap was DuMont TV's A Woman to Remember, which began its run in February 1947.

The first televised sporting event was a Japanese elementary school baseball game, broadcast in September 1931.

The world's first TV news helicopter was introduced by KTLA Channel 5 in Los Angeles on 4 July 1958.

In "Father of the Bride", Annie and Bryan marry on January 6. But in the opening montage of "Father of the Bride 2" there is a framed invitation of their wedding which states that they were married on October 9.

Towards the end of the Forrest Gump, Forrest narrates that his wife died on a Saturday. When he is at her grave in the next scene, the tomb stone shows her passing on March 22, 1982, which is a Monday.
On which day of the week were you born?

STAR TREK's Captain James T. Kirk's middle name is Tiberius.

The largest movie theatre in the world, Radio City Music Hall in New York, opened in 1932 - it seats almost 6,000 people.

The first film animation was "Humorous Phases of Funny Faces" made in 1906 by American J. Stuart Blacton.

In 1919, 18-year-old Walt Disney teamed up with Ub Iwerks, to produce a series of cartoons entitled "Alice in Cartoonland."

The Walt Disney company was founded in 1923, and in 1927 Walt came up with the idea for an animated mouse called Mortimer Mouse. His wife Lillian convinced him to change it to Mickey Mouse.

In 1937 Disney won a special Oscar for the first full-length animation: "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs."

Bill Hanna and Joe Barbera, created Tom and Jerry in 1939.

The first Best Picture Oscar for an animation was awarded in 1991 for Disney's Beauty and the Beast.

Mel Blanc, who played the voice of Bugs Bunny, was allergic to carrots.

Jack Mercer was the voice of Popeye the Sailor for 45 years.

The video recording machine was invented by the Ampex corporation of California in 1956. The first video recorder, the Ampex VR1000, stood 1,1 m (3 ft 3 in) high and weighed as much as a small car: 665 kg (1,466 lb).

The home video recorder was introduced in 1972 by Philips of the Netherlands.

Japanese company JVC introduced the VHS system in 1976.

About 80% of VCRs are made by Japanese companies.

The first pop video was Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen, released in 1975.

On average, a movie makes about 5 times more from its video sales than ticket takings.

About one quarter of movie videos sold are animations.

In the 1926 film version of Don Juan actor Lionel Barrymore set the record for the most kisses ever in a single film. Barrymore embraced Mary Astor and Estelle Taylor 127 times.

The longest kiss in a movie is in Andy Warhol's Kiss. Rufus Collins and Naomi Levine kissed for the entire 50 minutes of the movie.

The first porn movie was the 1908 Fench film al'Ecu d'or oula bonne auberge.

The first movie to use sound was "The Jazz Singer," released in 1927: the first words, spoken by Al Jolson, were: "Wait a minute, you ain't heard nothing yet."

The 1967 Russian movie War and Peace had 120,000 extras. The South Korean movie Monster Wang-magwi from the same year featured 157,000 extras. The 1945 German movie Kolberg had 187,000 and the movie with the most extras, the 1982 British movie Gandhi, featured 300,000 extras.


*Fast Facts

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

The Riddle


Click here for the answer

Click above for the answer

Oh h hh h h, Yew Wascally Goooogle Yew!!!


Oh You Wascally Goooogle Yew!!!

Click here to see the proof.

George Bush Jokes:


The Best Ones

George Bush jokes are plentiful on the web. Most George Bush jokes that you can find by random searching, however, are not very funny. A person would often have to read 50 Bush jokes to find a funny one. So I read probably hundreds of George Bush jokes, and in my opinion, these are the 5 best George Bush jokes.

George Bush Jokes #1:
While visiting England, George Bush is invited to tea with the Queen. He asks her what her leadership philosophy is. She says that it is to surround herself with intelligent people.

Bush asks how she knows if they're intelligent.

"I do so by asking them the right questions," says the Queen. "Allow me to demonstrate."

Bush watches as the Queen phones Tony Blair and says, "Mr. Prime Minister, please answer this question: your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?"

Tony Blair responds, "It's me, ma'am."

"Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says the Queen. She hangs up and says, "Did you get that, Mr. Bush?"

Bush nods: "Yes ma'am. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!"

Bush, upon returning to Washington, decides he'd better put the Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to the test. Bush summons Jesse Helms to the White House and says, "Senator Helms, I wonder if you can answer a question for me."

"Why, of course, sir. What's on your mind?"

Bush poses the question: "Uhh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

Helms hems and haws and finally asks, "Can I think about it and get back to you?"

Bush agrees, and Helms leaves. He immediately calls a meeting of other senior Republican senators, and they puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer. Finally, in desperation, Helms calls Colin Powell at the State Department and explains his problem.

"Now lookee here, son, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

Powell answers immediately, "It's me, of course."

Much relieved, Helms rushes back to the White House, finds George Bush, and exclaims, "I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It's Colin Powell!"

And Bush replies in disgust, "Wrong, you dumb sh*t, it's Tony Blair!"


George Bush Jokes #2
In the light of all the criticism that George Bush is an idiot, the Republicans decide to hold a "George Bush Is Not Stupid" convention. Eighty thousand Republicans meet in the Kansas City Chiefs Stadium.
Trent Lott says, "We are all here today to prove to the world that George Bush is not stupid. So ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce President George Bush."

After the cheers die down. Lott says "Mr. President, we're going to prove to the world once and for all that you are not stupid. So tell us, what is 15 plus 15?"

Bush, after scrunching up his face and concentrating real hard for a moment, declares, "Eighteen!"

Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then the 80,000 Republicans start cheering, "Give Bush another chance! Give Bush another chance!"

Trent Lott says, "Well since we've gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you in one place, I guess we can do that." So he asks, "What is 5 plus 5?"

After nearly 30 seconds of chin-rubbing and grimacing, Bush meekly asks "Ninety?"

Trent Lott is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh -- everyone is disheartened.

But then Bush starts pouting, and suddenly the 80,000 Republicans begin to yell and wave their hands, shouting again "Give Bush another chance! Give Bush another chance!"

Lott, unsure whether he's doing more harm than good, eventually says, "Ok! Ok! Just one more chance -- What is 2 plus 2?"

Bush looks down, counts on his fingers, and after a whole minute, proudly announces "Four."

A moment of total silence, then an electric charge surges through the stadium as pandemonium breaks out.

All 80,000 Republicans jump to their feet.

These GOP partisans start to wave their arms, stomp their feet and create a deafening roar:

"GIVE BUSH ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE BUSH ANOTHER CHANCE!"


George Bush Jokes #3
A country doctor is suturing a laceration on the hand of an old farmer.

Old man: "All you need to know about politics is that young George Bush is a post turtle."

Doctor: "Oh? What is a post turtle?"

Old man: "When yer driving down a country road, and ya come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top? That's a post turtle. Ya know he didn't get there by himself, he don't belong there, he cain't get anything done while he's up there, and you just want to help take the poor thang down."


George Bush Jokes #4
George Bush, Albert Einstein and Pablo Picasso have all died. Due to a glitch in the celestial time-space continuum, all three arrive at the Pearly Gates more or less simultaneously, even though their deaths have taken place decades apart. The first to present himself to Saint Peter is Einstein. Saint Peter questions him.

"You look like Einstein, but you have no idea the lengths certain people will go to, to sneak into Heaven under false pretenses. Can you prove who you really are?"

Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, "Could I have a blackboard and some chalk?" Saint Peter complies with a snap of his fingers. The blackboard and chalk instantly appear.

Einstein proceeds to describe with arcane mathematics and symbols his special theory of relativity. Saint Peter is suitably impressed.

"You really are Einstein! Welcome to heaven!"

The next to arrive is Picasso. Once again Saint Peter asks for his credentials. Picasso doesn't hesitate. "Mind if I use that blackboard and chalk?" Saint Peter says, "Go ahead."

Picasso erases Einstein's scribbles and proceeds to sketch out a truly stunning mural. Bulls, satyrs, nude women: he captures their essences with but a few strokes of the chalk. Saint Peter claps.

"Surely you are the great artist you claim to be! Come on in!"

The last to arrive is George Bush. Saint Peter scratches his head. "Einstein and Picasso both managed to prove their identity. How can you prove yours?"

Bush looks bewildered, "Who are Einstein and Picasso?"

Saint Peter sighs, "Come on in, George."


George Bush Jokes #5
George Bush and Dick Cheney are talking, when Bush suddenly complains "I hate all the dumb George Bush jokes people tell about me."

Cheney, feeling sorry for his "boss," says "Oh, they're only jokes. There are a lot of truly stupid people out there. Here, I'll prove it to you."

Cheney takes Bush outside and hails a cab.

"Please take me to 29 Nickel Street to see if I'm home," says Cheney. The cab driver, without saying a word, drives them to 29 Nickel Street.

Cheney looks at Bush and says, "See! This guy is really stupid."

George Bush agrees. "He really is a dummy. There was a pay phone just around the corner. You could have called instead."


*The Rational Radical

Poetry Of Wizard Of Oz - A Young Child's Poem


Dorothy lived with her Aunt Em and her uncle Henry Down in Kansas
She liked to drive around with her black Benzes
But one day the tornado hit her town taking her and her house
It whorled her round and round including the house

When she landed she was welcomed by little friendly people called munchkins
They reminded her of her ol’ grandpa Hunchkins
Then a Good Witch came up to her and said "Welcome and thank you for killing the Wicked Witch of the East!"
Dorothy was tripin’ cause she never killed no Witch especially one from the east

But it turned out that her house did, So the good Which gave Dorothy to wear a pair of ruby slippers made by Holks
So she wore them and said “Now how do I get home back to my home and my folks?”
And the Witch told her to follow the road into the Emerald world and get help from the Wizard of OZ

So Dorothy was on her way to meet a Wizard, who's From OZ
As Dorothy was joggin the road a scarecrow called “Where are you going off to?”
Which Dorothy gladly answered “I’m off to see the Wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Oz and you?”

Scarecrow answered “I’m off to see the Wizard to ask him for a brain”
So Dorothy said “ We can go together to explore the new terrain”
As the two skipped along the road a tin man called out “Please oil me!”
So Dorothy quickly oiled the tin man’s joints and said “You are very clumsy”

Dorothy told the tin man about their voyage and so the tin man...

Dorothy told the tin man about their voyage and so the tin man said “Oh then ill come too and ask the Wizard for a heart”
And then out of nowhere jumped out a lion who wasn’t very smart

Then he began to cry “Dogs scare me, I'm such a coward”
So Dorothy suggested “Why don’t you come and ask the Wizard for courage so u wont be like my uncle Howard”
Thus there was four hopeful creatures jogging toward Emerald city ...

Weird Tales From Around The World


A first division football match in Moldova was called off after a disputed penalty. The chairman of one of the teams drove his car on the pitch and tried to mow down the referee.

Police received a tip that $70,000 stolen from a casino in Louisiana had been thrown in a river and found notes woven into a beaver's dam. They were undamaged.

A man who lost £200 in a fruit machine at a Rochdale motorway service station tried to get his money back by burning a hole in the machine. The ensuing blaze caused £7 million of damage.

The last native speaker of Nushu, a 400-year-old language, has died in southern China. The language was spoken only by women.

An Iranian wife asked a court to restrict her husband to beating her only once a week instead of every day. She said she loved him; he said "If I don't beat her she will not be scared enough to obey me."

The M61 motorway in Lancashire was blocked after a four-car pile-up. All the cars were driven by police officers on a training exercise.

The Association of Burial Authorities has launched a competition seeking ideas on how to stop cemeteries being dull.

A spinster from Edinburgh, who died aged 95, left several charities £30,000 each. She chose organisations whose collectors said "Thank you" when she dropped coins in their boxes.

A man shooting a litter of puppies in Florida had to be taken to hospital. One of his intended victims kicked the gun's trigger and shot him in the arm.

At the Sydney Olympic Games extra shipments of condoms had to be sent to the competitors' village as supplies ran out. This year in Greece the British team has asked for more Weetabix.

A boy of 15 months who went into a coma after getting his head stuck in a bucket of water had his life-support machine switched off at a hospital in Cambridge. Seconds later he coughed and started breathing unaided.

A car dealer in Berlin let a couple test drive the new BMW 5. They drove it 4,000 miles to Spain and back.

Armed robbers fled empty-handed from a warehouse raid near Coventry. They filled bags so ful lof coins they couldn't lift them.

An operator handling emergency telephone calls in Maryland, US, fell asleep while taking report of a burglary. A tape of the call recorded the operator snoring.

Women over 60 at Black Sea resorts in Romania are being told not to sunbathe topless. Police said it was "ugly" and likely to deter tourists.

Artist Tom Bloor spent nine hours pasting pop-art wallpaper over a walkway in Birmingham. Then the council which had awarded more than £2.1 million to promote inner-city culture mistook it for fly-posting and stripped it all off.

A railway signalman in Essen, Grmany, trapped for hours in his office by a Staffordshire terrier, has claimed overtime for his ordeal.

A German woman furious after a row with her husband decided to smash up his car. After doing £650 worth of damage, it became clear that she had attacked her nighbour's Opel Corsa. Her husband drives a Ford Fiesta.

A burglar was caught in San Francisco after his 73-year-old victim insisted on showing him her family photo album. He was so bored he fell asleep and she called the police.

A police superintendent in Kent, UK, was called away from giving a lecture on crime prevention to comfort his distressed wife. She had returned home to find they had been burgled.

Prince Abdullah of Jordan, the uncle of King Abdullah II, attended the state funeral of Ronald Reagan in Washington. He returned home to Amman with 14 Domino pizzas.

A villager in Tanzania killed a lion that had earlier killed his wife. He left the remains of her body near the lion's den laced with poison.

A detective detained for drink driving is suing his own South Yorkshire police force for £100,000. He claims that the officers who arrested him beat him up.

A dog in Florida has had liposuction. The chihuahua named Pumpkin had three quarters of a pound of fat removed from her hips.

--more--


*Huddersfield One

TROY - The Latest Strip


Click Above Then choose 'Current Strip'

Click Above Then choose 'Current Strip'.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

CHINESE PROVERBS


Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who run in front of car get tired.

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Man who run behind car get exhausted.

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Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.

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Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.

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Man with one chopstick go hungry.

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Man who scr atch ass should not bite fingernails.

* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.

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Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.

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Panties not best thing on earth! But next to best thing on earth.

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War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.

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Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.

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Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

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It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.

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Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.

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Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

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Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

*~*~*~*~*~! *~*~*~*~*

Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.

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Man who fart in church sit in own pew.

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Crowded elevator smell different to midget.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


*Thanks, Rimsky!

See what 50 years will do.


Scenario: Jack pulls into school parking lot with rifle in gun rack.

1956 - Vice Principal comes over, takes a look at Jack's rifle, goes to his car and gets his to show Jack.

2006 - School goes into lockdown, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.




Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.

1956 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up best friends. Nobody goes to jail, nobody arrested, nobody expelled.

2006 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.




Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.

1956 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by Principal. Sits still in class.

2006 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability.




Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his father's car and his Dad gives him a whipping.

1956 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.

2006 - Billy's Dad is arrested for child abuse Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. Billy's sister is told by state psychologist that she remembers being abused herself and their Dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.




Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some headache medicine to school.

1956 - Mark shares headache medicine with Principal out on the smoking dock.

2006 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.




Scenario: Pedro fails high school English.

1956 : Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.

2006 : Pedro's cause is taken up by state democratic party. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he can't speak English.




Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed ..

1956 - Ants die.

2006 - BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.




Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary, hugs him to comfort him.

1956 - In a short time Johnny feels better and goes on playing.

2006 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison.


*Thanks, Pam

Bounce Sheeets


The US Postal service sent out a message to all letter carriers to put a sheet of Bounce in their uniform pockets to keep yellow-jackets away.

Use them all the time when playing baseball and soccer. It really works? The yellow jackets just veer around you.

1. All this time you've just been putting Bounce in the dryer! It will chase ants away when you lay a sheet near them. It also repels mice.

2. Spread sheets around foundation areas, or in trailers, or cars that are sitting and it keeps mice from entering your vehicle.

3. It takes the odor out of books and photo albums that don't get opened too often.

4. It repels mosquitoes. Tie a sheet of Bounce through a belt loop when outdoors during mosquito season.

5. Eliminate static electricity from your television (or computer) screen.

6. Since Bounce is designed to help eliminate static cling, wipe your television screen with a used sheet of Bounce to keep dust from resettling.

7. Dissolve soap scum from shower doors. Clean with a sheet of Bounce.The Many Uses Of Bounce

8. To freshen the air in your home - Place an individual sheet of Bounce in a drawer or hang in the closet.

9. Put Bounce sheet in vacuum cleaner.

10. Prevent thread from tangling. Run a threaded needle through a sheet of Bounce before beginning to sew.

11. Prevent musty suitcases. Place an individual sheet of Bounce inside empty luggage before storing.

12. To freshen the air in your car - Place a sheet of Bounce under the front seat.

13. Clean baked-on foods from a cooking pan. Put a sheet in a pan, fill with water, let sit overnight, and sponge clean. The anti-static agent apparently weakens the bond between the food and the pan.

14. Eliminate odors in wastebaskets. Place a sheet of Bounce at the bottom of the wastebasket.

15. Collect cat hair. Rubbing the area with a sheet of Bounce will magnetically attract all the loose hairs.

16. Eliminate static electricity from Venetian blinds. Wipe the blinds with a sheet of Bounce to prevent dust from resettling.

17. Wipe up sawdust from drilling or sand papering. A used sheet of Bounce will collect sawdust like a tack cloth.

18. Eliminate odors in dirty laundry. Place an individual sheet of Bounce at the bottom of a laundry bag or hamper.

19. Deodorize shoes or sneakers. Place asheet of Bounce in your shoes or sneakers overnight.

20. Golfers put a Bounce sheet in their back pocket to keep the bees away.

21. Put a Bounce sheet in your sleeping bag and tent before folding and storing them. It will keep them smelling fresh.


*Thanks, Daryn

Tick Warning --- IMPORTANT


I hate it when people forward bogus warnings, and I have even done it myself a couple times unintentionally...but this one is real, and it's important. So please send this warning to everyone on your e-mail list.


If someone comes to your front door saying they are checking for ticks due to the warm weather and asks you to take your clothes off and dance around with your arms up, DO NOT DO IT!! THIS IS A SCAM!! They only want to see you naked.

I wish I'd gotten this yesterday. I feel so stupid.


*Thanks, Daryn

Speeding


GOT STOPPED FOR SPEEDING THE OTHER DAY.

I THOUGHT I COULD TALK MY WAY OUT OF IT UNTIL THE COP LOOKED AT MY DOG IN THE BACK SEAT.






Sign You're Driving Too Fast........



Sign that you are speeding!
*Thanks, Daryn

Sunday, July 01, 2007

Happy Canada Day, Eh?


Happy Canada Day
Click above to find out why!

Note that the HBC is now owned by the USA...