Moderates Propose Increased Browsing Privileges
WASHINGTON, DC—In another salvo in the ongoing civil-rights battle, the Gay And Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation announced the formation of a broad new campaign supporting full library-card privileges for homosexuals. 
The time for gay people to be granted equal access to our public lending-libraries is long past due," GLAAD Fairness In Book Borrowing Campaign co-chair Elaine Thomas, a self-described committed lesbian and avid reader, said at a press conference outside the Library of Congress Monday. "We are demanding the same opportunity to select, borrow, and return library books—without regard to subject matter or Dewey decimal number—that any other American has. We are talking about a fundamental right."
GLAAD's announcement comes on the heels of a controversial decision in December by a Hawaii librarian to allow a gay Honolulu resident, Dean Farlaine, 47, to check out three books, which prompted strong protests from proponents of traditional library values. In response to the controversy, the Third Court Of Appeals reversed the card-granting decision. Further complicating the growing legal entanglements, Farlaine has reportedly been too intimidated by the periodic demonstrations outside the library to return the books.
Leaders of the library-cards-for-gays movement, who say some 10 million homosexual citizens are forced to check out books from a loose network of underground libraries each year, liken their plight to American women's long and historic struggle for borrowing privileges. Women were first issued library cards in 1936.
But opponents say the prospect of same-sex book-borrowing endangers the moral fiber of the country's most sacred reading traditions.
"What's next—gay people at the DMV, being granted licenses to drive cars?" Rev. Brian Peters of Verona, WI said. "Will we be soon seeing gays and lesbians at our local post offices, being sold stamps and mailing packages? We must protect our nation's public institutions from relentless encroachment by those who threaten our values."
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*The Onion
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