In the Beginning
Adam to Eve: "You think THAT'S a serpent..."
Noah: "I've got an ark that'll make you flood!"
Ancient Egypt
"Let me guess...your name is Sandy?"
"The Great Pyramid, the Sahara, the Nile, me...get the picture?"
"You must be the eighth wonder of the world!"
Roman Empire
"If I could change the alphabet, I would put 'V' and 'I' together."
"Your palace looks like it could use a sturdy column."
"You could set any chariot on fire!"
Ye Dark Ages
"The plague is devouring me alive! Won't you?"
"Ignorance is bliss and so art thee."
"Got a light?"
Puritan Lust
"My heart burns like a witch for you."
"I've got the 'thanks' ready, if you'll do the 'giving.'"
"Lucky church pew..."
The Civil War
"United we stand, divided we fall...catch my drift?"
"Oh, fiddle-de-de, Scarlett...I insist..."
(Southern belles only) "Won't you be my love slave?"
20th Century Foxes
Prohibition--"Can I buy you a...uh...ginger ale?"
The Great Depression
"Unlike the stock market, I never crash at my peak."
World War II
"Baby, you're The Bomb!"
Cold War
"My heart beats red like a Communist for you."
1950s
"You Betty me Archie!"
Vietnam
"You just got drafted for my army, baby."
Civil Rights/Age of Aquarius
"Free love at last! Thank God almighty, free love at last!" (Comeback: "Keep having a dream, dude.")
Disco Era
"There's nothing leisurely about this suit..."
1980s
"Well, Run my DMC!"
1990s
"You CAN touch this!"
It Takes 2000
2000--"I'll make you dot com!"
"My name is Chad--and yes, I'm hung."
"Don't be blue! I'll put you in a red state of desire."
2001
"Your pink slip is showing...and I like it!"
"Make like a jet and penetrate my towers."
"United we stand. Hey?"
2002
"Sharks aren't the only warm-blooded creatures looking for a bite in these waters, if you catch my drift..."
"I'm a love sniper and I've got YOU in my crosshairs!"
"Bush is in these days. Yow!"
2003
"Nice Iraq!"
"Care to accomplish my mission?"
"Today's color-alert level is passion purple!"
2004
"You could be my personal halftime show."
"Well, Passion my Christ!"
"My boat is very swift, and that's the truth."
2005
"Blow me away, Katrina."
"Dubya may hate black people, but you'll never go back!"
"I-I-I-I-I...I'm hooked on a FEMA!"
2006
"Are you legal? Let me cross your border!"
"Hi! My name is not K-Fed."
"I'm Dick. Can I shoot you in the face?"
*Ian McGibboney, Not Right About Anything
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