A guy out on the golf course took a high speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he fell to the ground. As soon as he could manage, he took himself to the doctor.
He said, "How bad is it, Doc?..... I'm going on my honeymoon next week and my fiancée is still a virgin - in every way."
The doctor told him, "I'll have to put your willie in a splint to let it heal and keep it straight. It should be okay next week."
He took four tongue depressors and formed a neat 4 sided splint, and taped it all together; an impressive work of art.
The guy mentioned none of this to his girl, married her, and went on their honeymoon. That night in the hotel room, she ripped open her blouse to reveal her beautiful breasts.
She said, "You're the first; no one has EVER touched these."
He immediately dropped his pants and replied, "Look at this, ... still in the CRATE!"
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