Welcome to 'OZ' - The 'Other' Side of the Rainbow!! Posting is at 10AM, Noon and 2PM CST daily. Up to 12 days of posts on the main page. The archives have more. You can forward posts by clicking on the envelope at the bottom of the post. Enjoy your stay! *** If you need to contact me, or have a copyright issue, please use the "Contact The Wizard" form on the left side of 'OZ'. Original source and author is cited and credited in each post where possible. ***
Thursday, December 26, 2019
The 4-11 - "Boxing Day"
Boxing Day, December 26th, is a public holiday in the United Kingdom, Australia (excluding South Australia), Canada, New Zealand and countries in the Commonwealth of Nations with a mainly Christian population. It is based on the tradition of giving gifts to the less fortunate members of society. Contemporary Boxing Day in many countries is now a "shopping holiday" associated with after-Christmas sales. This day is historically England's name for St Stephen's Day - St. Stephen was one of the first Christian martyrs, being stoned to death in Jerusalem around A.D. 34-35 - the 26th December, which is a public holiday in most countries in Europe and many countries around the world with predominantly Christian populations. In the Eastern Orthodox Church, St Stephen's Day is celebrated on the 27th of December, although in Greece the Greek Boxing Day (Synaxis Theotokou, Σύναξις Θεοτόκου) is also celebrated as a public holiday on the 26th of December and is not related to the English version. In Ireland the Bank Holidays Act 1871 established the feast day of St. Stephen's Day as a non-moveable public holiday on December the 26th, although since partition the name "Boxing Day" is used by the authorities in Northern Ireland and it has become a moveable public holiday in line with the rest of the UK. The Banking and Financial Dealings Act of 1971 established "Boxing Day" as a public holiday in Scotland. In the Australian state of South Australia, December the 26th is a public holiday known as Proclamation Day. It is usually celebrated on the 26th of December, the day after Christmas Day; however, unlike St Stephen's Day, Boxing Day is not always on the 26th of December, its associated public holiday can be moved to the next weekday if the 26th of December is a Saturday or Sunday. The movement of Boxing Day varies between countries. OriginsBoxing Day dates back to past centuries when it was the custom for the wealthy to give gifts to employees or to people in a lower social class, most especially to household servants and other service personnel. The name has numerous folk etymologies.
As with Christmas itself, some elements of Boxing Day are also likely related to, and ultimately derived from, the ancient Roman Saturnalia, which also had elements of gift giving and social role reversal.
DateIn the countries that observe this holiday, 26 December is commonly referred to as Boxing Day, no matter what day of the week it occurs. However, in some countries, fixed-date holidays falling on Saturday or Sunday are often observed on the next weekday. Technically, Boxing Day cannot be on a Sunday - that day being the officially recognized day of worship, so traditionally it was the next working day of the week following Christmas Day, (i.e. any day from Monday to Saturday). In recent times this tradition has been either forgotten or ignored, and 26 December is considered by most to be Boxing Day when it falls on a Sunday. 1993 was the last year when 26 December was called Christmas Sunday in the UK; in 1999, the next time the date fell on a Sunday, it was Boxing Day.
If Boxing Day falls on a Saturday, then Monday 28 December is declared a public holiday. In the United Kingdom and some other countries this is accomplished by Royal Proclamation. In some Canadian provinces, Boxing Day is a statutory holiday and is always celebrated on 26 December. As with most statutory holidays in Canada if it falls on a Saturday or Sunday, compensation days are given in the following week. If Boxing Day falls on a Sunday, then in countries where it is a public holiday the Statutory Holiday is moved to Monday 27 December. In that event, Christmas Day would be on a Saturday, so Tuesday 28 December would be declared a holiday in lieu, that being the next available working day - thus the Boxing Day holiday occurs before the substitute Christmas holiday. If Christmas Day falls on a Sunday, then Boxing Day is on Monday 26 December, and no Royal Proclamation is required. In such a circumstance, a 'substitute bank holiday in lieu of Christmas Day' is declared for Tuesday 27 December; again with the Boxing Day holiday occurring before the substitute Christmas holiday. Although the same legislation—the Bank Holidays Act 1871—originally established the Bank Holidays throughout the United Kingdom, the holiday after Christmas was defined as Boxing Day in England and Wales, and the feast day of St. Stephen's Day in Ireland. In Australia and Canada, Boxing Day is primarily known as a shopping holiday, and a time where stores have sales, often with dramatic price decreases. For many merchants, it has become the day of the year with the greatest revenue. In recent years, this has been expanded to "Boxing Week". While Boxing Day is actually on 26 December, many retailers who hold Boxing Day Sales will run the sales for several days before or after 26 December, often up to New Year's Eve. In some areas of Canada, particularly in Atlantic Canada and parts of Northern Ontario, most retailers are prohibited by law from opening on Boxing Day. In these cases, any sales specifically scheduled for December 26 are moved to the 27th.*Wikipedia
--Wizard's Note: And I thought it was the day that all the empty Christmas Boxes were tossed to the curb!
Wednesday, December 25, 2019
Tuesday, December 24, 2019
THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads;
And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! on Cupid! on, Donder and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.
His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night."
*by Clement Clarke Moore
or Henry Livingston
Christmas With Louise
As a joke, my brother used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before Christmas. He said all he wanted was for Santa to fill them. What they say about Santa checking the list twice must be true because every Christmas morning, although Jay's kids' stockings were overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty.
One year I decided to make his dream come true. I put on sunglasses and went in search of an inflatable love doll. They don't sell those things at Walmart. I had to go to an adult bookstore downtown.
If you've never been in an X-rated store, don't go. You'll only confuse yourself. I was there an hour saying things like, "What does this do? You're kidding me! Who would buy that?" Finally, I made it to the inflatable doll section.
I wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my truck so I could use the car pool lane during rush hour.
Finding what I wanted was difficult. Love Dolls come in many different models. The top of the line, according to the side of the box, could do things I'd only seen in a book on animal husbandry. I settled for Lovable Louise. She was at the bottom of the price scale. To call Louise a doll took a huge leap of imagination.
On Christmas Eve and with the help of an old bicycle pump, Louise came to life.
My sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours. Long after Santa had come and gone, I filled the dangling pantyhose with Louise's pliant legs and bottom. I also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. I went home, and giggled for a couple of hours.
The next morning my brother called to say that Santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him VERY happy but had left the dog confused. She would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more.
We all agreed that Louise should remain in her panty hose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional Christmas dinner.
My grandmother noticed Louise the moment she walked in the door. "What the hell is that?" she asked.
My brother quickly explained, "It's a doll."
"Who would play with something like that?" Granny snapped.
I had several candidates in mind, but kept my mouth shut.
"Where are her clothes?" Granny continued.
"Boy, that turkey sure smells nice Gran" Jay said, to steer her into the dining room.
But Granny was relentless. "Why doesn't she have any teeth?"
Again, I could have answered, but why would I? It was Christmas and no one wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, "Hang on Granny, hang on!"
My grandfather, a delightful old man with poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, "Hey, who's the naked gal by the fireplace?"
I told him she was Jay's friend.
A few minutes later I noticed Grandpa by the mantel, talking to Louise. Not just talking, but actually flirting. It was then that we realized this might be Grandpa's last Christmas at home.
The dinner went well. We made the usual small talk about who had died, who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly Louise made a noise like my father in the bathroom in the morning. Then she lurched from the panty hose, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa.
The cat screamed. I passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and Grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. My brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants.
Granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car.
It was indeed a Christmas to treasure and remember.
Later in my brother's garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of Louise's collapse. We discovered that Louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh.
Fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape, we restored her to perfect health!
One year I decided to make his dream come true. I put on sunglasses and went in search of an inflatable love doll. They don't sell those things at Walmart. I had to go to an adult bookstore downtown.
If you've never been in an X-rated store, don't go. You'll only confuse yourself. I was there an hour saying things like, "What does this do? You're kidding me! Who would buy that?" Finally, I made it to the inflatable doll section.
I wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my truck so I could use the car pool lane during rush hour.
Finding what I wanted was difficult. Love Dolls come in many different models. The top of the line, according to the side of the box, could do things I'd only seen in a book on animal husbandry. I settled for Lovable Louise. She was at the bottom of the price scale. To call Louise a doll took a huge leap of imagination.
On Christmas Eve and with the help of an old bicycle pump, Louise came to life.
My sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours. Long after Santa had come and gone, I filled the dangling pantyhose with Louise's pliant legs and bottom. I also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. I went home, and giggled for a couple of hours.
The next morning my brother called to say that Santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him VERY happy but had left the dog confused. She would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more.
We all agreed that Louise should remain in her panty hose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional Christmas dinner.
My grandmother noticed Louise the moment she walked in the door. "What the hell is that?" she asked.
My brother quickly explained, "It's a doll."
"Who would play with something like that?" Granny snapped.
I had several candidates in mind, but kept my mouth shut.
"Where are her clothes?" Granny continued.
"Boy, that turkey sure smells nice Gran" Jay said, to steer her into the dining room.
But Granny was relentless. "Why doesn't she have any teeth?"
Again, I could have answered, but why would I? It was Christmas and no one wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, "Hang on Granny, hang on!"
My grandfather, a delightful old man with poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, "Hey, who's the naked gal by the fireplace?"
I told him she was Jay's friend.
A few minutes later I noticed Grandpa by the mantel, talking to Louise. Not just talking, but actually flirting. It was then that we realized this might be Grandpa's last Christmas at home.
The dinner went well. We made the usual small talk about who had died, who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly Louise made a noise like my father in the bathroom in the morning. Then she lurched from the panty hose, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa.
The cat screamed. I passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and Grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. My brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants.
Granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car.
It was indeed a Christmas to treasure and remember.
Later in my brother's garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of Louise's collapse. We discovered that Louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh.
Fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape, we restored her to perfect health!
One WILD Bug!
The Extraordinary Volkswagen Bug Decorated with over 2 Million Glass Beads
Tijana Radeska, Vintage news
Ever seen a Volkswagen bug with beads? One of the most iconic cars of all time, The Volkswagen Beetle first rolled out of the factory in 1938 and has since become a symbol of different alternative cultures and movements all over the world. When production ended in 2003, over 21 million units had been built.
The manufacture of the Beetle was ordered by Adolf Hitler with the intention of designing a car affordable for everyone. As such, the popular Bug has been loved by millions of people.
The first one was designed by Ferdinand Porsche, while the last Beetle car was produced in Mexico in 2003, and delivered directly to the VW museum in Wolfsburg, Germany.
Tijana Radeska, Vintage news
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| Photo Credit: Museo de Arte Popular CC BY 3.0 |
The manufacture of the Beetle was ordered by Adolf Hitler with the intention of designing a car affordable for everyone. As such, the popular Bug has been loved by millions of people.
The first one was designed by Ferdinand Porsche, while the last Beetle car was produced in Mexico in 2003, and delivered directly to the VW museum in Wolfsburg, Germany.
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| Photo Credit: Museo de Arte Popular CC BY 3.0 |
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| Photo Credit: Museo de Arte Popular CC BY 3.0 |
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| Photo Credit: Museo de Arte Popular CC BY 3.0 |
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| Photo Credit: Museo de Arte Popular CC BY 3.0 |
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| Photo Credit: Museo de Arte Popular CC BY 3.0 |
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| Photo Credit: Museo de Arte Popular CC BY 3.0 |
I went to a party
I went to a party,
And remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom
So I had a sprite instead.
You told me not to drink, Mom
So I had a sprite instead.
I felt proud of myself,
The way you said I would,
That I didn't drink and drive,
Though some friends said I should.
The way you said I would,
That I didn't drink and drive,
Though some friends said I should.
I made a healthy choice,
And your advice to me was right,
The party finally ended,
And the kids drove out of sight.
And your advice to me was right,
The party finally ended,
And the kids drove out of sight.
I got into my car,
Sure to get home in one piece,
I never knew what was coming,
Mom Something I expected least.
Sure to get home in one piece,
I never knew what was coming,
Mom Something I expected least.
Now I'm lying on the pavement,
And I hear the policeman say,
The kid that caused this wreck was drunk,
Mom, his voice seems far away.
And I hear the policeman say,
The kid that caused this wreck was drunk,
Mom, his voice seems far away.
My own blood's all around me,
As I try hard not to cry.
I can hear the paramedic say,
This girl is going to die.
As I try hard not to cry.
I can hear the paramedic say,
This girl is going to die.
I'm sure the guy had no idea,
While he was flying high,
Because he chose to drink and drive,
Now I would have to die.
While he was flying high,
Because he chose to drink and drive,
Now I would have to die.
So why do people do it, Mom
Knowing that it ruins lives?
And now the pain is cutting me,
Like a hundred stabbing knives.
Knowing that it ruins lives?
And now the pain is cutting me,
Like a hundred stabbing knives.
Tell sister not to be afraid, Mom
Tell daddy to be brave,
And when I go to heaven,
Put "Mommy 's Girl" on my grave.
Tell daddy to be brave,
And when I go to heaven,
Put "Mommy 's Girl" on my grave.
Someone should have taught him,
That it's wrong to drink and drive.
Maybe if his parents had, I'd still be alive.
My breath is getting shorter, Mom
That it's wrong to drink and drive.
Maybe if his parents had, I'd still be alive.
My breath is getting shorter, Mom
I'm getting really scared.
These are my final moments,
And I'm so unprepared.
These are my final moments,
And I'm so unprepared.
I wish that you could hold me Mom,
As I lie here and die.
I wish that I could say, "I love you, Mom!"
As I lie here and die.
I wish that I could say, "I love you, Mom!"
Monday, December 23, 2019
Very Punny
Y’know, after a long day,
sometimes I just like to look into a mirror.
And reflect.
~~~~~~~~~~~
What’s the difference between water falling from the sky and hamburgers falling from the sky?
One of them is a meatier shower.
~~~~~~~~~~~
A Malaysian man, a Laotian guy, a Burmese fellow and a Vietnamese dude walk into an upscale bar. As they walk in, the doorman stops them and says, "Sorry gentlemen, I can't let you in without a Thai."
~~~~~~~~~~~
Someone said you sound like an owl.
~~~~~~~~~~~
"I bought my dog a little coat with writing on the back."
"Oh, what did it say?"
"…Nothing, he's a dog."
~~~~~~~~~~~
I went on a date with a blonde woman last night.
"Do you have any kids?" she asked.
"Yes," I replied. "I have one child that's under two."
She said, "I might be blonde, but I know how many one is."
~~~~~~~~~~~
So Kate and William are expecting another baby, huh?
Wouldn’t it be cool if they named it Kong?
~~~~~~~~~~~
I have this addiction to making musical puns,
but I don't usually worry too much because it's only A minor thing.
sometimes I just like to look into a mirror.
And reflect.
~~~~~~~~~~~
What’s the difference between water falling from the sky and hamburgers falling from the sky?
One of them is a meatier shower.
~~~~~~~~~~~
A Malaysian man, a Laotian guy, a Burmese fellow and a Vietnamese dude walk into an upscale bar. As they walk in, the doorman stops them and says, "Sorry gentlemen, I can't let you in without a Thai."
~~~~~~~~~~~
Someone said you sound like an owl.
~~~~~~~~~~~
"I bought my dog a little coat with writing on the back."
"Oh, what did it say?"
"…Nothing, he's a dog."
~~~~~~~~~~~
I went on a date with a blonde woman last night.
"Do you have any kids?" she asked.
"Yes," I replied. "I have one child that's under two."
She said, "I might be blonde, but I know how many one is."
~~~~~~~~~~~
So Kate and William are expecting another baby, huh?
Wouldn’t it be cool if they named it Kong?
~~~~~~~~~~~
I have this addiction to making musical puns,
but I don't usually worry too much because it's only A minor thing.
Finally got my tree up...
Whew!
It was a lot of work but I'm done ... got the tree up!!
It was a lot of work but I'm done ... got the tree up!!
I LOVE the smell of pine!
Great Commercial
I just had to share it. It is actually an HP Printer & Evian Water commercial. But, there are only a few seconds which actually bring attention to the HP printer & Evian water. The bulk of the commercial is purely entertainment. And, IT IS AMAZING! I don't know how they do this kind of stuff, but it is flawless. It is so perfectly done that I could not find one thing that would make you think it wasn't real if you didn't know any better. Cute!
Click here (It's a youtube video)
Click here (It's a youtube video)
Mary Be Got
I will place a disclaimer at the start of this story; it is a paganised Yule story of the classic Christmas story.
It has offended some people who are of a more Christian path, and even upset some folks who are Pagan as well. Others have made this story as much a part of their own personal Yuletide tradition as a tree, or feasts with loved ones.
With that warning in mind, I hope you enjoy it.
By Ave Riddler
The fire light flickered across the smiling faces of the ladies in inner ring of the dance circle. Each of the ladies had their hair loose and flowing, with a crown of flowers and white ribbons. The ladies giggled breathlessly, as one after another they were spun out of the inner circle they were dancing hand in hand, towards the outer circle where the men danced. One of the men would dance with her for a short while, before sending her spinning and giggling back into the inner circle. Mary still linked with the inner circle, saw who she was to dance with next, and suddenly her heart was pounding with more than the fever of the dance. She sighed softly as the hands linked to her own vanished, and she was spun towards a green painted man, with antlers bound to his head that seemed to touch the moon above. As his warm calloused hands pressed to her narrow waist, his breath brushed her flushed cheek, “Happy May-eve sweet Mary,” He spun her dizzily around until once again she was pressed to his broad chest, “I morn your engagement to Joseph. Let us for only this instant pretend that you are the Goddess and I am the God…” Then he brushed his lips softly to her cheek, and released her.
Gaze lingering on the man as she rejoined the inner circle of dancing ladies, she gasped and giggled as she blushed. Moments after her hands linked with those in the inner circle the drums hushed and a voice cried over the singing “LET US FEAST!!!” Cheers rose through both circles of dancers, as well as those watching and clapping. Linked hands released, and the dancers as well as spectators drifted towards the platform where the food was displayed. A strange voice murmured into Mary’s ear “your life is about to change the lives of billions.” Startled she spun around to confront the stranger, only to find no one there. Feeling uneasy, she started forward again, only to collide into a warm green painted chest.
The deep voice that came from above her head as she shyly gazed up sent shivers down her back, “Mary sweetness. Mind where you walk or you will have the villagers talking of us…” Blushing she met his gaze boldly, and breathlessly asked “And what could they possibly say about the great horned God and I?”
He started to chuckle “That Mary may not be so pure a virgin.” Then his eyes widening he whispered near her ear “But you called me the God, not as Christopher?” Heat and longing filled his eyes as he looked into her gaze “On this a May-day eve?”
With a shy glance down along his green painted chest she sighed “And how can a lady on this day, deny her lord?” Then as he watched with shock, she removed a blossom from her hair and placed it among his horns. Then turning from the feast, they linked hands, passing through the oblivious crowd.
Later in a moon lit clearing surrounded by trees, he his antlers tossed aside asked sadly “what of Joseph?”
Mary smiled gently “he must never know of this night. I will go to him still a virgin. He will never learn of Christopher the village shepherd…or that his bride’s faith is towards a faith different from his own. I must go to him the pure bride my father gave him.” Christopher touched her hand eyes beseeching her to stay. With a sorrowful shake of her head, she stood, and turned towards the village. He called out to her, concerned she would get lost, but she promised to remain on the path.
A month later sick with nerves, Mary gazed down at her wedding garb, knowing that from this day forth she would be Joseph’s wife, gone were the May-days, and Solstices. Joseph would be a fine husband; he was so kind, and so attentive, he had even noticed that she had gained some weight, praising her for it, saying it would be good for when she was with child. As she walked slowly towards her father, and Joseph she let her eyes drift around at the gathered villagers, seeing young and old, friends and family, sheep…Startled she glanced back in the direction of the animals, and found her gaze locked upon the face of their shepherd. He, his face no longer painted green, stared at her with tears in his eyes and a dried flower in his hand. As she gazed at him his lips moved silently around the words “no Mary”
A strange voice murmured into her ear, “you, young Mary are with child!” Frightened Mary glanced behind her, and saw no one near enough to have voiced this announcement. With a final slow step, she found herself standing at Joseph’s side. All through the complex marriage ceremony, Mary thought not of her place in her husband’s life, nor of her place in her new God’s house, but of that one night of sacred love. As the ceremony drew to its end, Mary did notice Joseph glance at her waist with a faint frown.
As was custom in her village she was separated from her new groom for the week when her blood tide was to flow, and she worried when it did not come. Alone in the hut where the women of the village spent their cycle she paced as she wondered how she could possibly explain her situation. Then she recalled the strange voice and exclaimed “An angel!” Almost joyful she sank onto a chair “an angel from the heavens! Came to tell me I am carrying a God’s child! How else could a virgin newly married be with child? It will be a miracle! A blessing!”
Once alone with Joseph on the night she was presented to her husband, cleansed and blessed, she fell to her knees and begged Joseph not to bed her. “I have been chosen! I am a living miracle! I had a vision, an angel came to me…” she raised her hands towards the heavens, “I a virgin, am with child….Free of sin…Carrying a God’s seed! A blessing!” Joseph raged, asking over and over what other lies her father had told him? Who had known his virgin bride? How could she betray him in this way? Then he stormed out of the bed chambers.
Mary was sleeping when Joseph finally returned, he angrily agreed “Fine! An angel came to ME, told ME of this baby, before we came together for the first time.” Softer spoken, but still with a hint of anger in his voice he said “I have spoken with your father, he finally told me I married a pagan. You went to those heathen rites…But he vows he knows nothing of any sexual acts, claims you always came home untouched. So a virgin you are. MY God’s child you shall be carrying.”
Months passed and the newlyweds were the talk of the villagers, “a virgin mother?” Some called it a blessing, others call it a curse. As the conflict grew, Mary and Joseph were shunned. Asked to leave the village, they were permitted only to pack up a few meager belongings, the belief of the people being that if this baby really was God’s child, He would provide for the family. Her father gifting the couple a mule sent them on their way. Mary saw a lone figure in the shadows of the building watching as they leave. Faintly in the shadows she could see a pure white lamb by the figures feet. “Go away Christopher” she whispered silently “Stop watching over me.” Then as Joseph started on his way, she turned to follow him with her shoulders hunched, tears in her eyes and walked away.
Night after night, Mary had nightmares where leering faces with strange voices howled at her “Your life will change billions” As Joseph and Mary travel she continued to fill out, and travel became more and more difficult. Each village they came to they found the same lack of welcome, it seemed every person knew of the virgin mother, saying that God will provide, and turning the couple away.
The seasons changed, and Mary secretly found a small log of wood, which late at night as Joseph slept she whispered her hopes and dreams for the future to the log. The weather grew colder, the nights longer yet Mary stayed awake more and more fearing the nightmares she had of her child turning completely from the earth, renouncing his mother, placing men above all things.
The longest and darkest night found Mary placing her log in the fire where she watched as it burned. With the warmth of the fire on her face, she pulled out a scarlet ribbon from her bag and twisted it into her hair. Singing softly, swaying side to side, she placed her hands against her large waist, her quietude broken when suddenly pain lanced through her body. Panic in her voice she called out desperately “JOSEPH!!! The baby!” As rapidly as possible they packed up their camp, heading at a renewed speed for the nearby lights of a small village. Both of them knowing a forest is not a good place to try birth a baby, with hopes of finding a warm safe place in the village.
Once inside the village, they wandered from house to house, only to be turned away by people that had fear in their eyes. The next building they came to they saw a man bickering with someone who was obviously a stranger, Joseph sighed “he too must be trying to find a place to stay. We’ll have to move on.”
As they started to turn away a voice called out to them from the building “You there!” Startled Joseph turned and watched warily as an old man limped towards them. Wheezing the old man said “That shepherd over there” gesturing behind him to shadows that were now empty “well the shepherd that was over there gave me all his sheep in return for a warm place for the two of you to rest for a while.” The old man gazed closer at Mary seeing now the sweat on her brow and her rounded belly he gasped and choked out “you’re the virgin mother aren’t you? It seems I will be the one fool to interfere with the divine will then.” He then turned and led them to his small barn.
Alone with Mary in the barn Joseph helped as Mary labored with the birth of her child. Overwhelmed by agony, Mary cried out, her mind fearing death, her ears not hearing anything outside of her pain, she sobbed out her confession. Mary was oblivious even to Joseph as he listened, his face filling with understanding as he gazed at the sheep surrounding them.
Late in the night, Mary with babe in her arms rested in a bed of hay, wondering where Joseph was. She was thinking also of Christopher, wondering if the sheep around her could possibly be his. When Joseph returned all fury was gone from his eyes, he gazed silently at Mary and the baby for a while. Then he handed her a set of antlers, watching as shock entered her eyes. He smiled slightly and said “So you do recognize them. I just had a talk with a shepherd who gave up all his wealth, so that a God’s child could be born. I think we shall name the baby Christ.”
It has offended some people who are of a more Christian path, and even upset some folks who are Pagan as well. Others have made this story as much a part of their own personal Yuletide tradition as a tree, or feasts with loved ones.
With that warning in mind, I hope you enjoy it.
MARY-BE-GOT
The fire light flickered across the smiling faces of the ladies in inner ring of the dance circle. Each of the ladies had their hair loose and flowing, with a crown of flowers and white ribbons. The ladies giggled breathlessly, as one after another they were spun out of the inner circle they were dancing hand in hand, towards the outer circle where the men danced. One of the men would dance with her for a short while, before sending her spinning and giggling back into the inner circle. Mary still linked with the inner circle, saw who she was to dance with next, and suddenly her heart was pounding with more than the fever of the dance. She sighed softly as the hands linked to her own vanished, and she was spun towards a green painted man, with antlers bound to his head that seemed to touch the moon above. As his warm calloused hands pressed to her narrow waist, his breath brushed her flushed cheek, “Happy May-eve sweet Mary,” He spun her dizzily around until once again she was pressed to his broad chest, “I morn your engagement to Joseph. Let us for only this instant pretend that you are the Goddess and I am the God…” Then he brushed his lips softly to her cheek, and released her.
Gaze lingering on the man as she rejoined the inner circle of dancing ladies, she gasped and giggled as she blushed. Moments after her hands linked with those in the inner circle the drums hushed and a voice cried over the singing “LET US FEAST!!!” Cheers rose through both circles of dancers, as well as those watching and clapping. Linked hands released, and the dancers as well as spectators drifted towards the platform where the food was displayed. A strange voice murmured into Mary’s ear “your life is about to change the lives of billions.” Startled she spun around to confront the stranger, only to find no one there. Feeling uneasy, she started forward again, only to collide into a warm green painted chest.
The deep voice that came from above her head as she shyly gazed up sent shivers down her back, “Mary sweetness. Mind where you walk or you will have the villagers talking of us…” Blushing she met his gaze boldly, and breathlessly asked “And what could they possibly say about the great horned God and I?”
He started to chuckle “That Mary may not be so pure a virgin.” Then his eyes widening he whispered near her ear “But you called me the God, not as Christopher?” Heat and longing filled his eyes as he looked into her gaze “On this a May-day eve?”
With a shy glance down along his green painted chest she sighed “And how can a lady on this day, deny her lord?” Then as he watched with shock, she removed a blossom from her hair and placed it among his horns. Then turning from the feast, they linked hands, passing through the oblivious crowd.
Later in a moon lit clearing surrounded by trees, he his antlers tossed aside asked sadly “what of Joseph?”
Mary smiled gently “he must never know of this night. I will go to him still a virgin. He will never learn of Christopher the village shepherd…or that his bride’s faith is towards a faith different from his own. I must go to him the pure bride my father gave him.” Christopher touched her hand eyes beseeching her to stay. With a sorrowful shake of her head, she stood, and turned towards the village. He called out to her, concerned she would get lost, but she promised to remain on the path.
A month later sick with nerves, Mary gazed down at her wedding garb, knowing that from this day forth she would be Joseph’s wife, gone were the May-days, and Solstices. Joseph would be a fine husband; he was so kind, and so attentive, he had even noticed that she had gained some weight, praising her for it, saying it would be good for when she was with child. As she walked slowly towards her father, and Joseph she let her eyes drift around at the gathered villagers, seeing young and old, friends and family, sheep…Startled she glanced back in the direction of the animals, and found her gaze locked upon the face of their shepherd. He, his face no longer painted green, stared at her with tears in his eyes and a dried flower in his hand. As she gazed at him his lips moved silently around the words “no Mary”
A strange voice murmured into her ear, “you, young Mary are with child!” Frightened Mary glanced behind her, and saw no one near enough to have voiced this announcement. With a final slow step, she found herself standing at Joseph’s side. All through the complex marriage ceremony, Mary thought not of her place in her husband’s life, nor of her place in her new God’s house, but of that one night of sacred love. As the ceremony drew to its end, Mary did notice Joseph glance at her waist with a faint frown.
As was custom in her village she was separated from her new groom for the week when her blood tide was to flow, and she worried when it did not come. Alone in the hut where the women of the village spent their cycle she paced as she wondered how she could possibly explain her situation. Then she recalled the strange voice and exclaimed “An angel!” Almost joyful she sank onto a chair “an angel from the heavens! Came to tell me I am carrying a God’s child! How else could a virgin newly married be with child? It will be a miracle! A blessing!”
Once alone with Joseph on the night she was presented to her husband, cleansed and blessed, she fell to her knees and begged Joseph not to bed her. “I have been chosen! I am a living miracle! I had a vision, an angel came to me…” she raised her hands towards the heavens, “I a virgin, am with child….Free of sin…Carrying a God’s seed! A blessing!” Joseph raged, asking over and over what other lies her father had told him? Who had known his virgin bride? How could she betray him in this way? Then he stormed out of the bed chambers.
Mary was sleeping when Joseph finally returned, he angrily agreed “Fine! An angel came to ME, told ME of this baby, before we came together for the first time.” Softer spoken, but still with a hint of anger in his voice he said “I have spoken with your father, he finally told me I married a pagan. You went to those heathen rites…But he vows he knows nothing of any sexual acts, claims you always came home untouched. So a virgin you are. MY God’s child you shall be carrying.”
Months passed and the newlyweds were the talk of the villagers, “a virgin mother?” Some called it a blessing, others call it a curse. As the conflict grew, Mary and Joseph were shunned. Asked to leave the village, they were permitted only to pack up a few meager belongings, the belief of the people being that if this baby really was God’s child, He would provide for the family. Her father gifting the couple a mule sent them on their way. Mary saw a lone figure in the shadows of the building watching as they leave. Faintly in the shadows she could see a pure white lamb by the figures feet. “Go away Christopher” she whispered silently “Stop watching over me.” Then as Joseph started on his way, she turned to follow him with her shoulders hunched, tears in her eyes and walked away.
Night after night, Mary had nightmares where leering faces with strange voices howled at her “Your life will change billions” As Joseph and Mary travel she continued to fill out, and travel became more and more difficult. Each village they came to they found the same lack of welcome, it seemed every person knew of the virgin mother, saying that God will provide, and turning the couple away.
The seasons changed, and Mary secretly found a small log of wood, which late at night as Joseph slept she whispered her hopes and dreams for the future to the log. The weather grew colder, the nights longer yet Mary stayed awake more and more fearing the nightmares she had of her child turning completely from the earth, renouncing his mother, placing men above all things.
The longest and darkest night found Mary placing her log in the fire where she watched as it burned. With the warmth of the fire on her face, she pulled out a scarlet ribbon from her bag and twisted it into her hair. Singing softly, swaying side to side, she placed her hands against her large waist, her quietude broken when suddenly pain lanced through her body. Panic in her voice she called out desperately “JOSEPH!!! The baby!” As rapidly as possible they packed up their camp, heading at a renewed speed for the nearby lights of a small village. Both of them knowing a forest is not a good place to try birth a baby, with hopes of finding a warm safe place in the village.
Once inside the village, they wandered from house to house, only to be turned away by people that had fear in their eyes. The next building they came to they saw a man bickering with someone who was obviously a stranger, Joseph sighed “he too must be trying to find a place to stay. We’ll have to move on.”
As they started to turn away a voice called out to them from the building “You there!” Startled Joseph turned and watched warily as an old man limped towards them. Wheezing the old man said “That shepherd over there” gesturing behind him to shadows that were now empty “well the shepherd that was over there gave me all his sheep in return for a warm place for the two of you to rest for a while.” The old man gazed closer at Mary seeing now the sweat on her brow and her rounded belly he gasped and choked out “you’re the virgin mother aren’t you? It seems I will be the one fool to interfere with the divine will then.” He then turned and led them to his small barn.
Alone with Mary in the barn Joseph helped as Mary labored with the birth of her child. Overwhelmed by agony, Mary cried out, her mind fearing death, her ears not hearing anything outside of her pain, she sobbed out her confession. Mary was oblivious even to Joseph as he listened, his face filling with understanding as he gazed at the sheep surrounding them.
Late in the night, Mary with babe in her arms rested in a bed of hay, wondering where Joseph was. She was thinking also of Christopher, wondering if the sheep around her could possibly be his. When Joseph returned all fury was gone from his eyes, he gazed silently at Mary and the baby for a while. Then he handed her a set of antlers, watching as shock entered her eyes. He smiled slightly and said “So you do recognize them. I just had a talk with a shepherd who gave up all his wealth, so that a God’s child could be born. I think we shall name the baby Christ.”
Sunday, December 22, 2019
REMEMBER THIS AT CHRISTMAS TIME!
According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.
Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.
We should've known... ONLY women would be able to drag a fat-ass man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.
Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.
We should've known... ONLY women would be able to drag a fat-ass man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.
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