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Tuesday, November 28, 2017

The Dubai Fountain

Awesome!

Do NOT click on the word NEXT in the upper right of the picture square. Be patient and wait for the fountain to do its thing, and listen to the gorgeous duet.

Turn your lights down.
When it starts, click the box at the bottom right for full screen viewing, then sit back and enjoy... Click on the picture below:

Dubai Fountain - click here to watch the movies

The Yellow Shirt

By Patricia Lorenz

The yellow shirt had long sleeves, four extra-large pockets trimmed in black thread and snaps up the front. It was faded from years of wear, but still in decent shape. I found it in 1963 when I was home from college on Christmas break, rummaging through bags of clothes Mom intended to give away.
'You're not taking that old thing, are you?' Mom said when she saw me packing the yellow shirt.. 'I wore that when I was pregnant with your brother in 1954!'

Yellow Shirt
'It's just the thing to wear over my clothes during art class, Mom. Thanks!' I slipped it into my suitcase before she could object. The yellow shirt be came a part of my college wardrobe. I loved it.
After graduation, I wore the shirt the day I moved into my new apartment and on Saturday mornings when I cleaned.
The next year, I married. When I became pregnant, I wore the yellow shirt during big-belly days. I missed Mom and the rest of my family, since we were in Colorado and they were in Illinois . But, that shirt helped. I smiled, remembering that Mother had worn it when she was pregnant, 25 years earlier.
That Christmas, mindful of the warm feelings the shirt had given me, I patched one elbow, wrapped it in holiday paper and sent it to Mom. When Mom wrote to thank me for her 'real' gifts, she said the yellow shirt was lovely. She never mentioned it again..
The next year, my husband, daughter and I stopped at Mom and Dad's to pick up some furniture. Days later, when we uncrated the kitchen table, I noticed something yellow taped to its bottom. The shirt!
And so the pattern was set.
On our next visit home, I secretly placed the shirt under Mom and Dad's mattress. I don't know how long it took for her to find it, but almost two years passed before I discovered it under the base of our living-room floor lamp. The yellow shirt was just what I needed now while refinishing furniture. The walnut stains added character.
In 1975 my husband and I divorced. With my three children, I prepared to move back to Illinois . As I packed, a deep depression overtook me. I wondered if I could make it on my own. I wondered if I would find a job. I paged through the Bible, looking for comfort. In Ephesians, I read, 'So use every piece of God's armor to resist the enemy whenever he attacks, and when it is all over, you will be standing up.'
I tried to picture myself wearing God's armor, but all I saw was the stained yellow shirt.. Slowly, it dawned on me. Wasn't my mother's love a piece of God's armor? My courage was renewed.
Unpacking in our new home, I knew I had to get the shirt back to Mother. The next time I visited her, I tucked it in her bottom dresser drawer.
Meanwhile, I found a good job at a radio station A year later I discovered the yellow shirt hidden in a rag bag in my cleaning closet.
Something new had been added. Embroidered in bright green across the breast pocket were the words 'I BELONG TO PAT.'
Not to be outdone, I got out my own embroidery materials and added an apostrophe and seven more letters.
Now the shirt proudly proclaimed, 'I BELONG TO PAT'S MOTHER.' But I didn't stop there. I zig-zagged all the frayed seams, then had a friend mail the shirt in a fancy box to Mom from Arlington , VA. We enclosed an official looking letter from 'The Institute for the Destitute,' announcing that she was the recipient of an award for good deeds.
I would have given anything to see Mom's face when she opened the box. But, of course, she never mentioned it.
Two years later, in 1978, I remarried. The day of our wedding, Harold and I put our car in a friend's garage to avoid practical jokers. After the wedding, while my husband drove us to our honeymoon suite, I reached for a pillow in the car to rest my head. It felt lumpy... I unzipped the case and found, wrapped in wedding paper, the yellow shirt.. Inside a pocket was a note: 'Read John 14:27-29. I love you both, Mother.'
That night I paged through the Bible in a hotel room and found the verses: 'I am leaving you with a gift: peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give isn't fragile like the peace the world gives. So don't be troubled or afraid. Remember what I told you: I am going away, but I will come back to you again. If you really love me, you will be very happy for me, for now I can go to the Father, who is greater than I am. I have told you these things before they happen so that when they do, you will believe in me.'
The shirt was Mother's final gift. She had known for three months that she had terminal Lou Gehrig's disease. Mother died the following year at age 57.
I was tempted to send the yellow shirt with her to her grave. But I'm glad I didn't, because it is a vivid reminder of the love-filled game she and I played for 16 years. Besides, my older daughter is in college now, majoring in art. And every art student needs a baggy yellow shirt with big pockets.

Canadian joke. Binary, eh?

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S e x Frogs


A blonde goes to her local pet store in search of an 'exotic' pet. As she looks about the store, she notices a box full of frogs.


The sign says:

'SEX FROGS'

Frog

Only $20 each!


Comes with 'complete' instructions.


The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybody's watching her.  She whispers softly to the man behind the counter, 'I'll take one!'

As the man packages the frog, he quietly says to her, 'Just follow the instructions!'

The blonde nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home.

As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, she opens the instructions and reads them very carefully.

She does exactly what is specified:

1. Take a shower.
2. Splash on some nice perfume.
3. Slip into a very sexy nightie.
4. Crawl into bed and place the frog down beside you,
and allow the frog to do what he has been trained to do.
She then quickly gets into bed with the frog and to her surprise ... nothing happens!

The blonde is very disappointed and quite upset at this point.

She re-reads the instructions and notices at the bottom of the paper it says,

'If you have any problems or questions, please call the pet store.' 

So, she calls the pet store. The man says, 'I'll be right over.' Within minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell. The blonde welcomes him in and says, 'See, I've done everything according to the instructions. The damn frog just sits there!'


The man ... looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares 'directly into its eyes' and sternly says:

Frog

'LISTEN TO ME...
I'm only going to show you how to do this ONE MORE TIME!'

Thumb Twiddling

Thumb twiddling is an activity that is done with the hands of an individual whereby the fingers are interlocked and the thumbscircle around a common focal point, usually in the middle of the distance between the two thumbs.

While it is an expression of at least a moderate amount of manual dexterity, thumb twiddling is frequently used as an example of a useless, time-wasting activity. It has even been proposed as "the ultimate exercise for the bored and lazy".

Thumb twiddling is considered to be the same useless actives such as opening and closing doors and checking to see if a lock is bolted tight. It's reported that thumb twiddling is common in individuals with obsessive–compulsive disorder (OCD). For some individuals, thumb twiddling is a result in being anxious or nervous, having anxiety, or simply doing it out of habit.


Thumb twiddling can be used as a simple test for manual dexterity.

Monday, November 27, 2017

Can you solve these logic question teasers?

Time to get out your paper and pens...

1. Cathy has six pairs of black gloves and six pairs of brown gloves in her drawer. In complete darkness, how many gloves must she take from the drawer in order to be sure to get a pair that match? Think carefully!!

2. Mom, Dad, and 2 kids have come to a river, and they find a boat. It is small and can only carry one adult or 2 kids at a time. Both kids are good rowers, but how can the whole family reach the other side of the river?

3. Why can't you take a picture of a Indian woman with hair curlers?

4. What is the largest possible number you can write using only 2 digits - just 2 digits, nothing else?

5. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the tallest mountain in the world?

6. Because cigars cannot be entirely smoked, a hobo who collects cigar butts can make a cigar to smoke out of every 5 butts that he finds. Today, he has collected 25 cigar butts. How many cigars will he be able to smoke?

7. Jenn is facetious. She is also abstemious. She gets pneumonia. Given those clues, what is the only American tree she will like?

8. How many birth days does the average man have?

9. Someone at a party introduces you to your mother's only sister's husband's sister in law. He has no brothers. What do you call this lady?

10. Which weighs more, a pound of feathers or a pound of gold?

11. Two planes take off at the same exact moment. They are flying across the Atlantic. One leaves New York and is flying to Paris at 500 miles per hour. The other leaves Paris and is flying to New York at only 450 miles per hour ( because of a strong head wind ). Which one will be closer to Paris when they meet?

12. A carpenter was in a terrible hurry. He had to work as quickly as possible to cut a very heavy 10 foot plank into 10 equal sections. If it takes 1 minute per cut, how long will it take him to get the 10 equal pieces?

13. Why are 1898 silver dollars worth more than 1897 silver dollars?

14. What English word can have 4 of its 5 letters removed and still retain it's original pronunciation?

15. Johnny's mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May. What was the third child's name?

16. In your sock drawer, you have a ratio of 5 pairs of blue socks, 4 pairs of brown socks, and 6 pairs of black socks. In complete darkness, how many socks would you need to pull out to get a matching pair of the same color?

17. How can a woman living in New Jersey, legally marry 3 men, without ever getting a divorce, be widowed, or becoming legally separated?

18. A woman goes into a hardware store to buy something for her house. When asked the price, the clerk replies, "the price of one is twelve cents, the price of forty-four is twenty-four cents, and the price a hundred and forty-four is thirty-six cents. What does the woman want to buy?

19. If there are 5 apples on the counter and you take away 2, how many do you have?

20. If, having only one match, on a freezing winter day, you entered a room which contained a lamp, a kerosene heater, and a wood burning stove, which should you light first.

Click here for the answers.

The Top Five Smart -A$$ Answers of The Year

Smart-Ass Answer #5

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a butcher, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

The butcher replied, "No, ma'am, they're dead."

Smart-Ass Answer #4

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.

The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."

Smart-Ass Answer #3

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads 'Low bridge ahead'. Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"

The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."

Smart-Ass Answer #2

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.

Without missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub."

Smart-Ass Answer #1

THE SMART-ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR

"THE TEACHER"

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now, Class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"!

A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering.

The teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you will have to write the exam with your other hand.

How to build a community.... and more

How to build a community.... and more
How to build a community.... and more
How to build a community.... and more
How to build a community.... and more
How to build a community.... and more
How to build a community.... and more
How to build a community.... and more
How to build a community.... and more

Quoth The "Wilde" One...

“Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.”
– Oscar Wilde

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
– Oscar Wilde

“Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.”
– Oscar Wilde

“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.”
– Oscar Wilde
Oscar Wilde

“A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything, and the value of nothing.”
– Oscar Wilde

“All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does, and that is his.”
– Oscar Wilde

“With freedom, books, flowers, and the moon, who could not be happy?”
– Oscar Wilde

“Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit.”
– Oscar Wilde

“If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they’ll kill you.”
– Oscar Wilde

“It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.”
– Oscar Wilde

“To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.”
– Oscar Wilde

“Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.”
– Oscar Wilde

“No good deed goes unpunished.”
– Oscar Wilde

“I don’t want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.”
– Oscar Wilde

“Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about.”
– Oscar Wilde

“Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast.”
– Oscar Wilde

“There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.”
– Oscar Wilde

“A man’s face is his autobiography. A woman’s face is her work of fiction.”
– Oscar Wilde

“To define is to limit.”
– Oscar Wilde

“Morality is simply the attitude we adopt towards people we personally dislike.”
– Oscar Wilde

“I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.”
– Oscar Wilde

“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.”
– Oscar Wilde

“If one cannot enjoy reading a book over and over again, there is no use in reading it at all.”
– Oscar Wilde

“It is what you read when you don’t have to that determines what you will be when you can’t help it.”
– Oscar Wilde

“The truth is rarely pure and never simple.”
– Oscar Wilde

“The books that the world calls immoral are books that show the world its own shame.”
– Oscar Wilde

“You can never be overdressed or overeducated.”
– Oscar Wilde

“I don’t want to go to heaven. None of my friends are there.”
– Oscar Wilde

“Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.”
– Oscar Wilde

“Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.”
– Oscar Wilde

“A good friend will always stab you in the front.”
– Oscar Wilde

“Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.”
– Oscar Wilde

“Yes: I am a dreamer. For a dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.”
– Oscar Wilde

“I am not young enough to know everything.”
– Oscar Wilde

“You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit.”
– Oscar Wilde

“Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future.”
– Oscar Wilde

“The heart was made to be broken.”
– Oscar Wilde

“A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it.”
– Oscar Wilde

“Experience is merely the name men gave to their mistakes.”
– Oscar Wilde

“I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.”
– Oscar Wilde

“Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.”
– Oscar Wilde

“You don’t love someone for their looks, or their clothes, or for their fancy car, but because they sing a song only you can hear.”
– Oscar Wilde

Oscar Wilde
“Everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power.”
– Oscar Wilde

“Those who find ugly meanings in beautiful things are corrupt without being charming. This is a fault. Those who find beautiful meanings in beautiful things are the cultivated. For these there is hope. They are the elect to whom beautiful things mean only Beauty. There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written, or badly written. That is all.”
– Oscar Wilde

“Never love anyone who treats you like you’re ordinary.”
– Oscar Wilde

“The very essence of romance is uncertainty.”
– Oscar Wilde

“Anybody can sympathise with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathise with a friend’s success.”
– Oscar Wilde

“The world is a stage and the play is badly cast.”
– Oscar Wilde

“I am too fond of reading books to care to write them.”
– Oscar Wilde

“We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell.”
– Oscar Wilde

“There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating: people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing.”

– Oscar Wilde

“How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being”.

– Oscar Wilde

“Nowadays people know the price of everything and the value of nothing.”
– Oscar Wilde

“Behind every exquisite thing that existed, there was something tragic.”

– Oscar Wilde

“We live in an age when unnecessary things are our only necessities.”
– Oscar Wilde

“Society often forgives the criminal; it never forgives the dreamer.”
– Oscar Wilde

“Everything in moderation, including moderation.”
– Oscar Wilde

“Humanity takes itself too seriously. It is the world’s original sin. If the cave-man had known how to laugh, History would have been different.”
– Oscar Wilde

“One should never trust a woman who tells one her real age. A woman who would tell one that would tell one anything.”
– Oscar Wilde

“The nicest feeling in the world is to do a good deed anonymously-and have somebody find out.”
– Oscar Wilde

“The only good thing to do with good advice is pass it on; it is never of any use to oneself.”
– Oscar Wilde

“Live! Live the wonderful life that is in you! Let nothing be lost upon you. Be always searching for new sensations. Be afraid of nothing.”

– Oscar Wilde

“Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul.”
– Oscar Wilde

“The mystery of love is greater than the mystery of death.”
– Oscar Wilde

“It takes great deal of courage to see the world in all its tainted glory, and still to love it.”
– Oscar Wilde

--from "70 Brilliant Oscar Wilde Quotes", quotesnsmiles.com

Sunday, November 26, 2017

Fortunes

Fortunes
A half moon is better than no moon at all.
A hen is only an egg's way of making another egg.
A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse!
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.
A king's castle is his home.
A large dog will have a surprising effect on your life.
A lie in time saves nine.
A light wife doth make a heavy husband.
A likely impossibility is always preferable to an unconvincing possibility.
A lost ounce of gold may be found, a lost moment of time never.
A man who fishes for marlin in ponds will put his money in Etruscan bonds.
A man who turns green has eschewed protein.
A man with 3 buttocks.
A man with one watch knows what time it is--with two watches he is never sure.
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small package.

A man, a plan, a canal. Suez!
A memorandum is written not to inform the reader, but to protect the writer.
A misguided platypus will lay its eggs in your shorts.
A moose once bit my sister.
A muth once bit my sister.
A pat on the back is only a few inches from a kick in the pants.
A penny saved is ridiculous.
A plucked goose does not lay golden eggs.
A private sin is not so prejudicial in the world as a public indecency.
HERE HERE HERE!
A project not worth doing at all is not worth doing well.
A relationship is like a shark. It has to keep moving forward or it dies.
A rolling stone gathers no moss.
A shortcut is the longest path between two points.
A sick mind is not necessarily the sign of a clean desk.
A snake lurks in the grass.
A stitch in time saves nine.
A sweater is a garment worn by a child when his mother feels chilly.
A theory is better than its explanation.
A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it.
A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.
A violent man will die a violent death.
A vivid and creative mind characterizes you.
A well-known friend is a treasure.

LIFE GOES FAST----WHEN WE ARE HAVING FUN !?

READ THIS VERY SLOWLY... IT'S PRETTY PROFOUND.

Too many people put off something that brings them joy just because they haven't thought about it, don't have it on their schedule, didn't know it was coming or are too rigid to depart from their routine.

I got to thinking one day about all those people on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night in an effort to cut back. From then on, I've tried to be a little more flexible.

How many women out there will eat at home because their husband didn't suggest going out to dinner until after something had been thawed? Does the word 'refrigeration' mean nothing to you?

How often have your kids dropped in to talk and sat in silence while you watched 'Jeopardy' on television?

I cannot count the times I called my sister and said, 'How about going to lunch in a half hour?' She would gas up and stammer, 'I can't. I have clothes on the line. My hair is dirty. I wish I had known yesterday, I had a late breakfast, It looks like rain' And my personal favorite: 'It's Monday.' She died a few years ago. We never did have lunch together.

Because People cram so much into their lives, we tend to schedule our headaches.. We live on a sparse diet of promises we make to ourselves when all the conditions are perfect!

We'll go back and visit the grandparents when we get Steve toilet-trained. We'll entertain when we replace the living-room carpet. We'll go on a second honeymoon when we get two more kids out of college.

Life has a way of accelerating as we get older.
running out of time
The days get shorter, and the list of promises to ourselves gets longer.

One morning, we awaken, and all we have to show for our lives is a litany of 'I'm going to,' 'I plan on,' and 'Someday, when things are settled down a bit.'

When anyone calls my 'seize the moment' friend, she is open to adventure and available for trips. She keeps an open mind on new ideas. Her enthusiasm for life is contagious. You talk with her for five minutes, and you're ready to trade your bad feet for a pair of Rollerblades and skip an elevator for a bungee cord.

My lips have not touched ice cream in 10 years. I love ice cream. It's just that I might as well apply it directly to my stomach with a spatula and eliminate the digestive process. The other day, I stopped the car and bought a triple-decker. If my car had hit an iceberg on the way home, I would have died happy.

Now...go on and have a nice day. Do something you WANT to...not something on your SHOULD DO list. If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?

Make sure you read this to the end; you will understand why I posted this for you.

Have you ever watched kids playing on a merry go round or listened to the rain lapping on the ground?

Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight or gazed at the sun into the fading night?

Do you run through each day on the fly?

When you ask 'How are you?' Do you hear the reply?

When the day is done, do you lie in your bed

with the next hundred chores running through your head?

Ever told your child, 'We'll do it tomorrow.'

And in your haste, not see her sorrow?

Ever lost touch? Let a good friendship die?

Just call to say 'Hi'?

When you worry and hurry through your day, it is like an unopened gift.... Thrown away.... Life is not a race. Take it slower.

Hear the music before the song is over.

It Is Two And A Half Minutes To Midnight

https://thebulletin.org/sites/default/files/Final%202017%20Clock%20Statement.pdf
Click above to find out what this means

Where's?

Wher's???? Click here for a larger picture and search away!
Click above for a larger picture and Find away!

Give up? Click here for the answer.

SHOTGUN! Official Rules

Iguana rides shotgun!
The Theory

The term "Shotgun" refers to the front passenger seat of an automobile. "Calling Shotgun" is the act of claiming the position of Shotgun for one's self. As this position is the most coveted of all positions when riding in a car, the following list of rules has been created to ensure that Shotgun can be acquired in a fair and equitable manner by any passenger of an automobile. Click here for the complete set of rules.

Saturday, November 25, 2017

Carrots, Eggs, & Coffee!

Coffee LoverA carrot, an egg, and a cup of coffee...You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again.

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up; she was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, ' Tell me what you see.'

'Carrots, eggs, and coffee,' she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, 'What does it mean, mother?'

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting.. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

'Which are you?' she asked her daughter. 'When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.

Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

Let us all be coffee!

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The Golfing Nun

A nun walks into Mother Superior's office and plunks down into a chair.

She lets out a sigh heavy with frustration. 'What troubles you, Sister?' asked the Mother Superior.. 'I thought this was the day you spent with your family.'

'It was,' sighed the Sister. 'And I went to play golf with my brother. We try to play golf as often as we can. You know I was quite a talented golfer before I devoted my life to Christ.'

'I seem to recall that,' the Mother Superior agreed. 'So I take it your day of recreation was not relaxing?'

'Far from it,' snorted the Sister. 'In fact, I even took the Lord's name in vain today!'

'Goodness, Sister!' gasped the Mother Superior, astonished. 'You must tell me all about it'

'Well, we were on the fifth tee...and this hole is a monster, Mother -540 yard Par 5, with a nasty dogleg left and a hidden green...and I hit the drive of my life. I creamed it. The sweetest swing I ever made.

And it's flying straight and true, right along the line I wanted...and it hits a bird in mid-flight !'

'Oh my!' commiserated the Mother. 'How unfortunate! But surely that didn't make you blaspheme, Sister!'

'No, that wasn't it,' admitted Sister. 'While I was still trying to fathom what had happened, this squirrel runs out of the woods, grabs my ball and runs off down the fairway!'

'Oh, that would have made me blaspheme!' sympathized the Mother..

'But I didn't, Mother!' sobbed the Sister. 'And I was so proud of myself! And while I was pondering whether this was a sign from God, this hawk swoops out of the sky and grabs the squirrel and flies off, with my ball still clutched in his paws!'

'So that's when you cursed,' said the Mother with a knowing smile.

'Nope, that wasn't it either,' cried the Sister, anguished, 'because as the hawk Angry Nunstarted to fly out of sight, the squirrel started struggling, and the hawk dropped him right there on the green, and the ball popped out of his paws and rolled to about 18 inches from the cup!'

Mother Superior sat back in her chair, folded her arms across her chest, fixed the Sister with a baleful stare and said...

'You missed the fucking putt, didn't you?'

Lessons In Leadership


LESSONS IN LEADERSHIP: From a Janitor

Colonel James E. MoschgatWharton Leadership Digest, December 2001
By Colonel James E. Moschgat, Commander of the 12th
Operations Group, 12th Flying Training Wing, Randolph
Air Force Base, Texas


William “Bill” Crawford certainly was an unimpressive figure, one you could easily overlook during a hectic day at the U.S. Air Force Academy. Mr. Crawford, as most of us referred to him back in the late 1970s, was our squadron janitor.

While we cadets busied ourselves preparing for academic exams, athletic events, Saturday morning parades and room inspections, or never-ending leadership classes, Bill quietly moved about the squadron mopping and buffing floors, emptying trash cans, cleaning toilets, or just tidying up the mess 100 college-age kids can leave in a dormitory. Sadly, and for many years, few of us gave him much notice, rendering little more than a passing nod or throwing a curt, “G’morning!” in his direction as we hurried off to our daily duties.

Why? Perhaps it was because of the way he did his job-he always kept the squadron area spotlessly clean, even the toilets and showers gleamed. Frankly, he did his job so well, none of us had to notice or get involved. After all, cleaning toilets was his job, not ours. Maybe it was his physical appearance that made him disappear into the background. Bill didn’t move very quickly and, in fact, you could say he even shuffled a bit, as if he suffered from some sort of injury. His gray hair and wrinkled face made him appear ancient to a group of young cadets.

And his crooked smile, well, it looked a little funny. Face it, Bill was an old man working in a young person’s world. What did he have to offer us on a personal level? Finally, maybe it was Mr. Crawford’s personality that rendered him almost invisible to the young people around him. Bill was shy, almost painfully so. He seldom spoke to a cadet unless they addressed him first, and that didn’t happen very often. Our janitor always buried himself in his work, moving about with stooped shoulders, a quiet gait, and an averted gaze. If he noticed the hustle and bustle of cadet life around him, it was hard to tell. So, for whatever reason, Bill blended into the woodwork and became just another fixture around the squadron. The Academy, one of our nation’s premier leadership laboratories, kept us busy from dawn till dusk. And Mr. Crawford...well, he was just a janitor.

That changed one fall Saturday afternoon in 1976. I was reading a book about World War II and the tough Allied ground campaign in Italy, when I stumbled across an incredible story. On September 13, 1943, a Private William Crawford from Colorado, assigned to the 36th Infantry Division, had been involved in some bloody fighting on Hill 424 near Altavilla, Italy. The words on the page leapt out at me: “in the face of intense and overwhelming hostile fire ... with no regard for personal safety ... on his own initiative, Private Crawford single-handedly attacked fortified enemy positions.” It continued, “for conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity at risk of life above and beyond the call of duty, the President of the United States ...”

“Holy cow,” I said to my roommate, “you’re not going to believe this, but I think our janitor is a Medal of Honor winner.” We all knew Mr. Crawford was a WWII Army vet, but that didn’t keep my friend from looking at me as if I was some sort of alien being. Nonetheless, we couldn’t wait to ask Bill about the story on Monday. We met Mr. Crawford bright and early Monday and showed him the page in question from the book, anticipation and doubt in our faces. He starred at it for a few silent moments and then quietly uttered something like, “Yep, that’s me.”

Mouths agape, my roommate and I looked at one another, then at the book, and quickly back at our janitor. Almost at once we both stuttered, “Why didn’t you ever tell us about it?”

He slowly replied after some thought, “That was one day in my life and it happened a long time ago.”

I guess we were all at a loss for words after that. We had to hurry off to class and Bill, well, he had chores to attend to. However, after that brief exchange, things were never again the same around our squadron. Word spread like wildfire among the cadets that we had a hero in our midst-Mr. Crawford, our janitor, had won the Medal! Cadets who had once passed by Bill with hardly a glance, now greeted him with a smile and a respectful, “Good morning, Mr. Crawford.”

Those who had before left a mess for the “janitor” to clean up started taking it upon themselves to put things in order. Most cadets routinely stopped to talk to Bill throughout the day and we even began inviting him to our formal squadron functions. He’d show up dressed in a conservative dark suit and quietly talk to those who approached him, the only sign of his heroics being a simple blue, starspangled lapel pin.

Almost overnight, Bill went from being a simple fixture in our squadron to one of our teammates. Mr. Crawford changed too, but you had to look closely to notice the difference. After that fall day in 1976, he seemed to move with more purpose, his shoulders didn’t seem to be as stooped, he met our greetings with a direct gaze and a stronger “good morning” in return, and he flashed his crooked smile more often.

The squadron gleamed as always, but everyone now seemed to notice it more. Bill even got to know most of us by our first names, something that didn’t happen often at the Academy. While no one ever formally acknowledged the change, I think we became Bill’s cadets and his squadron.

William 'Bill' CrawfordAs often happens in life, events sweep us away from those in our past. The last time I saw Bill was on graduation day in June 1977. As I walked out of the squadron for the last time, he shook my hand and simply said, “Good luck, young man.”

With that, I embarked on a career that has been truly lucky and blessed. Mr. Crawford continued to work at the Academy and eventually retired in his native Colorado where he resides today, one of four Medal of Honor winners living in a small town.

A wise person once said, “It’s not life that’s important, but those you meet along the way that make the difference.” Bill was one who made a difference for me. While I haven’t seen Mr. Crawford in over twenty years, he’d probably be surprised to know I think of him often. Bill Crawford, our janitor, taught me many valuable, unforgettable leadership lessons. Here are ten I’d like to share with you.

1. Be Cautious of Labels. Labels you place on people may define your relationship to them and bound their potential. Sadly, and for a long time, we labeled Bill as just a janitor, but he was so much more. Therefore, be cautious of a leader who callously says, “Hey, he’s just an Airman.” Likewise, don’t tolerate the O-1, who says, “I can’t do that, I’m just a lieutenant.”

2. Everyone Deserves Respect. Because we hung the “janitor” label on Mr. Crawford, we often wrongly treated him with less respect than others around us. He deserved much more, and not just because he was a Medal of Honor winner. Bill deserved respect because he was a janitor, walked among us, and was a part of our team.

3. Courtesy Makes a Difference. Be courteous to all around you, regardless of rank or position. Military customs, as well as common courtesies, help bond a team. When our daily words to Mr. Crawford turned from perfunctory “hellos” to heartfelt greetings, his demeanor and personality outwardly changed. It made a difference for all of us.

4. Take Time to Know Your People. Life in the military is hectic, but that’s no excuse for not knowing the people you work for and with. For years a hero walked among us at the Academy and we never knew it. Who are the heroes that walk in your midst?

5. Anyone Can Be a Hero. Mr. Crawford certainly didn’t fit anyone’s standard definition of a hero. Moreover, he was just a private on the day he won his Medal. Don’t sell your people short, for any one of them may be the hero who rises to the occasion when duty calls. On the other hand, it’s easy to turn to your proven performers when the chips are down, but don’t ignore the rest of the team. Today’s rookie could and should be tomorrow’s superstar.

6. Leaders Should Be Humble. Most modern day heroes and some leaders are anything but humble, especially if you calibrate your “hero meter” on today’s athletic fields. End zone celebrations and self-aggrandizement are what we’ve come to expect from sports greats. Not Mr. Crawford-he was too busy working to celebrate his past heroics. Leaders would be well-served to do the same.

7. Life Won’t Always Hand You What You Think You Deserve. We in the military work hard and, dang it, we deserve recognition, right? However, sometimes you just have to persevere, even when accolades don’t come your way. Perhaps you weren’t nominated for junior officer or airman of the quarter as you thought you should - don’t let that stop you.

8. Don’t pursue glory; pursue excellence. Private Bill Crawford didn’t pursue glory; he did his duty and then swept floors for a living. No job is beneath a Leader. If Bill Crawford, a Medal of Honor winner, could clean latrines and smile, is there a job beneath your dignity? Think about it.

9. Pursue Excellence. No matter what task life hands you, do it well. Dr. Martin Luther King said, “If life makes you a street sweeper, be the best street sweeper you can be.” Mr. Crawford modeled that philosophy and helped make our dormitory area a home.

10. Life is a Leadership Laboratory. All too often we look to some school or PME class to teach us about leadership when, in fact, life is a leadership laboratory. Those you meet everyday will teach you enduring lessons if you just take time to stop, look and listen. I spent four years at the Air Force Academy, took dozens of classes, read hundreds of books, and met thousands of great people. I gleaned leadership skills from all of them, but one of the people I remember most is Mr. Bill Crawford and the lessons he unknowingly taught. Don’t miss your opportunity to learn.

Bill Crawford was a janitor. However, he was also a teacher, friend, role model and one great American hero. Thanks, Mr. Crawford, for some valuable leadership lessons.

Dale Pyeatt, Executive Director of the National Guard Association of Texas, comments:

And now, for the “rest of the story”: Pvt William John Crawford was a platoon scout for 3rd Platoon of Company L 1 42nd Regiment 36th Division (Texas National Guard) and won the Medal Of Honor for his actions on Hill 424, just 4 days after the invasion at Salerno.

On Hill 424, Pvt Crawford took out 3 enemy machine guns before darkness fell, halting the platoon’s advance. Pvt Crawford could not be found and was assumed dead. The request for his MOH was quickly approved. Major General Terry Allen presented the posthumous MOH to Bill Crawford’s father, George, on 11 May 1944 in Camp (now Fort) Carson, near Pueblo. Nearly two months after that, it was learned that Pvt Crawford was alive in a POW camp in Germany.

During his captivity, a German guard clubbed him with his rifle. Bill overpowered him, took the rifle away, and beat the guard unconscious. A German doctor’s testimony saved him from severe punishment, perhaps death. To stay ahead of the advancing Russian army, the prisoners were marched 500 miles in 52 days in the middle of the German winter, subsisting on one potato a day. An allied tank column liberated the camp in the spring of 1945, and Pvt Crawford took his first hot shower in 18 months on VE Day. Pvt Crawford stayed in the army before retiring as a MSG and becoming a janitor. In 1984, President Ronald Reagan officially presented the MOH to Bill Crawford.

William Crawford passed away in 2000. He is the only U.S. Army veteran and sole Medal of Honor winner to be buried in the cemetery of the U.S. Air Force Academy.

Note: Co. James Moschgat can be contacted at
james.moschgat@randolph.af.mil.
A profile of William Crawford is available here, and his Medal of Honor citation can be found here.

Friday, November 24, 2017

Call me?

I Just Love This!
Call Me?

Put on your thinking cap...


These are pretty clever. Don't rush. Study each picture and try to determine what it represents, before looking at the answer below all the pictures at the bottom of the post with the corresponding letter.

Put on your thinking cap.

A) What is this
B) What is this
C) What is this
D) What is this
E)
F) What is this
G) What is this
H) What is this
I) What is this
J) What is this
K) What is this




A) Assaulted peanut B) eggplant C) Doctor Pepper D) pool table E) Tap dancers F) Card Shark G) I Pod H) Gator-Aide I) Knight mare J) Hole Milk K) Light Beer

How many did you figure out?
C'mon be honest!

Put your score in the comments!