Welcome to 'OZ' - The 'Other' Side of the Rainbow!! Posting is at 10AM, Noon and 2PM CST daily. Up to 12 days of posts on the main page. The archives have more. You can forward posts by clicking on the envelope at the bottom of the post. Enjoy your stay! *** If you need to contact me, or have a copyright issue, please use the "Contact The Wizard" form on the left side of 'OZ'. Original source and author is cited and credited in each post where possible. ***
Tuesday, November 22, 2016
Did God Create Everything?
This is a really great answer to a question you may be asked or have asked. Did God create everything that exists? Does evil exist? Did God create evil?
A University professor at a well known institution of higher learning challenged his students with this question. "Did God create everything that exists?" A student bravely replied "Yes He did". "God created everything?" the professor asked. "Yessir, He certainly did." the student replied.
The professor answered, "If God created everything, then God created evil.
And since evil exists, and according to the principal that our works define who we are, then we can assume God is evil."
The student became quiet and did not answer the professor's hypothetical definition. The professor, quite pleased with himself, boasted to the students that he had proven once more that the Christian faith was a myth.
Another student raised his hand and said, "May I ask you a question, professor?" "Of course", replied the professor. The student stood up and asked, "Professor, does cold exist?" "What kind of a question is this?
Of course it exists. Have you never been cold?" The other students snickered at the young man's question.
The young man replied, "In fact sir, cold does not exist. According to the laws of physics, what we consider cold is in reality the absence of heat. Every body, or object, is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body, or matter, have or transmit energy.
Absolute zero (-460 F) is the total absence of heat; and all matter becomes inert and incapable of reaction at that temperature. Cold does not exist. We have created this word to describe how we feel if we have no heat.
The student continued, "Professor, does darkness exist?" The professor responded, "Of course it does."
The student replied, "Once again you are wrong sir, darkness does not exist either. Darkness is in reality the absence of light. Light we can study, but not darkness. In fact we can use Newton's prism to break white light into many colors and study the various wavelengths of each color. You cannot measure darkness. A simple ray of light can break into a world of darkness and illuminate it. How can you know how dark a certain space is? You measure the amount of light present. Isn't this correct?
Darkness is a term used by man to describe what happens when there is no light present." Finally the young man asked the professor, "Sir does evil exist?"
Now uncertain, the professor responded, "Of course, as I have already said, we see it everyday. It is in the daily examples of man's inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing else but evil.
To this the student replied, "Evil does not exist, sir, or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart. It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat, or the darkness that comes when there is no light."
The professor sat down.
A University professor at a well known institution of higher learning challenged his students with this question. "Did God create everything that exists?" A student bravely replied "Yes He did". "God created everything?" the professor asked. "Yessir, He certainly did." the student replied.
The professor answered, "If God created everything, then God created evil.
And since evil exists, and according to the principal that our works define who we are, then we can assume God is evil."
The student became quiet and did not answer the professor's hypothetical definition. The professor, quite pleased with himself, boasted to the students that he had proven once more that the Christian faith was a myth.
Another student raised his hand and said, "May I ask you a question, professor?" "Of course", replied the professor. The student stood up and asked, "Professor, does cold exist?" "What kind of a question is this?
Of course it exists. Have you never been cold?" The other students snickered at the young man's question.
The young man replied, "In fact sir, cold does not exist. According to the laws of physics, what we consider cold is in reality the absence of heat. Every body, or object, is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body, or matter, have or transmit energy.
Absolute zero (-460 F) is the total absence of heat; and all matter becomes inert and incapable of reaction at that temperature. Cold does not exist. We have created this word to describe how we feel if we have no heat.
The student continued, "Professor, does darkness exist?" The professor responded, "Of course it does."
The student replied, "Once again you are wrong sir, darkness does not exist either. Darkness is in reality the absence of light. Light we can study, but not darkness. In fact we can use Newton's prism to break white light into many colors and study the various wavelengths of each color. You cannot measure darkness. A simple ray of light can break into a world of darkness and illuminate it. How can you know how dark a certain space is? You measure the amount of light present. Isn't this correct?
Darkness is a term used by man to describe what happens when there is no light present." Finally the young man asked the professor, "Sir does evil exist?"
Now uncertain, the professor responded, "Of course, as I have already said, we see it everyday. It is in the daily examples of man's inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing else but evil.
To this the student replied, "Evil does not exist, sir, or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart. It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat, or the darkness that comes when there is no light."
The professor sat down.
From The Emerald City
Q.:What is your real name?
A: Oz's real name is Oscar Zoroaster Phadrig Isaac Norman Henkel Emmannuel Ambroise Diggs. Because the initials spell out the word pinhead, my name has been shortened further to Oz.
Q: Where do you live
A: The Emerald City, of course!
Q: Are you a real wizard?
A: The Wizard appears in a different forms, usually as a giant head, once or twice as a beautiful fairy, once as a ball of fire, and once as a horrible monster. Eventually, ends up that I, Oz, is actually none of these things, but rather an ordinary blogger from Saskatoon Saskatchewan, who has been using a lot of elaborate magic tricks, HTML code and props to make myself seem "great and powerful".
Q: Can you grant things using magic?
A: Nope, I can only show people what they already have... just show them how wonderful they are.
Finally, if you have further questions, go ahead and click below if you are adventurous:
Monday, November 21, 2016
Another World
What if one day we woke up in Another World where we could only breathe underwater.
It's like this that the story begins.
It's like this that the story begins.
Another World from Marta Bevacqua on Vimeo.
Imagine
Imagine
A crossroad puzzle, word jumble,
a faint lick, a quick torn breath,
locomotive rain flood of ties,
as today woke sun struck
this golden boxing glove
without a night fist,
the loss of punch,
a recoil reaction
waiting to see.
Moon clouds
were split in two
and evaporated by
light to let the grasses
raise again to dew. In the
purge of a mourning breeze,
drops slump, along stems to dirt.
The fallen are among us, we moisten
hard earth, where night crawlers
retreat from the madness of
the dark tide. A flick of
wonder slips into the
hole; by instinct an
ant surely knows
not to enter.
Bird tracks
in rutty mud go
back on themselves
to retrace a beginning,
the moment when eyes
constricted to filter light;
blood shot, like a road map,
lets the dead center remain free
to imagine there once was a vision.
R Jay Slais, elllo.com
Sunday, November 20, 2016
Here Are 26 Normal Things Dirtier Than Your Toilet...Life Is So Gross
Warning: One look at these 26 things dirtier than your toilet may ruin you forever.
You may never be able to see the world in the same light again. From restaurant ice to your personal cell phone, just wait 'til you see just how dirty you and the things around you really are. Maybe ignorance truly is bliss.Click here to read them at Viralnova.com
The Case Against a ‘Will & Grace’ Reboot
by BY JOHN HUGAR, Splitsider.com
Back in September, when Donald Trump becoming President was just a remote possibility and not a hard fact that most of us are still swallowing, the cast of Will & Grace reconvened for an “episode” that was really just an ad for Hillary Clinton’s campaign. It didn’t seem to do much for HRC’s voter turnout, but it did create buzz suggesting that maybe the show would produce some actual new episodes. Now, as someone who greatly enjoyed this show growing up, and can still get into the odd rerun on Lifetime, I could see where this would seem like an exciting development. But while it may some fun in theory, there are multiple reasons why Will & Grace 2.0 would be a disaster in practice.
For one thing, the show already had a successful run. It lasted for eight full seasons, and it gave every major character a satisfying conclusion. Usually, when a show is brought back from the dead, it’s because it was canceled too soon in its original run or it left certain pressing questions on the table. Neither of those things are true for Will & Grace, so there’s no real impetus to bring it back other than “Hey, wouldn’t it be fun to watch some new Will & Grace episodes?” Taking this into consideration, it’s quite likely that the show would operate without much purpose other than sheer nostalgia. From that perspective, it would be a somewhat less bad version of Fuller House, but not much more.
Perhaps more importantly, there’s the question of how a new Will & Grace would fit into the culture of 2016. When the show debuted in 1998, it was often praised for its portrayal of gay characters. Notice that I didn’t say how it portrayed them, just the mere fact that yes, Will & Grace did, in fact, acknowledge that gay people existed. That’s how low the bar was in the late 90s, where very few shows were willing to address homosexuality. Now, we live in the world of Modern Family and Transparent, and LGBT representation on television is far more common then it was then. Why would this be a problem? Because if we’re being honest, Will & Grace‘s portrayal of its gay characters often wasn’t all that progressive. The show dealt in obvious stereotypes all the time, and even though Jack McFarland’s antics were always good for a laugh, seeing someone so stereotypically flamboyant might not work in 2016. Even Will, the more down-to-earth of the two main gay characters, was often involved in jokes where the punchline was “see, because gay people do that!” During its original run, Will & Grace was able to get away with this type of humor (although it’s worth noting, it was criticized for it then, too), largely because LGBT representation was so rare. That’s no longer the case, and in a TV landscape where LGBT characters are far more complex than Will and Jack could ever hope to be, Will & Grace‘s broad characterizations might seem lacking at best, and offensive at worst.
If you’re looking for a similar situation to compare this to, consider the unmitigated disaster that was the Entourage movie. This was a case of culture shifting and leaving a once-beloved piece of entertainment behind. When Entourage was in its original run, it was praised effusively by critics, while Ari and Turtle became household names. In theory, a movie seemed perfect. The problem was, this was a show that essentially portrayed white male entitlement at its most unhinged. Furthermore, the female characters on the show often had paper thin personalities and pretty much only existed because the male characters needed them to. At the time, no one really cared because, well…the show was fun! The antics of Johnny Drama and company were just a good time, and no one ever really analyzed them. However, in the time between the end of the series and the release of the movie, modern feminism had an increasingly strong presence in film and television criticism. Suddenly, a show about rich white guys without any real problems just seemed dated, and the movie felt like a relic as it flopped at the box office. A Will & Grace reboot could face a similar fate if it continues to traffic in the stereotypical gay humor that marked its original run.
Admittedly, there are ways to fix this. Since the show ended in 2006, the characters would likely be a decade older, and more mature. This could be an opportunity for some serious evolution, particularly with Jack’s character. If the show were to make him more introspective and less self-involved, that could actually be interesting. Of course, Jack was also a lot of people’s favorite character, so there would have to be a balanced approach. Basically, don’t ruin who he is, but give him a little more depth beyond his outlandish personality, and make him a little bit less aggressively flamboyant. If a new version of Will & Grace was actually willing to evolve its characters, and exist for reasons other than nostalgia, it might actually be worth watching.
Still, I’m skeptical. The show had a good run, and there’s no real reason to bring it back. Frankly, this seems like the kind of idea that the member berries from South Park would have cooked up. “‘Member Will? ‘Member Grace?” “‘Member Jack and Karen?” “Yeah, I ‘member!” As we saw with Fuller House, bringing back a show that already had a lengthy run for no reason other than “Hey, why not?” often produces tepid, uninteresting results. When you couple that with how dubious the show’s trafficking in gay stereotypes might look in 2016, the reasons to be pessimistic about a Will & Grace reboot far outweigh the reasons to be excited about one. Will, Grace, Jack, and Karen had a nice run, but instead of engaging in more nostalgia-for-the-sake-of-nostalgia, let’s just leave them in the early 2000s, where they belong.
For one thing, the show already had a successful run. It lasted for eight full seasons, and it gave every major character a satisfying conclusion. Usually, when a show is brought back from the dead, it’s because it was canceled too soon in its original run or it left certain pressing questions on the table. Neither of those things are true for Will & Grace, so there’s no real impetus to bring it back other than “Hey, wouldn’t it be fun to watch some new Will & Grace episodes?” Taking this into consideration, it’s quite likely that the show would operate without much purpose other than sheer nostalgia. From that perspective, it would be a somewhat less bad version of Fuller House, but not much more.
Perhaps more importantly, there’s the question of how a new Will & Grace would fit into the culture of 2016. When the show debuted in 1998, it was often praised for its portrayal of gay characters. Notice that I didn’t say how it portrayed them, just the mere fact that yes, Will & Grace did, in fact, acknowledge that gay people existed. That’s how low the bar was in the late 90s, where very few shows were willing to address homosexuality. Now, we live in the world of Modern Family and Transparent, and LGBT representation on television is far more common then it was then. Why would this be a problem? Because if we’re being honest, Will & Grace‘s portrayal of its gay characters often wasn’t all that progressive. The show dealt in obvious stereotypes all the time, and even though Jack McFarland’s antics were always good for a laugh, seeing someone so stereotypically flamboyant might not work in 2016. Even Will, the more down-to-earth of the two main gay characters, was often involved in jokes where the punchline was “see, because gay people do that!” During its original run, Will & Grace was able to get away with this type of humor (although it’s worth noting, it was criticized for it then, too), largely because LGBT representation was so rare. That’s no longer the case, and in a TV landscape where LGBT characters are far more complex than Will and Jack could ever hope to be, Will & Grace‘s broad characterizations might seem lacking at best, and offensive at worst.
If you’re looking for a similar situation to compare this to, consider the unmitigated disaster that was the Entourage movie. This was a case of culture shifting and leaving a once-beloved piece of entertainment behind. When Entourage was in its original run, it was praised effusively by critics, while Ari and Turtle became household names. In theory, a movie seemed perfect. The problem was, this was a show that essentially portrayed white male entitlement at its most unhinged. Furthermore, the female characters on the show often had paper thin personalities and pretty much only existed because the male characters needed them to. At the time, no one really cared because, well…the show was fun! The antics of Johnny Drama and company were just a good time, and no one ever really analyzed them. However, in the time between the end of the series and the release of the movie, modern feminism had an increasingly strong presence in film and television criticism. Suddenly, a show about rich white guys without any real problems just seemed dated, and the movie felt like a relic as it flopped at the box office. A Will & Grace reboot could face a similar fate if it continues to traffic in the stereotypical gay humor that marked its original run.
Admittedly, there are ways to fix this. Since the show ended in 2006, the characters would likely be a decade older, and more mature. This could be an opportunity for some serious evolution, particularly with Jack’s character. If the show were to make him more introspective and less self-involved, that could actually be interesting. Of course, Jack was also a lot of people’s favorite character, so there would have to be a balanced approach. Basically, don’t ruin who he is, but give him a little more depth beyond his outlandish personality, and make him a little bit less aggressively flamboyant. If a new version of Will & Grace was actually willing to evolve its characters, and exist for reasons other than nostalgia, it might actually be worth watching.
Still, I’m skeptical. The show had a good run, and there’s no real reason to bring it back. Frankly, this seems like the kind of idea that the member berries from South Park would have cooked up. “‘Member Will? ‘Member Grace?” “‘Member Jack and Karen?” “Yeah, I ‘member!” As we saw with Fuller House, bringing back a show that already had a lengthy run for no reason other than “Hey, why not?” often produces tepid, uninteresting results. When you couple that with how dubious the show’s trafficking in gay stereotypes might look in 2016, the reasons to be pessimistic about a Will & Grace reboot far outweigh the reasons to be excited about one. Will, Grace, Jack, and Karen had a nice run, but instead of engaging in more nostalgia-for-the-sake-of-nostalgia, let’s just leave them in the early 2000s, where they belong.
From The Fabulous George Takei!
The internet says goodbye to Joe Biden with hilarious memes. Donald Trump names white nationalist, Stephen Bannon, as Chief Strategist. Chuck Schumer, Bernie Sanders, and Elizabeth Warren will have leadership roles in the new Senate. Hillary Clinton now leads the popular vote by more than a million votes. The ACLU has raised more than $7 million post-election. Google will soon ban fake news from its ad network. Tinder put out a transgender-inclusive update. And the North Pole is 36 degrees warmer than it should be right now.
I am finally starting to put the heat of the election behind me. I am looking to the future and seeing hope, a brighter tomorrow, a world without fear and a world free of idiocy...
Then Kanye opened his mouth.
If you've enjoyed my weekly emails, please forward them to your friends or have them sign up here: The George Takei Weekly
I am finally starting to put the heat of the election behind me. I am looking to the future and seeing hope, a brighter tomorrow, a world without fear and a world free of idiocy...
Then Kanye opened his mouth.
If you've enjoyed my weekly emails, please forward them to your friends or have them sign up here: The George Takei Weekly
Saturday, November 19, 2016
Angel on Highway 109
They said had run the light
That caused the six-car pileup
On 109 that night.
When broken bodies lay about
"And blood was everywhere,"
"The sirens screamed out eulogies,"
For death was in the air.
"A mother, trapped inside her car,"
Was heard above the noise;
Her plaintive plea near split the air:
"Oh, God, please spare my boys!"
She fought to loose her pinned hands;
"She struggled to get free,"
But mangled metal held her fast
In grim captivity.
Her frightened eyes then focused
"On where the back seat once had been,"
But all she saw was broken glass and
Two children's seats crushed in.
Her twins were nowhere to be seen;
"She did not hear them cry, "
"And then she prayed they'd been thrown free, "
"Oh, God, don't let them die! "
Then firemen came and cut her loose, "
"But when they searched the back, "
"They found therein no little boys, "
But the seat belts were intact.
They thought the woman had gone mad
"And was traveling alone, "
"But when they turned to question her, "
They discovered she was gone.
Policemen saw her running wild
And screaming above the noise
In beseeching supplication,
"Please help me find my boys!
They're four years old and wear blue shirts;
Their jeans are blue to match."
"One cop spoke up, ""They're in my car,
And they don't have a scratch.
They said their daddy put them there
And gave them each a cone, "
Then told them both to wait for Mom
To come and take them home.
"I've searched the area high and low, "
But I can't find their dad.
"He must have fled the scene
I guess, and that is very bad."
The mother hugged the twins and said,
While wiping at a tear,
"He could not flee the scene, you see, "
"For he's been dead a year."
"The cop just looked confused and asked, "
"Now, how can that be true? "
"The boys said, ""Mommy, Daddy came
And left a kiss for you.
He told us not to worry
And that you would be all right, "
And then he put us in this car with
The pretty, flashing light.
We wanted him to stay with us,
Because we miss him so,
But Mommy, he just hugged us tight
And said he had to go.
He said someday we'd understand
And told us not to fuss,"
And he said to tell you, Mommy,
"He's watching over us."
The mother knew without a doubt
That what they spoke was true,
For she recalled their dad's last words,
"I will watch over you."
The firemen's notes could not explain
The twisted, mangled car,
And how the three of them escaped
Without a single scar.
But on the cop's report was scribed,
In print so very fine,
"An angel walked the beat tonight on Highway 109."
ABOUT DRINKING WATER
The following will probably amaze and startle you...
One glass of water shuts down midnight hunger pangs for almost 100% of the dieters studied in a University study.
Lack of water is the #1 trigger of daytime fatigue.
Preliminary research indicates that 8-10 glasses of water a day could significantly ease back and joint pain for up to 80% of sufferers.
A mere 2% drop in body water can trigger fuzzy short-term memory, trouble with basic math, and difficulty focusing on the computer screen or
Drinking 5 glasses of water daily decreases the risk of colon cancer by 45%, plus it can slash the risk of breast cancer by 79%, and one is 50% less likely to develop bladder cancer.
Are you drinking the amount of water you should every day?
(No kidding, all of the above is true...)
Of course, too much water may have strange side effects (see picture below) ...
One glass of water shuts down midnight hunger pangs for almost 100% of the dieters studied in a University study.
Lack of water is the #1 trigger of daytime fatigue.
Preliminary research indicates that 8-10 glasses of water a day could significantly ease back and joint pain for up to 80% of sufferers.
A mere 2% drop in body water can trigger fuzzy short-term memory, trouble with basic math, and difficulty focusing on the computer screen or
Drinking 5 glasses of water daily decreases the risk of colon cancer by 45%, plus it can slash the risk of breast cancer by 79%, and one is 50% less likely to develop bladder cancer.
Are you drinking the amount of water you should every day?
(No kidding, all of the above is true...)
Of course, too much water may have strange side effects (see picture below) ...
Some old, some new...all squeaky clean
Gramma Jones tripped on the stairs and broke her leg.
The doctor put a cast on it and warned that she wasn't to use the stairs until the cast came off.
Four months later he removed the cast and pronounced her well on the way to recovery.
"Oh good," she responded. "Is it all right for me to walk the stairs now?"
"Yes," said the doctor, "if you will promise to be careful."
"I can't tell you what a relief it will be," she sighed. "It was such a nuisance crawling outside and shinnying up and down that drainpipe to my fifth floor apartment all the time!"
The doctor put a cast on it and warned that she wasn't to use the stairs until the cast came off.
Four months later he removed the cast and pronounced her well on the way to recovery.
"Oh good," she responded. "Is it all right for me to walk the stairs now?"
"Yes," said the doctor, "if you will promise to be careful."
"I can't tell you what a relief it will be," she sighed. "It was such a nuisance crawling outside and shinnying up and down that drainpipe to my fifth floor apartment all the time!"
A judge was instructing the jury that a witness was not necessarily to be regarded as untruthful because he changed his statement after he gave it to the police.
"For example," he said, "when I entered my chambers today, I was positive that I had my gold watch in my pocket. But then I remembered that I left in on my nightstand in my bedroom."
When the judge returned home that evening, his wife asked him "Why so much urgency for your watch? Isn't sending three men to pick it up for you a bit extreme?"
"What?" said the judge, "I didn't send anyone for my watch, let alone three people. What did you do?"
"I gave it to the first one," said the wife, "he knew exactly where it was."
When a woman wears leather clothing,
A man's heart beats quicker,
his throat gets dry,
he goes weak in the knees,
and he begins to think irrationally.
Ever wonder why?
Because she smells like a new truck
I took a very classy and absolutely gorgeous lady on our first date the other evening. We had dinner at a very nice restaurant and went to a stage show afterwards. We were getting along fabulously and as the time came to part I drove her to her house and walked her to her front door.
Being a gentleman I thanked her for her company, saying she was so beautiful she reminded me of a wild rambling rose. She thanked me for the compliment and we parted, but not before we arranged to see each other the following evening.
I arrived at her house the next evening as arranged, walked to and knocked on her front door. She came to the door, opened it and punched me right in the mouth.
Somewhat surprised as one would expect, I asked her what had caused her to do that?
She replied, "After you dropped me home last night I was very flattered by the compliment you gave me and looked up wild rambling rose in my encyclopedia. It said that they did not perform well in a bed but when tied to a fence or wall, rooted very well."
Being a gentleman I thanked her for her company, saying she was so beautiful she reminded me of a wild rambling rose. She thanked me for the compliment and we parted, but not before we arranged to see each other the following evening.
I arrived at her house the next evening as arranged, walked to and knocked on her front door. She came to the door, opened it and punched me right in the mouth.
Somewhat surprised as one would expect, I asked her what had caused her to do that?
She replied, "After you dropped me home last night I was very flattered by the compliment you gave me and looked up wild rambling rose in my encyclopedia. It said that they did not perform well in a bed but when tied to a fence or wall, rooted very well."
A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. His wife's tissue type was a match so she offered to donate some of her own skin.
However, the only skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks.
The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honour their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.
After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the man's new face. He looked more handsome than he ever had before! All his friends and relatives just went on and on about his youthful beauty!
One day, he was alone with his wife, and he was overcome with emotion at her sacrifice. He said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. How can I possibly repay you?"
"My darling," she replied, "I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek."
However, the only skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks.
The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honour their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.
After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the man's new face. He looked more handsome than he ever had before! All his friends and relatives just went on and on about his youthful beauty!
One day, he was alone with his wife, and he was overcome with emotion at her sacrifice. He said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. How can I possibly repay you?"
"My darling," she replied, "I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek."
Men...
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "Wha t does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."
And they say blondes are dumb...
"It depends," I replied. "Wha t does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."
And they say blondes are dumb...
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world." The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."
"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She said - That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and pass gas!
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor, or GAY ;-)
A: A rumor, or GAY ;-)
A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish. The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger... Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!! Gotta love that fairy!
A PRAYER....
Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him;
And Patience for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,
I'll beat him to death.
AMEN
Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him;
And Patience for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,
I'll beat him to death.
AMEN
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A: To stop the snoring before it starts.
Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
Q: What is the difference between men and women?
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"
A: They are practicing to be men.
Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A: To stop the snoring before it starts.
Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
Q: What is the difference between men and women?
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"
Friday, November 18, 2016
Hot Dogs for Homophobes
From Late Night with Conan O'Brien....tongue in cheek, eh?
Click above for the movie. (wmv - ~512KB)
Polar bear 'pets' dog in Manitoba
They don't show the rest of the video. The polar bear killed the dog :-(
Thursday, November 17, 2016
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