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| Click above to see more at SlowRobot.com |
Welcome to 'OZ' - The 'Other' Side of the Rainbow!! Posting is at 10AM, Noon and 2PM CST daily. Up to 12 days of posts on the main page. The archives have more. You can forward posts by clicking on the envelope at the bottom of the post. Enjoy your stay! *** If you need to contact me, or have a copyright issue, please use the "Contact The Wizard" form on the left side of 'OZ'. Original source and author is cited and credited in each post where possible. ***
Saturday, January 25, 2014
Bad Lip Reading Is Back with Another Hilarious NFL Version
The talented folks at Bad Lip Reading have done it again with another hilarious NFL version. Jim Harbaugh, Peyton Manning, Philip Rivers and more make it into this year's version.
In case you missed it last year, the first version of "The NFL: A Bad Lip Reading" was great and produced the classic "Orange Peanut" line with Adrian Peterson.
In case you missed it last year, the first version of "The NFL: A Bad Lip Reading" was great and produced the classic "Orange Peanut" line with Adrian Peterson.
Friday, January 24, 2014
This pill allows you to fly
A man went into a bar in a high rise. He saw another man take a pill, take a drink, walk to the window and jump out. He flew around for a minute and zipped back into the bar.
As the amazed newcomer watched, the man repeated this twice more. Finally the man asked if he could have a pill. The flier said it was his last one. The man offered five hundred dollars to no avail, so he made a final offer of a thousand dollars. The man said that it was all he had on him.
The flier reluctantly gave in, took the cash, surrendered the pill, and turned back to the bar. The man took the pill, took a drink, went to the window, and jumped out only to fall to his death. The bartender walked over to the flier at the bar and, wiping a glass, said, "You sure are mean when you're drunk, Superman."
As the amazed newcomer watched, the man repeated this twice more. Finally the man asked if he could have a pill. The flier said it was his last one. The man offered five hundred dollars to no avail, so he made a final offer of a thousand dollars. The man said that it was all he had on him.
The flier reluctantly gave in, took the cash, surrendered the pill, and turned back to the bar. The man took the pill, took a drink, went to the window, and jumped out only to fall to his death. The bartender walked over to the flier at the bar and, wiping a glass, said, "You sure are mean when you're drunk, Superman."
Thursday, January 23, 2014
How Car Computers Work
The guy who sold me my latest car asked me if I knew what was the most different in a car from 2000 and one from 2008... I didn't know. He said 24km of new wiring to and from the onboard computer...
by Karim Nice
Each year, cars seem to get more and more complicated. Cars today might have as many as 50 microprocessors on them. Although these microprocessors make it more difficult for you to work on your own car, some of them actually make your car easier to service.
Some of the reasons for this increase in the number of microprocessors are:
In this article, we'll take a look at how each of these factors has influenced the design of your car.
Sophisticated Engine Controls
Before emissions laws were enacted, it was possible to build acar engine withoutmicroprocessors. With the enactment of increasingly stricter emissions laws, sophisticated control schemes were needed to regulate the air/fuel mixture so that the catalytic converter could remove a lot of the pollution from the exhaust. (See How Catalytic Converters Work for more details.)
Controlling the engine is the most processor-intensive job on your car, and the engine control unit(ECU) is the most powerful computer on most cars. The ECU uses closed-loop control, a control scheme that monitors outputs of a system to control the inputs to a system, managing the emissions and fuel economy of the engine (as well as a host of other parameters). Gathering data from dozens of different sensors, the ECU knows everything from the coolant temperature to the amount of oxygen in the exhaust. With this data, it performs millions of calculations each second, including looking up values in tables, calculating the results of long equations to decide on the best spark timing and determining how long the fuel injector is open. The ECU does all of this to ensure the lowest emissions and best mileage. See How Fuel Injection Systems Work for a lot more detail on what the ECU does.
A modern ECU might contain a 32-bit, 40-MHz processor. This may not sound fast compared to the 500- to 1,000-MHz processor you probably have in your PC, but remember that the processor in your car is running much more efficient code than the one in your PC. The code in an average ECU takes up less than 1 megabyte(MB) of memory. By comparison, you probably have at least 2 gigabytes (GB) of programs on your computer -- that's 2,000 times the amount in an ECU.
--More at How Stuff Works
by Karim Nice
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| Some things controlled by the ECU |
Some of the reasons for this increase in the number of microprocessors are:
- The need for sophisticated engine controls to meet emissions and fuel-economy standards
- Advanced diagnostics
- Simplification of the manufacture and design of cars
- Reduction of the amount of wiring in cars
- New safety features
- New comfort and convenience features
In this article, we'll take a look at how each of these factors has influenced the design of your car.
Sophisticated Engine Controls
Before emissions laws were enacted, it was possible to build acar engine withoutmicroprocessors. With the enactment of increasingly stricter emissions laws, sophisticated control schemes were needed to regulate the air/fuel mixture so that the catalytic converter could remove a lot of the pollution from the exhaust. (See How Catalytic Converters Work for more details.)
Controlling the engine is the most processor-intensive job on your car, and the engine control unit(ECU) is the most powerful computer on most cars. The ECU uses closed-loop control, a control scheme that monitors outputs of a system to control the inputs to a system, managing the emissions and fuel economy of the engine (as well as a host of other parameters). Gathering data from dozens of different sensors, the ECU knows everything from the coolant temperature to the amount of oxygen in the exhaust. With this data, it performs millions of calculations each second, including looking up values in tables, calculating the results of long equations to decide on the best spark timing and determining how long the fuel injector is open. The ECU does all of this to ensure the lowest emissions and best mileage. See How Fuel Injection Systems Work for a lot more detail on what the ECU does.
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| The pins on this connecter interface with sensors and control devices all over the car. |
--More at How Stuff Works
You Need A Robot Snow Plow... Because It's Still Two Months Until Spring
By: Erin Ruberry, SCI (Science Channel)
It's snowing here at Science Channel HQ and it's probably freezing cold or snowingwhere you are too (unless you're in Hawaii. Then don't even talk to us).
With the Return Of The Polar Vortex (yes, it's like a bad horror movie), wouldn't a snow day be so much more relaxing and less 'must get outside and shovel ASAP' if a robot did all the heavy lifting?
Meet the RoboPlow:
It's snowing here at Science Channel HQ and it's probably freezing cold or snowingwhere you are too (unless you're in Hawaii. Then don't even talk to us).
With the Return Of The Polar Vortex (yes, it's like a bad horror movie), wouldn't a snow day be so much more relaxing and less 'must get outside and shovel ASAP' if a robot did all the heavy lifting?
Meet the RoboPlow:
This creation, from the team at ideaLABORATORIES, features a 50-inch blade, six-wheel drive and 660 amps of power. It certainly looks easier -- and more fun! -- than shoveling your own driveway.
RoboPlow isn't alone. One home inventor created this robot snow blower and bragged on YouTube, "The only hazard is trying not to burn your tongue while sipping hot chocolate while clearing the driveway at the same time."
--More at SCI (Science Channel
Oasis juice box holds nasty surprise for Montreal family
from cbc.ca
Chunks of black and green debris found inside Oasis juice box
By Tracey Lindeman, CBC News
Four-year-old Azia Iannantuono got a nasty surprise when she took a sip of her Oasis orange juice last week.
“I was thirsty, so Momma gave me that, and then, it tasted gross,” Azia says.
"She drank and said 'Mommy, this tastes really funny,’” says mother Nancy Iannantuono.
She took a sip of her daughter's juice and also noticed a strange taste.
"So we opened it up, and lo and behold, we saw this disgusting stuff come out of the box."
The family took photos and contacted the juice maker’s parent company, Lassonde Industries, which is based in Rougemont, Que.
They also checked the rest of the juice in the case they bought and found two other boxes were also contaminated with the disgusting debris.
The juice box is stamped with an expiration date of May 5, 2014.
Not a bad batch: Oasis
Iannantuono says the company, which initially replied to her, stopped answering after she sent them the pictures she took.
"They told me not to worry, if she hadn't gotten sick, she wouldn't get sick," Iannantuono says.
A spokesperson for Lassonde Industries told CBC News it tested a sample from the same batch, and says the juice was fine.
--more at cbc.ca
By Tracey Lindeman, CBC News
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| Watch Azia explain her encounter |
“I was thirsty, so Momma gave me that, and then, it tasted gross,” Azia says.
"She drank and said 'Mommy, this tastes really funny,’” says mother Nancy Iannantuono.
She took a sip of her daughter's juice and also noticed a strange taste.
"So we opened it up, and lo and behold, we saw this disgusting stuff come out of the box."
The family took photos and contacted the juice maker’s parent company, Lassonde Industries, which is based in Rougemont, Que.
They also checked the rest of the juice in the case they bought and found two other boxes were also contaminated with the disgusting debris.
The juice box is stamped with an expiration date of May 5, 2014.
Not a bad batch: Oasis
Iannantuono says the company, which initially replied to her, stopped answering after she sent them the pictures she took.
"They told me not to worry, if she hadn't gotten sick, she wouldn't get sick," Iannantuono says.
A spokesperson for Lassonde Industries told CBC News it tested a sample from the same batch, and says the juice was fine.
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| This is a photo of the debris the Iannantuono family found in an Oasis juice box -- more than a week after they extracted it from the juice. See below for pictures taken by Iannantuono shortly after the family's bad juice encounter. (CBC) |
--more at cbc.ca
Gone are the cute Japanese cars of the 70's
These cars are the death traps that I was brought up with. The Datsun 510 door width, including the interior "padding" was like 3 inches. The Honda Civic (CVCC) instrument cluster looked like it came straight off a GoldWing motorcycle. I remember these like it was yesterday.
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| Datsun 510 (Nissan) |
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| Honda Civic |
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| Toyota Corolla |
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
Mean Boyz by Todrick Hall
What If "Mean Girls" Becomes "Mean Boyz"?
"Mean Girls" turns 10 this year. Prepare to feel old watching this parody by Todrick Hall.
"Mean Girls" turns 10 this year. Prepare to feel old watching this parody by Todrick Hall.
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
Men strike back! ! ! ! ! ! !
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.
I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.
I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
A Trip to the Doctor's Office
There is nothing worse than a Doctor's Receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you or, asks, what are you seeing the doctor for today, in a room full of other patients.
A 65-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk.
The Receptionist said, 'Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?'
'There's something wrong with my dick', he replied.
The receptionist became irritated and said, 'You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that.'
'Why not, you asked me what was wrong and I told you,' he said.
The Receptionist replied; 'Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private.'
The man replied, 'You shouldn't ask people questions in a roomful of strangers, if the answer could embarrass anyone. The man walked out, waited several minutes, and then re-entered.
The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, 'Yes??'
'There's something wrong with my ear,' he stated.
The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice.. 'And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?'
'I can't piss out of it,' he replied.
The waiting room erupted in laughter...
Mess with seniors, and you're going to lose.
YOU KNOW YOU'RE LAUGHING!
A 65-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk.
The Receptionist said, 'Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?'
'There's something wrong with my dick', he replied.
The receptionist became irritated and said, 'You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that.'
'Why not, you asked me what was wrong and I told you,' he said.
The Receptionist replied; 'Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private.'
The man replied, 'You shouldn't ask people questions in a roomful of strangers, if the answer could embarrass anyone. The man walked out, waited several minutes, and then re-entered.
The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, 'Yes??'
'There's something wrong with my ear,' he stated.
The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice.. 'And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?'
'I can't piss out of it,' he replied.
The waiting room erupted in laughter...
Mess with seniors, and you're going to lose.
YOU KNOW YOU'RE LAUGHING!
Jesus and the Burglar
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, 'Jesus knows you're here.'
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze.
When he heard nothing more, after a bit, he shook his head and continued.
Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard 'Jesus is watching you.'
Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice..................................
Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.
'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot.
'Yep', the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you that he is watching you.'
The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you ?'
'Moses,' replied the bird.
'Moses?' the burglar laughed.
'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?'
'The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus.'
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze.
When he heard nothing more, after a bit, he shook his head and continued.
Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard 'Jesus is watching you.'
Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice..................................
Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.
'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot.
'Yep', the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you that he is watching you.'
The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you ?'
'Moses,' replied the bird.
'Moses?' the burglar laughed.
'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?'
'The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus.'
Which "Star Wars" Character are You?
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| The Wizard is Queen Amidala, which are you? |
You've ventured to a galaxy far far away, watched all six episodes, and even endured Jar Jar Binks. Now find out which 'Star Wars' character best suits your style. May the force be with you. Click here to find out.
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