Enema Smoker: I could smoke another 20 years before having to worry about butt cancer LOL

This is a real device used over 200 years ago. I would imagine that modern technology would have the smoke accumulated and condensed then infused under pressure into the rectum......weirdly fascinating possibilities.

The Confused Philosopher

-Why is it called a running back when he runs forward?
-What do you call a male ladybug?
-If you strangle a smurf what color does it turn?
-If god sneezes what do you tell him?



-How do the buttons on your phone light up when it isn't plugged in?
-People who can't see are blind and people who can't hear are deaf what do you call people who can't smell?
-How do they get those boats in the glass bottles?
-Why is it called a T.V. set when there's only one?

>

-If its 0 degrees today and they say it will be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is that?
-If IHOP stands for International House of Pancakes, why do you only see it in North America
-Why is it called football when you hardly use your feet?
-Can a guy named nick have a "nick"name?



-Why is it called alcoholics anonymous when the first thing you say is your name?
-Why are semi-trucks bigger than regular trucks?
-If a person owns a piece of land does he own it all the way to the core of the earth?
-Why do they say an alarm clock is going OFF when it's really turning on?



-Does the Prime Minister pay taxes?
-If you wore a teflon suit, can you ever get into a sticky situation?
-If nothing sticks to teflon, how do they get it to stick to the pan?
-If jimmy cracks corn and nobody cares then why is there a song about him?



-And if nobody cares why does he keep doing it?
-Do they have the word dictionary in the dictionary?
-Why is it called a drive through if you have to stop?
-Why are SOFTballs hard?



-Why is it that rain drops and snow falls?
-Does a postman deliver him own mail?
-Does peanut butter really have butter in it?
-Why is it that you ship cargo in a ship but, you have a shipment transported by car?



-Why are boxing rings square?
-What was the best thing BEFORE sliced bread?
-Do sore thumbs really stick out?
-Why do we scrub down and wash up?



-What is the opposite of opposite?
-Why are pennies bigger than dimes?
-Which came first the color orange or the fruit?
-If a cow laughs really hard, does milk come out his nose?



-Can a virus get sick?
-If everything sticks to crazy glue then why doesn't it stick to the bottle?
-Why do they call it your bottom when it is really in the middle of your body?
-Why is the name for fear of long words,
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia?



-Why is it that chicken's are "poultry", while chicken eggs are considered "dairy"?
-How fast do hotcakes sell?
-Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?
-Why do drugstores make sick people walk all the way to the back of the store to buy their medicine while, healthy people can buy cigarettes in the front?
-Don't you find it disturbing that doctors call your treating your ailments their "practice"?



-What do you call a female daddy long legs?
-Why do toasters have a setting that burns your toast to a horrible crisp, that no human in his right mind would eat?
-What do people in China call their good plates?
-If the professor on Gilligan’s Island make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?



-Why is it that people point to their wrist when they want to know the time, but they don't point to their crotch to ask where the bathroom is?
-Can good looking Eskimo girls be called hot?
-If practice makes perfect, and nobody’s perfect, then why practice?
-Is the opposite of "Out of whack", "In whack?



-What do you call male ballerina's?
-Who coined the phrase "coin the phrase"?
-Why would Superman want to "leap a building in a single bound" if he can fly?
-How did the headless horseman know where he was going?



-Why can’t women put mascara on with their mouths closed?
-If a man was alone in a woods, and he said something, would he still be wrong?
-Who was the first person to go, "I'll just squeeze these dangly things on this cow and drink what comes out"?
-If you ate your own tongue, what would it taste like?



-If you tried to fail and succeeded, what did you just do?
-Did they have antiques in the olden days?
-Can blind people see their dreams?
-If there is an exception to every rule, what is the exception to that rule?



-Why is it that Trix are only for kids?
-Why is it called getting your dog "fixed", when afterwards it doesn't work anymore?
-If Wile E. Coyote had so much money for all that Acme Crap, then why didn't he just buy dinner?
-Aren't you tired of people asking you rhetorical questions when you couldn't possibly know the answer?



-What if the hokey-pokey is all it's about?
-Where in the nursery rhyme does it say Humpty-Dumpty is an egg?
-Why are they called strawberries when they have no straw in them?
-Why is it called an eggplant when there’s no egg in them?



-Why do they sterilize needles for Lethal Injections?
-How can you hear yourself think?
-If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
-If the Flinstone's where from B.C. (before Christ) then why do they have Flintstones Thanksgiving and Flintstone Christmas?



-Why don't Piranha eat each other?
-Why don't fish get cramps when they, eat then swim?
-Can a fish choke on a fish bone?
-If chimps are so smart why don't we replace our government with them?(oops too late!)



-If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
-Do one legged ducks swim in circles?
-What size is a penguin’s tux?
-How do they get the deer to cross the road at the yellow signs?



-If a stealth bomber crashes in a woods, does he make a sound?
-How can you tell a clam is happy?
-If a mute person swears, does his mom make him wash his hands with soap?
-If Fed-Ex and UPS where to merge, would they be called Fed-UP?



-If a synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
-If vegetarians eat only vegetables, what humanitarians eat?
-Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
-Is there a DR. Salt?



-Why are the obituaries found in the "living" section of the newspaper?
-How can somebody be dirt poor, while another is filthy rich?
-Why do black olives come in cans yet green olives come in jars?



-Did Noah keep the bees in an archive?
-If you’re in hell, and you’re mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?
-If there was a sign makers strike, would anything be written on the sign?
-If the energizer bunny attacks someone, is he charged with battery?



-If your plan is to have no plan, do you have a plan?
-If anything’s possible, is it possible that nothings possible?
-What do mermaids eat?
-Why are rubber duckies yellow when real duckies aren't?



-Do sheep get static cling when they rub against each other?
-Do siamese twins pay for 1 or 2 tickets when going to the movies?
-Isn't it scary that the word 'therapist" is "the" and "rapist" put together?
-If you had X-ray vision and closed your eyes, would you still see?



-How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll?
-Why do they call them "Animal Crackers" when they're not crackers, they're cookies?
-Have Ex-cowboys become deranged?
-Have Ex-dry cleaners become depressed?

A Fact Of Life

*Thanks, Gary

The Love Doctor

Dear Love Doctor,

I recently found porn pictures saved on my fiance's computer, I was upset not so much that he was looking at the pictures, but more so that he had them saved, especially because I thought he always made himself out to be so divine and different from other men, he loaths other men that behave direspectful to women. I called him a liar and a hypocrite for having those pictures, I said he was acting like the men he loaths. We've since then dealt with the issue and he no longer has the pictures. I just recently came from a pleasure party at a girlfriends house and purchased a vibrator, out of curiosity, not because I'm unhappy or unsatisfied. I've never owned one before, this is my first time. I also bought a couple things for him and I to enjoy together. My fiance found out about my toy and is upset. I told him he is insecure, he says I'm a hypocrite. I think there's a big difference from his saved porn pictures that he lied about from my toy that I never lied to him about. Is he just being insecure? or am I a hypocrite?

Signed,

Am I really?

Dear Hippo,

Yes. Yes you are. No seriously, Men are visual creatures when it comes to sexual arousal. Ask your husband to download the pictures again, look at them before, or even during your next love making session and suprise him with the vibrator! Be forwarned, though! Make sure that he doesn't fall in love with it or he may just give up the pictures and spend more alone time with 'Your' new best friend!

The Love Doctor

--Send your questions about love to "The Love Doctor" directly from 'OZ' - The 'Other' Side of the Rainbow! I have added an email link that goes direct to The Love Doctor - this will enable quicker responses from him. You can do this by clicking on his picture in the sidebar and put your question in the email. This will ensure that The Love Doctor gets your question. The Love Doctor forwards his replies to me for posting consideration. Note: Due to the high volume of letters that The Love Doctor receives, not all letters will be posted on 'OZ' - but the Love Doctor will reply to every email. (so he says)

Neglected Books

An interesting read:

“Good Books That Almost Nobody Has Read” and “More About Neglected Books,” from The New Republic magazine, 1934

Read it all here.

excerpt from "The Great Fake Book", by Vance Bourjaily (justifiably neglected):

“Hello?”
“Is that my finger-lickin’ chicken?”
“Hello Darlene.”
“Whompsie, did you get an answer from your friend Mr. Johnson?”
“I just found it in the mailbox.”
“I got one, too. To my li’l physical description of you.”
“That right? What’s he say?”
“He sent me his Style Book, and a bill for three dollars.”
“Going to pay?”
“What’s your letter say?”
“I’m about to pour me a drink and sit down with it.”
“Be sure it’s not a letter bomb. You’ll get vodka on your podka.”
“Night, Darlene.”
“Night, light.”

*Thanks, Gary

Pudding, You Say?

*Thanks, Gary

Vancouver Canucks New Dressing Room

Ok maybe I should have paid more attention in PhysEd


Welcome to the Canucks' inner sanctum: The Vancouver Canucks have a brand new dressing room at GM Place featuring a new oval-shaped uniform room, a kitchen, computer work stations, whirlpools and new modern lockers and dressing room. It will also be used by Team Canada during the 2010 Olympics.

Photograph by: Jenelle Schneider, Vancouver Sun

Dressing Room


Dressing Room



Snack room/ Player's Lounge



Whirlpool



Bathroom



Lounge...sinks...shaving area



Players Showers



Locker Room/Change Room (Players leave valuables before heading into dressing room for hockey gear)



Physical Therapy Room



Medical Room




Players' Lounge



Computer Workstations in the Players Lounge



Dressing Room


DRESSING ROOM


Luongo's Stall



DRESSING ROOM


Harvey Jones...Canucks Vice President and General Manager, Arena Operations


Equipment trainer Pat O'Neill (left) and Mike Burnstein, medical trainer, helped design the Vancouver Canucks new dressing room at GM Place.

*Thanks, Daryn