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Monday, August 21, 2006

HOLY COW!


Farmer

The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range.

Three weeks later, a cow walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth.

The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes.

He took the precious book out of the cow's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed,

“It's a miracle!”

“Not really,” said the cow.

Cow with Bible

“Your name is written inside the cover.”


*Thanks, SalTCBug!

Cool!

This is without a doubt one of the coolest PC-Illusions that I have seen so far.



Cool Illusion


Follow these instructions:

1. Relax and concentrate on the 4 small dots in the middle of the picture for about 30 seconds.

2. Take a look at a blank space on a wall near you.

3. You will see a circle of light developing.

4. Start blinking your eyes a couple of times and you will see a figure emerging.

What do you see? Or better, WHO do you see?


M*A*S*H Trivia

Click here for MASH Trivia

Click above

The Falling Woman


The Falling Woman

Click Above. Fascinating. If she gets stuck pull on her with your mouse. Throw her even!

*Thanks, Auntie 'M'

DID YOU KNOW THAT POTATO SPROUTS ARE POISONOUS?


Dancing Potatoes

There is no problem with the potato; just cut off the sprouts, and it's fine for eating. A sprout of any size can be toxic, but you'd have to eat many sprouts to get sick. Do not buy if they have sprouted or have a green tint to the skin. The same is true for potatoes that turn a greenish hue. A potato in this condition is "light-struck." This happens when a chemical, just beneath the potato's skin, reacts to light. The green part will taste a little bitter, but if you peel it off, the rest of the potato will taste fine.


DAFFY-NITIONS

Click here for Daffy-Nitions!
Click above for some Daffy-Nitions.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Riddle Me This!

Romeo and Juliet are found dead on the floor in a bedroom. When they were discovered, there were pieces of glass and some water on the floor. The only furniture in the room is a shelf and a bed. The house in is a remote location, away from everything except for the nearby railway track. What caused the death of Romeo and Juliet?


Riddle me this! -Answer. Click here

Click above for the answer.

If Ya Have To Squint....


If ya hafta squint....

You know its HOT in Canada when..


Moose in wading pool 
The MOOSE got into the KIDS POOL... 
  Moose in wading pool
*Thanks, SalTCBug

Can You See it?

There is a hidden picture inside the picture below. It can be seen in 3D without 3D glasses! Take a hard look and see if you can find the 'hidden dinosaur...

Hidden Dino
*Magic Eye

Laugh Of The Day

I have a Golden retriever & I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. 

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. 

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her. Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me. I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.

*Thanks, Daryn

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Masonic Symbolism and 'The DaVinci Code'

Since the successful book The DaVinci Code by Dan Brown and the blockbuster movie of the same name there has been more interest in "secret societies" such as Freemasonry. I will try to shed what 'light' I can on a basic level of what Freemasonry is, what Freemasons do and why.

First of all, I will tell you that I am a 3rd Degree Mason. I was looking for something more in life and I found that Freemasonry held the promise of a 'richer' life. And lo and behold! I became a Mason. I found (and still do!) it fascinating learning all about Freemasonry and was suprised at how much I had to learn to get through the degrees. To be clear... whilst Freemasonry has it's roots in 'operative masonry' (ie: The builders of King Soloman's Temple were operative masons, in that they worked with stones. They also had 3 degrees of masons, the entered apprentice, whose job was to learn the basics about building and to take large rocks and make them in to rough stones. These were then worked on by the fellocraft masons who were also called 'huewers' as they made the stones into rough ashlers. Then the master masons would take the stones, and applying the secrets of their craft, make the rough ashlers into perfect ashlers. The lower degree masons did not know the secrets that their higher ranking 'guild brothers' (akin to a union of sorts), only what they needed until they proved that they could do the work perfectly.

Freemasonry, operates under the apron of 'Speculative Masonry', since we do not actually work with rocks, eh? We pass through the various degrees learning gradually, the secterts as we make a symbolic journey from Entered Apprentice to Fellocraft to Master Mason. Each degree has more responsability and gets progressively difficult. An interesting note about handshakes and 'secret words'.. I will not tell them to you, (though they are available courtesy of Google), was origionally a way for masons to find out what degree the mason was... and they had to prove that they were of the rank to which they were trying to get access to. The secrets of each degree were held most dear as they were literally the key to their livelihoods. In Freemasonry, the same can be said, but instead of the knowledge of building and forming stones, the secrets deal with bringing a mason to the light, as in knowledge. Today, Masons use the same words and handshakes as well as 'regailia' (Aprons, just as the operative masons wore to protect their clothing!

I started as an "Entered Apprentice" and then was passed to the degree of a Fellowcraft and finally 'raised' to the sublime degree of a Master Mason. I learned much about what makes good men better and I still hold Masonic values very close to my heart.

Its main motto is "Liberty, Equality, Fraternity"

Some Masons define it as "a beautiful system of morality veiled in allegory and illustrated by symbols"... also as "the realization of God by the practice of Brotherhood": To reach God by doing good works to your neighbor...

It has been described as "the biggest, richest, most secret and most powerful private force in the world"... and certainly, "the most deceptive", both for the general public, and for the first 3 degrees of "initiates": Entered Apprentice, Fellow Craft, and Master Mason (the basic "Blue Lodge")...

These Initiates are purposely deceived!, in believing they know every thing, while they don't know anything about the true Masonry... in the words of Albert Pike, whose book "Morals and Dogma" is the standard monitor of Masonry, and copies are often presented to the members, "the first three degrees are but the outer court of the Temple. Part of the symbols are displayed there to the Initiate, but he is intentionally mislead by false interpretations. It is not intended that he shall understand them; but it is intended that he shall imagine he understand them... it is well enough for the mass of those called Masons to imagine that all is contained in the Blue Degrees" ("Morals and Dogma", p.819).

Masonry: (form the french "mason", "stone masons"), started in the 13th century as a "Union of Workers" of the cathedral builders to help each other; it was the "working" or "operative masonry", meeting in "lodges".

Freemasonry: With the decline of cathedral building, some lodges of operative masons begun to accept honorary members to bolster their declining membership... and from here, "Freemasonry" was born, not to build "cathedrals", but to build "cathedrals of men", and "the cathedral of the whole world"... it is the "speculative masonry", adopting the rites and trappings of ancient religions, orders, sects, the occult, and chivalric brotherhoods.


MASONIC SYMBOLS:



- Compass and square forming the triangle of God, with the letter "G" in the center, or the "eye" of God... or on top of an open Bible.
- They are the 3 indispensable jewels of a Lodge, representing "equality, liberty, and fraternity".
- The "compass" is the male element, represents solidarity, by making a circle; the "square", the female element, represents righteousness. Remember balance from the book The DaVinci Code? well there it is in Freemasonry!

Below you will find the explanations for the various ideas and items used in Masonry, or "The Craft" - (NOT WITCHCRAFT!!!), as we refer to it. The letter "G" by the way, stands for "Geometry" and "GOD" as you will see below... but again, dating back to the building of Soloman's Temple, it means much more than that:

The Square and Compass

Blue Lodge Masons (I am one) are taught that the Square is to remind them that they must be "square" in their dealings with all men, i.e., to be honest. The Compass, they are taught, is to teach them to "circumscribe their passions," i.e. to control their desires and to be temperate. The real meaning of these "great lights," however, is sexual. The Square represents the female (passive) generative principle, the earth, and the baser, sensual nature; and the Compass represents the male (active) generative principle, the sun/heavens, and the higher, spiritual nature. The Compass, arranged above the Square, symbolizes the (male) Sun, impregnating the passive (female) Earth with its life-producing rays. The true meanings, then are two-fold: the earthly (human) representations are of the man and his phallus, and the woman with her receptive cteis (vagina). The cosmic meaning is that of the active Sun (deity, the Sun-god) from above, imparting life into the passive Earth, (deity, the earth/fertility goddess) below and producing new life


Square, Compass and Bible on the Altar with a degree Mason kneeling in front


The Letter "G"

The Blue Lodge Mason is taught that the "G" in the Masonic symbol represents God. Later on, he is told that it also represents "deity." Later still, he is told that it represents "geometry." In reality, this letter represents the "generative principle," the Sun-god and, thus, the worshipped phallus, the male "generative principle…" In its position (along with the Square and Compass) on the east wall over the chair (throne) of the Worshipful Master, it is the representation of the Sun, thus of the Sun-god, Osiris. Its earthly meaning, then, is of the sacred phallus; its cosmic meaning is of the Sun, worshipped since antiquity by pagans while facing the East.

The "G" and the "YOD"

The English letter "G" in Masonic symbolism is inseparable from, and identical with, the Hebrew letter "YOD." This "YOD" is the symbol on the Scottish Rite ring. "YOD" represents deity in general (its cosmic meaning), and the worshipped phallus in particular (its earthly meaning). Albert Pike wrote that the "G" displayed in English speaking lodges is merely a corruption of the "YOD" (with which it should be replaced), and that "the mysterious YOD of the Kabala" is the "image of the Kabalistic Phallus." The "Kabalah" he refers to here is a medieval book of the occult, a highly mystical and magical interpretation of the Bible, and important sourcebook for sorcerers and magicians.

The Point Within a Circle

The Masons of the Blue Lodge are taught that the Point within a Circle represents the individual Mason (the Point), contained and restricted by the boundary line of his duty (the Circle). Its real meaning, however, is that of the phallus, positioned within the female generative principle (sex organ), the climactic act of Sun-god worship.

Dr. Albert Mackey, already quoted herein, also writes in his classic work "Symbolism of Freemasonry," page 352, "Phallus, a representation of the virile member which was venerated as a religious symbol… It was one of the modifications of sun worship, and was a symbol of the fecundating power of that luminary. The Masonic point within a circle is undoubtedly of phallic origin."

The Vertical Lines

The two vertical lines touching the sides of the circle are represented to the Blue Lodge Mason as "the Holy Saints John." By this is meant John the Baptist and John the Apostle. In reality, the two vertical lines represent the Summer and Winter Solstices, the shortest and longest nights of the year, respectively. These nights are, and have been since antiquity, important periods for pagan worship.

Concerning these two lines, Albert Mackey has written ("Symbolism of Freemasonry," page 352), "The lines touching the circle in the symbol of the point within a circle are said to represent St. John the Baptist and St. John the Evangelist, but they really refer to the solstitial points, Cancer and Capricorn, in the Zodiac."

The Bible

The Bible, only one of the "Three Great Lights" of Masonry (along with the Square and Compass), is represented to Blue Lodge Masons as symbolizing truth. In reality, the Bible may be replaced with the Koran, the Book of the Law, The Hindu scriptures or any other "holy book," depending on the preferences of the men in the Lodge. In most American Lodges, the members are told that all the Masonic system and its rituals are "based on the Bible." Such, however is not the case. In Chase's "Digest of Masonic Law," pages 207-209, it is clearly written that "Masonry has nothing whatever to do with the Bible," and that "it is not founded upon the Bible, for if it were it would not be Masonry, it would be something else."

Albert Pike, in writing on the subject of Masonry's source-book said, "Masonry is a search after light. That search leads us directly back, as you see, to the Kabalah." (Morals and Dogma, page 741). The Kabalah, then, seems to be the actual sourcebook of Masonry and the Bible merely (as it is spoken of in the ritual) a piece of the "furniture" of the Lodge.

NOTE: For more information concerning Masonic symbols and their true meanings, see McQuaig, C.F., "The Masonic Report," Answer Books and Tapes, Norcross, GA, 1976; Storms, E.M., "Should a Christian Be a Mason?," New Puritan Library, Fletcher NC 1980; and Mackey, Albert G., "Symbolism of Freemasonry," Charles T. Powner Co., Chicago 1975.

By the way....Freemasonry is made up uf several 'concordant bodies', most you have heard of but did not know they are part of Masonry:

York Rite
Royal Arch Masons
Mark Master
Virtual Past Master
Most Excellent Master
Supreme Order of the Holy Royal Arch
Council of Royal and Select Masters (Cryptic Rite)
Royal Master
Select Master
Super Excellent Master
Royal Ark Mariner
Preceptory of Knights Templar
Illustrious Order of the Red Cross
Order of Saint Paul
Order of Saint John or Malta
Order of the Knights Templar

Scottish Rite Lodge of Perfection

4° Secret Master

5° Perfect Master

6° Confidential [Intimate] Secretary

7° Provost and Judge

8° Intendent of the Building

9° Elu, or Elected Knight, of the Nine

10° Illustrious Elect or Elu of the Fifteen

11° Sublime Knight Elect, or Elu, of the Twelve

12° [Grand] Master Architect

13° Knight of the Ninth Arch, or Royal Arch of Solomon

14° Grand Elect, Perfect and Sublime Mason, or Perfect Elu

Chapter of Rose Croix

15° Knight of the Sword [of the East]

16° Prince of Jerusalem

17° Knight of the East and West

18° Knight [Prince] Rose Croix


Illustrated thusly:


Click Above for a bigger picture. Complicated, eh?


Appendant Bodies

Women’s Orders
Amaranth
Order of the Eastern Star
Daughters of the Nile
White Shrine

Youth Orders
De Molay
Job’s Daughters
Rainbow Girls


Also interesting..



Shriners (also know as Ancient Arabic Order, Nobles of the Mystic Shrine or "AAONMS")... are part of Freemasonry and sometimes referred to as, 'The playground of the Masons'... All Shriners are Masons, but not all Masons are Shriners!




That's enough for now...

Finally an 'Easy Button' that does something worthwhile!


Easy Button

Click Above. You'll thank me for it!

Elderley Sex

Ma and Pa, both 91, lived in a retirement community.

 
They met in the social centre and discovered over time that they enjoyed each other's company.

After several weeks of meeting for coffee, Pa asked Ma out for dinner and, much to his delight, she accepted.

They had a lovely evening. They dined at the most romantic restaurant in town. And despite his age, Pa was still a charmer.

Afterward, Pa asked Ma to join him at his place for an after-dinner drink. Things continued along a natural course and age being no inhibitor, Ma soon joined Pa for a most enjoyable roll in the hay.

As they were basking in the glow of the magic moments they'd shared, each was lost for a time in their own thoughts.

Pa was thinking: "If I'd known she was a virgin, I'd have been more gentle."

Ma was thinking: "If I'd known he could still do it, I'd have taken off my pantyhose."


TRUE or FALSE?


True or False - You decide!


Rochambeau, the “rock, paper, scissors” game, originated in Egypt in 2000 B.C.



TRUE! The game, played by “throwing” hand signs, traveled to Greece and then on to the Romans, where they called it Micatio. It was used to settle disputes over merchandise transactions in the forums and was so common in ancient Rome that there was a proverb to describe an honest person: Dignus est quicum in tenebris mices, which means: “Trustworthy enough to play Micatio in the dark with him.”

RPC Official Rules

Rock, Paper, Scissors, sharing a moment

Friday, August 18, 2006

QUESTIONS FOR GOD......FROM THE DOG


Doggy


Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God: When we get to heaven,can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the Chrysler Beagle"?

Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths What do humans understand?

Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog:

1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

3. I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box, although they are tasty.

4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.

5. The sofa is not a 'face towel'. Neither are Mom and Dad's laps.

6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

8. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration.

9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello".

11. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.

12. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.

13. I will not throw up in the car.

14. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when we have company.

16. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.


And, finally, my last question...







Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?

*Thanks, Rimsky

Japan's "OCEANDOME"


Here's another nice piece of engineering and construction.

This time the locale is JAPAN. Here's the exterior shot of the building. Note the surrounding area . . mountains, sea shore, golf course, residential area.



Japan's Oceandome


What do you think is inside this building?



It's an "O C E A N D O M E"


Japan's Oceandome


Imagine a beach where the sky is always blue, it's never too hot or cold, the water isn't filled with salt and pollution, and the surf is always perfect - welcome to Ocean Dome, the world's only indoor beach.



Japan's Oceandome


Ocean Dome has its own flame-spitting volcano, crushed white marble "sand", and it also boasts the world's largest retractable roof, providing a permanently blue sky. Temperature, wind and humidity are closely controlled to provide an ultra-safe "sea-side" experience. Every hour, the volcano erupts and the hi-tech wave machines start up, starting a few minutes of sanitized surfing. Entrance cost is US $50 per person, which seems especially expensive given that there is a free, natural beach only 300 meters away.



Japan's Oceandome


The roof is retractable . . so the SURF'S UP . rain or shine!



Japan's Oceandome


Japan's Oceandome


Japan's Oceandome


When the roof is closed, you still get blue sky and puffy white clouds.


*Thanks, Auntie 'M'

Couple o' grins

"A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always count on the support of Paul."

Of course, Paul's support is obvious, but it is equally obvious that to rob from Peter to pay Paul will make Peter very, very angry.

My question is this: "How can you run a good government with a sore Peter?"

WOO! HOO!

An American traveling through Europe is riding a train in Germany. At one point, the ticket inspector comes into the compartment, punches the passengerís ticket, and then chats cordially in German for a bit, making gestures like a windmill. The man, who speaks no German, simply smiles and nods from time to time to show that he is interested.

Finally, the ticket inspector bows and leaves the compartment. At that point, a woman sitting across from the man leans forward and says in English, "You don't speak any German, do you?"

"No," the man says.

"Then that explains why you didn't bat an eye when he told you that you were on the wrong train, going in the wrong direction and that the next stop is an hour from now."

WOO! HOO!


*Thanks, SalTCBug

TRUE or FALSE?


Buster Keaton was the illegitimate son of Harry Houdini. 


 He was born Joseph Francis Keaton in 1895. Buster’s parents, Joe and Myra, were players in the Mohawk Indian Medicine Company, a traveling vaudeville revue that also boasted the talents of escape artist Harry Houdini. Buster’s showbiz debut came early when his mother and father, absorbed in their acrobatic comedy act, didn’t notice that their son had crawled onstage, much to the audience’s delight. Buster was quickly recruited into the act.

The only real surfer in the Beach Boys was Dennis Wilson. 


 Dennis, the second of the three Wilson brothers—Brian was the eldest, Carl the youngest—was the only one who actually surfed. The three brothers formed the Beach Boys in 1961, along with cousin Mike Love and pal Al Jardine.

If you are struck by lightning, your socks and shoes may help prevent injury. 


 If you’re struck by lightning, your shoes and socks will likely be knocked off. Rapid heating, evaporation, and expansion of sweat on your skin literally blows your clothes off. If this happens, the current does not enter the body and should not cause injury.

By law, the U.S. Gold Bullion Depository at Fort Knox, Kentucky, may contain only gold. 


 Fort Knox has stored our own Declaration of Independence, the U.S. Constitution, the Articles of Confederation, Lincoln’s Gettysburg address, and three volumes of the Gutenberg Bible. Valuable items for other governments have also been stored there, including the Magna Carta, not to mention the crown, sword, scepter, orb, and cape of St. Stephen, king of Hungary.

Chief Sitting Bull died in “Custer’s Last Stand” at the Battle of Little Big Horn. 


 Sitting Bull did not participate in the massacre—though he was blamed for it. The leader of the Lakota Sioux had a vision in 1876 that spurred 3,500 Cheyenne and Sioux to attack General Custer at Little Big Horn. Sitting Bull was hunted down, captured, and confined to Fort Buford.

Certain U.S. coins are minted with ridges on their edges for a better grip. 


 Called “reeding,” the ridges on the U.S. dollar, half-dollar, quarter, and dime were placed there because these coins were once made of precious metal. The reeded edges discouraged counterfeiting and fraudulent use, such as filing off the edges to recover the silver. Now, most coins are made of far less expensive nickel-clad copper. Nickels and pennies, which have smooth edges, have never contained precious metal and therefore weren’t reeded.

The actor who portrayed the “Marlboro Man” for the world’s best-selling cigarette died of lung cancer. 


 Actually, many models and cowboys were used in television and print ads for the Phillip Morris tobacco company, but two of them, Wayne McLaren and David McLean, died of cancers that began in their lungs. McLaren appeared in an anti-smoking ad near the end of his life in 1992, while McLean’s widow filed a wrongful death suit against Phillip Morris, Inc. a year after her husband’s death in 1996, claiming the company’s cigarettes were the cause of his cancers. A judgment in the suit is still pending.

Lebanon is the only country in the Middle East that does not have a desert. 


 Once part of the Fertile Crescent, which was home to the Phoenicians, Lebanon is essentially a valley set between two mountain ranges. The mountains are rough and rocky, but Lebanon is generally considered a “green” country—an astonishing anomaly compared to the rest of the Arab Middle East, which is 90% desert.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

'City Slickers' Actor Bruno Kirby Dies

Bruno Kirby

 LOS ANGELES - Bruno Kirby, a versatile character actor with a flair for comedy who was best known for his roles in "When Harry Met Sally … " "City Slickers" and "Good Morning, Vietnam," has died. He was 57.

Kirby died Monday in a Los Angeles hospital from complications of recently diagnosed leukemia, said family spokesman Bill Harrison.