Aerobics For Your Brain

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You know you are addicted to coffee if ...

You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
You sleep with your eyes open.
You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.
You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.
You've worn out your third pair of tennis shoes this week.
Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
You chew on other people's fingernails.
The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
You're so jittery that people use your hands to blend their margaritas.
You can type sixty words per minute with your feet.
You can jump-start your car without cables.
You don't sweat, you percolate.
You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
People get dizzy just watching you.
Instant coffee takes too long.
You channel surf faster without a remote.
You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
You short out motion detectors.
You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
You help your dog chase its tail.
You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.
Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.
You ski uphill.
You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.
You answer the door before people knock.
You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.

Don't Let Allergies Keep Your Child Inside This Summer

(ARA) - "My favorite part of summer is when the whole neighborhood gets together to play a huge game of tag," exclaims 11-year-old Abigail Lafferty from Pennsylvania. "That and no school for three months!"

For kids - and their parents - who have waited months to get outside to play, warm and sunny days mean it's time for tee ball, skateboarding, swimming and tons of outdoor fun.
But for children who suffer from seasonal allergies, warmer weather can mean the onset of symptoms such as sneezing, itchy, watery eyes, runny nose and itchy throat.

"More than 6 million children suffer from seasonal allergies that can be triggered during outdoor physical activity," says nationally renowned pediatrician Dr. Jennifer Trachtenberg, who is a member of the American Academy of Pediatrics.

A mother of three and a clinical instructor at Mount Sinai Medical Center in New York, Dr. Trachtenberg recommends giving your child an allergy medication that is designed for children, like Children's Benadryl(R) Allergy Fastmelt(R) tablets, which can help relieve allergy symptoms and get them back outside. The easy-to-use, rapidly dissolving tablets offer an effective, painless solution for getting your child to take his medication.

Allergies are not the only thing that can curtail summer fun. Dehydration, skinned knees, stinging insects and sunburn can also prevent your child from enjoying outdoor activities.

"Before you send your kids out to play, be sure to take a few common-sense precautions," says Dr. Trachtenberg.

Here are some summer outdoor safety tips for parents based not only on her years of practicing medicine, but also her experience as a mom to two young boys and a little girl.

1. Don't get burned - Apply sunscreen to children generously and let it soak in for 15 to 30 minutes before they go outside. Cover all exposed skin, including ears, nose and neck and apply an SPF 15 lip screen as well. Make sure to reapply every two hours, or more often if kids are sweating or swimming.

2. Beware of poisonous weeds - Know how to identify poison ivy, poison sumac and poison oak - all are plants that produce a sap that can cause a red, swollen rash or blisters. Poison ivy has bright green leaves consisting of three irregular leaflets. Small greenish flowers grow in bunches attached to the main stem. Poison oak also has three leaflets, but the lobes are much more deeply cut. Poison sumac has green flowers and loose clusters of white fruits.

3. Bee careful - Keep bees away by having kids avoid perfumed soaps, shampoos and deodorants and wearing light-colored clothes, which attract fewer bees than dark clothes. If a bee does land on your child, tell him to act like a statue - swatting at a bee can encourage it to sting. If your child gets stung, wash the area with soap and water and apply ice to reduce the swelling.

4. Stay hydrated - Make sure your kids drink adequate liquids before, during and after outdoor activities. Kids can get easily dehydrated when they spend a lot of time outdoors, so know the symptoms: thirst, weakness, headaches, dark-colored urine or a slight decrease in body weight.

5. Minor scrapes - When your child ends up with skinned knees or elbows, stop the bleeding with direct pressure, and remember to follow the 3C's: Clean the wound with a gentle soap and water; Coat with an antibiotic ointment to prevent infection and help reduce scarring; and Cover the wound with a sterile bandage to protect it from further injury.

Keeping these simple guidelines in mind will ensure that both kids and parents have a fun, relaxing summer.

For more information on seasonal allergy prevention or Children's Benadryl Allergy Fastmelt tablets, visit www.benadrylusa.com .

300,000 attend Gay Pride parade in Paris

300,000 attend Gay Pride parade in Paris

Some 300,000 people attended the Gay Pride parade on Saturday afternoon in Paris, claiming adoption and marriage rights for homosexual couples.

"Couples and parents: equality now" is the theme of this year's Gay Pride. Alain Piriou, spokesman of the Inter-LGBT association, which is LGBT's main vehicle for speaking with the government for LGBT equal rights and which organizes the Gay

Pride parade, called the French government to change the law and to authorize marriage and adoption for homosexual couples.

Some dignitaries, including Paris Mayor Bertrand Delanoe and National secretary of the Green party Yann Wehrling, also called for legislation.

At 4:00 p.m. (local time), the parade stopped midway to keep three-minute silence dedicated to victims of AIDS.

Source: Xinhua

Kettle Math

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Brings back great memories!

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Personality Test

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Top 4 Cheap Ways to Show Him You Care

You don't have to be a baller or have an affinity for bling to show your man you care. If your special someone is on your mind, don't wait for his birthday or an anniversary. Give him these cheap gifts and score enough points to last you a lifetime. 

1) Handwritten Letter The art of the handwritten letter is long gone. In the age of convenience and instant lazy access, writing a letter with an actual pen on paper is the most sincere way to show you care. He'll be impressed that you took the time to write (especially when you could have easily sent him an email). Want to sweeten the deal? Sray it with your favorite cologne and drop it in the mail. Chances are he only gets bills and junk in his box, so your good-smelling letter will be a pleasant surprise. 

2) Single Exotic Flower You don't have to wait for a special day or reason to give flowers. Flowers make any day special. Steer clear of the cheesy rose, though; and don't get him a dozen. Keep the mystery alive by choosing a single exotic flower. The more rare and beautiful, the better. Keep it in the flower shop paper and give it to him in a nonchalant manner (as if it's your first date). He may not respond to the gesture like a game show winner while you're around, but he'll tell his friends how sweet you are later. 

3) Video Phone Message Most newer cell phones are equipped with a video camera. Instead of filming endless reels of your puppy running in circles, be your own star. Record a private message just for him. Let your imagination be the creative director. Most wireless services charge to use this feature, but spending a few extra cents can get you cast in his own personal sequel. 

4) Mixed CD I've always been a fan of the mixed playlist. They're a great way to communicate any message. Why argue, say you're sorry or "I love you" when a CD can do it for you? Your compilation can be about sappy love, wild fun times or a tribute to Al Green. Who cares? He'll appreciate getting a good gift that keeps on giving. Want to save even more money? Get the blank CD from a friend.

* From Ramon Johnson, Your Guide to Gay Life. FREE Newsletter. Sign Up Now

Parrot held in prison

A parrot has spent five days under police 'interrogation' in prison in Argentina.

A judge ordered Pepo to be held in custody until he told police who was his real owner, reports UOL.

Two neighbours, Jorge Machado and R Vega, were disputing ownership of the bird.

Judge Osvaldo Carlos decided the parrot should be sent to prison until he said the name of his owner.

After five days, Pepo said Jorge's name and also sung the anthem of his favourite football team San Lorenzo.

Mr Machado said: "I knew he wasn't going to let me down, he is a real friend and we support the same football team."

Teen squirts milk through his eyes

An Indian teenager has become famous for his ability to take in milk through his nose and to squirt it out of his eyes. 

Praveen Kumar Sehrawat sucks milk up his nostrils and squirts it up to 12ft through his tear ducts, reports Asian News International. 

The feat has earned him a place in the Limca Book of Records, India's version of the Guinness Book of World Records.  

The 16-year-old wrestler, from Dariyapur Kalan, near Delhi, also holds the national record for eating 170 green chillies in 5 minutes 7 seconds. And he says he can hammer a nail into his nose without discomfort. His brother Ashok Kumar said: "He is an inspiration for many around the village. "Some people here are even trying stunts that were earlier unthinkable. I hope others will come forward to carry on his torch."

*Ananova

Colour Test

Got a clue? Check to see...

The average person only gets 7 right so use all lobes of your brain. This can be more difficult than it looks - it just shows how little most of us really see!


There are 25 questions about things we see every day or have known about all our lives. How many can you get right? These little simple questions are harder than you think. It just shows how little we pay attention to the commonplace things of life.

RULES: Put your thinking caps on. No cheating! No looking around! No getting out of your chair! No using anything on or in your desk or computer!

Can you beat 13? (The average is 7) Write down your answers and check answers (on the bottom) AFTER completing all the questions .

REMEMBER - NO CHEATING!!! It doesn't matter if you cheat, actually, because if you have to cheat, then you don't know the answer, so, you've already missed the question. BE HONEST!That means no looking at your phone or anything on your desk...


LET'S JUST SEE HOW OBSERVANT YOU REALLY ARE. - If not, just have fun!


Here we go!


1. On a standard traffic light, is the green on the top or bottom?

2. How many states are there in the USA? (Don't laugh, some people don't know.)

3. In which hand is the Statue of Liberty's torch?

4. What six colors are on the classic Campbell's soup label?

5. What two numbers on the telephone dial don't have letters by them?

6. When you walk does your left arm swing with your right or left leg? (Don't you dare get up to see!)

7. How many matches are in a standard pack?

8. On the United States flag is the top stripe red or white?

9. What is the lowest number on the FM dial? (Don't look at that dial)!

10. Which way does water go down the drain, counter or clockwise? (Get out of the bathroom!)

11. Which way does a "no smoking" sign's slash run?

12. How many channels on a VHF TV dial?

13. On which side of a women's blouse are the buttons?

14. Which way do fans rotate?

15 How many sides does a stop sign have?

16. Do books have even-numbered pages on the right or left side?

17 How many lug nuts are on a standard car wheel?

18. How many sides are there on a standard pencil?

19. Sleepy, Happy, Sneezy, Grumpy, Dopey & Doc. Who's missing?

20. How many hot dog buns are in a standard package?

21. On which playing card is the card maker's trademark?

22. On which side of a Venetian blind is the cord that adjusts the opening between the slats?

23. There are 12 buttons on a touch tone phone. What 2 symbols bear no digits?

24. How many curves are there in the standard paper clip?

25. Does a merry-go-round turn counter or clockwise?




ANSWERS

1. Bottom

2. 50

3. Right

4. Blue, red, white, yellow, black &gold

5. 1, 0

6. Right

7. 20

8. Red

9. 87.7

10. Clockwise (north of the equator)

11. From lower right to upper left

12. 12 (there is no #1)

13. Left

14. Clockwise as you look at it from the front. (unless they have a reverse switch).

15. 8

16. Left

17. 5

18. 6

19. Bashful

20. 8

21. Ace of spades

22. Left

23. * and #

24. 3

25. Counter

Philip Seymour Hoffman

(Los Angeles, California) For all who have followed Philip Seymour Hoffman’s film career, it has been an exciting journey. “Multiply that by one thousand, for me,” says Hoffman, recently, when I speak with him after his Oscar win for the mesmerizing and stunning portrayal of the late, effete and gay, Truman Capote - an icon in his era, for part of his life, at least. “Capote” was one of those small films - a film that cost next to nothing to make - that was so good, in every sense of the word, that it found an audience of film lovers and the Academy found it, nominating it for a plethora of Oscars, including Best Picture and Director. Hoffman’s win for Best Actor, however, is the real prize, because without Hoffman, there would have been no “Capote” on the big screen. --more--

17 Bumper Stickers You Would Like To See...

Jesus loves you...but everyone else thinks you are an ass.

Impotence...Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings,"

The proctologist called...they found your head.

Everyone has a photographic memory...some just don't have any film.

Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted.

I used to have a handle on life...but it broke off.

WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

Guys...just because you have one, doesn't mean you have to be one.

Some people just don't know how to drive...I call these people "Everybody But Me,"

Heart Attacks...God's revenge for eating His animal friends.

Don't like my driving? Then quit watching me.

If you can read this..I can slam on my brakes and sue you.

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

Try not to let your mind wander...It is too small and fragile to be out by itself.

Hang up and drive!!

And The Number One Bumper Sticker you'd Like To See:

Welcome to Canada...now speak English, or French, or Scottish, or Ukrainian, or Hebrew, or German, or Dutch, or.. well... You get the picture...
*Thanks, Auntie 'M'

CLASS PROJECT GONE WRONG

*Thanks, Rimsky

What those words in your performance review really mean...

*Thanks, Andy

God Bless George ..

George Bush has a heart attack and dies. He goes to hell where the devil is waiting for him. "I don't know what to do here," says the devil. "You're on my list but I have no room for you. But you definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got three people here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves." 

George thought that sounded pretty good so he agreed. The devil opened the first room. In it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell. "No!" George said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day long." The devil led him to the next room. In it was Tony Blair with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time. "No! I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day!" commented George. 

The devil opened a third door. In it, George saw Bill Clinton lying naked on the floor with his arms staked over his head and his legs staked in spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best. George Bush looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this." The devil smiled and said, "Monica, you're free to go!"

*Thanks, Vil

Speedo - The next generation...

Click on the picture for the larger version you can use as wallpaper.
*Thanks, Daryn

Churches in Las Vegas

This may come as a surprise to those of you not living in Las Vegas, but there are more Catholic churches there than casinos. Not surprisingly, some worshipers at Sunday services will give casino chips rather than cash when the basket is passed. Since they get chips from so many different casinos, the churches have devised a method to process these offerings. The churches send all their collected chips to a nearby Franciscan Monastery for sorting and then the chips are taken to the casinos of origin and cashed in. This is done by the chip monks. Didn't see it comin' did ya?

*Thanks, Andy

Burning Drugs

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*Thanks, Daryn

The Perfect Dog!