The Night Before Christmas

T'was the night before Christmas, He lived all alone,
In a one bedroom house, Made of plaster and stone.

I had come down the chimney, With presents to give,
And to see just who, In this home did live.

I looked all about, A strange sight I did see,
No tinsel, no presents, Not even a tree.

No stocking by the mantle, Just boots filled with sand,
On the wall hung pictures, Of far distant lands.

With medals and badges, Awards of all kinds,
A sober thought, Came through my mind.

For this house was different, It was dark and dreary,
I found the home of a soldier, Once I could see clearly.

The soldier lay sleeping, Silent, alone,
Curled up on the floor, In this one bedroom home.

The face was so gentle, The room in such disorder,
Not how I pictured, A Canadian soldier.

Was this the hero,Of whom I'd just read?,
Curled up on a poncho, The floor for a bed?

I realized the families, That I saw this night,
Owed their lives to these soldiers, Who were willing to fight.

Soon round the world, The children would play,
And grownups would celebrate, A bright Christmas Day.

They all enjoyed freedom, Each month of the year,
Because of the soldiers, Like the one lying here.

I couldn't help wonder, How many lay alone,
On a cold Christmas Eve, In a land far from home.

The very thought brought A tear to my eye,
I dropped to my knees, And started to cry.

The soldier awakened, And I heard a rough voice,
'Santa, don't cry. This life is my choice.

I fight for freedom, I don't ask for more,
My life is my God, My country, my corps.'

The soldier rolled over, And drifted to sleep,
I couldn't control it, I continued to weep.

I kept watch for hours, So silent and still,
And we both shivered, From the cold night's chill.

I didn't want to leave, On that cold, dark night,
This guardian of honor, So willing to fight.

Then the soldier rolled over, With a voice, soft and pure,
Whispered, 'Carry on Santa, It's Christmas Day, all is secure.'

One look at my watch, And I knew he was right,
'Merry Christmas my friend, And to all a good night.'

This poem was written by a peace keeping soldier stationed overseas. The following is his request, I think it is reasonable.


PLEASE. Would you do me the kind favor of forwarding this post to as many people as you can? Christmas will be coming soon and some credit is due to our Canadian service men and women for our being able to celebrate these Festivities. Let's try in this small way to pay a tiny bit of what we owe. Make People stop and think of our heroes, living and dead, who sacrificed themselves for us.

*Thanks, Robert

A Christmas Story

'Twas the night before Christmas--Old Santa was pissed.
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.
I have a good mind to scrap the whole works!

I've busted my ass for damn near a year,
Instead of "Thanks Santa"--what do I hear?
The old lady bitches cause I work late at night.
The elves want more money--The reindeer all fight.

Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.
And just when I thought that things would get better
Those assholes from the IRS sent me a letter,
They say I owe taxes--if that ain't damn funny
Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?

And the kids these days--they all are the pits
They want the impossible--Those mean little shits
I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads
I made a ton of yo yo's--No request for them,
They want computers and robots...they think - I'm IBM!

Flying through the air...dodging the trees
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
I'm quitting this job there's just no enjoyment
I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment.

There's no Christmas this year now you know the reason,
I found me a blonde. I'm going SOUTH for the season

Ahhh, Winnipeg!

A curious fellow died one day and found himself waiting in the long line of judgment. As he stood there he noticed that some souls were allowed to march right through the pearly gates into Heaven. Others though, were led over to Satan who threw them into the burning pit.

But every so often, instead of hurling a poor soul into the fire, Satan would toss a soul off to one side into a small pile. After watching Satan do this several times, the fellow's curiosity got the best of him. So he strolled over and asked Satan what he was doing. "Excuse me, Mr. Prince of Darkness," he said. "I'm waiting in line for judgment, but I couldn't help wondering...why are you tossing those people aside instead of flinging them into the Fires of Hell with the others?"

"Ah, those...," Satan said with a groan. "They're all from Winnipeg. They're still too cold and wet to burn."

Girls Night Out

Two women friends had gone for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails.

Incredibly drunk and walking home, they needed to pee.

They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a head stone or something.

The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she thought she'd take off her panties, use them, then throw them away.

Her friend, however, was wearing a rather expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers but was lucky to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on one of the graves and proceeded to wipe herself with that.

After finishing, they then made off for home.

The next day the first woman's husband phoned the other husband and said, "These damn girls night out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties."

"That's nothing, said the other husband, "Mine came back with a card stuck between the cheeks of her ass that said, "From All of Us At the Fire Station, We'll Never Forget You."

Japanese IQ Test

Click Above

If you give up.. the answer is here.

Cold Winter...

The Farmer's Almanac is predicting a very cold winter. It must be true because the squirrels are gathering NUTS. Three of my readers have disappeared.

Are you O.K.?

*Thanks, Bright Eyes

Winter in Canada!

WINTER Poem

It's winter in Canada
And the gentle breezes blow
Seventy miles an hour
At thirty-five below.

Oh, how I love Canada
When the snow's up to your butt
You take a breath of winter
And your nose gets frozen shut.

Yes, the weather here is wonderful
So I guess I'll hang around
I could never leave Canada
Cuz I'm frozen to the ground!



98% OF CANADIANS SAY "OH SHIT" BEFORE GOING IN THE DITCH ON A SLIPPERY ROAD.
THE OTHER 2% ARE FROM NEWFOUNDLAND AND THEY SAY, "HOLD MY BEER AND WATCH THIS."


*Thanks, Dwight

Life's Truths for Mature Adults

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. Really, how ARE you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Crap!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

20. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

21. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.

22. I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

25. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber &dumber every year?

29. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

30. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate bicyclists.

31. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

32. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'll bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

*Thanks, Bright Eyes

"The Mother-in-law Excuse"

We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Year's Eve Party.

We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard.

We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi.

The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house.

As we walked out the door, the cat we had put out in the yard, scoots back into the house.

We didn't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird.

My wife goes on out to the taxi, while I went back inside to get the cat.

The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit.

Waiting in the cab, my wife doesn't want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the night.

So, she explains to the taxi driver that I will be out soon, 'He's just going upstairs to say Goodbye to my mother.'

A few minutes later, I get into the cab. 'Sorry I took so long,' I said, as we drove away.

'That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. I had to poke her ass with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard! She better not shit in the vegetable garden again!'

The silence in the cab was deafening.

*Thanks, Bright Eyes

Cool sites and pics...

Anti-matter Trapped For the First Time

This an interesting article. I remember doing a report in high school about the possibility of capturing antimatter and now it’s done.

gizmodo.com


“Many scientists speculate that antimatter may be the key to provide unlimited power capable of driving machines that are unthinkable right now. Eventually, it could be the stuff that could power new engines capable of taking us to the stars at near-light speed.”

"Open for business..."


The truth behind chicken little's shenanigans

Stuttering Cat....

As explained by a 4th grade student.

A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. "Human beings are the only animals that stutter," she said.

A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered."

The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.

"Well," she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!"

"That must've been scary," said the teacher.

"It sure was," said the little girl. "My kitty raised her back, went "Ffffff!, Ffffff!, FfffffF, but before she could say "Fuck!," the Rottweiler ate her!

The teacher had to leave the room

*Thanks, Robert

Quotes of the day

Those who are lifting the world upward and onward are those who encourage more than criticize.

–Elizabeth Harrison, educator (1849-1927)

Treat people as if they were what they ought to be, and you help them to become what they are capable of being.

–Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, German writer (1749-1831)

The best executive is the one who has sense enough to pick good men to do what he wants done, and self-restraint to keep from meddling with them while they do it.

–Theodore Roosevelt, 26th President (1858-1919)

Here's a lady worthy of a Darwin award!

Mickey Mouse Trivia

Here is some trivia:

1. Which of the following was not a Mouseketeer?
A. Christina Aguilera
B. Annette Funicello
C. Ryan Gosling
D. Britney Spears
E. Justin Timberlake

2. How many people are credited for providing the voice of Mickey Mouse in the past 80 years?
A. 1
B. 3
C. 5
D. 8
E. 15

3. Mickey Mouse's first appearance was in Plane Crazy on May 15, 1928. The Walt Disney Company considers today Mickey's birthday, commemorating the release of what cartoon?
A. The Barn Dance
B. The Opry House
C. The Gallopin' Gaucho
D. Mickey's Follies
E. Steamboat Willie

4. Walt Disney created Mickey Mouse to replace which animated character?
A. Felix the Cat
B. Dog the Bounty Hunter
C. Minnie the Moocher
D. Oswald the Lucky Rabbit

5. To whom did Walt Disney give credit for the inspiration for Mickey's personality?
A. Charlie Chaplin
B. Woodrow Wilson
C. Shoeless Joe Jackson
D. Hoagy Carmichael
E. Stan Laurel

6. What were Mickey's first spoken words?
A. "Put her down!"
B. "Jeepers!"
C. "Eeek! A cat!"
D. "You know what they say about big hands, Minnie!"
E. "Hot dogs!"

7. On March 28, 1929, what happened to Mickey for the first time?
A. He met Minnie
B. He asked Minnie out
C. He kissed Minnie
D. He danced with Minnie
E. He wore gloves

8. The first piece of Mickey Mouse merchandise appeared in 1929. It was:
A. A lunchbox
B. A beanie cap with large ears
C. A school writing tablet
D. Suspenders
E. A video game

9. In 1932, Walt Disney received a special Academy Award for creating Mickey Mouse. How many Oscars has Mickey won?
A. 0
B. 1
C. 2
D. 3
E. 5

10. Who said: "Brake! Brake! Brake now, you Mickey Mouse piece of s--!"
A. Charles Lindbergh
B. Neil Armstrong
C. Sylvester Stallone
D. Henry Ford
E. Minnie Mouse

11. Match the event with the year:
1. The first Mickey Mouse watch is sold
2. Mickey gets his own entry in Encyclopedia Britannica
3. Minnie first turns down Mickey in favour of Peg Leg Pete
4. Mickey's eyes get pupils
5. Mickey leads Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade in New York

a. 1929
b. 1933
c. 1934
d. 1935
e. 1940

12. Who once famously put a black bra on top of his head to imitate Mickey, and said "I'm the mascot of an evil corporation."
A. Walt Disney
B. Scrooge McDuck
C. John Belushi
D. Dan Aykroyd
E. Bart Simpson

13. True or False: In a 2007 children's television show titled Tomorrow's Pioneers, the Hamas used a Mickey Mouse clone named Farfour to encourage children to use AK-47 assault rifles and grenades, telling them that "We will return the Islamic community to its former greatness, and liberate Jerusalem, God willing, liberate Iraq, God willing, and liberate all the countries of the Muslims invaded by the murderers." Following intervention by the Palestinian government, the character was beaten to death by an Israeli and replaced by Nahoul, his bumblebee cousin.

14. Another first: 30 years ago today, Mickey became the first cartoon character to:
A. Receive a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame
B. Win an Emmy Award
C. Sing during the Super Bowl halftime show
D. Be charged for impaired driving
E. Appear in a porn film

15. Has Disney's Mickey Mouse ever appeared in the same film as Warner Brothers' Bugs Bunny?

16. Who said:
"Well, it's time they got their act together. They're ruining the whole league. They had better stop running a Mickey Mouse organization and put somebody on the ice."
A. Former Disney CEO Michael Eisner
B. Hockey Night in Canada analyst Don Cherry
C. Emilio Estevez, in the movie The Mighty Ducks
D. Bugs Bunny
E. Wayne Gretzky

Below are the answers.

1. None. All five were Mouseketeers.

2. B. Three. Walt Disney voiced Mickey from 1928-47, when Jim MacDonald took over. In 1977, Wayne Allwine, the current voice of Mickey, took over from MacDonald.

3. E. Steamboat Willie. Plane Crazy and The Gallopin' Gaucho preceded Steamboat Willie, which was the first Mickey film with sound.

4. D. Oswald the Lucky Rabbit.

5. A. Charlie Chaplin. Said Disney: "I think we are rather indebted to Charlie Chaplin for the idea. We wanted something appealing, and we thought of a tiny bit of a mouse that would have something of the wistfulness of Chaplin -- a little fellow trying to do the best he could."

6. E. "Hot dogs!" In 1929's The Karnival Kid, Mickey sells hot dogs.

7. E. Mickey first wore gloves in The Opry House.

8. C.

9. B. Mickey won his only Oscar for 1941's Lend A Paw, which starred not Mickey, but Pluto.

10. C. In the movie Demolition Man, Stallone shouts those words to his police car.

11. 1b; 2c; 3a; 4e; 5d

12. E. Bart Simpson in The Simpsons Movie.

13. True.

14. A.

15. Yes, they appeared together in 1988's Who Framed Roger Rabbit.

16. E. Gretzky said it in 1984 after his Edmonton Oilers defeated the New Jersey Devils 13-4.

Visit Mickey Mouse on Wikipedia!

"First they came…" is a poem attributed to Pastor Martin Niemoller (1892–1984)

*Thanks, Michele

This poem was forwarded to me and I like it and her follow up comments:

I came across this poem in my afternoon of internet browsing using stumble upon. And with it being a social day for me I have conversed with peoples and realized the real need for individuals who are educated to take a stand.

Discrimination in the work place isn't cool whether it's due to sex, sexual orientation, intellectual disability or mental health problems. Let's acknowledge people and rejoice in their gifts and not diminish the value of there efforts simply because someone who doesn't have there challenges can handle challenges "better".

Let's speak up when people "joke" in ways that demean people due to these kinds of differences. Tonight I learned that people are still being killed because of these differences which is appalling in this day and age.

The Obama Condom - Only in America!

These are uncertain times. The economy's a ball-buster and the surge went flaccid... but now there's Obama Condoms, for a change you can believe in!

FOR THE ELITIST PENIS
THEY WON'T LEAVE A BITTER TASTE IN YOUR MOUTH
WHEN YOU JUST WANT TO CLOSE THE DEAL
*ObamaCondoms.com

Age Barometer (Some of these only Americans will remember)

How many of these do you remember? (No right or wrong answers, just a measure of how old you are and what you remember). Feel free to add items in the Comments below!


Blackjack and Beeman's gum
Powerhouse candy bars
Licorice records
Wax teeth, lips and mustaches
Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water
Candy lipstick
Candy cigarettes
Fizzies
Soda pop machines that dispense bottles
Pull tabs that snapped off soda cans
Tableside jukeboxes in coffee shops
Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers
Movies preceded by cartoons and newsreels
Party lines
Rotary phones
Drive-ins with car hops
Sock hops
Winter rubber boots with metal latches
Coonskin caps
P.F. Flyers (Shoes and runners)
Angora sweaters
Bouffant hairdos
Spoolies
Hair dryers with plastic caps
Butch wax
Dart guns with rubber-tipped darts
Tin-can telephones
Peashooters
Cork popguns
Roll of cap-gun caps
Howdy Doody puppets
Beanie and Cecil dolls
Two-bladed ice skates that clip onto shoes
Roller skates that clip onto shoes
Roller skate keys
Metal lunchboxes
S & H green stamps and Plaid stamps
Winky Dink kits for drawing on the TV screen
Crystal radios
Console hi-fi's with 78's
45-rpm records
Hand-crank wringers on tub washing machines
Slide rules
Levered metal ice trays
Mimeograph paper
Carbon paper
Flash bulbs
Eight-track tape decks
8mm Home movie cameras
Dick and Jane readers

Animal Noises

A group of young children were siting in a circle with their teacher. She was going around in turn asking them all questions.

"Davy, what noise does a cow make?"

"It goes moo."

"Alice, what noise does a cat make?"

"It goes meow."

"Jamie, what sound does a lamb make?"

"It goes baaa."

"Jennifer, what sound does a mouse make?"

"Errr.., it goes.. click!"

Gender of Inanimate Objects

You may not know that many non-living things have a gender. For example:

1) Ziploc Bags -- They are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

2) Copiers -- They are Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm them up again. It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.

3) Tire -- Male, because it goes bald and it's often over-inflated.

4) Hot Air Balloon -- Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it and, of course, there's the hot air component.

5) Sponges -- Female, because they're soft, squeezable and retain water.

6) Web Page -- Female, because it's always getting hit on.

7) Subway -- Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

8) Hourglass -- Female, because over time, the weight can shift to the bottom.

9) Hammer -- Male, because it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.

10) Remote Control -- Female. Ha! You thought it'd be Male. But consider this -- it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.

CANADA!!!

CANADA!!!!

Canada is huge. It spans six time zones from "Sea to Sea to Sea" and is the world's second largest country with an area of 9, 970, 610 square kilometres (3, 849,656 square miles).

Borders:

Canada is surrounded by three oceans - the Pacific Ocean to the west, the Atlantic Ocean to the east and the Arctic Ocean to the north. To the south is the United States of America, which shares almost 9,000 kilometres of undefended border with Canada.

Provinces and Territories:

Ottawa, located in the province of Ontario, is the capital of Canada. Canada consists of ten provinces and three territories, each with its own capital city:

Alberta - Edmonton


British Columbia - Victoria


Manitoba - Winnipeg


New Brunswick - Fredericton


Newfoundland & Labrador - St. John's


Northwest Territories - Yellowknife


Nova Scotia - Halifax


Nunavut - Iqaluit


Ontario - Toronto


Prince Edward Island - Charlottetown


Quebec - City of Québec


Saskatchewan - Regina


Yukon Territory - Whitehorse

Population:

30,750,100 people living in Canada


Distribution: 77% urban, 23% rural


Aboriginal Peoples: North American Indian 69%, Métis 26%, Inuit 5%


Official Languages: English and French


Languages Spoken: English 59%, French 23%, Other 18%
For detailed Canadian Statistics check the Statistics Canada Web site.

Political System:

Canada is a federal parliamentary democracy with a constitutional monarchy. The Canadian parliamentary system is modeled after the British form of government and consists of the Crown, Senate and House of Commons.

The Crown, or Queen, is the traditional Head of State who is represented in Canada by the Governor General. The Crown delegates authority to the Governor General, who acts on her behalf in a mostly symbolic role as the Head of State. The office of the Governor General is one of Canada's oldest institutions, dating back almost 400 years.

The Senate, or Upper House, consists of 105 members appointed by the Governor General upon the advice of the Prime Minister. The Senate and House of Commons share similar authorities, but only the House of Commons can introduce financial legislation. The House of Commons, or Lower House, is the primary legislative body of Parliament representing 301 Canadian electoral districts.

Every five years voters elect local members to the House of Commons and the political party with the most representatives forms the government. The party leader becomes the Head of Government or Prime Minister; The Right Honourable Paul Martin is the current and twentieth-first Prime Minister.

Get detailed information about the history and function of Parliament. Learn more about the office of the Prime Minister or role of the Governor General.

National Emblem

Historically, Canada's most important national emblem has been the maple leaf. The maple leaf, in variant forms and colours, has appeared on the penny, Canadian coats of arms and regimental banners. In 1965 the maple leaf became the central design on the Canadian national flag. The red maple leaf is recognized world-wide as a Canadian symbol.

Visit the Canadian Heritage Web site for more details about the national flag.

The Canadian Heritage Web site offers detailed information about other Canadian Symbols.

National Anthem of Canada

O Canada!
Our home and native land!
True patriot love
in all thy sons command.

With glowing hearts
we see thee rise,
The True North strong and free!
From far and wide,
O Canada,
we stand on guard for thee.

God keep our land
glorious and free!
O Canada,
we stand on guard for thee.

O Canada,
we stand on guard for thee.

French Version

O Canada! Terre de nos aïeux,
Ton front est ceint de fleurons glorieux!

Car ton bras sait porter l'épée,
Il sait porter la croix!

Ton histoire est une épopée
Des plus brillants exploits.

Et ta valeur, de foi trempée,
Protégera nos foyers et nos droits.

Protégera nos foyers et nos droits.

Culture and Language

Canada's culture and official language policy are features that are unique to Canada. To learn more about culture, languages, education, communications and economy in Canada, take a look at the Canadian profile on the Canadian Heritage Web site.



Geography and Climate:

Canada's climate varies throughout the country. Each region experiences variable temperature and precipitation levels, although most of Canada experiences four distinct seasons.

Spring — Average temperature = 15 degrees Celsius

Summer — Average temperature = 25 degrees Celsius

Fall — Average temperature = 15 degrees Celsius

Winter — Average temperature = -25 degrees Celsius

Like its climate, Canada has a diverse geography that varies regionally. Canada encompasses several geographical elements - from Arctic tundra in the north, lush rain forests in the west, the Prairie wheat fields in central Canada, to the rugged coastlines of the Atlantic and Pacific provinces.

Canada has several distinct geographic and climatic regions:

The Pacific or West Coast — enjoys Canada's most favourable climate. The warm Pacific Ocean air produces a temperate rain forest climate. The winters, although mild, include significant precipitation - particularly in southern British Columbia. The northern and interior regions, however, experience heavy snowfall.

The Cordillera or Cordilleran mountain range, extends from British Columbia to Alberta and as far north as the Yukon. The Cordillera include the Coastal Range, the Rockies and St. Elias Mountains.

The Prairies — encompass the provinces of Manitoba, Saskatchewan and Alberta from east to west. The Prairies, considered world leaders in grain production, are famous for their seemingly endless fields of grain.

Prairie summers are hot and dry with little precipitation. Levels of precipitation vary somewhat across the region however, with annual rates ranging from 300 to 500 mm. The "chinook" winds of the Prairies counteract the long, cold winters producing milder temperatures, sometimes as much as 20 degrees in a matter of hours.

The Great Lakes/St. Lawrence Region — is home to half of Canada's population. Summer temperatures average 20 degrees Celsius, but may feel considerably warmer with the humidity. Winters in this region are typically cold with heavy snowfall.

This area has some of the best agricultural land in Canada. It is suitable for growing a wide variety of fruits and vegetables. The Niagara Peninsula region produces several quality wines. Maple syrup and sugar are other products of the Great Lakes region.

The Atlantic or Maritime Region — experiences high levels of precipitation throughout the year due to the proximity of the Atlantic Ocean. The winters are characteristically cold with heavy periods of snowfall. During the summer temperatures may range from 16 to 18 degrees Celsius. Fog is prevalent in some Atlantic areas, particularly in the spring and summer.

The North or Arctic Regions — is blanketed in snow much of the year. A northern summer consists of four months of perpetual sunlight with temperatures reaching 10 to 20 degrees Celsius, in the arctic and sub-arctic respectively. The summer permafrost allows for the growth of vegetative life. The long, cold winters, with very few hours of daylight, are brightened by The Northern Lights or Aurora Borealis.

For more information about the Canadian climate, visit the Environment Canada Web site.

Like many large countries, Canada has several time zones. Canada uses six Standard Time Zones and observes Daylight Savings Time in every province but Saskatchewan.


National Parks and National Historic Sites:

In 1885, the Canadian government established the first national park in Banff, Alberta. Today, there are more than forty National Parks that occupy approximately 2 percent of Canada's total landmass. Canada's National Park system is monitored and protected by Parks Canada. All levels of government recognize the urgency of preserving the ecological integrity of Canada's parks for generations to come.

In addition, Parks Canada and Canadian Heritage strive to commemorate the people, places and events of national historic significance. Canada has designated more than 800 National Historic Sites throughout the country. These sites represent the variety of Canada's unique history, culture and people.

Canada is also home to thirteen UNESCO World Heritage Sites. Countries worldwide share the responsibility of preserving sites of ecological or biological universal importance.