Crystal Meth

Dealing with Teenage Methamphetamine Use

Identifying and dealing with teenage drug use is a frightening prospect for any parent. But we live in a world where teens have so many opportunities for losing their way. They have the time and money for vices and less supervision at home. And drugs today are even more powerful and addictive than ever.

Methamphetamine (known on the street as "speed," "meth," "crank," "crystal-meth") is a central nervous system stimulant that is among the most dangerous drugs available. Like cocaine, it is a powerful "upper" that produces alertness and feelings of elation, along with a variety of adverse reactions. Methamphetamine is sometimes called the "poor man’s cocaine," because it costs nearly the same as cocaine with much longer lasting effects.

Methamphetamine can be swallowed, smoked, snorted, or injected. Under the influence of the drug, users often become agitated and "wired." Their behaviour becomes unpredictable: friendly and calm one moment, angry and terrified the next. Once users become too tired to continue using or run out of meth, they will begin to "crash." Initially, the crash is marked by agitated depression, which soon gives way to lethargy, followed by a long deep sleep. Once the user awakens, the depression returns and may last for days. This is the time when the potential for suicide is high.

With prolonged high-dose use or long binges, stimulant psychosis may develop. User may feel intensely paranoid, hear voices, and experience bizarre delusions (such as thinking that people are talking about and/or following them). Methamphetamine-induced panic and psychosis can be extremely dangerous and may result in incidents of extreme violence.

Dangers and consequences of meth use include:

• sleeplessness
  
• nausea, vomiting, diarrhea
  
• skin ulceration and infection, the result of picking at imaginary bugs
  
• paranoia, anxiety, irritability
  
• depression
  
• increased blood pressure due to the constriction of blood vessels (may produce headaches, chest pain, or irregular heartbeat and lead to stroke or heart attack)
  
• seizures
  
• permanent brain cell damage
  
• for intravenous (IV) users: AIDS, hepatitis, infections and sores at the injection site, and infection of the heart lining and valves (endocarditis)

If you are a parent concerned that your teenager may be using meth, there are symptoms you should look for. You may notice a striking degeneration of your child's attitude, school attendance and marks, dress, personal hygiene, complexion and skin condition, along with increased mood swings, weight loss, and irregular sleeping patterns such as long waking and sleeping periods (days). A change of friends, secrecy, missing monies and valuables, dropping out of extra curriculum activities, and verbal aggression and/or the threat of physical aggression are also warning signs. If you suspect your child of drug use, contact a professional or counselor to help guide you through the process of acknowledging, confronting, and dealing with this problem. Professionals, non-profits, and faith-based organizations are available throughout Saskatchewan to help you and your family through this difficult time. Teen Challenge Saskatchewan Phone: 306-664-4673

Click above for more info

Weird detention notes

Click on the image for a full size one. You may have to click on that image to zoom in:

котенок против страшной неведомой хрени

Kitten vs. Scary Thing

Strange Song - Werewolves of London...

I saw a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hand
Walking through the streets of Soho in the rain
He was looking for a place called Lee Ho Fook's
Gonna get a big dish of beef chow mein

Aaoooooo!
Werewolves of London!
Aaoooooo! (Repeat)

If you hear him howling around your kitchen door
Better not let him in
Little old lady got mutilated late last night
Werewolves of London again

Asoooooo!
Werewolves of London!
Aaoooooo! (Repeat)

He's the hairy-handed gent who ran amuck in Kent
Lately he's been overheard in Mayfair
Better stay away from him
He'll rip your lungs out, Jim
I'd like to meet his tailor

Aaoooooo!
Werewolves of London!
Aaoooooo! (Repeat)

Well, I saw Lon Chaney walking with the Queen
Doing the Werewolves of London
I saw Lon Chaney, Jr. walking with the Queen
Doing the Werewolves of London
I saw a werewolf drinking a pina colada at Trader Vic's
And his hair was perfect

Aaoooooo!
Werewolves of London!
Aaoooooo! (Repeat)
Draw blood.

This is a weird song. The music is so very happy, and the lyrics says something quite different. Interesting as well as it appears to really be about the gay community in London at the time..

Old lady crossing the road - IKEA

This clip of an Old Lady Crossing The Road always makes me laugh when I see what happens to the obnoxious and rude guy driving the fancy Mercedes. This funny video clip is an Internet classic as it’s been on YouTube practically from the start. I hope his car insurance didn’t cover his air bag being deployed.

2D Glasses, now available!

• Futuristic 3D Movies... Make us sick
• Converts standard 3D movies in to relaxing 2D
• Eliminates headaches and nausea associated with 3D movies
• Works with current 3D movies in theaters using RealD 3D technology

3D Movies. You've got to love them right? But when in-your-face special effects turn into headache-inducing nausea... the fun is over. What's more, all your friends love 3D movies. You've been there before, a movie is playing in both 2D and 3D, all your friends want to see the 3D version... so what can you do? Easy! Deliver old skool 2D images to your tired eyes with the 3D to 2D Glasses.

The De-3D glasses eliminate the 3D effect from 3D movies, allowing you to watch in the comfort of 2D. How do they work you say? In a traditional 3D movie, two images are displayed overlapped on the movie screen. Standard 3D glasses filter these images allowing one to be seen by the right eye and the other to be seen by the left eye. The difference between the two images creates the 3D effect and also the annoying eyestrain and headaches you may have experienced. The De-3D glasses are specially designed to eliminate the left eye image and show only the right eye image to both eyes. In double-blind scientific tests it was determined that when watching 3-D movies the right-eye image was consistently more action packed and and humorous than the left-eye image. Amazing but true.

So next time when your friends want to go see a 3D movie bring your De-3D glasses and you'll have the confidence to tag along knowing that you'll be able to experience the best of the cinema with none of the motion sickness, headaches or nausea. Your friends will thank you too... for not puking on their shoes.

Product Specifications

• Cinema Style 2D glasses eliminate 3D effect for more pleasurable movie viewing
• Converts standard 3D movies in to relaxing 2D
• Eliminates headaches and nausea associated with 3D movie viewing
• Works with current 3D movies in theaters using RealD 3D technology
• View 3D movies comfortably with your 3D loving friends
• High quality radial polarized optics for a smooth picture
• Solid Black ABS plastic construction for years of 3D eliminating performance

Available at ThinkGeek.com

Image of Hope

I believe in these difficult and mean-spirited times in which we live there needs to be a message of hope. Just a single image that speaks to us of love, harmony, peace and joy. An image that suggests the universal brotherhood of man. I have found that image, and I ask that you take a moment to be inspired by it.

Click here to see the Image of Hope

Demotivational Posters

Logic puzzle

Scenario:

You are travelling in a car at a constant speed. On your left side is a double decker bus and on your right side is a fire engine traveling at the same speed as you.

In front of you is a galloping pig which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it. Behind you is a helicopter flying at ground level. Both the giant pig and the helicopter are also traveling at the same speed as you.

What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?

(Scroll down for the answer.)













Answer:

Get off the children's Merry Go Round. You're hammered.

Siats Meekerorum

A new species of carnivorous dinosaur – one of the three largest ever discovered in North America – lived alongside and competed with small-bodied tyrannosaurs 98 million years ago. This newly discovered species, Siats meekerorum, (pronounced see-atch) was the apex predator of its time, and kept tyrannosaurs from assuming top predator roles for millions of years.

Named after a cannibalistic man-eating monster from Ute tribal legend, Siatsis a species of carcharodontosaur, a group of giant meat-eaters that includes some of the largest predatory dinosaurs ever discovered. The only other carcharodontosaur known from North America is Acrocanthosaurus, which roamed eastern North America more than 10 million years earlier. Siats is only the second carcharodontosaur ever discovered in North America; Acrocanthosaurus, discovered in 1950, was the first.

“It’s been 63 years since a predator of this size has been named from North America,” says Lindsay Zanno, a North Carolina State University paleontologist with a joint appointment at the North Carolina Museum of Natural Sciences, and lead author of a Nature Communications paper describing the find. “You can’t imagine how thrilled we were to see the bones of this behemoth poking out of the hillside.”

Zanno and colleague Peter Makovicky, from Chicago’s Field Museum of Natural History, discovered the partial skeleton of the new predator in Utah’s Cedar Mountain Formation in 2008. The species name acknowledges the Meeker family for its support of early career paleontologists at the Field Museum, including Zanno.

The recovered specimen belonged to an individual that would have been more than 30 feet long and weighed at least four tons. Despite its giant size, these bones are from a juvenile. Zanno and Makovicky theorize that an adult Siats might have reached the size of Acrocanthosaurus, meaning the two species vie for the second largest predator ever discovered in North America. Tyrannosaurus rex, which holds first place, came along 30 million years later and weighed in at more than twice that amount.

Although Siats and Acrocanthosaurus are both carcharodontosaurs, they belong to different sub-groups. Siats is a member of Neovenatoridae, a more slender-bodied group of carcharodontosaurs. Neovenatorids have been found in Europe, South America, China, Japan and Australia. However, this is the first time a neovenatorid has ever been found in North America.

Siats terrorized what is now Utah during the Late Cretaceous period (100 million years ago to 66 million years ago). It was previously unknown who the top meat-eater was in North America during this period. “Carcharodontosaurs reigned for much longer in North America than we expected,” says Zanno. In fact, Siats fills a gap of more than 30 million years in the fossil record, during which time the top predator role changed hands from carcharodontosaurs in the Early Cretaceous to tyrannosaurs in the Late Cretaceous.

The lack of fossils left paleontologists unsure about when this change happened and if tyrannosaurs outcompeted carcharodontosaurs, or were simply able to assume apex predator roles following carcharodontosaur extinction. It is now clear that Siats’ large size would have prevented smaller tyrannosaurs from taking their place atop the food chain.

“The huge size difference certainly suggests that tyrannosaurs were held in check by carcharodontosaurs, and only evolved into enormous apex predators after the carcharodontosaurs disappeared,” says Makovicky. Zanno adds, “Contemporary tyrannosaurs would have been no more than a nuisance to Siats, like jackals at a lion kill. It wasn’t until carcharodontosaurs bowed out that the stage could be set for the evolution of T. rex.”

At the time Siats reigned, the landscape was lush, with abundant vegetation and water supporting a variety of plant-eating dinosaurs, turtles, crocodiles, and giant lungfish. Other predators inhabited this ecosystem, including early tyrannosaurs and several species of other feathered dinosaurs that have yet to be described by the team. “We have made more exciting discoveries including two new species of dinosaur,” Makovicky says.

“Stay tuned,” adds Zanno. “There are a lot more cool critters where Siats came from.”

All fieldwork was conducted under permits through the Bureau of Land Management and funded by the Field Museum. Research was funded by North Carolina State University, North Carolina Museum of Natural Sciences and the Field Museum.

NY State University

Victor Borge

Attitude IS Everything!

Received this email....

ALL CHAIN MAILS DESIGNED TO WASTE YOUR TIME AND GET YOUR EMAIL ADDY ON SPAM LISTS

I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat crap in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing.


Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.


I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown)who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.


I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program. (Allen!)


I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.


I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.


I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.


Thanks to all of my friends, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.


Because of your concern, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.


I no longer can buy gasoline without taking a man along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas.


I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.


I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.


And, thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face...disfiguring me for life.


I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.


I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army.


I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Singapore, and I no longer have any sneakers --but that will change once I receive my free replacement pair from Nike.


I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe. Thanks to any and all of you who told me I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.


Thank you too for all the endless advice Andy Rooney has given us. I can live a better life now because he's told us how to fix everything.


And, thanks to your great advice, I can't ever pick up $5.00 I dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.



FAVORITE PART OF THIS IS...TADA...........If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 4:00 PM this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician...

Have a wonderful day!

Children...

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing he said was "DON'T!"

"Don't what?" Adam replied.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.

"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit!!!!!"

"No Way!"

"Yes way!"

"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.

"Why"

"Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants. A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was angry ! "Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.

"Uh huh," Adam replied.

"Then why did you?" said the Father.

"I don't know," said Eve.

"She started it!" Adam said

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"DID NOT!"

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

STROKE

Urban Legends Reference Pages: Strokelore

STROKE: Remember The 1st Three Letters...S...T...R.

My friend sent this to me and encouraged me to post it and spread the word. I agree. If everyone can remember something this simple, we could save some folks. Seriously.. Please read:

STROKE IDENTIFICATION:
During a BBQ, a friend stumbled and took a little fall - she assured everyone that she was fine (they offered to call paramedics) and just tripped over a brick because of her new shoes. They got her cleaned up and got her a new plate of food - while she appeared a bit shaken up, Ingrid went about enjoying herself the rest of the evening. Ingrid's husband called later telling everyone that his wife had been taken to the hospital - (at 6:00pm, Ingrid passed away.) She had suffered a stroke at the BBQ. Had they known how to identify the signs of a stroke, perhaps Ingrid would be with us today. Some don't die. They end up in a helpless, hopeless condition instead.

It only takes a minute to read this...

A neurologist says that if he can get to a stroke victim within 3 hours he can totally reverse the effects of a stroke...totally. He said the trick was getting a stroke recognized, diagnosed, and then getting the patient medically cared for within 3 hours, which is tough.

RECOGNIZING A STROKE
Thank God for the sense to remember S . .T . . .R . Read and Learn! Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortunately, the lack of awareness spells disaster. The stroke victim may suffer severe brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke.
Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions:

S * Ask the individual to SMILE.

T * Ask the person to TALK, to SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE(Coherently) (i.e. . . "It is sunny out today")

R * Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS.
NOTE: Another 'sign' of a stroke is this: Ask the person to 'stick' out their tongue. If the tongue is 'crooked', if it goes to one side or the other that is also an indication of a stroke. If he or she has trouble with ANY ONE of these tasks, call 911 immediately !! and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher.

A cardiologist says if everyone who reads this post and sends it to 10 people; you can bet that at least one life will be saved.

How to clean the house - and more!

HOW TO CLEAN THE HOUSE

1. Open a new file in your PC.
2. Name it "Housework."
3. Send it to the RECYCLE BIN
4. Empty the RECYCLE BIN
5. Your PC will ask you, "Are you sure you want to delete Housework permanently?"
6. Calmly answer, "Yes," and press the mouse button firmly......
7. Feel better?

Works for me!

TOONS

Here's my new living will template. Feel free to pass it on:

I, (name)_________________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.

Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of nitwit politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it or lawyers/doctors interested in simply running up the bills.

If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:

______a Glass of Wine,

______a Margarita,

______a Cold Beer,

______anything Chocolate,

______a pork chop

______shrimp, lobster, crab legs or fish

______the remote control

______a bowl of ice cream

______a hot dog, hamburger or bologna sandwich

______Sex

______a pair of new flip-flops

It should be presumed that I won't ever get better.

When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day. At this point it is time to call the New Orleans Jazz Funeral Band to come do their thing at my funeral, and ask all of my friends to raise their glasses to toast the good times we have had.

Signature: ____________________________

Date: _____________________ 2006

I also hear that in Ireland they have a Nursing Home with a Pub. The patients are happier and they have a lot more visitors. (Sounds like my kind of Nursing Home)

Running in the Rain

A little girl had been shopping with her Mom in Target. She must have been 6 years old, this beautiful red haired, freckle faced image of innocence. It was pouring outside. The kind of rain that gushes over the top of rain gutters, so much in a hurry to hit the earth it has no time to flow down the spout. We all stood there under the awning and just inside the door of the Target.

We waited, some patiently, others irritated because nature messed up their hurried day. I am always mesmerized by rainfall. I got lost in the sound and sight of the heavens washing away the dirt and dust of the world. Memories of running, splashing so carefree as a child came pouring in as a welcome reprieve from the worries of my day.

The little voice was so sweet as it broke the hypnotic trance we were all caught in, "Mom, let's run through the rain," she said.

"What?" Mom asked.

"Let's run through the rain!" she repeated.

"No, honey. We'll wait until it slows down a bit,"! Mom replied.

This young child waited about another minute and repeated, "Mom, let's run through the rain."

"We'll get soaked if we do," Mom said.

"No, we won't, Mom. That's not what you said this morning," the young girl said as she tugged at her Mom's arm.

"This morning? When did I say we could run through the rain and not get wet?"

"Don't you remember? When you were talking to Daddy about his cancer, you said, 'If God can get us through this, he can get us through anything!'"

The entire crowd stopped dead silent. I swear you couldn't hear anything but the rain. We all stood silently. No one came or left in the next few minutes.

Mom paused and thought for a moment about what she would say. Now some would laugh it off and scold her for being silly. Some might even ignore what was said. But this was a moment of affirmation in a young child's life. A time when innocent trust can be nurtured so that it will bloom into faith.

"Honey, you are absolutely right. Let's run through the rain. If God let's us get wet, well maybe we just needed washing," Mom said.

Then off they ran. We all stood watching, smiling and laughing as they darted past the cars and yes, through the puddles. They held their shopping bags over their heads just in case. They got soaked. But they were followed by a few who screamed and laughed like children all the way to their cars. And yes, I did. I ran. I got wet. I needed washing.

Circumstances or people can take away your material possessions, they can take away your money and they can take away your health. But no one can ever take away your precious memories... so, don't forget to make time and take opportunities to make memories everyday. To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven.

I HOPE YOU STILL TAKE THE TIME TO RUN THROUGH THE RAIN.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to
appreciate them, a day to love them but then an entire life to
forget them.

Take the time to live!!!

Keep in touch with your friends, you never know when you'll need each other -- and don't forget to run in the rain!

True...True...

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:

Indubitably
Innovative
Preliminary
Proliferation
Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:

Specificity
British Constitution
Passive-aggressive disorder
Loquacious Transubstantiate

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:

Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
Nope, no more booze for me.
Sorry, but you're not really my type.
Good evening officer! Isn't it lovely out tonight?
Oh, I just couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing.
Sorry I'm being such a jackass.

Jack the muppet - Mind blown!

Russian Helpers

Russian video that made the whole world cry. 
There is still hope on this world.

Bro Who Handled It Like A Boss

Dog talks excitedly about getting a cat...

Giggles, Guffaws and Groaners

Only in North America

Only in North America... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in North America... are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

Only in North America... do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in North America... do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet Coke.

Only in North America... do banks leave both doors to the vault open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in North America... do they leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in North America... do they use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so they won't miss a call from someone they didn't want to talk to in the first place.

Only in North America... do they buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only in North America... do they use the word "politics" to describe the process so well; "Poli" in Latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "bloodsucking creatures".

Only in North America... do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.



Jay went to a psychiatrist. “Doc, he said, “I’ve got trouble.

Every time I get into bed I think there is somebody under it.

I get under the bed; I think there’s somebody on top of it.

Top, under, under top. I’m going crazy!”

“Just put yourself in my hands for two years,” said the shrink.

“Come to me three times a week and I’ll cure you.”

“How much do you charge?”

“A hundred dollars per visit.”

“I’ll think about it.”

Jay never went back. Some time later he met the doctor on the street.

“Why didn’t you ever come to see me again? Asked the psychiatrist.

“For a hundred buck a visit? A bartender cured me for 10 dollars.”

“Is that so! How?”

“He told me to cut the legs off the bed.”



A couple is arguing about who should make the coffee in the morning. The wife says, “I think your should do it because you get up first.”

He counters with, “The kitchen is your domain, and you do all the cooking so you know where everything is. I think you should make the coffee.” “No way,” she says. “You should do it. The Bible even says so.” “What the heck are you talking about?” She grabs the family Bible, thumbs through, and point to the appropriate section: “Hebrews”

The sergeant-major growled at the young soldier: “I didn’t see you at camouflage training this morning.”

“Thank you very much, sir.”

Q: Why can't idiots make Kool-Aid?

A: They can't get a quart of water to stay in the envelope.

Mrs. Sullivan and her little daughter Patty were outside the church watching all the comings and goings of a wedding. After the photographs had been taken, everyone had driven off to the reception, and all the excitement was over. Patty asked her mother, “Why did the bride change her mind, Mommy?

“How do you mean, change her min?” asked Mrs. Sullivan.

“Well said the child, “she went into the church with one man and came out with another!”



“Honey,” says a husband to his wife, “I invited a friend home for supper.” “What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess. I haven’t been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don’t feel like cooking a fancy meal!!” “I know all that.” “Then why did you invite a friend for supper?” “Because the poor fool’s thinking about getting married.”



Two cowboys are riding their horses together on the prairie. They come upon a big pile of manure. The first cowboy goes to the second, "I will bet you a $1000 that I can eat all of this crap." The second cowboy agrees, so the first cowboy eats the entire pile and wins $1000.

The two cowboys ride on and after some time come across another pile of manure. This time the second cowboy bets the first that he too can eat the whole pile for $1000. The first cowboy agrees and the second cowboy eats the entire pile and wins the bet.

They ride on again. After a while the first cowboy says to the second, "Do you realize that we just ate a whole pile of manure for nothing?"



The Antartian reported for her university final examination which consisted of "yes/no" type questions. She took her seat in the examination hall and stared at the question paper for five minutes.

In a fit of inspiration, she took her purse out, removed a coin and started tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet - Yes for Heads and No for Tails. Within half an hour she was all done, whereas the rest of the class was still sweating it out.

During the last few minutes, she was seen desperately throwing the coin, muttering and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approached her and asked what was going on. Her reply was, "I finished the exam in half and hour, but I'm rechecking my answers."

Little Johnny wasn't very good at spelling. During an oral spelling exam, the teacher wrote the word "new" on the blackboard. "Now," she asked Johnny, "what word would we have if we placed a "K" in the front?"

After a moment's reflection, Johnny said, "Canoe?"

They can't all be funny!

Two bachelors, Larry and Frank were out to dinner. The conversation drifted from office, sports to politics and then to cooking. “I got a cook book once” said Larry. “But I couldn’t do anything with it.” “Too much fancy stuff in it, huh?” asked Frank. “You said it, Larry replied, nodding. “Every one of those recipes began the same way: “Take a clean plate…”