Daddy Cut The Big One

Click above

Giggles, Guffaws, and Groaners

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 mi/gal."

Recently General Motors addressed this comment by releasing the statement: "Yes, but would you want your car to crash twice a day?"

Not only that, but....

Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.

Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.

Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car to stop and fail and you would have to re-install the engine. For some strange reason, you would accept this too.

You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT". But, then you would have to buy more seats.

Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast, twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.

The Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades to their cars, which would make their cars run much slower.

The oil, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light.

New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.

The airbag system would say "are you sure?" before going off.

If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea what happened.



A biology teacher wished to demonstrate to his students the harmful effects of alcohol on living organisms. For his experiment, he showed them a beaker with pond water in which there was a thriving civilization of worms. When he added some alcohol into the beaker the worms doubled-up and died.

"Now," he said, what do you learn from this?"

An eager student gave his answer.

"Well the answer is obvious," he said " if you drink alcohol, you'll never have worms."



The following 15 Police Comments were taken from actual police car videos around the country. Count down to #1...

#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

# 14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

#11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

#10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O. K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and corn dogs and step in monkey poo. "

#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

#4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"

#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

#2 "I'm glad to hear that chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

The envelope please.....................

AND THE WINNER IS ...



#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."



Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asked a young Engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"

The Engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."

The interviewer enquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years say, a red Corvette?"

The Engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?"

And the interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it."



Ladies and gentlemen, hobos and tramps,

Bug-eyed mosquitoes and bowlegged ants!

I'm about to tell you a story I've never heard before,

So pull up a chair and sit on the floor.

Admission is free, so pay at the door.

One fine day, in the middle of the night,

two, dead boys got up to fight.

Back to back, they faced each other,

drew their swords and shot each other.

A deaf policeman heard the noise,

and saved the lives of the two dead boys.

If you don't believe my lies are true,

ask the blind man, he saw it too!



ATwo classmates were chatting in their lunch break...

"I know how to get money real quick" says one, how?"

"go to your dad and say, "I know the truth" and he'll give you money"

So the young boy went home and said "dad, I know the truth" and

his dad gave him ten dollars and told him not to tell anyone 'the truth'.

He then went to his mother, " Mom, I know the truth he said.

"Please don't tell your dad" she said and gave him twenty dollars.

Content with thirty dollars he went outside to go to the arcade and saw the milkman. "I know the truth, he shouted out.

The milkman replied "Well come and hug your real father then"



Well," snarled the tough old sergeant to the bewildered private. "I suppose after you get discharged from the Army, you'll just be waiting for me to die so you can come and spit on my grave."

"Not me, Serge!" the private replied. "Once I get out of the Army, I'm never going to stand in line again!"

The ZEN of Computing

In Japan, they are considering replacing the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft Error messages with Haiku poetry messages.

Haiku poetry has strict construction rules.

Each poem has only three lines, 17 syllables: five syllables in the first line, seven in the second, five in the third.
Haiku is used to communicate a timeless message often achieving a wistful, yearning and powerful insight through extreme brevity -- the essence of Zen:

Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

Your file was so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.

The Website you seek
Cannot be located, but
Countless more exist.

Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.

Program aborting:
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask far too much.

Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.

Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.

First snow, then silence.
This thousand-dollar screen dies
So beautifully.

With searching comes loss
And the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.

The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao-until
You bring fresh toner.

Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.

A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone.

Three things are certain:
Death, taxes and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.

You step in the stream,
But the water has moved on.
This page is not here.

Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.

Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.

Points to Ponder

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy


SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next."
They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Down on the farm

Comebacks from: "You're so gay!"

Boy 1: "Oh my god. You're so gay."
Boy 2: "Yes. But if you rub yourself on me then maybe I'll turn straight."

Boy 1: "Are you gay?"
Boy 2: "No, I'm just straight like a right angle."

Girl 1: "You're such a lesbian."
Girl 2: "Sneeze on me and maybe I'll catch the straights."

Boy 1: "You're so gay."
Boy 2: "Yeah. You'd better stand back. I'm feeling contagious today. If I sneeze, you might catch the gay."

Girl 1: "OMG! Lesbo!"
Girl 2: "OMG! Straighty!"

Boy 1: "Fag."
Boy 2: "No thanks. I don't smoke."

Boy 1: "You're a fag."
Boy 2 [after slight pause]: "Sorry, what was that? I wasn't listening. I was busy picturing you naked, and it was really good. I'm sure that you already knew that, though. Hell, half the school knows what you look like on your back with your legs up in the air."

Too Cute

Old Age

Gay football player claims kiss got him kicked off the team

A photo of Jamie Kuntz

Photo credit:  

queerty.com 

by CLAIRE THALKEN, examiner.com

According to ESPN news, linebacker Jamie Kuntz was booted off his college football team before even playing a game. A concussion prevented the freshman from suiting up for his first game, and a kiss from his much older boyfriend led to the player's dismissal.

Kuntz, 18, had enrolled at the North Dakota State College of Sciences on a partial football scholarship. The game against Snow College in Pueblo Colorado took place over Labor Day weekend.

Since he was unable to play, Kuntz was assigned to videotape the game for team review. He invited his 65 year old boyfriend to join him in the press box. Kuntz says they kissed when his team was down by 40 points.

It seems a teammate saw and reported the kiss to coach Chuck Parsons. When Parson confronted Kuntz about it he was told the older man was his grandfather. Feeling guilty, Kuntz later admitted the truth.


Shortly after, Parsons formally kicked Kuntz off the team. “This decision was arrived at solely on the basis of your conduct during the football game; and because you chose not to be truthful with me when I confronted you about whom else was in the box with you,” Parsons wrote. “Any conduct by any member of the program that would cause such a distraction during a game would warrant the same consequences.” Parsons cited Kuntz's behavior as violating the “conduct deemed detrimental to the team” specifically the team player manual's section on “lying to coaches, teachers or other school staff.”

Kuntz believes that the lie isn't the only reason. "I know if it was a girl in the press box, or even an older woman, nothing would have happened," he said. "If it was an older woman, I would have probably been congratulated for it from my teammates."

It seems coach Parsons is trying to avoid anticipated heckling from the LGTB community. Parsons recently joined the school's diversity council. The council's duties include organizing events for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender students. English professor Sybil Priebe who heads the council said she hadn't heard much about the incident.

The school's president didn't know whether or not it was the first case of a lie leading to a dismissal, and backs Parsons' decision. School officials said they were investigating for similar cases.

Kuntz was forced to inform his mother about his sexuality. "I'm struggling with it,"she said. "I love Jamie, and I'm proud of him, but I know what the school did was wrong."

Kuntz refuses to give up his football career. He is considering becoming a walk-on at a university outside of North Dakota.

The Pregnant Prostitute

A doctor asks a pregnant prostitute, "Do you know who the father is?"

The prostitute replies, "Oh! For goodness sakes, if you ate a can of beans would you know which one made you fart?"

Car sex.....

This photographer must have used a very powerful lens to be able to photograph this scene.

Check out the pictures - one by one.

What did you expect to see ?????
Yup, I was straining my eyeballs to try and see through the back window too!
Gotcha!!!
Hee! Hee!

My Son.....the Veterinarian

One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, the Pastor of a small church found a pink envelope containing $1,000. It happened again the next week!


The following Sunday, he watched as the offering was collected and saw an elderly woman put the distinctive pink envelope on the plate. This went on for weeks until the pastor, overcome by curiosity, approached her.


"Ma'am, I couldn't help but notice that you put $1,000 a week in the collection plate," he stated.

"Why yes," she replied, "every week my son send me money and I give some of it to the church."


The pastor replied, "That's wonderful. But $1000 is a lot, are you sure you can afford this? How much does he send you?"


The elderly woman answered, "$10,000 a week."

The pastor was amazed. "Your son is very successful; what does he do for a living?"

"He is a veterinarian," she answered.

"That's an honorable profession, but I had no idea they made that much money," the pastor said. "Where does he practice?"


The woman answered proudly, "In Nevada ....... He has two cat houses, one in LasVegas, and one in Reno."

This May Be THE Definition of a True Friend

Signs That You Are Suffering From Work Burnout...

You're so tired you now answer the phone, "Hell".

Your friends call to ask how you've been and you immediately scream "Get off my back, bitch!"

Your garbage can IS your "IN" box.

You wake up to discover your bed is on fire, but go back to sleep because you just don't care.



You have so much on your mind, you've forgotten how to pee.

Visions of the upcoming weekend help you make it through Monday.



You sleep more at work than at home.

You leave for a party and instinctively bring your ID badge.

Your Day-Timer exploded a week ago.

You think about how relaxing it would be if you were in jail right now.

You consider a 40 hour week a vacation.

You don't set your alarm anymore because you know your pager will go off before your alarm does.

Telemarketer Revenge

Do you get lots of annoying calls from telemarketers? Don't get upset about it! Use the opportunity to get a laugh!

1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.

2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "Why do you want to know?" Alternately, you can tell them, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died..."

When they try to get to the sell, just keep talking about your problems.



3. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.

4. If they are selling a lawn service to make your grass grow better, tell them it grows to fast now and green is not your favorite color anyway.



5. Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where she could know you from.

6. Say "No" over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.



7. If a long-distance provider calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends...would you be my friend?"

8. If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out GOAT blood? How about HUMAN blood?



9. After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.

10. Tell the telemarketer that you work for the same company, they often can't sell to employees.



11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a telemarketer, set the receiver down, shout or scream "Oh No!" and then hang up.

12. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.



13. Tell them it is dinnertime, BUT ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speakerphone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.

14. Tell the telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you some food.



15. Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.

16. Ask the telemarketer if they use the product they are trying to sell. If they do, ask for a complete report. If they don't, ask them why not since it is such a great product.



17. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"

18. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up ...louder ...louder ... louder...



19. Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD down.

20. Tell them that you are busy and ask for their phone number so you can call them back. If they say that they don't give out their phone number or they don't take calls, then ask for the caller's personal phone number at home. If then they say that they don't like being called at home, quickly say "Bingo!" and hang up.

Oh yah!

Do You Do Scrabble or just love word-play?

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE :
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS :
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS :
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS ! NO MORE Z'S

A DECIMAL POINT :
When you rearrange the letters:
I'M A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER

The Gunfighter

In the days of the Wild West, there was a young cowboy who wanted more than anything to be the greatest gunfighter in the world. He practiced every minute of his spare time, but he knew that he wasn't yet first-rate and that there must be something he was doing wrong.

Sitting in a saloon one night, he recognized an elderly man standing at the bar who - in his day - had the reputation of being the fastest gun in the West.

The young cowboy took a place next to the old-timer, bought him a drink and told him the story of his great ambition. "Do you think you could give me some tips?" he asked.

The old man looked him up and down and said, "Well, for one thing, you're wearing your gun too high. Tie the holster a little lower down on your leg."

"Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the young man.

"Sure will," replied the old-timer.

The young man did as he was told, stood up, whipped out his 44 and shot the bow tie off the piano player.

"That's terrific!" said the hot shot. "Got any more tips for me?"

"Yep," said the old man. "Cut a notch out of your holster where the hammer hits it. That'll give you a smoother draw."

"Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the younger man.

"You bet it will," said the old-timer.

The young man took out his knife, cut the notch, stood up, drew his gun in a blur, then shot the cufflink off the piano player.

"Wow!" exclaimed the cowboy. "I'm learnin' something here. Got any more tips?"

The old man pointed to a large can in the corner of the saloon. "See that axle grease over there? Coat your gun with it."

The young man went over to the can and smeared some of the grease on the barrel of his gun.

"No," said the old-timer, "I mean smear it ALL over the gun, handle and all."

"Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the young man.

"No," said the old-timer, "but when Wyatt Earp gets done playing the piano, he's gonna shove that gun up your a**, and it won't hurt as much!"

Punography

When chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.

PMS jokes aren't funny; period.

Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

We're going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection urine trouble.

Broken pencils are pointless.

I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

Velcro - what a rip off!

A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.

Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

things...

This afternoon's posts are some of my reader's and my favourites. Enjoy!

What Goes On When You Sleep...

"The Fly Story"


Click above to watch the story.

I'm Super, Thanks for asking...


Big Gay Al
Click above to hear the song. This one will open your Media player.

The Ultimate Tooth Whitener On A Budget!


Click above to find out more!

Strip Tease

Click above to watch him take it all off!

A Saskatchewan Taste Treat!



Chocolate Covered Grasshoppers

Ingredients:
baker's chocolate
candied crickets

Directions:
Melt baker's chocolate in double boiler.
Fill molds halfway with chocolate, add grasshoppers, fill rest of the way.

A tasty surprise in every one!

What Do You Think Caused Your Heterosexuality?


Click above to find out why you are heterosexual
and what can be done to help you recover.

biarn teirwsts

1) The Elder Twin

One day Kerry celebrated her birthday. Two days later her older twin brother, Terry, celebrated his birthday. How come?

2) Manhole Covers

Why is it better to have round manhole covers than square ones?

This is logical rather than lateral, but it is a good puzzle which can be solved by lateral thinking techniques. It is supposedly used by a very well-known software company as an interview question for prospective employees.

3) The Deadly Party

A man went to a party and drank some of the punch. He then left early. Everyone else at the party who drank the punch subsequently died of poisoning. Why did the man not die?

4) Trouble with Sons

A woman had two sons who were born on the same hour of the same day of the same year. But they were not twins. How could this be so?

5) The Man in the Bar

A man walks into a bar and asks the barman for a glass of water. The barman pulls out a gun and points it at the man. The man says 'Thank you' and walks out.

This puzzle has claims to be the best of the genre. It is simple in its statement, absolutely baffling and yet with a completely satisfying solution. Most people struggle very hard to solve this one yet they like the answer when they hear it or have the satisfaction of figuring it out.

Click here for the answers.

Very Punny

A man tried to phone the King of the Jungle.

All he got was a recorded message saying, "All the lions are busy right now. Please try later."



A man is driving down a country road, when he spots a farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that the farmer is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing.

The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the farmer and asks him, "Ah excuse me mister, but what are you doing?"

The farmer replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize."

"How?" asks the man, puzzled.

"Well I heard they give the Nobel Prize to people who are out standing in their field."



Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one and let the other one off.



Two tall trees are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them. One tree says to the other, "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?"

The other says he cannot tell. Just then a woodpecker lands in the sapling. The tall tree says, "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?"

The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree. He replies, "It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. That, my friends, is the best piece of ash I have ever put my pecker in."

Warning

There has been an increased rate of robbery using handguns in Canada. I warn you that some people may find this picture too graphic. DO NOT click here if you are weak of mind.

100 Reasons To Be Gay

In celebration of the mirth it caused I thought I’d share it with you all. Aren’t I kind ? If you’re on a random joke list then you might have seen it before, but the oldies are always the best (unless you’re lucky enough to pull some young chicken) and we say share and share alike (unless its an STD).

So, here are 100 reasons to be gay. How many can you own up to ?
Click here.

The Power of Words

This is a wonderful, thought-provoking, one minute clip

Full of wisdom. . . . and very brief.

It's not a joke, it's not religious, it's not political.

It's just . . . special. I think you'll agree.

Please enjoy this one minute clip; it is truly special. It has a meaning for all of us.

LETTERS THE LOVE DOCTOR ADMITS HE WAS AT A LOSS TO ANSWER

Dear Love Doctor,

A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid twenties. These two women go everywhere together and I've never seen a man go into or leave their apartment. Do you think they could be Lebanese?


Dear Love Doctor,

What can I do about all the Sex, Nudity, Foul Language and Violence On my VCR?


Dear Love Doctor,

I have a man I can't trust. He cheats so much, I'm not even sure the baby I'm carrying is his.


Dear Love Doctor,

I am a twenty-three year old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It's getting expensive and I think my boy friend should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discuss money with him.



Dear Love Doctor,

I've suspected that my husband has been fooling around, and when confronted with the evidence, he denied everything and said it would never happen again.


Dear Love Doctor,

Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was raised in a good Christian home turn against his own?


Dear Love Doctor,

I joined the Navy to see the world. I've seen it. Now how do I get out?


Dear Love Doctor,

My forty year old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50.00 an hour every week for two and a half years. He must be crazy.


Dear Love Doctor,

I was married to Bill for three months and I didn't know he drank until one night he came home sober.



(I love this one!!)
Dear Love Doctor,

My mother is mean and short tempered. I think she is going through mental pause.


Dear Love Doctor,

You told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex to send him to a doctor. Well, my husband lost all interest in sex and he is a Doctor. Now what do I do?

Obviously jokes. But if you have a real love question, Ask The Love Doctor!

--Send your questions about love to "The Love Doctor" directly from 'OZ' - The 'Other' Side of the Rainbow! I have added an email link that goes direct to The Love Doctor - this will enable quicker responses from him. You can do this by clicking on his picture in the sidebar and put your question in the email. This will ensure that The Love Doctor gets your question. The Love Doctor forwards his replies to me for posting consideration. Note: Due to the high volume of letters that The Love Doctor receives, not all letters will be posted on 'OZ' - but the Love Doctor will reply to every email. (so he says)

Riddle Me This!

What did you eat?

You throw away the outside and cook the inside. Then you eat the outside and throw away the inside. What did you eat?

Click above for the answer.

Senior Moment

Click on it for a larger version