Son of a Bitch Fish

The parish priest went on a fishing trip.

On the last day of his trip he hooked a monster fish and proceeded to reel it in.

The guide, holding a net, yelled, "Look at the size of that Son of a Bitch!"

"Son, I'm a priest. Your language is uncalled for!"

"No, Father, that's what kind of fish it is - a Son of a Bitch fish!"

"Really? Well then, help me land this Son of a Bitch!"

Once in the boat, they marveled at the size of the monster.

"Father, that's the biggest Son of a Bitch I've ever seen."

"Yes, it is a big Son of a Bitch. What should I do with it?"

"Why, eat it! Of course You've never tasted anything as good as Son of a Bitch!"

Elated, the priest headed home to the rectory.

While unloading his gear and his prize catch, Sister Mary inquired about his trip.

"Take a look at this big Son of a Bitch I caught!"

Sister Mary gasped and clutched her rosary, "Father!"

"It's OK, Sister. That's what kind of fish it is, a Son of a Bitch fish!"

"Oh, well then, what are you going to do with that big Son of a Bitch?"

Sister Mary informed the priest that the new Bishop was scheduled to visit in a few days and that they should fix the Son of a Bitch for his dinner.

"I'll even clean the Son of a Bitch," she said.

As she was cleaning the huge fish, the Friar walked in.

"What are you doing Sister?"

"Father wants me to clean this big Son of a Bitch for the new Bishop's Dinner."

"Sister! I'll clean it if you're so upset! Please watch your language!"

"No, no, no, it's called a Son of a Bitch Fish."

"Really? Well in that case, I'll fix up a great meal to go with it, and that Son of a Bitch can be the main course!"

"Let me know when you've finished cleaning that Sonof a Bitch."

On the night of the new Bishop's visit, everything was perfect. The Friar had prepared an excellent meal.

The wine was fine, and the fish was excellent.

The new Bishop said, "This is great fish, where did you get it?"

"I caught that Son of a Bitch!" proclaimed the proud priest.

"And I cleaned the Son of a Bitch!" exclaimed the Sister.

The Friar added, "And I prepared the Son of a Bitch using a special recipe!"

The new Bishop looked around at each of them.

A big smile crept across his face as he said,

"You Fuckers are my kind of people!"

*Thanks, DW

Coffee hurts

I was eating lunch on the 30 of June with a friend and her 6-year-old granddaughter. She was pretty animated as she talked about school and friends and teachers. As I sipped my coffee, I asked her, "What day is tomorrow?"

She said " Canada Day" She is a smart kid. So, I asked

"What does Canada Day mean?"

Waiting for her reply with something about the flag, confederation etc. She replied,

"Canada Day is when Prime Minister Harper steps out of the Parliament Building , and if he sees his shadow we have one more year of unemployment."

You know, it hurts when hot coffee spurts out your nose.

*Thanks, DW

The Pink Spotlight on Wes Funk

Wes Funk is a Canadian writer. Based in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, he has published two novels and a chapbook of poetry and short stories to date, with a third novel scheduled for publication in 2012. He also hosts a weekly television series, Lit Happens, on Shaw TV's services in Saskatchewan.

Funk, who is gay, was raised in a Mennonite household in rural Saskatchewan.


Several years ago, when Wes published his chapbook Humble Beginnings, no one was more surprised than him by how well-received it was. This moderate success inspired him to keep plugging away at his sort-of-memoir Dead Rock Stars.


Shortly after being released, his novel was a subject of numerous local radio and television talk shows. It was short-listed in the Readers' Choice category for the Saskatchewan Book Awards and received an Honourable Mention in Writer's Digest's International Self-Published Book Competition.

Wes' second novel Baggage, a tale of a group of Saskatoon misfits, has now also become a Saskatchewan Bestseller and a pick-of-the-month of several book clubs across Canada.

Besides being a published author, Wes has worked as a server, bartender, care-giver, janitor and a recreation therapist. He is heavily involved in Saskatchewan's Literary Community, and is an active member of the Saskatchewan Writers Guild and Saskatoon Writers Coop.


He has also been fortunate to be a recipient of the Saskatoon Public Library Writer-in-Residence Program, where he has been mentored by several widely-accomplished writers as J. Jill Robinson, Jeannette Lynes, Curtis Peeteetuce, Terry Jordan, John Barton, Anne Simpson, Alice Kuipers, and Yvette Nolan.


A strong belief in diversity, a passion for rock 'n' roll, and a love for the prairie lifestyle are all strong themes in Wes' writing. His work often appears in the National Canadian publication Good Times and in the Sask magazines Perceptions, and Saskatoon Express. He has received letters and emails from all over the world, from readers who have found comfort in his books.


Wes has extensive knowledge of today's quickly-expanding self-publishing industry and feels this is where his expertise truly lies in the world of creative writing.
Besides presenting readings and signings in bookstores, libraries, schools, and other reading venues across Canada, he often conducts workshops on independent publishing. Currently, he is also the host of the Saskatchewan Shaw TV Program Lit' Happens—a weekly television who's who of the Prairie Writing World. In 2011, Wes received his greatest literary honour to date, when he was asked to emcee the Saskatoon version of the prestigious national Word-on-the-Street Book Festival. Cherry Blossoms, his most powerful novel yet, is set to be released in 2012.


Wes lives with his partner and pets in their Saskatoon riverside home.

He is always happy to visit book clubs, classrooms, libraries, bookstores, and other reading venues.

Dead Rock Stars is now in the University of Saskatchewan Curriculum.

I am happy to count Wes in as a good friend.

To find out more of Saskatchewan's celebrated authour or to purchase a copy of Dead Rock Stars or Baggage, go to Wes's page.

*Information directly from Wes Funk's web page and Wikipedia

Gay Test

The Difference between the sexes

Friendship among women

A woman doesn't come home one night. The next day she tells her husband she slept over at a friend's house. The man calls his wife's 10 best friends. None of them know about it.

Friendship among men

A man doesn't come home one night. The next day he tells his wife he slept over at a friend's house. The woman calls her husband's 10 best friends. 8 of them say he did sleep over and 2 claim he's still there.

...and that my friends is the difference!

'Stop stealing our F**king signs'

The mayor of an Austrian town called 'F**king' has appealed to British tourists to stop stealing the road signs.

Siegfried Hauppl said the small town always attracted a lot of attention from tourists driving up from nearby Salzburg to pose for pictures in front of the signs.

But he said that, while the money they spent in the area was welcome, locals were fed up with having to replace the signs because people had been stealing them as souvenirs.

He said: "We had a vote last year on whether to rename the town, but decided to keep it as it is.

"After all, F**king has existed for 800 years, probably when a Mr F**k or the F**k family moved into the area. The 'ing' was added as a word for settlement."

Apparently the villagers didn't find out about the English meaning of the word until British and American soldiers stationed in the area in 1945 started arriving in large numbers.

Hauppl said: "We all know what it means now, but for us F**king is F**king - we don't give it a second thought."

Franz Duernsteiner, an expert on bizarre Austrian village names, said the residents of F**king were actually very "conservative" people.

He said: "Most of them can speak English, and when someone asks them where they come from they are a little ashamed to say it."

Residents of two other Austrian communities, Windpassing and W**k on the Lake, suffered a similar reluctance, he added.

*Ananova

Where's the remote?????

Taken at the Shamattawa dump in Manitoba




Where is the remote?

The Lighter Side of Star Trek

SLOW DANCE

Have you ever watched kids
on a merry-go-round
Or listened to the rain
slapping on the ground?

Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?

You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast
Time is short
The music won't last

Do you run through each day on the fly
When you ask "How are you?"
do you hear the reply?

When the day is done,
do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores
running through your head?

You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast
Time is short
The music won't last

Ever told your child,
We'll do it tomorrow
And in your haste, not see his sorrow?

Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die
'Cause you never had time
to call and say "Hi"?

You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast
Time is short
The music won't last

When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift....

Thrown away...
Life is not a race.
Do take it slower
Hear the music
Before the song is over.

*Louise L. Hay

Optical Illusion

Keep Looking... You might see a giraffe!

Saskatchewan Government Announces Cutbacks:

Affects Cities of: Regina and Saskatoon. Towns like Dog River and Woolerton, SK, may benefit.

As part of the cutbacks for 2008/2009, the snow equipment budget had to be realigned. Here is a picture of our new model:

No one in the big cities were available for comment, so The Wizard left for Dog River to get an exclusive comment from cornerstone resident and big business owner, Brent Leroy.

Brent Leroy, owner of Dog River's Corner Gas, (Gas and Convenience Store), reacts to the news:

"Yeah! I just read that in 'The Howler', eh?. It's just great! Before last year when we achieved official 'Town Status', (A whole bunch of Hollywood freaks came here to do some sort of nature film -- can you believe it? Here in Dog River, eh?! They just said to just keep on doing what we normally do, talk as if they weren't there. And they even paid us as 'extras'! I was able to buy a few more chili cheese dogs than before. That $10 sure came in handy! Who da thunk that they would be so intested in filming grass and such?)."

"Anyways, we did not even have a budget. Now we have a budget! Now Hank won't have to use his dirty hoe to clean up the street and sidewalk in Dog River. Myrtle will be so happy. You know last year she slipped on the sidewalk and broke her hip. (If that happened this year there'd be hell to pay. -oh. Can I say that? You know between you and me, I think she gets hooked on the painkillers, eh?.)"

"Anyways, Woolerton [spits], doesn't need one of those new plows. They only have one street! Just make sure that they don't add some kind of food tax and force a cut in Lacey's budget at The Ruby... I need my Chili-Cheese Dogs!"

"Above is me and Lacey celebrating with our first checks from the movie fella. Oh, and we rent movies."

Steve Walker (1961-2012)

Celebrated Canadian artist Steve Walker, whose work focused on scenes of men together is dead at age 50.

Born in Ottawa, Walker was 19 when he moved to Toronto to study theatre at university. Deeply affected by the impact of HIV/AIDS had on the gay community, he gave up his goal of being an actor and started to paint.

"Maybe, just maybe, I could help; find a cure for the hatred, fear and ignorance that surrounded so many young men around the world as they lay in hospital beds and drew the last breaths of unfinished lives." he wrote.

Walker said his paintings portrayed themes of love, attraction, hope, despair, loneliness and "the power of a person touching another."

His works, on display at bars and restaurants in Toronto's gay neighbourhood, captivated the public and he was soon exhibiting his paintings at galleries all over the U.S. and Canada. Walker's paintings were also widely published in magazines and calenders.

Walker had this to say about his work: "I hope that in its silence, the body of my work has given a voice to my life, the lives of others, and in doing so, the dignity of all people."

"I see my work as a documentation, an interpretation, a crystalization of singular moments rendered in line, colour, light, shadow, using a hundred brushes, a thousand colours, and a million brushstrokes," he wrote. "I strive to make people stop, if only a moment, think and actually feel something. My paintings contain as many questions as answers."

"It simply never occurred to me to paint about themes in any other context than my own life as a person who happens to be gay. I never had a problem relating to work created by heterosexuals in a heterosexual context. Why should I create paintings whose content was anything other than the truth of my life as a gay man?"

"I have never pretended to represent, depict, or even understand every homosexual or the sub-cultures within a gay culture. No heterosexual has ever represented all heterosexual people or all of their life experiences. It would be both naive and false for me to even attempt to do so with gay people."

A funeral service was held at Our Lady of the Visitation Church on Bank Street in Ottawa on February 25th at 11:00 AM. A memorial to celebrate Walker's life will also likely be held in Toronto on a later date.

"One Family's Values"

Click on the picture to goto his fanpages on facebook.

BIOGRAPHY: Drawing is one of Steve Walker's earliest childhood memories. He recollects drawing pictures from about the age of three or four years old. Drawing came naturally to the Toronto artist, and his love of the art form continued into his adulthood. As a self taught artist, Walker only began painting after a trip to Europe when he was 25 years old. During the trip, he spent much of his time in Europe touring the great galleries and museums. In his words it was the first time he was exposed to great painting, and the first time he recognized the potential power of the art form. "I was moved by something that I was capable of doing," he said. His first paintings were done in a somewhat secretive way, as he had no intention of exhibiting or selling, and had no aspirations of becoming a professional artist.

Producing art about his life and the lives of those around him is as natural to Walker as his first childhood drawings. As a gay man, Walker is acutely aware that he is living during a period of history that is both the best of times and the worst of times. There is more freedom and acceptance for gay men and women, while at the same time AIDS has devastated the gay population.

But Walker's paintings are not about gay people or homosexuality. He describes his art as being about love, hate, pain, joy, touch, communication, beauty, loneliness, attraction, hope, despair, life and death. His art includes universal themes regardless of race, gender, socio-economic class, culture or sexual orientation. However, his work is unique because he conveys these themes through the subjects in his paintings, young gay men. "Remove the gender of the painting's subjects and what we have is human relationships in general, and one's relationship to the world itself," he said. "As a homosexual I have been moved, educated, and inspired by works that deal with a heterosexual context. Why would I assume that a heterosexual would be incapable of appreciating work that speaks to common themes in life, as seen through my eyes as a gay man. If the heterosexual population is unable to do this, then the loss is theirs, not mine."

If Walker were an abstract painter or a landscape artist, he says his sexual orientation wouldn't matter. But since his paintings are about gay life, his sexual orientation becomes more important than his cultural background, age, or nationality.

The focus of his paintings often depict sadness and loneliness to reflect the reality that much of anyone's life is sad and lonely. Walker often portrays people in relationships as separate entities because that is the way he views them. He also uses a small and consistent palette of colours because he is comfortable with them and the colours provide the desired results. "Colour is very powerful and a little can go a long way if used effectively," he said. "Some colours are very exciting to me, while others are quite offensive. Painting flesh is very exciting because of the huge variations possible within a very small colour range."

Walker's artworks are very large, always measuring 36" by 48". He creates large paintings because he believes that a large image is more appealing than a smaller one. "Whether it's a television screen, cinema screen, or an image in a magazine, the size of the image connotes a degree of importance," he said. Walker said belonging to an oppressed minority group has been a driving force in creating his art. "Any minority wants and needs to find artistic voices that reflect their own personal situations, and, in doing so, validate and record their lives and cultures for themselves, and for the larger world," he said.

Walker said he experiences many small rewards during the creative process. "After hours of painting, I stand back and look at something that wasn't there before -- a hand, face, or piece of fabric will exist where there was once a blank canvas," he said.

As an artist, Walker said it's exciting to be working at a point in history where there is an audience ready to appreciate and consume his creations. "It is very rare to find success as an artist in your lifetime," he said. "My work will be around long after me, but seeing it affect people at the time that I am creating it is very rewarding."

In recent years Steve Walker's work has been exhibited in galleries in Toronto, Montreal, New York, Philadelphia and Key West.

The gay community of North America has responded very positively to Walker's art. "I am very aware of the appreciation from a group of people who recognize the time, energy and talent devoted to a body of work that speaks specifically to them but at the same time exists in the larger world that we all live in," he said.

&#185 ho·mo·e·rot·ic ( hō ' mō-ĭ-rŏt ' ĭk ) adj. Of or concerning homosexual love and
desire. Tending to arouse such desire.

REMEMBER... Daylight Savings Time begins on Sunday March 11th!

Daylight Savings Begins For You.. Not here in Saskatoon, tho... We never change!

Hope you will enjoy your one less hour of sleep, poor stiffs!!! Put yer clock forward an hour, eh?

On August 8, 2005, President George W. Bush signed the Energy Policy Act of 2005. This Act changed the time change dates for Daylight Saving Time in the U.S. Beginning in 2007, DST is on the second Sunday of March and end the first Sunday of November. Canada followed suit, but Saskatchewan never did like ol' 'W'!!!!

SANDSTORM!

Click above to see the pictures! Awesome!

The Only 7 Star Hotel In The World

Click above to have a look inside!

ROTFLMAO

LOL

Take "The Canadian Quiz"

Click on the flag to take the quiz. The Wizard got 18/20!

Congratulations Saskatchewan!

Kinsmen/Kinettes TeleMiracle 36 breaks record!


over $6 Million dollars raised!

Read about TeleMiracle here.

Wicked Adorable

*from WickedGayBlog.com


*Thanks, Daryn

Thoughts on Retirement

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, 'How old was your husband?'

'98,' she replied. 'Two years older than me'

'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented.

She responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it?



Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman:
'And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?' the reporter asked.
She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.'



The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.



I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.



I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.



An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart.
'Wal-Mart?' the preacher exclaimed. 'Why Wal-Mart?'
'Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week'.



My memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.



Know how to prevent sagging?
Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.



It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker.


These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, 'For fast relief.'

THE SENILITY PRAYER:
Grant me the senility to forget the people
I never liked anyway,
the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and
the eyesight to tell the difference.


Always Remember This:
You don't stop laughing because you grow old,
You grow old because you stop laughing.

Happiness Is A Voyage

A PowerPoint Presentation.
Click above

The Gay Rights Video That Will Send Chills Down Your Spine

I Want To Know What It's Like

Who's In Charge of The Body ??

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was in charge.

The brain said: "I should be in charge, because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."

"I should be in charge," said the stomach, "because I process food and give all of you energy."

"I should be in charge," said the heart, "because I pump the blood and circulate oxygen all over the body, so without me you'd all waste away."

"I should be in charge," said the rectum, "because I'm responsible for waste removal."

All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.

Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, and the blood was toxic.

Eventually the other organs gave in. They all agreed that the rectum should be the boss.


The moral of the story?

You don't have to be smart or important to be in charge...

just an asshole.

Funny wisdom, but believable !!

1. My wife and I divorced over religious differences. She thought she was God and I didn't.

2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

3. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!

4. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

5. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

6. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

7. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

8. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

9. I'm not a complete idiot --Some parts are missing.

10. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

11. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why is the room spinning medicine.

12. God must love stupid people; He made so many.

13. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

14. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

15. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

16. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!

17. Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up.

18. Procrastinate Now!

19. I have a degree in liberal arts; do you want fries with that?

20. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

21. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance

22. STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere!

23. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

24. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.

25. A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

26. HAM AND EGGS - A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

27. The trouble with life is there's no background music.

28. The original point and click was a Smith and Wesson.

29. The enjoyment of a day, is surviving it. WELL!!!!

REFLECTIONS - And then it is Winter

You know, time has a way of moving quickly and catching you unaware of the passing years.

It seems just yesterday that I was a young girl/boy, just married and embarking on my new life with my mate. And yet in a way, it seems like eons ago, and I wonder where all the years went. I know that I lived them all...

And I have glimpses of how it was back then and of all my hopes and dreams... But, here it is...the winter of my life and it catches me by surprise...

How did I get here so fast? Where did the years go and where did my babies go? And where did my youth go?

I remember well... seeing older people through the years and thinking that those older people were years away from me and that winter was so far off that I could not fathom it or imagine fully what it would be like...

But, here it is...husband retired and he's really getting gray...he moves slower and I see an older man now. He's in much better shape than me... but, I see the great change...

Not the one I married who was dark and young and strong... but, like me, his age is beginning to show and we are now those older folks that we used to see and never thought we'd be.

Each day now, I find that just getting a shower is a real target for the day! And taking a nap is not a treat anymore...it's mandatory! Cause if I don't on my own free will...I just fall asleep where I sit!

And so, now I enter into this new season of my life unprepared for all the aches and pains and the loss of strength and ability to go and do things.

But, at least I know, that though the winter has come, and I'm not sure how long it will last...This I know, that when it's over...it's over....Yes , I have regrets ....There are things I wish I hadn't done ....things I should have done ..But indeed , there are many things I'm happy to have done ....It's all in a lifetime...

So, if you're not in your winter yet...let me remind you, that it will be here faster than you think. So, whatever you would like to accomplish in your life please do it quickly!

Life goes by quickly So, do what you can today, because you can never be sure whether this is your winter or not!

You have no promise that you will see all the seasons of your life...so, live for good today and say all the things that you want your loved ones to remember...

"Life is a gift to you. The way you live your life is your gift to those who came after. Make it a fantastic one."


LIVE IT WELL!!

~author unknown~

On-Line Orgasm!

Give it a try!

Click here.

Oh... I see now...

LAPPY 486

An amusing Flash movie. Click here.

Need some of these. I hate bones!

Quoth the sexy one...

Running in the Rain

A little girl had been shopping with her Mom in Target. She must have been 6 years old, this beautiful red haired, freckle faced image of innocence. It was pouring outside. The kind of rain that gushes over the top of rain gutters, so much in a hurry to hit the earth it has no time to flow down the spout. We all stood there under the awning and just inside the door of the Target.

We waited, some patiently, others irritated because nature messed up their hurried day. I am always mesmerized by rainfall. I got lost in the sound and sight of the heavens washing away the dirt and dust of the world. Memories of running, splashing so carefree as a child came pouring in as a welcome reprieve from the worries of my day.

The little voice was so sweet as it broke the hypnotic trance we were all caught in, "Mom, let's run through the rain," she said.

"What?" Mom asked.

"Let's run through the rain!" she repeated.

"No, honey. We'll wait until it slows down a bit,"! Mom replied.

This young child waited about another minute and repeated, "Mom, let's run through the rain."

"We'll get soaked if we do," Mom said.

"No, we won't, Mom. That's not what you said this morning," the young girl said as she tugged at her Mom's arm.

"This morning? When did I say we could run through the rain and not get wet?"

"Don't you remember? When you were talking to Daddy about his cancer, you said, 'If God can get us through this, he can get us through anything!'"

The entire crowd stopped dead silent. I swear you couldn't hear anything but the rain. We all stood silently. No one came or left in the next few minutes.

Mom paused and thought for a moment about what she would say. Now some would laugh it off and scold her for being silly. Some might even ignore what was said. But this was a moment of affirmation in a young child's life. A time when innocent trust can be nurtured so that it will bloom into faith.

"Honey, you are absolutely right. Let's run through the rain. If God let's us get wet, well maybe we just needed washing," Mom said.

Then off they ran. We all stood watching, smiling and laughing as they darted past the cars and yes, through the puddles. They held their shopping bags over their heads just in case. They got soaked. But they were followed by a few who screamed and laughed like children all the way to their cars. And yes, I did. I ran. I got wet. I needed washing.

Circumstances or people can take away your material possessions, they can take away your money and they can take away your health. But no one can ever take away your precious memories... so, don't forget to make time and take opportunities to make memories everyday. To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven.

I HOPE YOU STILL TAKE THE TIME TO RUN THROUGH THE RAIN.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to
appreciate them, a day to love them but then an entire life to
forget them.

Take the time to live!!!

Keep in touch with your friends, you never know when you'll need each other -- and don't forget to run in the rain!

You Know You Grew Up In The 80's or Early 90's

This like so so true..made me LOL!

1. You've ever ended a sentence with the word "SIKE"

2. You watched the Pound Puppies.

3. You can sing the rap to the "Fresh Prince of Bel Air" and can do the" Carlton".

4. Girls wore biker shorts under their skirts and felt stylishly sexy.

5. You yearned to be a member of the Baby-sitters club and tried to start a club of your own.

6. You owned those lil' Strawberry Shortcake pals scented dolls.

7. You know that "WOAH " comes from Joey on Blossom.

8. Two words: Hammer Pants

9. If you ever watched "Fraggle Rock"

10. You had plastic streamers on your handle bars... and "spokey-dokes" or playing cards on your spokes for that incredible sound effect.

11. You can sing the entire theme song to "Duck Tales " (Woo ooh!)

12. It was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.

13. You wore a ponytail on the side of your head.

14. You saw the original "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles " on the big screen...and still know the turtles names.

15. You got super-excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.

16. You made your mom buy one of those clips that would hold your shirt in a knot on the side.

17. You played the game "MASH " (Mansion, Apartment, Shelter, House)

18. You wore stonewashed Jordache jean jackets and were proud of it.

19. L.A. Gear....need I say more?

20. You wanted to change your name to "JEM" in Kindergarten. (She's truly outrageous.)

21. You remember reading "Tales of a fourth grade nothing" and all the Ramona books.

22. You know the profound meaning of "WAX ON, WAX OFF"

23. You wanted to be a Goonie.

24. You ever wore fluorescent clothing. (some of us...head-to-toe)

25. You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off and his cheeks shifted.

26. You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf.

27. You took lunch boxes to school... and traded Garbage Pail Kids in the schoolyard.

28. You remember the CRAZE, then the BANNING of slap bracelets.

29. You still get the urge to say "NOT " after every sentence

30. You remember Hypercolor t-shirts.

31. Barbie and the Rockers was your favorite band.

32. You thought She-ra (Princess of Power!) and He-Man should hook up.

33. You thought your childhood friends would never leave because you exchanged handmade friendship bracelets.

This needs no explanation!

34. You ever owned a pair of Jelly-Shoes. (and like #24, probably in neon colors, too)

35. After you saw Pee-Wee's Big Adventure you kept saying "I know you are, but what am I?"

36. You remember "I've fallen and I can't get up"

37. You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates.

38. You ever got seriously injured on a Slip and Slide.

39. You have ever played with a Skip-It.

40. You had or attended a birthday party at McDonalds.

41. You've gone through this nodding your head in agreement.

42. You remember "Popples".

43. "Don't worry, be happy"

44. You wore like, EIGHT pairs of socks over tights with high top Reeboks.

45. You wore socks scrunched down (and sometimes still do...getting yelled at by "younger hip" members of the family)

46. You remember boom boxes..?and walking around with one on your shoulder like you were all that.

47. You remember watching both "Gremlins "movies.

48. You know what it meant to say "Care Bear Stare!!"

49. You remember watching "Rainbow Bright" and "My Little Pony Tales"

50. You thought Doogie Howser/Samantha Micelli was hot.

51. You remember Alf, the lil furry brown alien from Melmac.

52. You remember New Kids on the Block when they were cool...and don't even flinch when people refer to them as "NKOTB".

53. You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By The Bell"

54. You know all the words to Bon Jovi - SHOT THROUGH THE HEART.

55. You just sang those words to yourself.

56. You remember watching Magic vs. Bird.

57. Homemade Levi shorts... (the shorter the better)

58. You remember when mullets were cool!

59. You had a mullet!

60. You still sing "We are the World"

61. You tight rolled your jeans.

62. You owned a banana clip

63. You remember "Where's the Beef?"

64. You used to (and probably still do) say "What you talkin' about Willis?"

65. You had big hair and you knew how to use it.

66. You're still singing shot through the heart in your head, aren't you!!!

67."Thunder...thunder...thunder...thundercats...HO!!!!!!!

68. You wore overalls with only one strap on your shoulder.

69. You see the new commercial of the "Heinz" boy Mikey and wonder if that is REALLY him, all grown up.

70. You know that Adam Sandler started his career as Theo's friend on Cosby.

71. You watched you can't do that on television faithfully and still can't figure out which character was Alanis Morrisette

And finally...



72. Michael Jackson was COOL!

Daddy Cut the Big One!

Click above

2011's Most Memorable LGBT Quotes

AfterElton.com

I don’t f*cking care if I pissed off some gays, because if they can take a f*cking dick up their *ss, they can take a f*cking joke.

Tracy Morgan to his audience at Nashville’s Ryman Auditorium



Life is too serious to not laugh and enjoy some humor. I now no longer enjoy Tracy Morgan’s humor … I'm not angry ... just very very very disappointed.

From Kevin Roger’s Facebook post, "Why I No Longer 'Like' Tracy Morgan"



I hope for his sake that Tracy’s apology will be accepted as sincere by his gay and lesbian coworkers at 30 Rock, without whom Tracy would not have lines to say, clothes to wear, sets to stand on, scene partners to act with, or a printed-out paycheck from accounting to put in his pocket.

30 Rock creator Tina Fey reaction


Booooo!

Audience response to a question by gay soldier Stephen Hill at a Republican Presidential debate hosted by FOX News.



Like being a woman, like being a racial religious tribal or ethnic minority, being LGBT does not make you less human. And that is why gay rights are Human Rights and Human Rights are gay rights.

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton in a speech to the United Nations



No country should deny people their rights because of who they love, which is why we must stand up for the rights of gays and lesbians everywhere.

President Barack Obama in a foreign policy memorandum



I feel that gay people not being able to get married for generations, forever, meant that we came up with alternative ways of recognizing relationships. And I worry that if everybody has access to the same institutions that we lose the creativity of subcultures having to make it on their own. And I like gay culture.

Rachel Maddow discussing her opinion on same-sex marriage.



Being brought up in a Christian home and still identifying as Christian, I get pretty annoyed with the Christian lobbies around the world who say gay marriage destroys the family and all that kind of rubbish. They claim to follow someone who always stood up for the oppressed and marginalised.

Australian rugby player David Pocock. He and his girlfriend say they won't get married until their lesbian and gay friends can.



Sebastian: One of us has a hard luck case of the gay face, and it ain't me.
Kurt: You smell like Craigslist.

From the December 6th epiosde of Glee, "Hold On To Sixteen"



I promise to stand by you unwaveringly through thick and some day, God willing, through thin.

SiriusXM OutQ personality Frank DeCaro broadcasting his wedding vow to husband Jim Colucci



I'm beautiful in my way 'cause God makes no mistakes. I'm on the right track baby, I was born this way.

Lady Gaga, chorus to "Born This Way"



Make no mistake, I am a Christian and I believe in God and I don’t believe he makes mistakes, so I believe that being gay is not a sin and in fact it’s how you’re made.

Actress Kristin Chenowith appearing on The Joy Behar Show



Remember, the change you want to see in the world, and in your school, begins with you.

Tyler Clementi’s father, Joseph Clementi opening remarks at Rutgers University’s symposium on the use and misuse of social networking



If you don’t like gay marriage, blame straight people. They’re the ones who keep having gay babies.

Sign outside an NYC restaurant



When I was a kid out here in L.A., I was homeless, I didn’t have any money and I was living in my car. I wasn’t averse to going down to Santa Monica Boulevard and letting a guy buy me a sandwich. Know what I mean?

Hung star Thomas Jane on his early days in Hollywood.



"Niggas is gay. There's millions of gay people in the world. Girls too... I'm a fan of 'Yo, I'm gay. The f*ck.' Like, 2011 you gotta hide that you're gay? Like, you know what I'm saying, like, be real, like 'Yo I'm gay, what the f*ck.' If you gay you gay. Like that's your preference, you know? F*ck it if the people don't like it."

DJ Fat Joe in response to whether he's ever done a song with a gay rapper.



I wanted to show America a different kind of man. If there was someone like me when I was growing up, my whole life would have been different.

Dancing With the Stars contestant Chaz Bono on his elimination from the series.



I’m not ashamed of what I did. It doesn’t define me or who I am.

MTV Real World cast member and former gay porn model Dustin Zito


People from pre-sexual revolution and even from the 60s and the birth of the gay movement still define gay as two men or two women having sex. Our generation defines it from a more emotional standpoint. To be gay means you are drawn to the same sex. But it’s a part of who you are, an identity, not an act.

J. Edgar screenwriter Dustin Lance Black in a WSJ interview.



In the gay world, [relationships] will always be open. There is no curbing the gay man.

Bravo network’s Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger


Well, you show me the science [that being gay is not a choice] and I’ll be persuaded.

Republican presidential aspirant Herman Cain on The View



Is it adultery if I'm committing it at one end of a guy and he's committing it at the other end of that same guy?

Dan Savage when asked by Stephen Colbert if he's ever committed adultery.



A lot of people are curious why I’m a lesbian. Ladies and gentlemen, the cast of Entourage!

Emmy Awards host Jane Lynch



OMG! Is this true? [Marcus Bachmann] has a Christian clinic where he de-programs gay boys & girls! I’m gonna strangle him with my Boa!

Cher on Twitter



I really think, without trying to give us credit that we don’t deserve, I really feel like Kurt and Blaine are a modern version of Lucy and Ricky. Oh, I’m Lucy for sure.

So says multi-hyphenate Chris Colfer



The Democrats want me to live on their plantation as their slave, because I’m a gay person. And I refuse to do that.

A-List: Dallas cast member and Republican consultant Taylor Garrett commenting after allegedly being assaulted.



This show does something very special for the gay community. There’s a message hidden inside the totally gaudy package that is so fun to watch. It’s all about loving and accepting yourself, and every season I’m surprisingly moved by it.

Actor Jesse Tyler Ferguson shares his thoughts on RuPaul's Drag Race



We speak for the entire Giants organization when we say that there is no place in society for hatred and bullying against anyone.

San Francisco Giants pitcher Barry Zito in the first “It Gets Better” video made by a major league sports team

Dad, I’m gay.

Airman 1st class Randy Phillips phoning his father on YouTube after the demise of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”



I kept thinking, this is my first show, I don’t want to get fired. I was young, I was 22. I didn’t know anything. So that sort of started the idea of, okay, well, I’m working a lot, I guess I’ll just keep that gay part of my life on the back burner for now. I went so far as to sleep with women a couple times. It was a very confusing time for me.

Actor Sean Maher reflects on years in the Hollywood closet



I do not comment on my client's personal lives in the media. As for Luke, he did so once, a long time ago when he was an inexperienced, young actor and now with maturity and hindsight, he has learned not to engage the press in his personal life again.

Publicist for actor Luke Evans responds to AfterElton when asked to clarify whether Evans still considers himself openly gay (as he did in a 2002 interview).




These people who are making a big deal out of gay marriage? I don’t give a f*ck about who wants to get married to anybody else! Why not?! We’re making a big deal out of things we shouldn’t be making a deal out of. They go on and on with all this bullsh*t about ‘sanctity’. Don’t give me that sanctity crap! Just give everybody the chance to have the life they want.

Oscar winner Clint Eastwood



Attention every breeder, you’re invited to the theatre, it’s not just for gays anymore!

Tony Awards host Neil Patrick Harris’ opening number



I'm not ashamed to be a Christian. But you don't have to be in the pew every Sunday to know that there's something wrong in this country when gays can serve openly in the military but our kids can't openly celebrate Christmas or pray in school.

Texas Governor and GOP presidential candidate Rick Perry in his "Strong" campaign commercial



The Republican path to victory is compromised when gay Americans are perceived as being attacked for just being how God created them.

Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus



He was the up and equal homosexual who would not sit at the back of the bus.

Yale Law Professor William Eskridge, honoring the late gay rights pioneer, Frank Kameny



We need marriage equality in every state in this nation. Otherwise, no state really has marriage equality, and we will not rest until it is a reality.

New York Governor Andrew Cuomo

TROY - The Latest Strip

This a gay-themed comic
--Wizard's Note: I have updated all the TROY posts to reflect Michael Derry's new domain. Links are no longer broken--


Click Above Then choose 'Current Strip'.

Troy # 299 Bachelor Parties, NYC is out in the magazines and up online. The boys take Troy out for a night on the town in New York to celebrate his last night as a single man.

And you can find Michael's books and ebooks for sale at TROY Tooner.