***Disclaimer***

Disclaimer: The Wizard of 'OZ' makes no money from 'OZ' - The 'Other' Side of the Rainbow. 'OZ' is 100 % paid ad-free

Friday, September 05, 2008

Lunch on the skyscraper...or Why Women Live Longer Than Men...


A look at work on the New York skyline circ. 1930’s!
Not much safety involved!

The title the first of the following photographs "Lunch atop a Skyscraper" or "Lunch at the top of a skyscraper" The author is Charles C. Ebbets. He is one of the more solid photographers of the world. The photographs were taken in New York, on September 29th 1932, and published in the New York Herald Tribune in the Sunday supplement of the Oct. 2nd of that year. It was taken on the 69th floor of the 70that is the GE building in the Rockefeller Center.


This is Charles Ebbets while taking some of these photographs


And this one, is another mythical photo "Resting on the girder" of 1932


Many of these images comprise the Bettmann file, founded by Otto Bettmann in 1936. It contains a collection of 11 million photographs and includes some of the best historical images of the United States. At the present time the file belongs to the Corbis company, property of Bill Gates.


*Thanks, Erwin

TRUE or FALSE? YOU DECIDE!



The Princess slept on 20 mattresses in the Hans Christian Andersen fairy tale The Princess and the Pea.







Yep! She slept on 20 mattresses (and 20 eiderdowns).




Lord and Taylor's Princess and the pea

Balloons

life is too short to wake up with regrets.
So love the people who treat you right.
Forget about the ones who don't.
Believe everything happens for a reason.. If you
get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it
changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy,
they just promised it would be worth it.

balloons
women

Friends are like balloons; once you let them go,
you can't get them back.

*Thanks, Pam

Thursday, September 04, 2008

Tulipan Condoms - Father and Son

Father and Son - Father doesn't always know best - at least not right away...

*Thanks, Daryn

New Little Caesars Marketing Strategy Has Employees Throw Themselves On Hoods Of Passing Cars


DETROIT—Following the failure of the pizza chain's TV advertisements and coupon flier promotions, the Little Caesars corporate office introduced a new marketing strategy for select locations Tuesday that involves their employees standing outside the restaurant and hurling themselves onto the hoods of passing cars while shouting the day's special offers.

"In today's media-saturated world, the key is getting the customer's attention," market analyst Jodi Baer said. "Darting out into the street, leaping in front of a speeding car, and quickly screaming 'One large 14-inch pizza plus an order of Crazy Bread for just $10.99!' before smashing through the windshield accomplishes that goal."

This replaces the company's previous outside-the-box marketing campaign, in which employees strapped 15 pounds of explosives to their chests and screamed "Pizza! Pizza!" before blowing themselves up in a crowded marketplace.


*The Onion

Tech Help Calls


Actual call center conversations!

Customer: 'I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and can't get through; Can you help?'
Operator: 'Where did you get that number, sir?'
Customer: 'It's on the door of your business.'
Operator: 'Sir, those are the hours that we are open.'

Press the 'ANY' Key


Samsung Electronics
Caller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about.'
Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I think it means the telephone plug on the wall.'

Press the 'ANY' Key

RAC Motoring Services
Caller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am traveling in Australia ?'
Operator: 'Does the product name give you a clue?'

Press the 'ANY' Key


Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while traveling in Europe)
'If I register my car in France, and then take it to England, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?'

Press the 'ANY' Key

Directory Enquiries
Caller: 'I'd like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please'
Operator: 'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Are you sure that the spelling is correct?'
Caller: 'Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off.'

Press the 'ANY' Key


Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: 'Woven? Are you sure?'
Caller: 'Yes. That's what it says on the label -- Woven in Scotland '

Press the 'ANY' Key

On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator: 'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on.'

Press the 'ANY' Key

Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.'
Customer: 'OK.'
Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'
Customer: 'No.'
Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'
Customer: 'No.'
Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'
Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'.'

Press the 'ANY' Key


Tech Support: 'OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?'
Customer: 'Wow! How can you see my screen from there?'

Press the 'ANY' Key


Caller: 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that I need it. So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my file back again?'


*Thanks, Bright Eyes!

"Mad World"


All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
And their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had

drams that when i'm dying
I find it hard to tell you
'Cos I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad World
Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday
Made to feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson
Look right through me, look right through me

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Jest Jokes...


A husband comes home and sees his wife painting the living room, but she had her raincoat and her fur coat on. He asks her why she has her coats on. She replies, "I read the can, and it said for best results put on two coats."

HYUK!

A sadist and a masochist were locked in a room together.
In a very short while the masochist began to freak out, begging "Hit me, hit me!” To which the sadist replied, “No"


HYUK!

The new army recruit was serving his first guard duty. He did his best for a while but about 5 a.m. he went to sleep. When he opened his eyes he found the day officer standing before him. Remembering the stiff penalty for being asleep on guard duty, this clever young man kept his head bowed for another moment, then looked upward and reverently said, “A-a-a-men!”

HYUK!

“Have you got any kittens going cheap?” Asked a customer in a pet shop.
“No, sir,” replied the owner. “All our kittens go “Meow.”

HYUK!

A cowboy rides into town on Friday, stays three days and leaves on Friday how does he do it?

The horse's name is Friday


Woo! HOO!!

Old Age


Old Age, I decided, is a gift

I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body, the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt. And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror (who looks like my mother/father!), but I don't agonize over those things for long.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend.


I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.


I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.


Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon?

I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60&70's, and if I, at the ame time, wish to weep over a lost love .. I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set.


They, too, will get old.


I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day. (If I feel like it)

MAY YOU ALWAYS HAVE A RAINBOW OF SMILES ON YOUR FACE AND IN YOUR HEART FOREVER AND EVER!


*Thanks, Gary

Musician, actor Jerry Reed dies at 71


By PETER COOPER • Staff Writer, Tennesee.com

Jerry ReedJerry Reed, country music’s howling virtuoso and a star of stage, studio and screen, has died. Born Jerry Reed Hubbard, Mr. Reed suffered from emphysema and was in hospice care. He was 71, and he leaves an unparalleled legacy of laughter and song.

By the time Mr. Reed came to popular attention as Burt Reynolds’ truck-driving Reynolds and Reedsidekick “The Snowman” in the Hollywood trilogy Smokey and the Bandit, he was already a musical deity to the guitar players who admired the syncopated flurries he unleashed with a casual gleam. He was also a hit recording artist by that time, having topped the charts with “When You’re Hot, You’re Hot” and “Lord, Mr. Ford,’ and having written songs for Elvis Presley, Johnny Cash, Porter Wagoner, Brenda Lee and others. Then there was his work as session guitarist for Presley, Waylon Jennings, Bobby Bare and many others.

Mr. Reed enjoyed his comedic Hollywood roles (which included a part in the 1998 Adam Sandler film, The Waterboy), and he often smiled when movie fans would ask for an autograph without realizing that he was a singer and guitarist of significance. Music was most important to him, though. Asked by interviewer Frank Goodman which facet of music he preferred – songwriter, solo guitarist, session man or entertainer – Mr. Reed said, “Hey, that’s like trying to pick out your favorite leg.”

“There’s nothing on earth as powerful as music, period,” he told Goodman. “I mean, it’s pretty hard to fight and hate and be angry when you’re making music, isn’t it?”

As Mr. Reed’s health declined in recent years, he focused on spiritual studies and on bringing attention to veterans’ issues.

“For 50 years, all I’d done was take, take, take,” he told The Tennessean’s Tim Ghianni in 2007. “I decided from now on it is going to be giving. And I’m way behind. We’re all way behind. We live this life like what’s down here is what it’s all about. We’re temporary, son, like a wisp of smoke.”

Mr. Reed was born in Atlanta, Ga., on March 20, 1937. He was the son of cotton mill workers Robert Spencer Hubbard and Cynthia Hubbard, who divorced in their son’s first year. From fall of 1937 until 1944, the boy lived in orphanages and foster homes. He rejoined his mother when she married mill worker Hubert Howard in 1944.

Already transfixed by music, he listened to the Grand Ole Opry on the radio each Friday night, jumping around on a woodpile in lieu of a stage, and playing a hairbrush as if it was a rhythm guitar. Noticing his enthusiasm, Cynthia Howard bought a used guitar from a neighbor for $7, presented it to her son and taught him two chords. He began striking the strings with a thumb-pick, a practice he continued throughout his career. When a guitar teacher told him to discontinue that method, an already headstrong Mr. Reed dropped the teacher rather than the pick.

Hearing finger-style guitarist Merle Travis play “I Am A Pilgrim” caused young Mr. Reed to aspire to something beyond simplicity.

“I thought when I heard it, ‘Boy, there it is! That man is walking with the big dog. He knows where the bodies are buried, and I want some of that,’” Mr. Reed told Bob Anderson in a 1979 interview.

Another hero was banjo great Earl Scruggs, and Mr. Reed ultimately arrived at a guitar style that fused Scruggs’ rapid torrents of notes with the rhythms heard in Ray Charles’ “What’d I Say.” That is the style that made Mr. Reed an inspiration to generations of guitarists, and though he would not fully realize his signature sound until the 1960s, he spent his high school years honing his musical and performing chops and displaying a talent and magnetism that set him apart from others at school.

In 1954, he played a self-penned song called “Aunt Meg’s Wooden Leg” for Atlanta publisher and radio host Bill Lowery, who began managing and booking the young man. A 30-day tour opening shows for Ernest Tubb and the Texas Troubadours ensued, and the experience was enough to convince Mr. Reed that high school was of little use to him.

“I knew what I was going to spend my life doing,” he later said. “Nothing else made any sense. Nothing else made any difference.”

In 1954, a 17-year-old Mr. Reed played a show in Atlanta in honor of country star Faron Young, who had been discharged from the Army. Ken Nelson ran Capitol Records, and Nelson attended the Atlanta show. Lowery, who had hired Mr. Reed as a disc jockey at Atlanta’s WGST, told Nelson that Capitol could do worse than to sign the cotton mill boy from Georgia.

Reluctant to sign such a young act to Capitol, Nelson acquiesced. He told Mr. Reed to wait until his 18th birthday before recording, and in October of 1955 the men entered a Nashville studio and made a record. First single “If The Good Lord’s Willing And The Creeks Don’t Rise” did not make any great commercial waves, and neither did follow-up single “I’m A Lover, Not A Fighter.” And neither did any others of Mr. Reed’s Capitol recordings, as he flailed about for a form that rang true. He moved through country, pop and rockabilly, to little avail.

“My records were selling like hot cakes: About fifty cents a stack,” he often joked in later years.

In 1958, Mr. Reed ended his association with Capitol. He enlisted in the United States Army in 1959, the same year he married Priscilla “Prissy” Mitchell. Army brass thought Mr. Reed’s talents better suited for a stage than a battlefield, and the would-be warrior became a member of the army’s Circle A Wranglers band. Meanwhile, Lowery kept pitching Mr. Reed’s songs to others. In 1960, Brenda Lee had a Top 10 pop hit with Mr. Reed’s “That’s All You Gotta Do.” That song was the “flip” side of Lee’s wildly popular single “I’m Sorry.” That success was a change for the better, as was a 1961 military discharge and the development of a unique guitar-playing method that would later be called “Claw style.”

“If (Merle) Travis’ thumb and index finger picking style was first generation, and Chet Atkins’ use of thumb, index and middle finger was second, Reed’s use of his entire right hand to pick (the famous “claw” style) was the wild, untamed and dauntingly complex third generation,” wrote historian and journalist Rich Kienzle.

Jerry ReedMr. Reed switched from a steel-stringed acoustic guitar to a nylon-stringed Baldwin model, with an electronic “pickup” that allowed the guitar to be heard above a full band. He signed a Columbia Records contract in 1961, but that deal yielded no hits. His songwriting and session playing proved more lucrative, as he performed on hits for Bobby Bare and he penned Porter Wagoner’s 1962 No. 1 hit, “Misery Loves Company.” And Mr. Reed attracted a high-powered fan in Chet Atkins, the guitar star who ran Nashville’s branch of RCA.

“Chet and I had got friendly, and he told me, ‘You ain’t never going to have a hit recording what’s not you. Just go in there and be what you are.’ Chet thinks I’m funky,” Mr. Reed told Morton Moss of the Los Angeles Herald-Examiner.

Atkins expressed interest in Mr. Reed signing to RCA, and Mr. Reed broke the news to a Columbia Records executive that he would like to go to RCA. “It really broke his heart,” Mr. Reed recalled, later. “Took him about 30 seconds to let me go.”

Atkins was determined to record Mr. Reed as an atypical artist rather than molding him into a pre-established model. In his guitar work and in the songs he wrote, Mr. Reed revealed a humor and a wit that set him apart from other performers and endeared him to audiences.

The key was capturing that in a way that didn’t dull spontaneity or intelligence, and Atkins figured quite correctly that he knew how to do this. Rather than asking Mr. Reed to write or record for a particular audience demographic, as he’d done on Capitol and Columbia, Atkins insisted that Mr. Reed be Mr. Reed.

“I owe almost every bit of success that has come to me to Chet Atkins,” Mr. Reed told the Associated Press in 1999. “He’s a nonconformist, and he suggested that I just play my guitar and sing my songs and he’d release singles.”

The first best result of Mr. Atkins’ prodding was instrumental showcase “The Claw,” so named because of the way Mr. Reed’s hand looked when playing in his intricate style.

Then, Mr. Reed came up with “Guitar Man,” which showcased his guitar work, his voice and his storytelling ability. “Guitar Man” was followed by “Tupelo Mississippi Flash,” which became Mr. Reed’s first Top 20 hit, in 1967. “Tupelo Mississippi Flash” was a funky laugher that poked fun at an industry executive who didn’t understand the power and reach of Elvis Presley.

In fact, Presley recorded two songs from Mr. Reed’s pen, “U.S. Male” and “Guitar Man.” Presley was unhappy with others’ attempts to recreate Mr. Reed’s guitar sound, and Mr. Reed received a telephone call from producer Felton Jarvis, asking how he did what he did. Mr. Reed told Jarvis that the only way to get the Jerry Reed sound was to have Jerry Reed on the session, asserting that most studio players are “straight pickers,” while, “I play with my fingers and tune that guitar up all weird kind of ways.”

Jarvis, and Presley, took note, and Mr. Reed performed on the Presley sessions. It all made sense: The only way to sound like Jerry Reed was to be Jerry Reed.

Mr. Reed wrote “Alabama Wild Man,” a Top 50 country hit in 1968 that gave the native Georgian a fun but geographically incorrect nickname. But his breakthrough moment came in late 1970, when the funny, funky and swampy “Amos Moses” landed in the Top 10 of the pop charts and in the Top 20 of the country charts. An instrumental with Atkins won a Grammy in 1971, and the following year Mr. Reed won a best country male performance Grammy for his first No. 1 country smash, appropriately titled “When You’re Hot, You’re Hot.” Two years later, he hit No. 1 again with the modern times lament, “Lord, Mr. Ford.”

During this time, Mr. Reed was also appearing regularly on friend Glen Campbell’s Goodtime Hour, and television types took notice of his charisma. In 1974, he played a joke-cracking role in W.W. and the Dixie Dance Kings. His best-loved film role came in 1977, when he starred as Cledus Snow, a.k.a. “The Snowman,” in the Reynolds’ flick Smokey and the Bandit. Mr. Reed co-wrote the movie’s theme song, “East Bound and Down,” which spent two weeks at No. 2 on the Billboard Country singles chart.

The Hollywood success and country hits provided smiles for Mr. Reed’s casual fans, but musicians also took notice of the staggering virtuosity behind the records. Brent Mason, now the top session man in Nashville, calls Mr. Reed “my favorite guitar player of all time.” And scores of others sought to decipher the secrets behind Mr. Reed’s rocket-fueled licks. As Guitar Town struggled to catch up, Mr. Reed notched another No. 1 hit with “She Got The Goldmine (I Got The Shaft)” and a No. 2. effort with “The Bird,” in which Mr. Reed displayed his spot-on impressions of Willie Nelson and George Jones.

And, in terms of chart runs and guitar innovation, that was it. Mr. Reed had no Top 20 hits after 1983, and his triumphs following that were limited to live performance and movie roles. But the sound he got out of his guitar in the years between 1967 and 1983 is an influence that is more than temporary, more than a wisp of smoke.

“Like Django (Reinhardt), Chet and a few others, Jerry Reed created a unique style of guitar playing, one which will be carried on by admirers for generations to come,” said esteemed musician David Hungate. Scholar John Knowles told Thomas Goldsmith, “His playing has the complexity of classical music but the rhythmic sense that comes from country, rock and gospel.”

There were plenty who never knew of Mr. Reed as anything more than “The Snowman,” or Reed as 'The Snowman'as the coach in The Waterboy. He was funny, and an entertainer, and in terms of movie-making that was enough. Yet Mr. Reed was also one of the most compellingly original guitarists of all time. He fully understood that most of the general public didn’t know that, and he fully understood that many session guitarists not only understood it but attempted to replicate his feel and technique. And he was fine with all of that.

“Every dream I ever dreamed came true in my life,” he told interviewer Calvin Gilbert in 2005. “I got to write hit songs… And I got to be on phonograph records… I’m a cotton mill boy, and I got to go to Hollywood. Can you imagine that? Why, yeah, my goodness gracious. Go figure.”


My Two Fathers


Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Only legally married gay couple celebrates first anniversary


(Des Moines, Iowa) As gay advocates await an Iowa Supreme Court hearing on same-sex marriage the state’s only legally married gay couple prepares to celebrate its first anniversary.

Last August Polk County Judge Robert Hanson struck down Iowa’s 1998 Defense of Marriage Act ruling that it violated the constitutional rights of due process and equal protection of six gay couples who had sued.

Later that day he stayed his ruling to allow for an appeal to the Supreme Court, but not before several dozen couples applied for marriage licenses.

The marriage license approval process normally takes three business days, but one couple took advantage of a loophole that allows couples to skip the waiting period if they pay a $5 fee and get a judge to sign a waiver.

Sean Fritz and Tim McQuillan became the only same-sex couple to be married in Iowa. On Saturday they will celebrate their first anniversary.

“We can’t believe it’s been a year already. It has been amazing, and while we knew before we were married that we were committed to each other, actually being married feels different - it is a special commitment,” said Tim and Sean McQuillan.

“We hope other same-sex couples in Iowa are allowed to experience the transformations that only marriage can bring to a relationship.”

Lambda Legal attorney Camilla Taylor, the lead lawyer on the marriage lawsuit congratulated the couple on Tuesday.

“We hope that all same-sex couples in Iowa who would like to marry will be able soon to enjoy the same wedded bliss and security that Tim and Sean have.”

The state appealed Judge Hanson’s ruling to the Iowa Supreme Court arguing that only the legislature or the people, not courts, should decide the issue of same-sex marriage.

The high court is expected to hear legal arguments in the case late this year.

Republicans have been trying unsuccessfully to get the Democratically controlled legislature to take up a proposed constitutional amendment to ban same-sex marriage.

A statewide poll earlier this year found that the majority of Iowa voters support restricting marriage to opposite-sex couples but at the same time were divided on a constitutional amendment to put that in place, and most believe same-sex couples should have the right to have civil unions.

The survey, by the Des Moines Register, found that 62 percent of prospective voters believe marriage should be available only to opposite-sex pairs. But when asked if the state constitution should be amended to block same sex marriage 48 percent said yes while 47 percent said no. Five percent had no opinion.

On the issue of civil unions more than half of those who responded said they would support the idea. About 40 percent were opposed.

In March, two former Iowa Lieutenant Governors, one a Republican the other a Democrat, submitted a brief to the state Supreme Court arguing that the court, not the legislature or voters, is the place to decide the constitutionality of same-sex marriage.

“We are proud of Iowa’s long history in ensuring fairness and equality for all Iowans,” said former Lt. Govs. Joy Corning (R) and Sally Pederson (D) in a joint statement at the time.

“As former elected officials, we have a deep respect for the role of the Iowa Supreme Court and the judicial process. We signed our names to a brief submitted to the Court because we believe that the Court is the proper place to decide this matter. We have a keen understanding of the different roles the courts and legislature play in leading our state and treating all Iowans with fairness.”

The high court has not indicated when it will hear the case.


*365Gay.com

GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN


Between birth and 22, a woman is like Africa, half discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with fertile soil.

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like America, well developed and open to trade, especially for someone with cash.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like India, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like France, gently aging; but still warm and a desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and all conquering past.

Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Yugoslavia, lost some wars, won some great battles but haunted by past mistakes, still very strong and proud.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Russia, very wide and borders are now largely un-patrolled.

After 70, she becomes Tibet .... Off the beaten path, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages ...still desirable but only those with an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge and true love dare visit there.

GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN

Between 1 and 78, a man is like Iran , ruled by a dick.


*Thanks, Karen

1851 vs 2008 Robbery



Only the guns are different....

*Thanks, Karen

MEN never satisfied !!!!!!!!!


A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.

Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table.

She said, 'For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.'

The wife answered, 'Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband.'

The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.

The husband thought for a moment: 'Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again.

'I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.'

The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish.

So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!..the husband became 92 years old.

The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful bastards should remember fairies are female.....


*Thanks, Karen

THX Lemur



*Thanks, Daryn

Monday, September 01, 2008

Karma - Instructions For Life

My karma ran over your dogma!

My karma ran over your dogma!
Cut an onion in half rub it on the sole of your feet. An hour later you will taste onion in your mouth. (And your feet will stink!)

Crazy paving isn't all it's cracked up to be.

A .44 magnum beats 4 aces

I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions.

The grave of Karl Marx is just another Communist plot.

Earth rotation is caused by penguins running around the south pole.

Saskatchewan Army Hires Crack New Assault Team!


Saskatchewan Army Hires Crack New Assault Team!

Happy September!


September

A Beautiful day in September - Een mooie dag in September - Steffie Macro Photography

We sit late, watching the dark slowly unfold:
No clock counts this.
When kisses are repeated and the arms hold
There is no telling where time is.

It is midsummer: the leaves hang big and still:
Behind the eye a star,
Under the silk of the wrist a sea, tell
Time is nowhere.

We stand; leaves have not timed the summer.
No clock now needs
Tell we have only what we remember:
Minutes uproaring with our heads

Like an unfortunate King's and his Queen's
When the senseless mob rules;
And quietly the trees casting their crowns
Into the pools.


Ted Hughes
(1930 - 1998)
*Photo credit: "A Beautiful day in September" - "Een mooie dag in September" Steffie Macro Photography

Saskatchewan


Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the Archangel found Him, resting on the seventh day.

He inquired of God, 'Where have You been?'

God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, 'Look Michael, look what I've made!'

Archangel Michael looked puzzled and asked, 'What is it?'

'It's a planet,' replied God, and I've put life on it.

I'm going to call it Earth, and it's going to be a place of great balance.

'Balance?' inquired Michael, still confused.

God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, 'For example, Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while Southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hotspot.

And over there I've placed a continent of white people, while over here is a continent of black people,' God continued, pointing to different countries. 'This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice.'

The Archangel , impressed by God's work, then pointed to a large land mass and said, 'What's that one?'

'Ah,' said God. 'That's Saskatchewan, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful lakes, rivers, skies, sunsets and rolling hills. The people from Saskatchewan are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous, and they are going to be found traveling the world.

They will be extremely sociable, hardworking and high achieving, and they will be known to throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace.'

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, 'What about balance, God? You said there would be balance!'

God replied wisely, 'Wait until you see the dingbats I'm putting around them in Alberta, Manitoba & the U.S.


Saskatchewan - The Center of North America


*Thanks, Marion