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Saturday, August 19, 2006

Masonic Symbolism and 'The DaVinci Code'

Since the successful book The DaVinci Code by Dan Brown and the blockbuster movie of the same name there has been more interest in "secret societies" such as Freemasonry. I will try to shed what 'light' I can on a basic level of what Freemasonry is, what Freemasons do and why.

First of all, I will tell you that I am a 3rd Degree Mason. I was looking for something more in life and I found that Freemasonry held the promise of a 'richer' life. And lo and behold! I became a Mason. I found (and still do!) it fascinating learning all about Freemasonry and was suprised at how much I had to learn to get through the degrees. To be clear... whilst Freemasonry has it's roots in 'operative masonry' (ie: The builders of King Soloman's Temple were operative masons, in that they worked with stones. They also had 3 degrees of masons, the entered apprentice, whose job was to learn the basics about building and to take large rocks and make them in to rough stones. These were then worked on by the fellocraft masons who were also called 'huewers' as they made the stones into rough ashlers. Then the master masons would take the stones, and applying the secrets of their craft, make the rough ashlers into perfect ashlers. The lower degree masons did not know the secrets that their higher ranking 'guild brothers' (akin to a union of sorts), only what they needed until they proved that they could do the work perfectly.

Freemasonry, operates under the apron of 'Speculative Masonry', since we do not actually work with rocks, eh? We pass through the various degrees learning gradually, the secterts as we make a symbolic journey from Entered Apprentice to Fellocraft to Master Mason. Each degree has more responsability and gets progressively difficult. An interesting note about handshakes and 'secret words'.. I will not tell them to you, (though they are available courtesy of Google), was origionally a way for masons to find out what degree the mason was... and they had to prove that they were of the rank to which they were trying to get access to. The secrets of each degree were held most dear as they were literally the key to their livelihoods. In Freemasonry, the same can be said, but instead of the knowledge of building and forming stones, the secrets deal with bringing a mason to the light, as in knowledge. Today, Masons use the same words and handshakes as well as 'regailia' (Aprons, just as the operative masons wore to protect their clothing!

I started as an "Entered Apprentice" and then was passed to the degree of a Fellowcraft and finally 'raised' to the sublime degree of a Master Mason. I learned much about what makes good men better and I still hold Masonic values very close to my heart.

Its main motto is "Liberty, Equality, Fraternity"

Some Masons define it as "a beautiful system of morality veiled in allegory and illustrated by symbols"... also as "the realization of God by the practice of Brotherhood": To reach God by doing good works to your neighbor...

It has been described as "the biggest, richest, most secret and most powerful private force in the world"... and certainly, "the most deceptive", both for the general public, and for the first 3 degrees of "initiates": Entered Apprentice, Fellow Craft, and Master Mason (the basic "Blue Lodge")...

These Initiates are purposely deceived!, in believing they know every thing, while they don't know anything about the true Masonry... in the words of Albert Pike, whose book "Morals and Dogma" is the standard monitor of Masonry, and copies are often presented to the members, "the first three degrees are but the outer court of the Temple. Part of the symbols are displayed there to the Initiate, but he is intentionally mislead by false interpretations. It is not intended that he shall understand them; but it is intended that he shall imagine he understand them... it is well enough for the mass of those called Masons to imagine that all is contained in the Blue Degrees" ("Morals and Dogma", p.819).

Masonry: (form the french "mason", "stone masons"), started in the 13th century as a "Union of Workers" of the cathedral builders to help each other; it was the "working" or "operative masonry", meeting in "lodges".

Freemasonry: With the decline of cathedral building, some lodges of operative masons begun to accept honorary members to bolster their declining membership... and from here, "Freemasonry" was born, not to build "cathedrals", but to build "cathedrals of men", and "the cathedral of the whole world"... it is the "speculative masonry", adopting the rites and trappings of ancient religions, orders, sects, the occult, and chivalric brotherhoods.


MASONIC SYMBOLS:



- Compass and square forming the triangle of God, with the letter "G" in the center, or the "eye" of God... or on top of an open Bible.
- They are the 3 indispensable jewels of a Lodge, representing "equality, liberty, and fraternity".
- The "compass" is the male element, represents solidarity, by making a circle; the "square", the female element, represents righteousness. Remember balance from the book The DaVinci Code? well there it is in Freemasonry!

Below you will find the explanations for the various ideas and items used in Masonry, or "The Craft" - (NOT WITCHCRAFT!!!), as we refer to it. The letter "G" by the way, stands for "Geometry" and "GOD" as you will see below... but again, dating back to the building of Soloman's Temple, it means much more than that:

The Square and Compass

Blue Lodge Masons (I am one) are taught that the Square is to remind them that they must be "square" in their dealings with all men, i.e., to be honest. The Compass, they are taught, is to teach them to "circumscribe their passions," i.e. to control their desires and to be temperate. The real meaning of these "great lights," however, is sexual. The Square represents the female (passive) generative principle, the earth, and the baser, sensual nature; and the Compass represents the male (active) generative principle, the sun/heavens, and the higher, spiritual nature. The Compass, arranged above the Square, symbolizes the (male) Sun, impregnating the passive (female) Earth with its life-producing rays. The true meanings, then are two-fold: the earthly (human) representations are of the man and his phallus, and the woman with her receptive cteis (vagina). The cosmic meaning is that of the active Sun (deity, the Sun-god) from above, imparting life into the passive Earth, (deity, the earth/fertility goddess) below and producing new life


Square, Compass and Bible on the Altar with a degree Mason kneeling in front


The Letter "G"

The Blue Lodge Mason is taught that the "G" in the Masonic symbol represents God. Later on, he is told that it also represents "deity." Later still, he is told that it represents "geometry." In reality, this letter represents the "generative principle," the Sun-god and, thus, the worshipped phallus, the male "generative principle…" In its position (along with the Square and Compass) on the east wall over the chair (throne) of the Worshipful Master, it is the representation of the Sun, thus of the Sun-god, Osiris. Its earthly meaning, then, is of the sacred phallus; its cosmic meaning is of the Sun, worshipped since antiquity by pagans while facing the East.

The "G" and the "YOD"

The English letter "G" in Masonic symbolism is inseparable from, and identical with, the Hebrew letter "YOD." This "YOD" is the symbol on the Scottish Rite ring. "YOD" represents deity in general (its cosmic meaning), and the worshipped phallus in particular (its earthly meaning). Albert Pike wrote that the "G" displayed in English speaking lodges is merely a corruption of the "YOD" (with which it should be replaced), and that "the mysterious YOD of the Kabala" is the "image of the Kabalistic Phallus." The "Kabalah" he refers to here is a medieval book of the occult, a highly mystical and magical interpretation of the Bible, and important sourcebook for sorcerers and magicians.

The Point Within a Circle

The Masons of the Blue Lodge are taught that the Point within a Circle represents the individual Mason (the Point), contained and restricted by the boundary line of his duty (the Circle). Its real meaning, however, is that of the phallus, positioned within the female generative principle (sex organ), the climactic act of Sun-god worship.

Dr. Albert Mackey, already quoted herein, also writes in his classic work "Symbolism of Freemasonry," page 352, "Phallus, a representation of the virile member which was venerated as a religious symbol… It was one of the modifications of sun worship, and was a symbol of the fecundating power of that luminary. The Masonic point within a circle is undoubtedly of phallic origin."

The Vertical Lines

The two vertical lines touching the sides of the circle are represented to the Blue Lodge Mason as "the Holy Saints John." By this is meant John the Baptist and John the Apostle. In reality, the two vertical lines represent the Summer and Winter Solstices, the shortest and longest nights of the year, respectively. These nights are, and have been since antiquity, important periods for pagan worship.

Concerning these two lines, Albert Mackey has written ("Symbolism of Freemasonry," page 352), "The lines touching the circle in the symbol of the point within a circle are said to represent St. John the Baptist and St. John the Evangelist, but they really refer to the solstitial points, Cancer and Capricorn, in the Zodiac."

The Bible

The Bible, only one of the "Three Great Lights" of Masonry (along with the Square and Compass), is represented to Blue Lodge Masons as symbolizing truth. In reality, the Bible may be replaced with the Koran, the Book of the Law, The Hindu scriptures or any other "holy book," depending on the preferences of the men in the Lodge. In most American Lodges, the members are told that all the Masonic system and its rituals are "based on the Bible." Such, however is not the case. In Chase's "Digest of Masonic Law," pages 207-209, it is clearly written that "Masonry has nothing whatever to do with the Bible," and that "it is not founded upon the Bible, for if it were it would not be Masonry, it would be something else."

Albert Pike, in writing on the subject of Masonry's source-book said, "Masonry is a search after light. That search leads us directly back, as you see, to the Kabalah." (Morals and Dogma, page 741). The Kabalah, then, seems to be the actual sourcebook of Masonry and the Bible merely (as it is spoken of in the ritual) a piece of the "furniture" of the Lodge.

NOTE: For more information concerning Masonic symbols and their true meanings, see McQuaig, C.F., "The Masonic Report," Answer Books and Tapes, Norcross, GA, 1976; Storms, E.M., "Should a Christian Be a Mason?," New Puritan Library, Fletcher NC 1980; and Mackey, Albert G., "Symbolism of Freemasonry," Charles T. Powner Co., Chicago 1975.

By the way....Freemasonry is made up uf several 'concordant bodies', most you have heard of but did not know they are part of Masonry:

York Rite
Royal Arch Masons
Mark Master
Virtual Past Master
Most Excellent Master
Supreme Order of the Holy Royal Arch
Council of Royal and Select Masters (Cryptic Rite)
Royal Master
Select Master
Super Excellent Master
Royal Ark Mariner
Preceptory of Knights Templar
Illustrious Order of the Red Cross
Order of Saint Paul
Order of Saint John or Malta
Order of the Knights Templar

Scottish Rite Lodge of Perfection

4° Secret Master

5° Perfect Master

6° Confidential [Intimate] Secretary

7° Provost and Judge

8° Intendent of the Building

9° Elu, or Elected Knight, of the Nine

10° Illustrious Elect or Elu of the Fifteen

11° Sublime Knight Elect, or Elu, of the Twelve

12° [Grand] Master Architect

13° Knight of the Ninth Arch, or Royal Arch of Solomon

14° Grand Elect, Perfect and Sublime Mason, or Perfect Elu

Chapter of Rose Croix

15° Knight of the Sword [of the East]

16° Prince of Jerusalem

17° Knight of the East and West

18° Knight [Prince] Rose Croix


Illustrated thusly:


Click Above for a bigger picture. Complicated, eh?


Appendant Bodies

Women’s Orders
Amaranth
Order of the Eastern Star
Daughters of the Nile
White Shrine

Youth Orders
De Molay
Job’s Daughters
Rainbow Girls


Also interesting..



Shriners (also know as Ancient Arabic Order, Nobles of the Mystic Shrine or "AAONMS")... are part of Freemasonry and sometimes referred to as, 'The playground of the Masons'... All Shriners are Masons, but not all Masons are Shriners!




That's enough for now...

Finally an 'Easy Button' that does something worthwhile!


Easy Button

Click Above. You'll thank me for it!

Elderley Sex

Ma and Pa, both 91, lived in a retirement community.

 
They met in the social centre and discovered over time that they enjoyed each other's company.

After several weeks of meeting for coffee, Pa asked Ma out for dinner and, much to his delight, she accepted.

They had a lovely evening. They dined at the most romantic restaurant in town. And despite his age, Pa was still a charmer.

Afterward, Pa asked Ma to join him at his place for an after-dinner drink. Things continued along a natural course and age being no inhibitor, Ma soon joined Pa for a most enjoyable roll in the hay.

As they were basking in the glow of the magic moments they'd shared, each was lost for a time in their own thoughts.

Pa was thinking: "If I'd known she was a virgin, I'd have been more gentle."

Ma was thinking: "If I'd known he could still do it, I'd have taken off my pantyhose."


TRUE or FALSE?


True or False - You decide!


Rochambeau, the “rock, paper, scissors” game, originated in Egypt in 2000 B.C.



TRUE! The game, played by “throwing” hand signs, traveled to Greece and then on to the Romans, where they called it Micatio. It was used to settle disputes over merchandise transactions in the forums and was so common in ancient Rome that there was a proverb to describe an honest person: Dignus est quicum in tenebris mices, which means: “Trustworthy enough to play Micatio in the dark with him.”

RPC Official Rules

Rock, Paper, Scissors, sharing a moment

Friday, August 18, 2006

QUESTIONS FOR GOD......FROM THE DOG


Doggy


Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God: When we get to heaven,can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the Chrysler Beagle"?

Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths What do humans understand?

Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog:

1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

3. I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box, although they are tasty.

4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.

5. The sofa is not a 'face towel'. Neither are Mom and Dad's laps.

6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

8. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration.

9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello".

11. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.

12. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.

13. I will not throw up in the car.

14. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when we have company.

16. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.


And, finally, my last question...







Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?

*Thanks, Rimsky

Japan's "OCEANDOME"


Here's another nice piece of engineering and construction.

This time the locale is JAPAN. Here's the exterior shot of the building. Note the surrounding area . . mountains, sea shore, golf course, residential area.



Japan's Oceandome


What do you think is inside this building?



It's an "O C E A N D O M E"


Japan's Oceandome


Imagine a beach where the sky is always blue, it's never too hot or cold, the water isn't filled with salt and pollution, and the surf is always perfect - welcome to Ocean Dome, the world's only indoor beach.



Japan's Oceandome


Ocean Dome has its own flame-spitting volcano, crushed white marble "sand", and it also boasts the world's largest retractable roof, providing a permanently blue sky. Temperature, wind and humidity are closely controlled to provide an ultra-safe "sea-side" experience. Every hour, the volcano erupts and the hi-tech wave machines start up, starting a few minutes of sanitized surfing. Entrance cost is US $50 per person, which seems especially expensive given that there is a free, natural beach only 300 meters away.



Japan's Oceandome


The roof is retractable . . so the SURF'S UP . rain or shine!



Japan's Oceandome


Japan's Oceandome


Japan's Oceandome


When the roof is closed, you still get blue sky and puffy white clouds.


*Thanks, Auntie 'M'

Couple o' grins

"A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always count on the support of Paul."

Of course, Paul's support is obvious, but it is equally obvious that to rob from Peter to pay Paul will make Peter very, very angry.

My question is this: "How can you run a good government with a sore Peter?"

WOO! HOO!

An American traveling through Europe is riding a train in Germany. At one point, the ticket inspector comes into the compartment, punches the passengerís ticket, and then chats cordially in German for a bit, making gestures like a windmill. The man, who speaks no German, simply smiles and nods from time to time to show that he is interested.

Finally, the ticket inspector bows and leaves the compartment. At that point, a woman sitting across from the man leans forward and says in English, "You don't speak any German, do you?"

"No," the man says.

"Then that explains why you didn't bat an eye when he told you that you were on the wrong train, going in the wrong direction and that the next stop is an hour from now."

WOO! HOO!


*Thanks, SalTCBug

TRUE or FALSE?


Buster Keaton was the illegitimate son of Harry Houdini. 


 He was born Joseph Francis Keaton in 1895. Buster’s parents, Joe and Myra, were players in the Mohawk Indian Medicine Company, a traveling vaudeville revue that also boasted the talents of escape artist Harry Houdini. Buster’s showbiz debut came early when his mother and father, absorbed in their acrobatic comedy act, didn’t notice that their son had crawled onstage, much to the audience’s delight. Buster was quickly recruited into the act.

The only real surfer in the Beach Boys was Dennis Wilson. 


 Dennis, the second of the three Wilson brothers—Brian was the eldest, Carl the youngest—was the only one who actually surfed. The three brothers formed the Beach Boys in 1961, along with cousin Mike Love and pal Al Jardine.

If you are struck by lightning, your socks and shoes may help prevent injury. 


 If you’re struck by lightning, your shoes and socks will likely be knocked off. Rapid heating, evaporation, and expansion of sweat on your skin literally blows your clothes off. If this happens, the current does not enter the body and should not cause injury.

By law, the U.S. Gold Bullion Depository at Fort Knox, Kentucky, may contain only gold. 


 Fort Knox has stored our own Declaration of Independence, the U.S. Constitution, the Articles of Confederation, Lincoln’s Gettysburg address, and three volumes of the Gutenberg Bible. Valuable items for other governments have also been stored there, including the Magna Carta, not to mention the crown, sword, scepter, orb, and cape of St. Stephen, king of Hungary.

Chief Sitting Bull died in “Custer’s Last Stand” at the Battle of Little Big Horn. 


 Sitting Bull did not participate in the massacre—though he was blamed for it. The leader of the Lakota Sioux had a vision in 1876 that spurred 3,500 Cheyenne and Sioux to attack General Custer at Little Big Horn. Sitting Bull was hunted down, captured, and confined to Fort Buford.

Certain U.S. coins are minted with ridges on their edges for a better grip. 


 Called “reeding,” the ridges on the U.S. dollar, half-dollar, quarter, and dime were placed there because these coins were once made of precious metal. The reeded edges discouraged counterfeiting and fraudulent use, such as filing off the edges to recover the silver. Now, most coins are made of far less expensive nickel-clad copper. Nickels and pennies, which have smooth edges, have never contained precious metal and therefore weren’t reeded.

The actor who portrayed the “Marlboro Man” for the world’s best-selling cigarette died of lung cancer. 


 Actually, many models and cowboys were used in television and print ads for the Phillip Morris tobacco company, but two of them, Wayne McLaren and David McLean, died of cancers that began in their lungs. McLaren appeared in an anti-smoking ad near the end of his life in 1992, while McLean’s widow filed a wrongful death suit against Phillip Morris, Inc. a year after her husband’s death in 1996, claiming the company’s cigarettes were the cause of his cancers. A judgment in the suit is still pending.

Lebanon is the only country in the Middle East that does not have a desert. 


 Once part of the Fertile Crescent, which was home to the Phoenicians, Lebanon is essentially a valley set between two mountain ranges. The mountains are rough and rocky, but Lebanon is generally considered a “green” country—an astonishing anomaly compared to the rest of the Arab Middle East, which is 90% desert.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

'City Slickers' Actor Bruno Kirby Dies

Bruno Kirby

 LOS ANGELES - Bruno Kirby, a versatile character actor with a flair for comedy who was best known for his roles in "When Harry Met Sally … " "City Slickers" and "Good Morning, Vietnam," has died. He was 57.

Kirby died Monday in a Los Angeles hospital from complications of recently diagnosed leukemia, said family spokesman Bill Harrison.




Sunday, August 13, 2006

Mike Douglas, Former TV Show Host, Dies

Mike Douglas WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. (AP) - Mike Douglas, whose affable personality and singing talent earned him 21 years as a television talk show host, died Friday on his 81st birthday. He died at 5:30 a.m. in a Palm Beach Gardens hospital, said his wife, Genevieve Douglas. She wasn't sure of the cause, but said he had been admitted Thursday. Douglas became dehydrated on the golf course a few weeks ago and had been treated on and off since. 

Friday, August 11, 2006

Interesting Lyrics


If you’ve got a heartache
Of the kind that will not pass by
Even if you don’t see the end
Of what lies around the bend
Don’t stay that way
It’s all in a day believe me
Even the best of friends must part
Even so it grieves me
Stay loose, don’t fight it
Let it take you all the way and
If it’s wrong, you will right it
Do not waste these hours away

How many times have I told you
There’s are the tears I’ve shed
Could it be that I need help
Is it maybe I’ve come undone
And one thing more
You know it don’t come easy
Even the best of friends must part
Even so it grieves me

Stay loose, don’t fight it
Let love take a holiday
If it’s wrong, you’re gonna right it
Do not waste these hours away

Soon the storm will be over
And the clouds will all pass by
To be insane beyond belief
Is sometimes the best relief
And one thing sure
Love never did come easy
Even the best of dreams must end
Even so it grieves me

Stay loose, don’t fight it
Let it take you all the way and
If it’s wrong, you will right it
Do not waste these hours away

Stay loose, don’t fight it
Let love take a holiday
If it’s wrong, you’re gonna right it
Do not waste these hours away


"Stay Loose" - Gordon Lightfoot


A long time ago, when the Earth was green
There was more kinds of animals than you've ever seen
They'd run around free while the Earth was being born
And the loveliest of all was the unicorn

There was green alligators and long-necked geese
Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees
Some cats and rats and elephants, but sure as you're born
The loveliest of all was the unicorn

The Lord seen some sinning and it gave Him pain
And He says, "Stand back, I'm going to make it rain"
He says, "Hey Noah, I'll tell you what to do
Build me a floating zoo,
and take some of those...

Green alligators and long-necked geese
Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees
Some cats and rats and elephants, but sure as you're born
Don't you forget My unicorns

Old Noah was there to answer the call
He finished up making the ark just as the rain started to fall
He marched the animals two by two
And he called out as they came through
Hey Lord,

I've got green alligators and long-necked geese
Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees
Some cats and rats and elephants, but Lord, I'm so forlorn
I just can't find no unicorns"

And Noah looked out through the driving rain
Them unicorns were hiding, playing silly games
Kicking and splashing while the rain was falling
Oh, them silly unicorns

There was green alligators and long-necked geese
Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees
Noah cried, "Close the door because the rain is falling
And we just can't wait for no unicorns"

The ark started moving, it drifted with the tide
The unicorns looked up from the rocks and they cried
And the waters came down and sort of floated them away
That's why you never see unicorns to this very day

You'll see green alligators and long-necked geese
Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees
Some cats and rats and elephants, but sure as you're born
You're never gonna see no unicorns

[New Lyrics]
Now you might think this is the ending to the song,
But I'll have to tell you friends that in fact you're wrong
You see, Unicorns are magical, so when the rain started pouring,
They grew themselves some wings and they took to soaring.

You'll see green alligators and long-necked geese
Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees
But if you're looking for the unicorns, don't be forlorn,
The second star to the right and straight on until morning.


Lyrics by Shel ilverstein, new verse Andrew McKee

Now, the first song just makes you think... but that "SILLY" Unicorn song, I think has a moral....


What if... When Noah was looking for the Unicorns, (acting on GOD's behalf, and he couldn't find them and that they couldn't hear Noah's call as they were 'playing silly games'...?

Could that not be interpreted into us, that is man kind (or woman -kind!), can miss important things in life if we fail to listen for what GOD has to say? After all... Since the Unicorn's were mucking about, they ended up missing the boat so it seems..(I bet that is where the saying comes from...)?


Gay Unicorns
...or maybe it was another example of homosexuals being denied their rights? After all.. gotta admit that those Unicorns had a flair for dressing up! :-) (Just a joke - you religious ones!)


From a blog I can't remember .... While reading the KJV, I had come across "unicorn(s)" (Num. 23:22; 24:8; Deut. 33:17; Job 39:9,10; Psa. 22:21; 29:6; 92:10; Isa. 34:7) and knew they were fictitious animals and it momentarily cast a shred of doubt over me about the inspiration of the Bible! Thank God this did not stop me from continuing in the Scriptures!


The bottom line in all of this is that one must be able to understand the Word of God. In regard to this, there are at least 827 words and phrases in the days of King James that have changed their meaning or are no longer used in our modern, everyday English language, i.e., suffer, filthy lucre, quick, lunatick, wax, charity, gay clothing, etc.! This is just a partial listing.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

From The Emerald City


The Emerald City



The Wizard is going to confer, converse, and otherwise hob-nob with my brother wizards...

I should be back posting in a couple of weeks! Mewanwhile, Check the archives. I bet there is a lot that you haven't read yet....

Yours,

--The Wizard


Cliff Notes


Cliff Clavin
"Everyone is the Swiss Army owns a Swiss Army Knife. That's why no one messes with Switzerland."

"It's a little known fact that cows were domesticated in Mesopotamia and were also used in China as guard animals for the forbidden city."

"It's a little known fact that smartest animal is a pig. Scientists say if pigs had thumbs and a language, they could be trained to do simple manual labor. They give you 20-30 years of loyal service and then at their retirement dinner you can eat them."

"I wonder if you know that the harp is a predecessor of the modern day guitar. Early minstrels were much larger people. In fact, they had hands the size of small dogs."

"If memory serves, the umbilical chord is 90% postassium."

"It's a little known fact that the tan became popular in what is known as the Bronze Age."

"If you were to go back in history and take every president, you'll find that the numerical value of each letter in their name was equally divisible into the year in which they were elected. By my calculations, our next president has to be named Yellnick McWawa."

"There's no rule against postal workers not dating women. It just works out that way."

"They did a study between postal workers and chimpanzees. They proved chimps were 32% slower. Of course, they were better with public relations."

Some things to make you think...

Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free to good home You want it, you take it".
For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal. It looked to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50". The next day someone stole it.

Caution! These people Vote

While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was North because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the North?" When my brother explained that the sun rises in the East, (and has for sometime), she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff"...

She ALSO votes!

I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific" ...

He ALSO votes!

My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a convertible, but "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving".

She ALSO votes!

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car It's designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk...

My sister ALSO votes!

My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount...

He ALSO votes!

I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?" I explained that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned...

My friend ALSO votes!

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"...

SHE ALSO votes!

To those who understand ~ No explanation is necessary
For those who don't understand ~ No explanation is possible

Arrests In San Diego Gay Pride Baseball Bat Attack

(San Diego, California) Two people have been arrested, one of them a minor, in connection with the weekend attacks on a group of men as they left San Diego's gay pride festival. James Carroll, 24, was booked on suspicion of two counts of attempted murder. The minor was arrested Tuesday afternoon. Police said they are members of a little known gang that calls themselves "Lowlifes". 

San Diego police Monday night served a search warrant at an apartment in Park West and took a group of suspects in for questioning. Apart from the two facing charges the others were released Tuesday Capt. Chris Ball told a Tuesday afternoon news conference that he is confident the remaining two suspects will be arrested. Ball also said that there was a sixth victim in the attack who did not need hospital treatment. 

One of the victims remains in hospital with a fractured skull. He may require reconstructive surgery. Another suffered superficial stab wounds. That man and the other three victims were treated and released from hospital. The men had just left Balboa Park when the assailants began taunting them with homophobic remarks. (See previous post) The attackers then began fighting with the men and at one point one of the assailants began swinging a baseball bat hitting one of victims in the back of the head. The other victims were also struck by the bat and one of them said he then felt what he described as something sharp stabbing him in the back possibly from a knife.

*365Gay.com

Trojan Piggybacks on Firefox


"If you build it... they will come...."

Security vendor McAfee Inc. has detected a new piece of malicious software that masquerades as part of the Firefox Internet browser. McAfee calls the Trojan horse "FormSpy." Trojan horses are programs, often attached to spam e-mail, that appear innocuous but are harmful to a computer. FormSpy is downloaded to a computer that is already infected with another Trojan horse called "Downloader-AXM," McAfee said. That Trojan was recently detected in e-mail spam messages. Downloader-AXM contacts servers to download other malicious programs to a computer without a user's knowledge, according to McAfee. Once downloaded, FormSpy installs itself as a Firefox extension. The program appears as "NumberedLinks 0.9" extension, McAfee said. The extension normally would allow a user to navigate links by numbers using the keyboard rather than a mouse. Then, FormSpy can transmit information in a Web browser to another Web site, which could include credit card numbers, passwords and electronic banking pin numbers, according to McAfee. FormSpy can also steal e-mail, ICQ instant messaging service and FTP (file transfer protocol) passwords, it said.

* Jeremy Kirk, ITWorld

Disney Trivia

GoofyAbout how many pairs of sunglasses are turned into lost and found at the Magic Kingdom theme Park every day? 


Goofy A daily average of 100 pairs of shades find their way to lost and found.


15,000 Canadians have AIDS but don't know it

OTTAWA (Canadian Press) -- More than 15,000 Canadians have HIV-AIDS but don't know it, says a new report by the Public Health Agency of Canada.

The study says about 58,000 people in Canada were living with AIDS last year, and 27 per cent were unaware of their infections, which means they could be unwittingly spreading the virus.

"If you don't know that you're sick, you have a much greater chance of infecting someone else," said Ian Culbert, director of the Canadian HIV/AIDS Information Centre, in an interview Monday.

Culbert said many of the undiagnosed are low-income people so preoccupied with day-to-day survival they don't bother to get tested. Others avoid being tested because they would rather not know they are infected.

Jennifer Geduld of the agency said the estimate of undiagnosed cases is based on computer modeling

The report found that aboriginal people have very high rates of HIV infection, a problem that is attributed to a range of problems including poverty, lack of awareness of the risks, and injection drug use.

"Aboriginal Canadians account for three per cent of the population and nine per cent of new infections," said Culbert. "You're three times more likely to be infected with HIV if you're an aboriginal person in this country and those are absolutely unacceptable rates."

Nina Arron of the Public Health Agency said the agency is working with aboriginal associations to combat the problem.

The report also shows that people from countries where HIV is endemic have an infection rate almost 13 times higher than average, but the agency claims they don't constitute a threat to public health.

Overall, the rate of new HIV infections in Canada continues to rise despite millions of dollars being spent on education and prevention. The number of new infections last year is estimated at 2,300 to 4,500, up from 2,100 to 4,000 in 2002.

The total number of people living with AIDS increased about 16 per cent from 2003 to 2005, due to new infections and the fact that victims are living longer due to better drug treatment.

Most at risk are homosexual men and injection drug users.

Frank Plummer, director general of infectious disease control at the Public Health Agency, insisted that prevention programs are working, but acknowledged more needs to be done.

"I think we're doing a lot of things right, otherwise the situation would quite likely be quite a lot worse."

There has been speculation that people may be neglecting safe-sex practices because they believe that AIDS is now curable. In fact, new drugs have greatly improved survival rates but the disease remains very serious and costly to treat.

The new data will be on the agenda at the International AIDS conference to take place in Toronto Aug. 13-18. 

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

3 Brazilian Soldiers

Donald Rumsfeld briefed the President this morning. He told Bush that three Brazilian soldiers were killed in Iraq. To everyone's amazement, all of the color ran from Bush's face, then he collapsed onto his desk, head in hands, visibly shaken, almost whimpering. Finally, he composed himself and asked Rumsfeld, "Just exactly how many is a brazillion?"

*Thanks, Andy

This OS Has Been Brought to You by the Letter "Rrrr"

Sixty million.

 "Rrrrrr!! Thar be pirates out thar!"

That's how many XP pirates the Windows Genuine Advantage tool turned up, according to a blog by Microsoftie Alex Kochis. He adds that Microsoft has received only "a handful" of verifiable false positives out of 300 million machines tested. Really? Only a handful on 300 milion? I think somebody's slipped something funny into the Redmond water supply again.


Seniors Can't Be All Bad


Seniors

Senior citizens are constantly being criticized for every conceivable deficiency of the modern world, real or imaginary. We know we take responsibility for all we have done and do not blame others.

HOWEVER, upon reflection, we would like to point out that it was NOT the senior citizens who took:

The melody out of music,
The pride out of appearance,
The courtesy out of driving,
The romance out of love,
The commitment out of marriage,
The responsibility out of parenthood,
The togetherness out of the family,
The learning out of education,
The service out of patriotism,
The Golden Rule from rulers,
The nativity scene out of cities,
The civility out of behavior,
The refinement out of language,
The dedication out of employment,
The prudence out of spending,
The ambition out of achievement, or,
God out of government and school.

And we certainly are NOT the ones who eliminated patience and tolerance from personal relationships and interactions with others!!

YES, I'M A SENIOR CITIZEN!

I'm the life of the party...... even if it lasts until 8 p.m.
I'm very good at opening childproof caps... with a hammer.
I'm usually interested in going home before I get to where I am going.
I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get up.
I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a thing you're saying.
I'm very good at telling stories; over and over and over and over...
I'm aware that other people's grandchildren are not nearly as cute as mine.
I'm so cared for -- long term care, eye care, private care, dental care.

I'm not really grouchy,

I just don't like traffic, waiting, crowds, lawyers, loud music, unruly kids, Jenny Craig and Toyota commercials, barking dogs, politicians and a few other things I can't seem to remember right now.

I'm sure everything I can't find is in a safe secure place, somewhere.
I'm wrinkled, saggy, lumpy, and that's just my left leg.
I'm having trouble remembering simple words like.......
I'm beginning to realize that aging is not for wimps.
I'm sure they are making adults much younger these days, and when did they let kids become policemen?
I'm wondering, if you're only as old as you feel, how could I be alive at 150?
And, how can my kids be older than I feel sometimes?

I'm a walking storeroom of facts..... I've just lost the key to the storeroom door.

Yes, I'm a SENIOR CITIZEN and I think I am having the time of my life!

Now if I could only remember who sent this to me....


*Thanks, Ken... (I think....)

Biological versus nonbiological older brothers and men’s sexual orientation

Gay Brothers The most consistent biodemographic correlate of sexual orientation in men is the number of older brothers (fraternal birth order). The mechanism underlying this effect remains unknown.


In this article, I provide a direct test pitting prenatal against postnatal (e.g., social/rearing) mechanisms. Four samples of homosexual and heterosexual men (total n = 944), including one sample of men raised in nonbiological and blended families (e.g., raised with half- or step-siblings or as adoptees) were studied.

Only biological older brothers, and not any other sibling characteristic, including nonbiological older brothers, predicted men’s sexual orientation, regardless of the amount of time reared with these siblings. These results strongly suggest a prenatal origin to the fraternal birth-order effect.

Click here

My Bad Boss Contest

WorkingAmerica.org is seeking entries for its "My Bad Boss" contest and is having no trouble finding worthy candidates. This summer, one winner will be crowned from among five semifinalists. Here are the first two: 

Millionaire Dentist Stole from Employees on 9/11 By Cat Scratch Never mind that the dentist I worked for was the cheapest bastard in the world (trying to get out of paying me for a mandatory meeting by arguing that he paid for lunch), and that he was unethical (prescribing painkillers to addicted patients in exchange for pricy dental procedures they didn't need). Never mind all that. Dr. X proved himself to be the worst kind of person imaginable during the week of 9/11. That day, the patients all canceled their appointments. Perfectly understandable, if you ask me: There's a national tragedy, and the last thing on anyone's mind is their oral health. But this meant no income for Dr. X. His response? Taking $100 out of every employee's paycheck. Mind you, we were paid hourly, not based on production. In the wake of a travesty that should bring out the best in people, he had the audacity to steal money from his own employees. Not that it was even necessary. Dr. X earned over a million dollars a year. He owned a mansion. Did he really need my $13/hour that badly? Apparently so. I promptly quit. Lucky for me, a better job was around the corner. As for Dr. X--his karma will catch up with him. 

People Commit Suicide Every Day By Wounded Healer, Michigan "He paints by the number," was the excuse I was given when I wanted to okay a psychiatric hospital stay for a patient who was out of state. My patient was a veteran suffering from trauma triggered by watching news coverage of the war in Iraq. He had been taken to emergency and when they called for authorization, my boss said they cost too much. I tried to get the hospital to bring the price down. So, they discharged my patient after making him put $5,000 on his credit card. I tried to get the money back for him and get my boss to okay paying the hospital. It went back and forth for too long. The patient committed suicide. He shot himself in the head. I couldn't quit crying when I heard and took the rest of the day off. I used my personal time to do it. My boss complained to my supervisor. He said, "I don't know why she had to take the day off. People commit suicide everyday." I no longer work there. I'm in therapy now.

Crystal Meth

Dealing with Teenage Methamphetamine Use

Identifying and dealing with teenage drug use is a frightening prospect for any parent. But we live in a world where teens have so many opportunities for losing their way. They have the time and money for vices and less supervision at home. And drugs today are even more powerful and addictive than ever.
Methamphetamine (known on the street as "speed," "meth," "crank," "crystal-meth") is a central nervous system stimulant that is among the most dangerous drugs available. Like cocaine, it is a powerful "upper" that produces alertness and feelings of elation, along with a variety of adverse reactions. Methamphetamine is sometimes called the "poor man’s cocaine," because it costs nearly the same as cocaine with much longer lasting effects.
Methamphetamine can be swallowed, smoked, snorted, or injected. Under the influence of the drug, users often become agitated and "wired." Their behaviour becomes unpredictable: friendly and calm one moment, angry and terrified the next. Once users become too tired to continue using or run out of meth, they will begin to "crash." Initially, the crash is marked by agitated depression, which soon gives way to lethargy, followed by a long deep sleep. Once the user awakens, the depression returns and may last for days. This is the time when the potential for suicide is high.




With prolonged high-dose use or long binges, stimulant psychosis may develop. User may feel intensely paranoid, hear voices, and experience bizarre delusions (such as thinking that people are talking about and/or following them). Methamphetamine-induced panic and psychosis can be extremely dangerous and may result in incidents of extreme violence.

Dangers and consequences of meth use include:
  • sleeplessness
  • nausea, vomiting, diarrhea
  • skin ulceration and infection, the result of picking at imaginary bugs
  • paranoia, anxiety, irritability
  • depression
  • increased blood pressure due to the constriction of blood vessels (may produce headaches, chest pain, or irregular heartbeat and lead to stroke or heart attack)
  • seizures
  • permanent brain cell damage
  • for intravenous (IV) users: AIDS, hepatitis, infections and sores at the injection site, and infection of the heart lining and valves (endocarditis)

If you are a parent concerned that your teenager may be using meth, there are symptoms you should look for. You may notice a striking degeneration of your child's attitude, school attendance and marks, dress, personal hygiene, complexion and skin condition, along with increased mood swings, weight loss, and irregular sleeping patterns such as long waking and sleeping periods (days). A change of friends, secrecy, missing monies and valuables, dropping out of extra curriculum activities, and verbal aggression and/or the threat of physical aggression are also warning signs. If you suspect your child of drug use, contact a professional or counselor to help guide you through the process of acknowledging, confronting, and dealing with this problem. Professionals, non-profits, and faith-based organizations are available throughout Saskatchewan to help you and your family through this difficult time. Teen Challenge Saskatchewan Phone: 306-664-4673

Click above for more info

Good Rebuttle!

A Saskatchewan farmer had bought 14 pieces of farm eqipment, the last being a new pickup, from his golfing buddy over the past 10 years. One day the friend called him to say that he had just purchased an acreage south of town, and wanted a nice looking cow to put in the small pasture that came with the property saying, "My wife thinks it would look pretty".


Animated Cow


Two days later the farmer delivered the animal along with the following bill of sale:

Basic Cow 499.95
Shipping and handling 35.95
Two tone
exterior 142.95
Produce storage compartment 126.95
Heavy duty straw chopper 189.95
Four spigot/high output drain system 149.95
Automatic fly swatter 88.95
Genuine cowhide upholstery 179.95
Deluxe dual horns 59.95
Automatic fertilizer attachment 339.95
4 x 4 traction drive assembly 884.95
Pre delivery wash and comb 69.95

Sub-
total
2,768.70

Shop supplies and materials (1%) 27.69

PST and
GST 391.49

FARMERS SUGGESTED LIST PRICE: 3,187.88
Additional dealer adjustments: 300.00
TOTAL (Including options): 3487.88

PREFERRED CUSTOMER DISCOUNT - 50.00

SALE PRICE $3,437.88