Quote of the day

 

“We cannot let Putin steal our Christmas.”

-- Mayor Klitschko (Kyiv)

R.I.P. Christine McVie (1943 - 2022)

Christine McVie, the singer-songwriter behind some of Fleetwood Mac’s biggest hits, died Wednesday following a brief illness, according to a statement posted by her family on her verified Instagram account.

She was 79.

“On behalf of Christine McVie’s family, it is with a heavy heart we are informing you of Christine’s death. She passed away peacefully at hospital this morning, Wednesday, November 30th 2022, following a short illness,” the statement reads. “She was in the company of her family.”

Illusions

 

Spot The Difference!

 

Wonder Woman has really let herself go...

 

Ask The Wizard (Backing up data)

Dear Wizard of 'OZ',

I was wondering if there was an easy way to back up my letters, pictures and such. It is always on my mind that I am going to lose them.

Signed,

Worrid about everything

Dear Worried,

You are right to be worried... in this day and age with more and more saved in digital format and more and more viruses etc a good back-up plan is a necessity!

Backing up your computer data can seem like a chore, but imagine what it will be like if all your data is gone and you have to start all over again. There are many ways of backing up your data and just as many types of media to use as well. This covers the basic steps needed to backup your data easily and quickly.

1. Organize Your Files

Keeping your information organized should be one of your first priorities. This will make things much easier when the time comes to back up. Because the "My Documents" folder is the default location for many programs to store their files, it is also the most logical location to store your files. Make sub-folders in your documents folder to keep your data organized. Windows XP has already set up some for your use. It includes sub-folders such as "My Music," "My eBooks" and "My Pictures." Add sub-folders as you need them.

One of the most important sub-folders to use is a "My Downloads" folder. This is where you should store and categorize all of your Internet downloads. If you ever need to reinstall a downloaded program, you will be glad you have this folder.
Remember, some programs do not save data to "My Documents." In this case, you should locate and note for backup the folders that these programs do use. In some cases, you may need to copy that information to your "My Documents" folder.

2. What do I Backup?

Just about anything your media will allow you to store. This means you can make copies of all your personal data, such as documents, image and media files, email, financial data, saved games, and anything else that may be important. Try to avoid having to back up the entire operating system unless you have the media that will support this type of backup.

3. Types of Backup Media

There are many types of backup media. You can use tape drives, CD-R and CD-RW drives, DVD-ROM drives or hard drives. You can also use older types of media like Iomega's Zip or Jazz drives. These are all available in both internal and external versions. Be sure to choose the right one based on how much information you would like to save.
Tip: Tape drives, hard drives as well as Zip and Jazz drives sore data magnetically. This type of storage will degrade with time and is subject to outside magnetic influences. CD-R/RW and DVD-ROM drives store data using a laser imprint on the CD/DVD media. This is far less likely to degrade over time and, as long as the disc's are not damaged, will last for many years.

4. Types of Backup Methods

There are two main types of backup methods. You can do an "incremental backup." This is where you back up specifically selected folders and data. Windows includes a fairly decent back up program or you may choose to use the program that comes with you backup hardware.

You can also do a full-system or complete backup. This is where an "image" of your entire hard drive is made. There are different types of programs to image your entire hard drive such as PowerQuest's Drive Image, Norton's Ghost or Dantz's Retrospect. Due to the shear volume of data this type of backup is usually only successful if you have a second hard drive or tape drive.

5. Where Are My Data Files Kept?

Your data files are kept in many places but here are a few locations to look for your information.

Email: Locations may vary. In Windows XP Microsoft Outlook Express saves its files to

'C:\Documents and Settings\(user name)\Local Settings\Application Data\Identities\{indentity number}\Microsoft\Outlook Express'

in files with an extension of .dbx.

Outlook saves its files to

'C:\Documents and Settings\(user name)\Local Settings\Application Data\Microsoft\Outlook\outlook.pst'.

Netscape saves your files in 'C:\Program Files\Netscape\Users\(user name)\Mail'.

Your Internet Favorites or Bookmarks: Internet Explorer stores your Favorites as individual files in the

C:\Windows\Favorites or C:\Documents and Settings\(User Name)\Favorites directory.

Netscape saves your Bookmarks in

'C:\Program Files\Netscape\Users\(user name)\bookmark.htm'.

Other programs: You may need to do some research on where files are saved. One good way to do this is to open up the program in question, create a temporary file and when you save the file do a 'Save as', this will prompt you to where the default location of where the program saves its files.

6.How Often Should I Perform a Backup?

In general, it is best to schedule your backup on a consistent and regular basis. How much information you add or change to your system will help you determine if this should be on a monthly, weekly or even a daily schedule. Most backup software programs allow for automatic scheduling.


Hope this helps.

Yrs,

The Wizard

Good Point!!!

Happiness keeps You Sweet, Trials keep You Strong, Sorrows keep You Human, Failures keep You Humble, Success keeps You Glowing, But Only God keeps You Going! You are so special!

Balance

God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day.

He inquired of God. "Where have you been?"

God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction, and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."

Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is it?"

"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put Life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."

"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.

God explained, pointing to different parts of earth. "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor. Over there I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things," God continued pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land area and said, "What's that one?"

"Ah," said God "That's Washington State, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful mountains, rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills, plains, and coulees. The people from Washington State are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to be found traveling the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats, and carriers of peace."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then proclaimed, "What about balance, God? You said there would be balance."

God smiled, "There is another Washington...wait until you see the idiots I put there."

HOW TO GET RID OF TELEMARKETEERS

 

1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.

2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died . . . "

3. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work if they are married, how many kids they have, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.

4. This works great if you are male. Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with XYZ Company. " You: Wait for a second and with a real husky voice ask, "What are you wearing?"

5. Cry out in surprise, "Judy? Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where she could know you from.

6. Say "No" over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.

7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends, would you be my friend?"

8. If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out goat blood? How about human blood?"

9. After the Telemarketer gives his or her spiel, ask him or her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you can't just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.

10. Tell the Telemarketer that you work for the same company, and they can't sell to employees.

11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a Telemarketer, set the receiver down, scream, "Oh my God!" and then hang up.

12. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you can call him/her back. When the telemarketer explains that telemarketers cannot give out their home numbers say, "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The Telemarketer will agree and you say, "Me either!" Hang up.

13. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.

14. Tell them it is dinner time, but ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.

15. Tell the Telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you some beer.

16. Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.

17. Tell the Telemarketer, "Okay, I'll listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes."

18. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on, Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"

19. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up . . . louder . . . louder . . .

20. Tell them to talk very slowly, because you want to write every word down.

NOTICE: The above have all been tested and approved for use on telemarketers. No animals were harmed in the testing.

From The Emerald City

 

   

My Dear 'OZ'ians,

As you know, The Wizard makes no money from 'OZ' - The 'Other' Side of the Rainbow. I have strived to keep those annoying ads off my blog. I do qualify for Google Ads but they are too visible and mess up my blog design.  I do promote things from time to time, but those are my endorsements, and again, I am not being paid to post them.

I am seeking donations to help me offset the costs of hosting web pages, pictures and other costs associated with my blog. It costs me about $400/ year to support 'OZ'. If you feel that 'OZ' - The 'Other' Side of the Rainbow is worth it, I would appreciate if you could donate some money to help me offset the costs and continue to post on the blog. Every dollar helps! Fundraiser will stay open even when total is reached as this will be an ongoing fundraiser with a target of $400 for each year, but the total amount raised will be cumulative showing amount raided to date.

You can send your donation via e-transfer to my email address:

The_Wizard@othersideoz.ca

I have also setup a GoFundMe page if you would like to donate there. Click here.

Goal: $400.00 

Current Total Amount Raised: $125.00

Thanks so much for considering a donation!

If you decide not to donate, let me know if you would like your web page link posted on 'OZ'. If I post a link for you, I would appreciate you linking to my blog. Beneficial for both of us!

The PayPal donation page is now closed. Thanks for the donations!

Send your questions to The Wizard of 'OZ' by clicking here.

The Wizard

10 Husbands

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle; I'm still a virgin.

What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?

"Well, husband #1 was a Sales Representative;
he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in Software Services;
he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from Field Services;
he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in Telemarketing;
even though he knew he had the order, didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an Engineer;
he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from Finance and Administration;
he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in Marketing;
although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychiatrist;
all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist;
all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector;
all he ever did was ... God, I miss him!

"But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the husband, "but, why?"

"Duh; you're a LAWYER. This time I KNOW I'm gonna get screwed!"

Art by Steve Walker

 

"One Family's Values"
Click on the picture to goto a facebook page dedicated to him and his art. Tons of homoerotic* litho's available.
Not Porn!

BIOGRAPHY: Drawing is one of Steve Walker's earliest childhood memories. He recollects drawing pictures from about the age of three or four years old. Drawing came naturally to the Toronto artist, and his love of the art form continued into his adulthood. As a self taught artist, Walker only began painting after a trip to Europe when he was 25 years old. During the trip, he spent much of his time in Europe touring the great galleries and museums. In his words it was the first time he was exposed to great painting, and the first time he recognized the potential power of the art form. "I was moved by something that I was capable of doing," he said. His first paintings were done in a somewhat secretive way, as he had no intention of exhibiting or selling, and had no aspirations of becoming a professional artist.

Producing art about his life and the lives of those around him is as natural to Walker as his first childhood drawings. As a gay man, Walker is acutely aware that he is living during a period of history that is both the best of times and the worst of times. There is more freedom and acceptance for gay men and women, while at the same time AIDS has devastated the gay population.

But Walker's paintings are not about gay people or homosexuality. He describes his art as being about love, hate, pain, joy, touch, communication, beauty, loneliness, attraction, hope, despair, life and death. His art includes universal themes regardless of race, gender, socio-economic class, culture or sexual orientation. However, his work is unique because he conveys these themes through the subjects in his paintings, young gay men. "Remove the gender of the painting's subjects and what we have is human relationships in general, and one's relationship to the world itself," he said. "As a homosexual I have been moved, educated, and inspired by works that deal with a heterosexual context. Why would I assume that a heterosexual would be incapable of appreciating work that speaks to common themes in life, as seen through my eyes as a gay man. If the heterosexual population is unable to do this, then the loss is theirs, not mine."

If Walker were an abstract painter or a landscape artist, he says his sexual orientation wouldn't matter. But since his paintings are about gay life, his sexual orientation becomes more important than his cultural background, age, or nationality.

The focus of his paintings often depict sadness and loneliness to reflect the reality that much of anyone's life is sad and lonely. Walker often portrays people in relationships as separate entities because that is the way he views them. He also uses a small and consistent palette of colours because he is comfortable with them and the colours provide the desired results. "Colour is very powerful and a little can go a long way if used effectively," he said. "Some colours are very exciting to me, while others are quite offensive. Painting flesh is very exciting because of the huge variations possible within a very small colour range."

Walker's artworks are very large, always measuring 36" by 48". He creates large paintings because he believes that a large image is more appealing than a smaller one. "Whether it's a television screen, cinema screen, or an image in a magazine, the size of the image connotes a degree of importance," he said. Walker said belonging to an oppressed minority group has been a driving force in creating his art. "Any minority wants and needs to find artistic voices that reflect their own personal situations, and, in doing so, validate and record their lives and cultures for themselves, and for the larger world," he said. 

"Someone to be loved"

The art above is The Wizard's Favourite. I have a framed print.

Walker said he experiences many small rewards during the creative process. "After hours of painting, I stand back and look at something that wasn't there before -- a hand, face, or piece of fabric will exist where there was once a blank canvas," he said.

As an artist, Walker said it's exciting to be working at a point in history where there is an audience ready to appreciate and consume his creations. "It is very rare to find success as an artist in your lifetime," he said. "My work will be around long after me, but seeing it affect people at the time that I am creating it is very rewarding."

In recent years Steve Walker's work has been exhibited in galleries in Toronto, Montreal, New York, Philadelphia and Key West.

The gay community of North America has responded very positively to Walker's art. "I am very aware of the appreciation from a group of people who recognize the time, energy and talent devoted to a body of work that speaks specifically to them but at the same time exists in the larger world that we all live in," he said.

* ho·mo·e·rot·ic ( hō ' mō-ĭ-rŏt ' ĭk ) adj. Of or concerning homosexual love and
desire. Tending to arouse such desire.

True!

Living on Earth may be expensive...But is does include a free yearly trip around the sun." 

 --Anonymous

Ask The Wizard (Cable vs. DSL / HD TV / Medication Tracking Software / Tip of the week)

Dear Wizard of 'OZ',

I'm finally ready to switch to high-speed Internet service. Both cable Internet and DSL are available where I live. I've heard arguments from both sides about which is better. What do you think?

Signed,

Speed Me Up, Scotty

Dear Scotty,

Cable and DSL both provide a connection that's always on, so there's no need to dial up each time you want to go online. But there are differences between them.

Cable generally is faster than DSL. Shaw, for example, claims download speeds of up to 4 Mbps for its standard high-speed service, while SaskTel says its basic DSL service runs at between 384 Kbps and 1.5 Mbps. For everyday Web browsing, you'd never need the higher cable speed and probably wouldn't be able to tell the difference. If you download a lot of music or video, however, cable can do it faster.

The other big factor, as you point out, is price. SaskTel's DSL can be had for about $30-35 per month, while Shaw cable Internet will cost you more than $40. Complicating the picture are installation costs for the services and the price of a modem, but overall, I'd give the value edge right now to DSL.

Hope this helps.

Yrs,

The Wizard

Dear Wizard of 'OZ',

I'm in the market for an LED television that I can use for high-definition programs. If I get one that has an integrated HD tuner, will I be able to receive HD programming through my cable without having to use a set-top box?

Signed, bored with TV

Dear Bored,

Not likely, friend. Tuners in most HDTVs only allow you to receive high-def programming over the air (and only if you also get a special antenna and if you can receive HD signals in your area). To get HD through your cable, you'll need the HD set-top box from the cable company.

Even in the few cases where the set is designed to plug directly into a cable, it won't work if the tuner in the set is incompatible with the cable company's HDTV protocol. And because the protocols are constantly evolving, the built-in tuner could soon be obsolete in any case.

Better to forget the integrated tuner and get an "HD ready" set. Just make sure it can display HDTV pictures, not just accept the signal. Then hook it up to an HD set-top box, and you're in business.

Hope this helps.

Yrs,

The Wizard

Dear Wizard of 'OZ',

Does anyone make good software for keeping track of personal medical records? When my children were little, I was always having trouble remembering when they were vaccinated and which medicines they had taken. Now that I will be a grandmother, I want my kids to be able to do a better job with their babies. Also, I'd like to maintain a list of diseases and illnesses I've had and the medicines I take.

Signed, Confused with Meds

Dear Confused,

Programs with features you're looking for include Health-Minder ($35, at www.health-minder.com) and HealthFrame ($39.95, at www.recordsforliving.com). However, you may not need special software.

Basically, you want to create a database into which you can plug medical records and history. If you already have database software such as Microsoft Access or Libre Office (including Libre Office Base) or a suite that includes a database program, you're in business.

Even a spreadsheet program such as Excel (or Libre Calc, which is also a spreadsheet program), can be used to keep track of medical records. One big advantage of building your own database is that you can customize it -- something that's difficult or impossible with off-the-shelf offerings.


Hope this helps.

Yrs,

The Wizard

TIP OF THE WEEK

Opera, a good alternative Web browser, is now completely free. The Norwegian makers of the software have decided that the only way to compete against Microsoft's Internet Explorer and, more importantly, the upstart Firefox browser from Mozilla.org is to eliminate the ad banners in the free version of Opera.

I still like Firefox better, but at zero cost, Opera's worth a try. You can download it at www.opera.com.

A MESSAGE TO START YOUR DAY.

 

Tess went to her bedroom and pulled a glass jelly jar
from its hiding place in the closet. She poured
all the change out on the floor and counted it carefully.
Three times, even. The total had to be exactly
perfect. No chance here for mistakes. Carefully placing
the coins back in the jar and twisting on the cap, she
slipped out the back door and made her way
blocks to Rexall's Drug Store with the big red Indian Chief sign above
the door. She waited patiently for the pharmacist to give her
some attention but he was too busy at this moment.

Tess twisted her feet to make a scuffing noise.

Nothing.

She cleared her throat with the most disgusting sound
she could muster.

No good.

Finally she took a quarter from her jar and banged it on the
glass counter. That did it!

"And what do you want?" the pharmacist asked in an
annoyed tone of voice. "I'm talking to my brother from
Chicago whom I haven't seen in ages," he said without
waiting for a reply to his question.

"Well, I want to talk to you about my brother," Tess
answered back in the same annoyed tone. "He's really,
really sick... and I want to buy a miracle."

"I beg your pardon?" said the pharmacist.

"His name is Andrew and he has something bad growing
inside his head and my Daddy says only a miracle can
save him now. So how much does a miracle cost?"

"We don't sell miracles here, little girl. I'm sorry but
I can't help you," the pharmacist said, softening
a little.

"Listen, I have the money to pay for it. If it isn't enough,
I will get the rest. Just tell me how much it costs."

The pharmacist's brother was a well dressed man. He
stooped down and asked the little girl, "What kind of
a miracle does your brother need?"

"I don't know," Tess replied with her eyes welling up.
"I just know he's really sick and Mommy says he needs
an operation. But my Daddy can't pay for it, so I want
to use my money".

"How much do you have?" asked the man from Chicago.
"One dollar and eleven cents," Tess answered
barely audibly. "And it's all the Money I have, but I can
get some more if I need to.

"Well, what a coincidence," smiled the man. "A dollar and
eleven cents-the exact price of a miracle for little brothers."

He took her money in one hand and with the other hand
he grasped her mitten and said "Take me to where
you live. I want to see your brother and meet your
parents.

Let's see if I have the kind of miracle you need."

That well dressed man was Dr. Carlton Armstrong, a surgeon, specializing in
neuro-surgery. The operation was completed without charge and it wasn't long until
Andrew was home again and doing well. Mom and Dad were
happily talking about the chain of events that had led
them to this place. "That surgery," her Mom
whispered. "was a real miracle. I wonder how much
it would have cost?"

Tess smiled. She knew exactly how much a miracle cost...
one dollar and eleven cents


...... plus the faith of little child.

R.I.P. Irene Cara (1959 - 2022)

 

Irene Cara, the Oscar-winning singer and actress best known for performing the title songs to the films “Flashdance” and “Fame,” has died at the age of 63.

“It is with profound sadness that on behalf of her family I announce the passing of Irene Cara,” her publicist Judith A. Moose wrote on the artist’s official Twitter account. “The Academy Award winning actress, singer, songwriter, and producer passed away in her Florida home. Her cause of death is currently unknown and will be released when information is available. Irene’s family has requested privacy as they process their grief. She was a beautifully gifted soul whose legacy will live forever through her music and films. Funeral services are pending and a memorial for her fans will be planned at a future date.”

Gas prices!

I went into the 7-11 gas station the other day and asked for five dollars worth of gas. The clerk farted and gave me a receipt.

The 10 Most Powerful Words With Beautiful Pictures!

 

Click above

A Powerpoint Presentation

31 Signs the computer has taken over your life

 

1. Your stationery is more cluttered than Warren Beatty's address book. The letterhead lists a fax number, e-mail addresses for two on-line services, and your Internet address, which spreads across the breadth of the letterhead and continues to the back. In essence, you have conceded that the first page of any letter you write *is* letterhead.

2. You have never sat through an entire movie without having at least one device on your body beep or buzz.

3. You need to fill out a form that must be typewritten, but you can't because there isn't one typewriter in your house -- only computers with laser printers.

4. You think of the gadgets in your office as "friends," but you forget to send your father a birthday card.

5. You disdain people who use low baud rates.

6. When you go into a computer store, you eavesdrop on a salesperson talking with customers -- and you butt in to correct him and spend the next twenty minutes answering the customers' questions, while the salesperson stands by silently, nodding his head.

7. You use the phrase "digital compression" in a conversation without thinking how strange your mouth feels when you say it.

8. You constantly find yourself in groups of people to whom you say the phrase "digital compression." Everyone understands what you mean, and you are not surprised or disappointed that you don't have to explain it.

9. You know Bill Gates' e-mail address, but you have to look up your own social security number.

10. You stop saying "phone number" and replace it with "voice number," since we all know the majority of phone lines in any house are plugged into contraptions that talk to other contraptions.

11. You sign Christmas cards by putting :-) next to your signature.

12. Off the top of your head, you can think of nineteen keystroke symbols that are far more clever than :-)

13. You back up your data every day.

14. Your wife asks you to pick up some minipads for her at the store and you return with a rest for your mouse.

15. You think jokes about being unable to program a VCR are stupid.

16. On vacation, you are reading a computer manual and turning the pages faster than everyone else who is reading John Grisham novels.

17. The thought that CD could refer to investment finance or music rarely enters your mind.

18. You are able to argue persuasively that Ross Perot's phrase "electronic town hall" makes more sense than the term "information superhighway," but you don't because, after all, the man still uses hand-drawn pie charts.

19. You go to computer trade shows and map out your path of the exhibit hall in advance. However, you cannot give someone directions to your house without looking up the street names.

20. You would rather get more dots per inch than miles per gallon.

21. You become upset when a person calls you on the phone to sell you something, but you think it's okay for a computer to call and demand that you start pushing buttons on your telephone to receive more information about the product it is selling.

22. You know without a doubt that disks come in five-and-a-quarter and three-and-a-half inch sizes.

23. Al Gore strikes you as an "intriguing" fellow.

24. You own a set of itty-bitty screwdrivers and you actually know where they are.

25. While contemporaries swap stories about their recent hernia surgeries, you compare mouse-induced index-finger strain with a nine-year-old.

26. You are so knowledgeable about technology that you feel secure enough to say "I don't know" when someone asks you a technology question instead of feeling compelled to make something up.

27. You rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile tires.

28. You have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you own turns bread into charcoal.

29. You have ended friendships because of irreconcilably different opinions about which is better: the track ball or the track pad.

30. You understand all the jokes in this message. If so, my friend, technology has taken over your life. We suggest, for your own good, that you go lie under a tree and write a haiku. And don't use a laptop.

31. You email this message to your friends over the net. You'd never get around to showing it to them in person or reading it to them on the phone. In fact, you have probably never met most of these people face-to-face.

Surfer Dolphins

 

Giddy-up!

 

Quiz Me!!

At the end of this, you are asked a question. Answer it immediately. Don't stop and think about it. Just say the first thing that pops into your mind.

This is kind of spooky!

Do not go to the next calculation before you have finished the previous one. You do not need to write or remember the answers, just do it using your mind. You'll be surprised. Handle each calculation seperately...

How much is . .
15 + 6
3 + 56
89 + 2
12 + 53
75 + 2
25 + 52
63 + 32
I know! Calculations are hard work, but it's nearly over..
Come on, one more..
123 + 5

QUICK! THINK ABOUT A TOOL AND A COLOUR, then Click here!

Time Gets Better With Age

 

Click above

Furby Autopsy

 

The Wizard just purchased a previously enjoyed Furby at the bargain price of $4.99. (Sells for $30 on eBay). Name of Toh-Lu. Got interested in how they work. This site is great! The Easter eggs are fun! I got Toh-Lu to hum "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star"!!!

Furby Easter Eggs:

1. Feed 3 times (waiting to finish talking each time)
Then pat his back
He will then burp 8 times

2. Another easter egg: Clap 3 times (so he hears and waiting to finish talking each time)
Then pat his back. he will then sing twinkle twinkle little star

3. Another easter egg: To find out your furbys name tickle 3 times
Then pat his back and he will tell you his name (it might not work the first time)

4. Another easter egg:Cover his eyes three times (waiting for him to respond each time)
Then pat his back. he will then say cocka-doodle do (x2) me love you

Click on the picture above to go to the Furby autopsy

Moon Phases and what they mean to you

 

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Ever Seen a New Zealand Hooker?

Click here.

Polar Bears Can't Read!

 

Jeff Foxworthy on Saskatchewan!

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 36 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you might live in Saskatchewan.

If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each year because Regina is the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in Saskatchewan.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you might live in Saskatchewan.

If you instinctively walk like a penguin for six months out of the year, you might live in Saskatchewan.

If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Saskatchewan.

 

If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in Saskatchewan.

If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Saskatchewan.
 

YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE SASKATCHEWANIAN WHEN!

1. "Vacation" means going South past Estevan for the weekend.
2. You measure distance in hours.
3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
4. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.
5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.
6. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
7. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
8. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.
9. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce.
10. Down South to you means Portal.
11. Your 1st. of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.
12. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
13. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly." But it is still t-shirt weather
14. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward this post to all your Saskatchewan friends.

Helping hand!

A little girl asked her mom, "Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?"

 Mom replies, "No, because she is in heat."

 "What's that mean?" asked the child.

 "Go ask your father.  I think he's in the garage."

 The little girl goes to the garage and says, "Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block?  I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you."

 Dad said, "Bring Belle over here."

 He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog's backside with it to disguise the scent, and said "OK, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time round the block."

 The little girl left, and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash.

 Surprised, Dad asked, "Where's Belle?"

 YOU'RE GONNA' LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!!

 The little girl said, "She ran out of gas about halfway down the block, so another dog is pushing her home."

Why God made Mothers

 Answers given by 2nd grade school  children to the following questions.

 Why did God make mothers?
 
 1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
 
 2. Mostly to clean the house.
 
 3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
 
 
 How did God make  mothers?
 
 1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
 
 2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
 
 3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He Just used bigger parts.
 
 
 What ingredients are mothers made  of?
 
 1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
 
 2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.
 
 
 Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
 
 1. We're related.
 
 2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.
 
 
 What kind of little girl was your mom?
 
 1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
 
 2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
 
 3. They say she used to be nice.
 
 
 What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
 
 1. His last name.
 
 2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
 
 3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
 
 
 Why did your Mom marry your dad?
 
 1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
 
 2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
 
 3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
 
 
 Who's the boss at your house?
 
 1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball..
 
 2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
 
 3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
 
 
 What's the difference between moms and dads?
 
 1. Moms work at work and work at home, & dads just go to work at work.
 
 2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
 
 3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.

Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
 
 
 What does your Mom do in her spare time?
 
 1. Mothers don't do spare time.
 
 2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
 
 
 What would it take to make your Mom  perfect?
 
 1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
 
 2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.
 
 
 If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?
 
 1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
 
 2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
 
 3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on her back of her head.

"I'd Like To Teach Dolphins To Sing...

 ..In Perfect Harmony...."

Dolphins sing 'Batman' theme

Scientists have taught dolphins to combine both rhythm and vocalisations to produce music, resulting in an extremely high-pitched, short version of the Batman theme song.

The findings, outlined in two studies, are the first time that nonhuman mammals have demonstrated they can recognise rhythms and reproduce them vocally.

"Humans are sensitive to rhythms embedded in sequences of sounds, but we typically consider this skill to be part of processing for language and music, cognitive domains that we consider to be uniquely human," says Professor Heidi Harley, lead author of both studies.

"Clearly, aspects of those domains are available to other species."

The studies will be presented at the joint meeting of the Acoustical Society of America and NOISE-CON 2005, which runs (ran from)  from 17 to 21 October in Minneapolis.

Learning to sing

Harley, who is associate professor of social sciences at the New College of Florida in Sarasota, says that both studies tested dolphins at Disney's Epcot Center in Florida.

The researchers first had an adult male bottlenose dolphin position itself in front of an underwater sound projector, called a hydrophone, that produced six different 14 kiloherz, 4 second rhythms.

The dolphin was rewarded for performing a certain behaviour to each rhythm. For example, when rhythm 1 played, it waved its pectoral fin and when rhythm 2 played, it tossed a ball.

The various rhythms were played at different frequencies and tempos to ensure the dolphin was recognising rhythms instead of just frequencies or sound durations.

Another adult male was trained to produce similar rhythms using a pneumatic switch, essentially a small, air-filled ball connected to a computer that then generated sounds whenever the dolphin pressed the switch.

"The dolphin was reinforced for producing a specific rhythm to a specific object," says Harley.

"For example, when we presented him with a Batman doll, he received a fish for producing a specific rhythm, in this case, a short sound and then a long one."

"If you recall the original Batman TV series musical intro you'll probably remember the way they sang 'Bat-maaaaaaaan'," she adds.

The dolphin spontaneously vocalised to the rhythms, so the researchers started to reward the male with fish whenever it matched its 'singing' to the rhythms.

By the end of the studies, the sientists could show an object, such as the Batman doll, which represented a certain rhythm-vocalisation combo to the dolphin, and it would create the correct sounds both vocally and using the switch.

Batmaaaaaaan

Gordon Bauer, associate professor of psychology at the New College of Florida who did not work on the studies, says, "This is the first report, to my knowledge, of a nonhuman mammal's ability to discriminate rhythmic patterns."

But Bauer doubts that dolphins realise they are producing what people consider 'music'.

"I think music is a human construct," he says. "I doubt that it has pertinence to animals, although the elements of music, such as pitch, time, timbre, rhythm, etc, may be incorporated into animal communication."

Harley agrees, and hopes the everyday vocalisations of dolphins will be analysed in terms of their rhythmic content.

In the near future, she and her team are planning to test the dolphins on their ability to recognise recordings of their own rhythms by having them associate their own sound creations with identifying objects similar to the Batman doll.

*Jennifer Viegas, Discovery News

Fred Dingaling

A cop stops a car for traveling faster than the posted speed limit. So he asks the man his name.

"Fred," he replies.

"Fred what?" the officer asks.

"Just Fred," the man responds.

The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the fellow a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket.  The officer then presses him for the last name.  The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it. The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it.

"Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?"

The man replies, "It's a long story, so stay with me."

"I was born Fred Dingaling. I know -- a funny last name. The kids used to tease me all the time. So I stayed to myself, studied hard, and got good grades.  When I got older I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Dingaling, MD."

"After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through school, got my degree, so then I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS."

"Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD. So now I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS, with VD.

Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS.

Then I was Fred Dingaling, MD with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Dingaling with VD.

Then the VD took away my Dingaling, so now I am Just Fred."

The officer walked away in tears, laughing.

Mis - Fortune Cookie

 

These still give me a chuckle

Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in movie?
They went to see "Closed for the Winter."



Why did the blonde resolve to have only 3 children?
She heard that one out of every four children born in the world was Chinese


Did you hear about the near-tragedy at the mall?
There was a power outage, and two blondes were stuck on the escalators for over four hours.



A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun.

He told her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out.

So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happened.

Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said, "What are you doing?"

The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.

The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Uh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows first."



A blonde went to an eye doctor to have her eyes checked for glasses. The doctor directed her to read various letters with the left eye while covering the right eye. The blonde was so mixed up on which eye was which that the eye doctor, in disgust, took a paper lunch bag with a hole to see through, covered up the appropriate eye, and asked her to read the letters. As he did so, he noticed the blonde had tears streaming down her face.

"Look," said the doctor, "there's no need to get emotional about getting glasses." "I know," agreed the blonde, "But I kind of had my heart set on wire frames.



A blonde was shopping at a Target Store and came across a silver thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and brought it over to the clerk to ask what it was. The clerk said, "That's a thermos . . . it keeps some things hot and some things cold"

"Wow, said the blonde, "that's amazing. I'm going to buy it!" So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day. Her boss saw it on her desk.

"What do you have there?" he asked.

"Why, that's a thermos . .. . it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold," she replied.

Her boss inquired, "What do you have in it?"

The blond replied, "Two Popsicles, and some coffee,"



A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls, and sat down next to a beautiful (you guessed it) blonde. The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets.

Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls."

Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him thoughtfully and finally, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, asked, "Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"

Star Trek vs. Star Wars

 

The Nun

A Russian soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, “Please, may I hide under your skirt, I'll explain later.” 

The nun agreed. A moment later two military police ran up and asked: “Sister, have you seen a soldier?” 

The nun replied, “He went that way.” After the military police ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, “I can't thank you enough, Sister. You see, I don't want to go to Ukraine.” 

The nun said, “I understand completely.” The soldier added, “I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!” 

The nun replied, “If you had looked a little higher, you would've seen a great pair of balls too. I don't want to go to Ukraine either."

13 signs you're falling in love

 

What is the name of man in the fridge who turns off the light - and why is he named that?

There is a little man who lives in the fridge. I have seen him. You have to open the door quick enough and you can see him running away. He is about 2 inches tall and where a green shirt and overalls. 

* His name is Yahootie. I am unsure of the spelling. He lives in the refrigerator and hides out in there, usually behind the milk. He comes out of the refrigerator and will turn on the lights in the kitchen and leave them on. My dad would always blame Yahootie whenever no one in the family would admit to leaving lights or not putting things back where they belong. My dad knew knew this little guy very well.

* I heard this little guy's name was used in WWII as a password. If you didn't know his name you could get shot! I think this was an advertising gimmick. I believe the little man is named "Monty" and he was responsible for shutting off the light in refrigerators sold by Montgomery Ward.

The Racing Camel

A certain man married and moved to the land of his father-in-law. Now his father-in-law was a wealthy man who had a large herd of racing camels, and provided the man with a new racing camel every two years, and had his grooms feed and water and care for the camel.

The man had a saddle from his youth which he dearly loved, and used on his camel. Then one day, at a great gathering of all his father-in-law's family and friends, he stood up and said:

"I have been here among you for years, and have loved this community, yet you have not helped me. Half the time, when I go riding, I fall off my camel. I have even contacted the maker of my saddle, who said my saddle would work fine if I used a wedge-shaped pad under it on the camel. I am tired of falling off, and this is ridiculous."

His father-in-law took him aside and said, "dearest son-in-law, we sorrow with you that you are unable to use your favourite saddle. We all understand how a loved saddle can fit you perfectly. Our saddle-makers are experts in making saddles for racing camels, but do not know how to make your donkey saddle work on a camel. Please take your choice of any fine camel saddle in my tack room."

Very Strange Websites

Arnie Sailormoonegger:

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Stealth Boats:

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Ninja Flex:

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Endless Horse:

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That's The Finger:

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Bury Me With My Money:

 

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 Cross Divisions:

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Cat Bounce:

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Koalas To The Max: 

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Falling:

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Zombo.com:

Visit Site (click on the speaker icon on zombo.com)

NoHomophobes.com:

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Corgy Orgy:

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Ponderings on the Path

Click above to visit Deerhorn Shamanic Services to read more stories

by Trent Deerhorn, Deerhorn Shamanic Services

I am one who enjoys going for walks in the morning…at least when the weather is nice. Once it is raining or snowing or just darn cold, then I hop on board the eliptical and enjoy a “walk” that way.  But my favorite is to walk through parks and such before work each day. Actually, my favorite is to walk through the woods, but I don’t always have time to get out of the city for that, so I settle for the parks.

Now, as I am walking it is usually around the time that people are headed to work and to school and so on.  But there are also others who are simply out for walks as well. I have noticed something that really stands out to me. If I encounter someone who is, say, 35+ years of age, they will usually smile and say, “good morning” and so on, as will I. But people who are younger, say teens to 20’s, will keep their eyes either to the ground or look past me as they pass by, not acknowledging my presence whatsoever. Even if I smile and say, “good morning,” they will simply ignore that and keep walking.

Have we really taught them such “stranger danger” mentality that all courtesy has gone out the window? Is it more important to be “cool” and not respond than it is to be pleasant? Are they so insecure in themselves that they think that simply saying something as easy as “good morning” or even just “morning” (not all mornings are good) is such an emotional effort that takes such a toll of them that they just cannot manage? Please do not misunderstand me. I do not think that ANYONE is obliged to acknowledge my presence. I am not that egocentric. However, when they do not acknowledge myself or anyone else, as I have observed, then there is a real problem devoloping.

I do get it when it comes to young women. Women have been targets of violence for far too long and I do have a LOT to say regarding that, so I won’t go on a rant about it at this time. Suffice it to say, I get it that they may not feel comfortable with smiling or responding to some male stranger walking on a path in the park. Totally get it. BUT, I have also found that, on the very rare occasions that a young person does deem it to be appropriate to be pleasant, IT IS USUALLY THE FEMALES AND NOT THE MALES.

Having said all of this, I must also mention that something else I have noticed is that people tune out nature while they are walking. Yes, I like to listen to music in my earbuds while I walk because it helps me to keep a good pace. But I also have the sound turned way down so that I can still hear the birds, traffic, voices and so on. What is disturbing is that as some young folks walk past, I can hear THEIR music in their earbuds!  Do they not realize that by 30 they will be deaf?? Holy crap! Talk about tuning out the world around you!

I think that this sort of thing is going to have long lasting negative ripple effects in society. How are they going to even maintain a relationship if the go-to is to tune everything and everyone out? How are they going to be able to respond to the world around them if they are oblivious of what is happening around them?

This sort of thing scares me. There was a time that we were raised to be responsible. That is the ability to respond. But if we are tuned out, then how are we able to respond? As I get older, I have begun to worry about the generation that may reasonably be put in charge of my personal care in some nursing home way down the road. If they treat me like this NOW, then how are they going to treat me then? Will I die from malnourishment and neglect because some young idiot didn’t deem it their job to care for me when that is what they are being paid to fricken do? And how are they going to even care for their own offspring if they are tuned out in front of a video game or listening to music blasting in their earbuds?

These are the things that I ponder while on the walking path. I have come to the conclusion so far that the world is going to hell in a handbasket, and I challenge anyone who disagrees to prove it. In the meantime, I hope that my demise is fast and painless, because if I have to rely upon any of these kids to take care of rolling me over so I don’t get bed sores, I am screwed.