DATING ADS FOR SENIORS

Ads seen in ''The Villages'' Florida newspaper.

(Who says seniors don't have a sense of humor!)

FOXY LADY: Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80's, slim, 5'4' (used to be 5'6'), searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus.

LONG-TERM COMMITMENT: Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband, looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath not a problem.

SERENITY NOW: I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga and meditation. If you are the silent type, let's get together, take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.

WINNING SMILE: Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated flosser to share rare steaks, corn on the cob and caramel candy.

BEATLES OR STONES? I still like to rock, still like to cruise in my Camaro on Saturday nights and still like to play the guitar. If you were a groovy chick, or are now a groovy hen, let's get together and listen to my eight-track tapes

MEMORIES: I can usually remember Monday through Thursday. If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let's put our two heads together.

My favorite....


MINT CONDITION: Male, 1932 model, high mileage, good condition, some hair, many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves. Isn't in running condition, but walks well.

*Thanks, Gary

Ice circle

An ice disc, ice circle, or ice pan is a natural phenomenon that occurs in slow moving water in cold climates. Ice circles are thin and circular slabs of ice that rotate slowly in the water. It is believed that they form in eddy currents. Ice discs have most frequently been observed in Scandinavia and North America, but they are occasionally recorded as far south as England and Wales. An ice disc was observed in Wales in December 2008 and another was reported in England in January 2009.

Ice circles vary in size but have been reported to be more than 4 metres (13 ft) in diameter.


Formed by natural processes.. ceated by eddies in the water and friction.

COOL!

Re: link to song "Over the Rainbow/What a Wonderful World"

Link has been removed due to a copyright claim from Epic records. Interesting to note, IZ's mom gave me permission to have that link directly!

--The Wizard

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

WWF Earth Hour Anthem - - "When the lights go down" by Andrew Huang

when the lights go down
i want to be here with you
and the million candles that we light
when the lights go down
i want to dream something new
and let the stars come out tonight

we can feel the change around us
my bit is part of making a difference
so whenever you stop in silence
hear your heart at rest
beautiful, picturesque land
care and respect go hand in hand
it's time that we take a stand here
knowing we're sweetly blessed

to treat the earth kind is our message
and we will never forget this
when every day we're left breathless
by the glow of the sun
the future is ours to own now
with every voice raised up so loud
with every hand in and lights out
it's time to unite as one

together we are stronger x4

One for the birds...

Before you click, remember to look at the 2 birds, study them closely and watch their habits. See if you can spot which of the two is female. It can be done. Even by someone with skills whatsoever in bird watching.
Disclaimer: What conclusions you draw are your own. Under NO circumstance am I implying which is which.

Now Click here.

Save This One For A Bad Day....

Great Advice! LOL!!

Some people have incredible imaginations!

A Day Made of Glass

UNREAL. THIS IS WHAT IT WILL BE LIKE If You LIVE ANOTHER 15 TO 20 YEARS, OR FOR YOUR KIDS WHEN THEY ARE A LITTLE OLDER!!

Irish Mirror

After living in the remote countryside of Ireland all his life, an old Irishman decided it was time to visit Dublin. In one of the stores, he picks up a mirror and looks into it. Not ever having seen a mirror before, he remarked at the image staring back at him.

'How 'bout that! He exclaims, 'Here's a picture of my Fadder.' He bought the mirror thinking it was a picture of his dad, but on the way home he remembered his wife didn't like his father, so he hung it in the shed, and every morning before leaving to go fishing, he would go there and look at it.

His wife began to get suspicious of his many trips to the shed. So, one day after her husband left, she went to the shed and found the mirror.

As she looked into the glass, she fumed, 'So that's the ugly bitch he's running around with.'

News from Bangor, Maine

An original eBook and Audiobook called "A Face in the Crowd" by Stephen King and Stewart O'Nan will be published later this month:

"Dean Evers, an elderly widower, sits in front of the television with nothing better to do than waste his leftover evenings watching baseball.

It's Rays/Mariners, and David Price is breezing through the line-up. Suddenly, in a seat a few rows up beyond the batter, Evers sees the face of someone from decades past, someone who shouldn't be at the ballgame, shouldn't be on the planet. And so begins a parade of people from Evers's past, all of them occupying that seat behind home plate. Until one day Dean Evers sees someone even eerier..."

Food etiquette

Try this quiz...

Click above to beat the Wiz.

Record your score in the comments!

Smart little Newfie

A little boy in Newfoundland, wanted $100.00 for something very special. He prayed for weeks, but nothing happened.

Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100.00.

When the postal authorities received the letter to God, Canada, they decided to send it to the Prime Minister.

The Prime Minister was so amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill.

The Prime Minister thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy in Newfoundland.

The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 bill and sat down to write a thank-you note to God, which read:

Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you sent it through Ottawa, and those assholes took $95.00 in taxes.

*Thanks, Dwight

Psychiatrists v Bartenders

Ever since I was a child, I've always had a fear of someone hiding under my bed at night. So I went to a psychiatrist and told him. . . "I've got a problem, every time I go to bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared shitless!! Do you think I'm going crazy??"

"Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears..."

"How much do you charge?"
"Eighty bucks a visit," replied the shrink.

"Wow, that's expensive, I'll sleep on it," I said.
Six months later, we meet on the street. "Why didn't you ever come back to see me about those fears you were having?" he asked.
"Well, eighty bucks a visit three times a week for a year is a hellava lot of money!! A bartender cured me for $20. I was so happy to have saved all that money I went and bought me a new truck!!"
"Is that so?" And with quite a bit of attitude he said, "and how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?"

"He told me to cut the legs off the f**king bed! Ain't nobody under there now!"


FORGET THOSE LEARNED DOCTORS...

GO HAVE A COUPLE OF DRINKS & TALK TO YOUR BARTENDER.

*Thanks, DW

Costly Irish Funeral

Paddy Died. His Will provided £40,000 for an elaborate funeral.

As the last guests departed the affair, his wife Colleen turned to her oldest and dearest friend. "Ah well, Paddy would be pleased," she said.

"You're right," replied Mary, who lowered her voice and leaned in close.

"So go on, how much did this really cost?"

"All of it," said Colleen.. "Forty thousand."

"Aw No!" Mary exclaimed, "I mean, it was very grand, but £40,000?!!!"

Colleen answered, "The funeral was £6,500. I donated £500 to church.

The whiskey, wine and snacks were another £500. The rest went for the Memorial Stone."

Mary computed quickly.

"For the love of God Colleen, £32,500 for a Memorial Stone? How big is it?"

Bluegrass legend Earl Scruggs dies at age 88

By CHRIS TALBOTT

NASHVILLE, Tenn. (AP) - Bluegrass legend and banjo pioneer Earl Scruggs, who teamed up and helped profoundly change country music with Bill Monroe and later with guitarist Lester Flatt, has died. He was 88.

Scruggs' son Gary said his father passed away Wednesday morning at a Nashville, Tenn., hospital. Gary Scruggs said his father died of natural causes.

The elder Scruggs was an innovator who pioneered modern banjo sound. His use of three fingers rather than the clawhammer style elevated the banjo from a part of the rhythm section - or a comedian's prop - to a lead instrument.

His string-bending and lead runs became known worldwide as "the Scruggs picking style." It was perhaps most prominently displayed on the iconic theme from "The Beverly Hillbillies."

Gary Scruggs says funeral plans are incomplete.

Feng Shui Horoscope

This is a Chinese Feng Shui horoscope.. If you are honest this tells the truth.

Write your answers on paper.

To find your Feng Shui horoscope scroll down.

1. Which is your favorite color: Red, Black, Blue, Green or Yellow?
2. Your first initial?
3. Your month of birth?
4. Which color do you like more, Black or White?
5. The name of a person that is the same sex as you?
6. Your favorite number?
7. Do you like California or Florida more?
8. Do you like a Lake or the Ocean more?
9. Write down a Wish (a realistic one)


When you are done, scroll down. Don't cheat!



Answers:

1. If you choose:
Red: You are alert and your life is full of love.
Black: You are conservative and aggressive.
Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back..
Blue: You are spontaneous and love affection.
Yellow: You are a very happy person & give good advice to those who are down.

2. If your initial is between:
A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.
L-R: You try to live your life to the max & your love life is soon to bloom.
S-Z: You like to help others and your future looks very bright.

3. If you were born in:
Jan-Mar: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected.
Apr-Jun: You will have a strong love relationship that will last forever.
Jul-Sep: You will have a great year and will experience a major life changing experience for the good.
Oct-Dec: Your life will be great; you will find your soul mate.

4. If you choose:
Black: Your life is about to get better. You are more than ready for the change.
White: You have a friend who completely confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may not realize it.

5 This person should be your Best Friend.

6. This is how many close friends you will have in your life time.

7. If you choose:
California : You like adventure.
Florida : You are a laid back person.

8. If you choose:
Lake : You are loyal to your friends and your lover. You are very reserved.
Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.

History - someone's point of view...

Tinian Island, Pacific Ocean.

It's a small island, less than 40 square miles, a flat green dot in the vastness of Pacific blue.

Fly over it and you notice a slash across its north end of uninhabited bush, a long thin line that looks like an overgrown dirt runway. If you didn't know what it was, you wouldn't give it a second glance out your airplane window.




On the ground, you see the runway isn't dirt but tarmac and crushed limestone, abandoned with weeds sticking out of it. Yet this is arguably the most historical airstrip on earth. This is where World War II was won. This is Runway Able:



On July 24, 1944, 30,000 US Marines landed on the beaches of Tinian.... Eight days later, over 8,000 of the 8,800 Japanese soldiers on the island were dead (vs. 328 Marines), and four months later the Seabees had built the busiest airfield of WWII - dubbed North Field - enabling B-29 Superfortresses to launch air attacks on the Philippines, Okinawa, and mainland Japan.

Late in the afternoon of August 5, 1945, a B-29 was maneuvered over a bomb loading pit, then after lengthy preparations, taxied to the east end of North Field's main runway, Runway Able, and at 2:45am in the early morning darkness of August 6, took off.

The B-29 was piloted by Col. Paul Tibbets of the US Army Air Force, who had named the plane after his mother, Enola Gay. The crew named the bomb they were carrying Little Boy. 6 hours later at 8:15am, Japan time, the first atomic bomb was dropped on Hiroshima.

Three days later, in the pre-dawn hours of August 9, a B-29 named Bockscar (a pun on "boxcar" after its flight commander Capt. Fred Bock), piloted by Major Charles Sweeney took off from Runway Able. Finding its primary target of Kokura obscured by clouds, Sweeney proceeded to the secondary target of Nagasaki, over which, at 11:01am, bombardier Kermit Beahan released the atomic bomb dubbed Fat Man.

Here is "Atomic Bomb Pit #1" where Little Boy was loaded onto Enola Gay:



There are pictures displayed in the pit, now glass-enclosed. This one shows Little Boy being hoisted into Enola Gay's bomb bay.



And here on the other side of ramp is "Atomic Bomb Pit #2" where Fat Man was loaded onto Bockscar.





The commemorative plaque records that 16 hours after the nuking of Nagasaki, "On August 10, 1945 at 0300, the Japanese Emperor, without his cabinet's consent, decided to end the Pacific War."

Take a good look at these pictures. This is where World War II ended with total victory of America over Japan. I was there all alone. There were no other visitors and no one lives anywhere near for miles. Visiting the Bomb Pits, walking along deserted Runway Able in solitude, was a moment of extraordinarily powerful solemnity.

It was a moment of deep reflection. Most people, when they think of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, reflect on the numbers of lives killed in the nuclear blasts - at least 70,000 and 50,000 respectively.


"Suicide cliff" on the nearby island of Saipan

Saipan is less than a mile north of Tinian.... The month before the Marines took Tinian, on June 15, 1944, 71,000 Marines landed on Saipan.... They faced 31,000 Japanese soldiers determined not to surrender.

Japan had colonized Saipan after World War I and turned the island into a giant sugar cane plantation. By the time of the Marine invasion, in addition to the 31,000 entrenched soldiers, some 25,000 Japanese settlers were living on Saipan, plus thousands more Okinawans, Koreans, and native islanders brutalized as slaves to cut the sugar cane.

There were also one or two thousand Korean "comfort women" (kanjiin Japanese), abducted young women from Japan's colony of Korea to service the Japanese soldiers as sex slaves. (See The Comfort Women: Japan's Brutal Regime of Enforced Prostitution in the Second World War, by George Hicks.)

Within a week of their landing, the Marines set up a civilian prisoner encampment that quickly attracted a couple thousand Japanese and others wanting US food and protection. When word of this reached Emperor Hirohito - who contrary to the myth was in full charge of the war- he became alarmed that radio interviews of the well-treated prisoners broadcast to Japan would subvert his people's will to fight.

As meticulously documented by historian Herbert Bix in "Hirohito and the Making of Modern Japan", the Emperor issued an order for all Japanese civilians on Saipan to commit suicide. The order included the promise that, although the civilians were of low caste, their suicide would grant them a status in heaven equal to those honored soldiers who died in combat for their Emperor.

And that is why the precipice in the picture above is known as Suicide Cliff, off which over 20,000 Japanese civilians jumped to their deaths to comply with their fascist emperor's desire - mothers flinging their babies off the cliff first or in their arms as they jumped.

Anyone reluctant or refused, such as the Okinawan or Korean slaves, were shoved off at gunpoint by the Japanese soldiers. Then the soldiers themselves proceeded to hurl themselves into the ocean to drown off a sea cliff afterwards called Banzai Cliff. Of the 31,000 Japanese soldiers on Saipan, the Marines killed 25,000, 5,000 jumped off Banzai Cliff, and only the remaining thousand were taken prisoners.




Oh, yes...Guinness lists Saipan as having the best, most equitable, weather in the world. And the beaches? Well, take a look:

The Wizard needs your opinion

'OZ's daily traffic is down. I would like to know what parts of 'OZ you like, what parts you don't and what you want to see here. Perhaps 'OZ' is simply becoming a nothing special in the face of a crowd of websites. I hope not. Please take a moment to do the poll below and also add your 2 cents in the comments. I will look seriously at the answers and strive to make 'OZ' more relevant to your busy on-line day.

CAKE OR BED

A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A FOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS, HONEY, COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY? IT'S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW.

HE LOOKS AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY, FIX THE LIGHTS NOW? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE GE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO.

FINE, THEN THE WIFE ASKS, WELL THEN, COULD YOU FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR? IT WON'T CLOSE RIGHT.

TO WHICH HE REPLIED, FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE WESTINGHOUSE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO.

FINE, SHE SAYS THEN YOU COULD AT LEAST FIX THE STEPS TO THE FRONT DOOR? THEY ARE ABOUT TO BREAK.

I'M NOT A DAMM CARPENTER AND I DON'T WANT TO FIX STEPS. HE SAYS, DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE ACE HARDWARE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO. I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU. I'M GOING TO THE BAR!!!!

SO HE GOES TO THE BAR AND DRINKS FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS ......................

HE STARTS TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT HOW HE TREATED HIS WIFE, AND DECIDES TO GO HOME. AS HE WALKS INTO THE HOUSE HE NOTICES THAT THE STEPS ARE ALREADY FIXED. AS HE ENTERS THE HOUSE, HE SEES THE HALL LIGHT IS WORKING. AS HE GOES TO GET A BEER, HE NOTICES THE FRIDGE DOOR IS FIXED.

HONEY, HE ASKS, HOW'D ALL THIS GET FIXED?

SHE SAID, WELL, WHEN YOU LEFT I SAT OUTSIDE AND CRIED. JUST THEN A NICE YOUNG MAN ASKED ME WHAT WAS WRONG, AND I TOLD HIM. HE OFFERED TO DO ALL THE REPAIRS, AND ALL I HAD TO DO WAS EITHER GO TO BED WITH HIM OR BAKE A CAKE.

HE SAID, SO WHAT KIND OF CAKE DID YOU BAKE?

SHE REPLIED, HELLOOOOO.... DO YOU SEE BETTY CROCKER WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO!

The Luck of The Wood

This post is about a good friend of mine. His name is Cliff Woodworth, tho' I always call him Woody. He is sometimes told he has a special gift for bring good fortune to others, and himself, It's called: "The Luck of The Wood". He and his wife Cathy, live in Colorado Springs CO. That is where that big NORAD station is in the mountain. He kidded me about the Will Rogers monument up on the mountain, as I confused him with Roy Rogers, hehe... (Did you know that 'America The Beautiful' was written at the top of Pike's Peak? And that the writer was Katharine Lee Bates?

Anyway, Woody has a band. It's called "CD Woods", and he plays guitar and does vocal. He is very good, and the last time I was in The Springs, he gave me a copy of his disc, "Over Again". It has some of the best country that I have ever heard. He sings without effort and truly believes and practices what he says... '"Over Again" represents a philosophy I follow. The idea of accepting life's challenges is all part of each day's life experience and I can't wait to start it all over again."' The following, I snarfed from his website, Gypsyheart.com/CDWoods.htm:

"CD Woods has been in the music industry for over 25 years. His performances have led him all over the United States and Canada singing songs of true-to-life experiences. Join in on the fun and humor of this singer/songwriter as he sings hits off of his CD debut of "Over Again". Enjoy the well crafted lyrics and velvet voice of this family style performer." I value his friendship and I still remember that GREAT CANADA DAY party we hosted at my house in the country. The instructions were the usual, BYOB, BYOLC (Lawn Chair), and one not typical, BYOF (Bring Your Own Fireworks)... Well! Cathy and Woody brought some of the best American Fireworks, that I have ever seen! A truly memorable July 1. I still smirk when I remember seeing Woody proudly wearing his Canada pin (My mother in law gave him it), and waving a small Canadian Flag around!

Buy his CDs! You won't be disappointed! Oh, and Tell him The Wizard Of 'OZ' sent ya! AcoustifcBylines.com

IF "GOD" EXISTS

"GOD" ALLOWS EVIL
"GOD" IS POWERLESS
"GOD" IS A SADIST
"GOD" IS BLIND
"GOD" IS UNFEELING

HE/SHE IS NOT MY "GOD"

MY GODDESS AND GOD KNOW THE LIMITS OF THEIR POWER...

THEY CANNOT HELP, NOR DO I EXPECT THAT FROM THEM.

MY GODDESS/GOD HAVE NEVER PROMISED THAT WHICH THEY CANNOT DELIVER.

MY GODDESS/GOD HAVE NOT LIED TO ME.

I WAS TAUGHT THE 'OTHER' "GOD" IS GOOD.
HE/SHE IS NOT...
CANNOT
DOES NOT
EXIST...

PFFT!

KEEPING MEN ON TARGET

A talking toilet that warns men about missing their target has become a hot seller in Germany. Women fed up with men with a poor aim are reportedly particularly keen to buy the new gadget, according to the Herald Sun newspaper. It is placed under the toilet rim and, if the seat is lifted, declares in a stern female tone: "What are you up to then? Put the seat back down right away. You are definitely not to pee standing up ... you will make a right mess." The talking toilet is set to be sold across Europe.

The Old Couple

The two old boys were rocking back and forth on the front porch of the Happy Trails Gay Senior home. They had been together for more than 50 years, and now they enjoying their golden years at the retirement centre. Slowly they rocked, in rhythm as this was their time to spend a few quiet moments and after years of practice they rocked to the same pace. Suddenly Bruce stopped, grabbed his cane, and with a loud and hard WHACK hit Mort across the shins. Poor old Mort's eyes watered and tears ran down his cheeks. When he finally caught his breath he gasped and asked, "What'd you do that fer?" "That's fer fifty years of bad sex," Bruce said. Mort just nodded his head, saying nothing. Slowly they began to rock again. Again they kept pace. Back and forth, back and forth they rocked, until suddenly Mort stopped, and picked up his cane. He reached over and with a loud, sharp WHACK, he hit Bruce across the shins. As soon as Bruce's eyes quit watering and he could speak he asked, "What was that fer?" "That," said Mort, as he began to rock again, "is fer knowin' the difference."

BEAUTIFUL FLORAL CARPET

This beautiful "carpet" is created every year in the Grand Palace in Brussels. It's made entirely with fresh flowers - begonias. What a breathtaking sight! Isn't it wonderful that there is so much beauty in this world and the computer enables all to enjoy it.

BRUSSELS IN BLOOM





How's that for a flower garden??