Tech Calls (Help Desk)

Hopefully you won't find yourself on either side of these calls.... 

Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it just doesn't work. What am I doing wrong? 

Tech support: OK, you've got the CD in the CD drive, right? 

Customer: Yeah.... 

Tech support: And what sort of computer are you using? 

Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven't got a computer. It's in the CD player and all I get is weird noises. Listen.... 

Tech support: Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!! It is a funny joke, however a cd player could not read the cd unless there was an mp3 file in the root of the drive. So no sound would come out.  

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have? 

Female customer: A white one...

   

Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out. 

Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button? 

Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck. 

Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note. 

Customer: No .. wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....  

Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on the left of the screen. 

Customer: Your left or my left? 

 

Tech support: Good day. How may I help you? 

Male customer: Hello... I can't print. 

Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and... 

Customer: Listen pal, don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates, darn it!  

Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...  

Customer: I have problems printing in red... 

Tech support: Do you have a color printer? 

Customer: Aaaah....................thank you. 

Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am? 

Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.  

Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore. 

Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer? 

Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer. 

Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back. 

Customer: OK 

Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you? 

Customer: Yes 

Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard? 

Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work.

   

Tech support: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7. 

Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?  

Customer: I can't get on the Internet. 

Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password? 

Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it. 

Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was? 

Customer: Five stars.

 

Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use? 

Customer: Netscape. Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program. 

Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer. 

 

Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.  

Tech support: How may I help you? 

Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail. 

Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem? 

Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?  

A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. 

Tech support: Are you running it under windows? 

Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."  

And last but not least:.... 

Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager." 

Customer: I don't have a P. 

Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob. 

Customer: What do you mean? 

Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob. 

Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!

  

The Bear

A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer.

The bartender approaches and says, "We don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings."

The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer.

The bartender tells him again, more forcefully, "We don't serve beer to belligerent bears in bars in Billings."

The bear, very angry now, says, "If you don't serve me a beer, I'm going to eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar."

The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings"

The bear goes to the end of the bar, and, as promised, eats the woman. He comes back to his seat and again demands a beer.

The bartender states, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings who are on drugs."

The bear says, "I'm NOT on drugs." 

The bartender says, "You are now. That was a barbitchyouate 

Kitty Thoughts

When I was just a kitten,

My mother said to me.

"Someday, you'll have a human pet,

They're cuddly and they're free".

She said "They're awful clumsy,

They stumble, trip, and fall.

They cannot even see a Cat,

Sleeping in a hall".

"They act as if they own the place,

They're bossy every day".

"You'll learn you must ignore them

It's just the human way".

So, I took my Mom's advice,

I got a human pet.

I have named her Bev,

And she's cuddly as they get.

Owning Bev's been some fun,

And usually we are friends.

But she can be a handful,

I'm glad she wasn't twins.

Humans really aren't too bright,

Their brains are small, I guess.

While trying hard to train her,

I've not had much success.

She doesn't seem to understand,

How things are 'posed to be.

She insists on being headstrong,

Not mellowed out, like me.

She hasn't learned to lick herself,

To keep her body clean.

And when it comes to purring,

She isn't very keen.

She plays on her computer,

Just wasting time away.

When playing with a ball of string,

Could really make her day.

She's seems content to sit there,

Banging on those keys.

While I inspect her ankles,

Checking them for fleas.

When my neighbors visit me,

We sneak out to the bushes.

We laugh about our human pets,

While sitting on our tushes.

Bev's getting up in years,

And becoming rather slow.

There are a lot of cats out there,

Who'd say she has to go.

But I'm inclined to keep her,

I've considered this a lot.

Why train another human pet,

When I love the one I've GOT.

SHARE and W-I-N!

Only 2 Days left to enter!

 

Yes, that's right... The Wizard of 'OZ' is having a 

"SHARE and WIN" contest! 

 

All you have to do is share a POST from 'OZ' that you like (any post, any date!) Take a screenshot of where you shared the post, such as facebook, Instagram, Twitter and more, as long as it it is by social media* and not just emailed to a person. Then email the screenshot to The_Wizard@othersideoz.ca - please put "$50 Gift Card Contest" in the subject. I will not share your email address and will delete all information at the end of the contest.

  $50.00 Gift Card

 

A random draw will be made for one $50.00 (fifty dollar) Gift Card of your choice (provided the gift card is available for purchase in Canada). Contest open to anyone 16 years old or older and a resident of Canada (Void in Quebec) or The USA at the time of the random draw. 

 

The final winner will be declared on Sept 1st 2022 at 9PM (CST). The random drawing will be made by The Wizard of 'OZ' and the contest will be deemed to be over by 9PM (CST) on September 1st. 

 

Contest runs from July 2nd to September 1st 2022. Winner will be notified by the same email as the entry was submitted with. Contest may be extended past September 1, 2022 - If there are no entries during the contest period (The Wizard's prerogative.)

No purchase necessary.

*The fine print: Prize is in CDN dollars. The draw will be made September 1, 2022 by The Wizard of 'OZ', from all entries received up to and including September 1, 2022 at 9PM CST. There will be only one (1) winner chosen out of all entries received by the closing date and time. 1 gift card is available. The Wizard of 'OZ's decision will be final. Social media includes facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Blogger (or other web log page), Linked in. Contest available only in Canada and The United States of America. Odds of winning is dependent upon the number of entries received. Winner's name will be published on 'OZ' (last name can be withheld by request). In the event that no one enters the contest, The Wizard reserves the right to extend the contest to a point in the future that The Wizard decides.  Contest void where prohibited by law. The Wizard of 'OZ' and the blog 'OZ' - The 'Other' Side of the Rainbow make no money from this contest nor from the blog as a whole. The purpose of this contest is to increase visitors to my blog. Again, I make no money from the blog and 'OZ' - The 'Other' Side of the Rainbow is 100% Paid ad free.

Mikhail Gorbachev - Dead at 91

Mikhail Gorbachev — the last president of the Soviet Union — dies after prolonged illness

Mikhail Gorbachev, the last president of the Soviet Union before its dissolution, has died in Moscow at the age of 91, according to official statements.

Gorbachev, whose tumultuous rule was associated with the terms of perestroika and glasnost — reform and openness — died after a long illness, according to official Russian news agencies.

Like him or hate him, Gorbachev was part and parcel in the breakup of the Soviet Union and the tearing down of the Berlin wall. He also worked with Ronald Reagan, the US President to lower the stockpile of nuclear weapons the two countries had. 

Janet Jackson Ruining Older Hardware

MITRE assigned the video with the song Janet Jackson "Rhythm Nation" the vulnerability identifier of CVE-2022-38392 due to the disruption of the normal operation of some old laptops during its playback. This composition can lead to an emergency shutdown of the system due to failures in the hard disk associated with the reproduction of certain resonance frequencies.

It is noted that the frequency in the clip coincides with the fluctuations occurring in disks rotating at 5400 rpm, which leads to a sharp increase in the amplitude of their oscillations. Information about the problem was shared by a Microsoft employee, who told a story from the weekdays of the support service of Windows XP about: How to deal with the complaints of users of one of the major manufacturers who revealed that "Rhythm Nation" leads to disruptions of individual models of drives based on hard magnetic disks used in the laptops produced by this manufacturer.

The problem was solved by the manufacturer through the addition of a special filter to the sound system that does not allow unwanted frequencies during sound playback. But such a workaround did not provide full protection, for example, the case mentioned where the failure was repeated not on the device on which the clip was played, but on a nearby laptop. The problem was also recorded on laptops from other manufacturers sold around 2005. Information about the effect has been disclosed since it has already lost its relevance and the problem does not manifest in modern hard drives.

--Full Circle magazine #183

Play this at your peril...

The Coca-Cola Blunder

From Quora, by Joe Brown

Coca-Cola is really taking a beating in these answers, but we should never forget the disasterous “MagiCan” scandal of the early 90s. *

You know how you get a little prize in cereal boxes? Well Coke wanted to include prizes like that in cans of its soda. They invented a little spring-loaded device that would pop out the prize when the can was opened.

But this had a problem: it made the can feel half-empty, because, well, it was. So they added water to the mechanism to make the can approximately the same weight as a normal one.

But the water presented another problem: it greatly increased the likelihood of bacteria invading the drink. So they chlorinated it.

But of course, if there’s some kind of failure, you don’t want to be drinking chlorinated cola, and Coke didn’t want people to think there was something wrong with the cola itself.

So they added ammonium sulfate to the water, which is the chemical responsible for the rotten-egg stink. That way, if there was a failure, you’d know immediately and not drink from that can. (That was the theory, anyway; most of the customers didn’t get the memo.)

Failures, unfortunately, happened quite often. Many people complained that their prize was soaked and stinking. Other people reported that their Coke smelled awful and tasted worse, unaware that there was supposed to have been a prize inside, because the mechanism failed to activate altogether.

Worse, people who got the defective cans became terrified at the strange odor and foreign object floating in their drink, thinking it had been tampered with and poisoned by some nefarious criminal. People checked themselves into the hospital, and rumors grew the Coke wasn’t safe to drink. This, of course, got blown way out of proportion very, very quickly.

Somehow Coca-Cola had decided not to mark the MagiCans in any way whatsoever. They just looked like normal cans. This series of massive miscalculations and misjudgements was a $100 million campaign that was quietly ended after three weeks because the MagiCan confused and frightened so many customers. Talk about a blunder.

* That Time Coca-Cola Spent $100 Million Intentionally Filling Coke Cans With Water That Smelled Like Farts

"Squid Game" makes a record at the Emmy's

"Squid Game"  make history with 14 nominations for the Emmy's.

After a celebrated debut season, "Squid Game" made history by earning 14 Emmy nominations. The Netflix drama became the first Korean-language series to break through at the Primetime Emmy Awards, with nods in the top categories, including Outstanding Drama Series.

“I feel so happy and honored that Squid Game became the first non-English language series to be nominated for the Emmy Awards. I hope that Squid Game’s Emmy nominations will open up even more opportunities for the whole world to enjoy and appreciate each other’s content beyond the barriers of culture and language,” creator Hwang Dong-hyuk said of the show's historic nominations.

More at aol.com

SHARE and W-I-N!

 

Yes, that's right... The Wizard of 'OZ' is having a 

"SHARE and WIN" contest! 

 

All you have to do is share a POST from 'OZ' that you like (any post, any date!) Take a screenshot of where you shared the post, such as facebook, Instagram, Twitter and more, as long as it it is by social media* and not just emailed to a person. Then email the screenshot to The_Wizard@othersideoz.ca - please put "$50 Gift Card Contest" in the subject. I will not share your email address and will delete all information at the end of the contest.

  $50.00 Gift Card

 

A random draw will be made for one $50.00 (fifty dollar) Gift Card of your choice (provided the gift card is available for purchase in Canada). Contest open to anyone 16 years old or older and a resident of Canada (Void in Quebec) or The USA at the time of the random draw. 

 

The final winner will be declared on Sept 1st 2022 at 9PM (CST). The random drawing will be made by The Wizard of 'OZ' and the contest will be deemed to be over by 9PM (CST) on September 1st. 

 

Contest runs from July 2nd to September 1st 2022. Winner will be notified by the same email as the entry was submitted with. Contest may be extended past September 1, 2022 - If there are no entries during the contest period (The Wizard's prerogative.)

No purchase necessary.

*The fine print: Prize is in CDN dollars. The draw will be made September 1, 2022 by The Wizard of 'OZ', from all entries received up to and including September 1, 2022 at 9PM CST. There will be only one (1) winner chosen out of all entries received by the closing date and time. 1 gift card is available. The Wizard of 'OZ's decision will be final. Social media includes facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Blogger (or other web log page), Linked in. Contest available only in Canada and The United States of America. Odds of winning is dependent upon the number of entries received. Winner's name will be published on 'OZ' (last name can be withheld by request). In the event that no one enters the contest, The Wizard reserves the right to extend the contest to a point in the future that The Wizard decides.  Contest void where prohibited by law. The Wizard of 'OZ' and the blog 'OZ' - The 'Other' Side of the Rainbow make no money from this contest nor from the blog as a whole. The purpose of this contest is to increase visitors to my blog. Again, I make no money from the blog and 'OZ' - The 'Other' Side of the Rainbow is 100% Paid ad free.

From The Emerald City

   

My Dear 'OZ'ians,

As you know, The Wizard makes no money from 'OZ' - The 'Other' Side of the Rainbow. I have strived to keep those annoying ads off my blog. I do qualify for Google Ads but they are too visible and mess up my blog design.  I do promote things from time to time, but those are my endorsements, and again, I am not being paid to post them.

I am seeking donations to help me offset the costs of hosting web pages, pictures and other costs associated with my blog. It costs me about $400/ year to support 'OZ'. If you feel that 'OZ' - The 'Other' Side of the Rainbow is worth it, I would appreciate if you could donate some money to help me offset the costs and continue to post on the blog. Every dollar helps!

You can send your donation via e-transfer to my email address:

The_Wizard@othersideoz.ca

I have also setup a GoFundMe page if you would like to donate there. Click here.

Thanks so much for considering a donation!

If you decide not to donate, let me know if you would like your web page link posted on 'OZ'. If I post a link for you, I would appreciate you linking to my blog. Beneficial for both of us!

The PayPal donation page is now closed. Thanks for the donations!

Send your questions to The Wizard of 'OZ' by clicking here.

The Wizard

Do I smell?

Trying to control my dry hair, I treated my scalp with olive oil before washing it. Worried that the oil might leave an odor, I washed my hair several times. That night when I went to bed, I leaned over to my husband and asked, "Do I smell like olive oil?"

"No," he said, sniffing me. "Do I smell like Popeye?"

What STR8 Guys Do In The Bathroom...

 

Click above for the short movie

Bumper Snickers

Your kid may be an honours student, but you're still an idiot.

All generalizations are false.

Cover me - I'm changing lanes.

Forget about World Peace...Visualize using your turn signal.

We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart?

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

It IS as bad as you think; they ARE out to get you.

Dear Auntie Em,… Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy (That one's for you, Wizard).

Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

Forget the Joneses, I keep us up with the Simpsons.

The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.

I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.

Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let him sleep (I think Brian says this about me!).

I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

If you don't like the news, go out and make some.

Real women don't have hot flashes. They have power surges.

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

OK, who stopped payment on my reality check?

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill them.

Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

How can I miss you if you won't go away?

Warning: Dates in calendar are closer than they appear.

Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes.

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

Be nice to your kids. They'll be the ones to choose your nursing home.

There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count  & those who can't.

Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

Caution: I drive like you do.

My kid beat-up your honour student.

So many cats - So few recipes.

Inter-Galactic Travel

Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was abandoned.

They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader."

The gas pump, of course, didn't respond. The younger alien became angry at the lack of response and the older alien said, "I'd calm down if I were you"

The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting.

Again, there was no response. Annoyed by what he perceived to be the pump's haughty attitude, he drew his ray gun and said impatiently, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Do not ignore us this way! Take us to your leader or I will fire!"

The older alien warned his comrade saying, "You don't want to do that! I don't think you should make him mad."

"Rubbish," replied the cocky, young alien. He aimed his weapon at the pump and opened fire.

There was a huge explosion. A massive fireball roared towards them and blew the younger alien off his feet and deposited him a burnt, crumpling mess about 200 yards away in a cactus patch.

About a half hour passed. When he finally regained consciousness, he refocused his three eyes and straightened his bent antenna and looked dazedly at the older, wiser alien who was standing over him shaking his big green head.

"What a ferocious creature!" exclaimed the young, fried alien. "He damn near killed me! How did you know he was so dangerous?"

The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy friend and replied, "If there's one thing I've learned during my intergalactic travels, when a guy has a penis he can wrap around himself and then stick it in his ear, you REALLY don't want to mess with him!"

"I Have A Dream"

Five score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of captivity. But one hundred years later, we must face the tragic fact that the Negro is still not free.

One hundred years later, the life of the Negro is still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of discrimination. One hundred years later, the Negro lives on a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity. One hundred years later, the Negro is still languishing in the corners of American society and finds himself an exile in his own land.

So we have come here today to dramatize an appalling condition. In a sense we have come to our nation's capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir.

This note was a promise that all men would be guaranteed the inalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note insofar as her citizens of color are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given the Negro people a bad check which has come back marked "insufficient funds." But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation.

So we have come to cash this check -- a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice. We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to open the doors of opportunity to all of God's children. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood.

It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment and to underestimate the determination of the Negro. This sweltering summer of the Negro's legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. Nineteen sixty-three is not an end, but a beginning. Those who hope that the Negro needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the nation returns to business as usual. There will be neither rest nor tranquility in America until the Negro is granted his citizenship rights.

Delivered on the steps at the Lincoln Memorial in Washington D.C. on August 28, 1963. Source: Martin Luther King, Jr: The Peaceful Warrior, Pocket Books, NY 1968

The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges. But there is something that I must say to my people who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice. In the process of gaining our rightful place we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred.

We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. we must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force.

The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the Negro community must not lead us to distrust of all white people, for many of our white brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny and their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom.

We cannot walk alone. And as we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall march ahead. We cannot turn back. There are those who are asking the devotees of civil rights, "When will you be satisfied?" we can never be satisfied as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of travel, cannot gain lodging in the motels of the highways and the hotels of the cities. We cannot be satisfied as long as the Negro's basic mobility is from a smaller ghetto to a larger one. We can never be satisfied as long as a Negro in Mississippi cannot vote and a Negro in New York believes he has nothing for which to vote. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream.

I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from narrow cells. Some of you have come from areas where your quest for freedom left you battered by the storms of persecution and staggered by the winds of police brutality. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive.

Go back to Mississippi, go back to Alabama, go back to Georgia, go back to Louisiana, go back to the slums and ghettos of our northern cities, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed. Let us not wallow in the valley of despair. I say to you today, my friends, that in spite of the difficulties and frustrations of the moment, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal." I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slaveowners will be able to sit down together at a table of brotherhood. I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a desert state, sweltering with the heat of injustice and oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice. I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day the state of Alabama, whose governor's lips are presently dripping with the words of interposition and nullification, will be transformed into a situation where little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls and walk together as sisters and brothers. I have a dream today. I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together. This is our hope. This is the faith with which I return to the South. With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.

This will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with a new meaning, "My country, 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, land of the pilgrim's pride, from every mountainside, let freedom ring." And if America is to be a great nation, this must become true. So let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire. Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York. Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania! Let freedom ring from the snowcapped Rockies of Colorado! Let freedom ring from the curvaceous peaks of California! But not only that; let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia! Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee! Let freedom ring from every hill and every molehill of Mississippi. From every mountainside, let freedom ring.

When we let freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"

by Martin Luther King, Jr

How to pass time at a stoplight...

Next time you are in a car with a friend, and you pull up to a red light, look at the guy in the car next to you.

Roll down your window really fast (like you want to talk to him), and when the guy rolls HIS window down, look at him and yell:

"Oh, did you fart, too?"

Electric Fence

The story accompanying these photos is one of 7 circulating over the net. This one is wrong as it places the incidence in Australia.... first clue it's not quite right? Pythons are from Africa.

The final comment from Urban Legends and hoaxes:

Of the seven different captions that have accompanied the preceding images on their email rounds since July 2005, only one correctly identifies their place of origin: a game farm in South Africa. Specifically, the snapshots were taken at the Silent Valley Game Ranch in the Limpopo Province.

As stated on the ranch's Web site, the snake is four-meter-long rock python which, shortly before its death, had swallowed a full-grown female impala, making its body too fat to squeeze under the electric fence without touching it.

Electric Fence....

Read story first!!!

An Australian sheep farmer was puzzled at the disappearance of sheep on his farm.

After a few weeks of sheep disappearing the farmer decided to put up an electric fence.

This is what he found! ...

U.S. Holds Going-Out-Of-Business Sale

  

WASHINGTON, DC—In an address broadcast on late-night television Friday, President Biden announced that the federal government will liquidate its holdings in a going-out-of-business sale scheduled to begin Monday. "The U.S. government, America's place for law and order since 1776, has lost its lease, and everything must go, go, go," Biden said. "But our loss is your gain. Canada, of course will get first pickings and 25% off everything."

Why do straight guys joke about gay sex so much?

From Reddit r/bisexual

Q: I'm sure this has been brought up before, but I'm curious: do any other guys think it's so weird how often "straight" masculine men make jokes about cuddling, making out, giving each other blow jobs, anal sex, etc.? I mean, I totally used to do it, too, before I was aware of my wonderful and diverse sexuality, but now that I'm aware of and embracing of my bi-ness, it just seems so . . . out of place. How does everyone else feel about it / deal with it?

A: Depends on the guys.

For some, it's a form of trolling; the goal is to get your male friend to lose their cool without actually hurting them; if they are weird about their hot mom, then maybe it's all jokes about their hot mom. If they are weird about their long hair, it's long hair jokes forever and ever. If they are weird about sex or emotional intimacy with other men, then the jokes head in that direction.

I mean, it's unhealthy in its own way, since it encourages guys to never show how they really feel, but the goal isn't usually to hurt, I don't think.

A: I don't know, I think it does show a generally more relaxed attitude towards sexuality. I guess ideally you wouldn't have it so frequently as the butt of a joke but we're only human. Sex is just a weird and kind of inherently funny thing regardless of who's doing it.... the guys that make the most of these are either closeted and are doing it as preemptive cover. Or are the most severe homophobes.

Like there's something ridiculous about gay sex.

A: Guys like this usually joke about straight sex, boobs and dicks in general. I guess some might be homophobic, but I think it's more because sex (especially gay sex) is still taboo, and taboo is generally thought of as funny.

It doesn't mean they're secretly gay, just that they laugh at dirty jokes.

A: My ex-boyfriend (who is a straight guy, I am a bi girl) would often jokingly flirt with some of his straight guy friends to get laughs like "yo, I'm obviously straight, and I'm still getting all the guys."

A: Back before I was out to myself, I did this sort of thing with one of my friends fairly often (Not actually about sex, more about romancey stuff but still). I mostly did it because it made him squirm and I thought it was kind of funny, plus I kept telling him that if he would stop being so afraid of anything even remotely gay I would stop.

A: Most of the time it seems like it's genuinely based in friendly affection but men (in my culture) don't have access to an acceptable form of communicating that so it's better to communicate affection distastefully than to not communicate it at all. That's my take, anyway.

Usually I respond by throwing in an unsolicited "hot" which I'm not sure is tasteful, either, but it's throwing another taboo humor wrench at it?

Bi woman's perspective if that's relevant.

I usually toss out a "yes homo" in response to "no homo" as well

A: This is just my guess, but personally I think it has less to do with letting out their own homosexual tendencies and more to do with male intimacy. (Although, perhaps sometimes there's a blur on the issue!)

Growing up in our Western culture, men really don't show affection or communicate like women do. Women tend to be better listeners, have a more compassionate impulse, etc. Men have ingrained social norms being passed down generation to generation. Evolving over time, through the 20th century, through the Mad Men era and so on until today.

So, it's just perfectly normal for a woman to openly, vulnerably express how she feels about another friend (sometimes even in a public context!). For men, this is DEFINITELY not true for many cities/regions. I think we all want this sort of connection, trust, and intimacy. I know I felt this artificial gap growing up. And joking with friends was a "safe" way to say "I love you" or "I feel comfortable with you." It adds a layer of joking, so that if he gets it, he gets it and you both verify with one another and develop your own "secret code" to communicate in backchannels about your friendship.

Meanwhile, if not, it's just a stupid joke!

I think its the result of broken conceptions of "maleness" and modern men finding nooks and crannies in our cultural norms to express genuine friendship and trust. Maybe a stepping stone to more open, honest male-male norms like Brazil or parts of Europe.

A: I honestly really enjoy it. I think that it helps to normalise homosexuality for the most part, or at least get people talking about it. Sure some people go to far and are just bigoted, but some people also go to far the other way and just can't take a joke.

Making homoerotic jokes with my male friends helped me to realize that I was bisexual in the first place. When they still felt comfortable to make the same type of jokes with me and be the same people around me after I came out to them I felt really accepted and loved.

A: Honestly, I don't think it has much to do with being uncomfortable with their sexuality at all (though I'm sure that's the case for some people), nor for being purposefully offensive. I think it it's more about jokingly exaggerating the relationships they have with each other - such as acting as though having sex with each other is just something friends do. Guys like to joke about sex in general (both gay and straight), though usually to each other, as making direct comments like that to women may be misconstrued as harassment. IDK, that's just my perspective on it, as someone who used to do it and knows plenty of people who do it.

A: Honestly it likely has to do with being uncomfortable with some part of their sexuality that isn't 100% "straight."

I am a homosexual Gay, I am.

Just because I am gay does not mean that I am after every guy in the world, just the same as heterosexuals are not after every member of the opposite sex! Also gay people don't have any more sex than you do. We are just people!

I am a homosexual. Hath not a homosexual eyes? Hath not a homosexual hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions; fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, heal'd by the same means, warm'd and cool'd by the same winter and summer, as a heterosexual is?

If you prick us, do we not bleed?
If you tickle us, do we not laugh?
If you poison us, do we not die?
And if you wrong us, do we not revenge?
If we are like you in the rest, we will resemble you in that.

37 Great Reasons to Move to Canada

Canada has a well-deserved reputation for being one of the friendliest places on earth. Not only that but it’s also considered to be one of the safest places to live. If you’re looking for the benefits of moving or immigrating to Canada, you won’t have to look very far. 

Whilst most countries have shut their immigration programmes down due to the coronavirus pandemic, Canada has been quick to open migration opportunities in 2021. They are encouraging more skilled people to move to Canada to help bolster the economy. 

Family friendly and laid-back, Canada was ranked 9th overall on the 2020 HSBC Expat Explorer Survey (1st for cultural values), as one of the best countries to move to. In addition, three of Canada’s cities recently made the top ten of Economist’s Global Liveability Survey – Calgary was ranked 5th, Vancouver 6th and Toronto 7th. 

So why is Canada so popular? And do so many expats and migrants find it one of the most attractive countries in world in which to live and work? It’s long been a country for people who want to live in a place where clean air, good living standards and safe streets are a priority and that’s what you get when you go to Canada. 

A safe place to live, amongst people who have strong values and ambition. So if you’re thinking of emigrating to Canada from the UK read on and discover more of the reasons why people choose to move to this fascinating and forward-thinking country. 

From PSS Internationals

What is a "n00b" anyway?

Contrary to the belief of many, a noob/n00b and a newbie/newb are not the same thing. Newbs are those who are new to some task* and are very beginner at it, possibly a little overconfident about it, but they are willing to learn and fix their errors to move out of that stage. n00bs, on the other hand, know little and have no will to learn any more. They expect people to do the work for them and then expect to get praised about it, and make up a unique species of their own. It is the latter we will study in this guide so that the reader is prepared to encounter them in the wild if needed. 

More at Urban Dictionary

Math Tricks

Multiplying by 6

If you multiply 6 by an even number, the answer will end with the same digit. The number in the ten's place will be half of the number in the one's place.

Example: 6 x 4 = 24.

The Answer Is 2

1. Think of a number.

2. Multiply it by 3.

3. Add 6.

4. Divide this number by 3.

5. Subtract the number from Step 1 from the answer in Step 4.

The answer is 2.

Same Three-Digit Number

1. Think of any three-digit number in which each of the digits is the same. Examples include 333, 666, 777, and 999.

2. Add up the digits.

3. Divide the three-digit number by the answer in Step 2.

The answer is 37.

Six Digits Become Three

1. Take any three-digit number and write it twice to make a six-digit number. Examples include 371371 or 552552.

2. Divide the number by 7.

3. Divide it by 11.

4. Divide it by 13.

The order in which you do the division is unimportant!

The answer is the three-digit number.

Examples: 371371 gives you 371 or 552552 gives you 552.

A related trick is to take any three-digit number.

Multiply it by 7, 11, and 13.

The result will be a six-digit number that repeats the three-digit number.

Example: 456 becomes 456456.

The 11 Rule

This is a quick way to multiply two-digit numbers by 11 in your head.

1. Separate the two digits in your mind.

2. Add the two digits together.

3. Place the number from Step 2 between the two digits. If the number from Step 2 is greater than 9, put the one's digit in the space and carry the ten's digit.

Examples: 72 x 11 = 792.

57 x 11 = 5 _ 7, but 5 + 7 = 12, so put 2 in the space and add the 1 to the 5 to get 627

Happy 31st Birthday, Linux!

 

Hello everybody out there using minix-

I’m doing a (free) operating system (just a hobby, won’t be big and professional like gnu) for 386(486) AT clones. This has been brewing since april, and is starting to get ready. I’d like any feedback on things people like/dislike in minix; as my OS resembles it somewhat (same physical layout of the file-sytem due to practical reasons)  among other things.

Linus Torvalds (1991)

Although August 25 is generally considered Linux’s birthday as far as most folks are concerned (including the Linux Foundation, and they know a thing or two about Linux), the kernel may have as many as four birthdays, according to Linus himself — two more than Her Majesty the Queen!

Some prefer to mark the Linux kernel’s anniversary on the day that the first source code (of what would become Linux) appeared (September 17, 1991). Others consider the first mature 1.0 release to be the most applicable birthdate (March 14, 1994).

For what it’s worth, Linus himself doesn’t mind which date people choose to celebrate.

And as his hobby project turns 31, the guy must feel awed, proud, and maybe a little overwhelmed by the importance of his creation.

In 2022, Linux is at the heart of our digital world, from smartphones, routers, desktop PCs, servers, and beyond. The top 500 fastest supercomputers? They all run Linux. Linux even runs in space these days.

*OMG! Linux

Cliff Hanger!! How Awesome!

HOW AWESOME IS THIS?

The bar is set higher and higher for awesome African game shots that we are privileged to see!

Clinging on for dear life to the side of a vertical cliff, the tiny lion cub cries out pitifully for help. His mother arrives at the edge of the precipice with three other lionesses and a male. The females start to clamber down together but turn back daunted by the sheer drop.

Eventually one single factor determines which of them will risk her life to save the youngster..... – motherly love.

* * *

The drama begins: The mother arrives at the edge of the cliff as her son cries out for rescue after being trapped when he slipped...

On the brink: Four lionesses look over the edge before aborting their rescue mission because of the sheer drop...

Slowly, agonizingly, the big cat edges her way down towards her terrified son, using her powerful claws to grip the crumbling cliff side...

One slip from her and both animals could end up dead at the bottom of the ravine.

Just as the exhausted cub seems about to fall, his mother circles beneath him and he is snatched up in her jaws...

She then begins the equally perilous journey back to the top. Minutes later, they arrive and she gives the frightened creature a consoling lick on the head...

The dramatic rescue, captured by wildlife photographer Jean-Francois Largot, was played out in Kenya’s Masai Mara game reserve.

Despite the presence of wardens to deter poachers, day-to-day life for the lions is not without its dangers … as the cub learned the hard way.

Rescue mission: The mother inches her way down the cliff face to rescue the terrified cub before locking him in her jaws and making her way back up the cliff face.

Motherly love: The mother gives her son a lick to say that all is well in the pride following the drama.

HOW AWESOME IS THIS? Amazing!!

Cool Artist!

 You can obviously find something good in just about anything. Have a look.