Hearing Problems

A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy: "So I hear you're  getting married?" 

"Yep!"

"Do I know her?"

"Nope!"

"This woman, is she good looking?"

"Not really."

"Is she a good cook?"

"Naw, she can't cook too well."

"Does she have lots of money?"

"Nope! Poor as a church mouse."

"Well then, is she good in bed?"

"I don't know."

 

"Why in the world do you want to marry her then?"

"Because she can still drive!"

 

 

Keep Reading...

 

 

Three old guys are out walking. First one says, "Windy, isn't it?"

 

Second one says, "No, its Thursday!"

 

Third one says, "So am I. Let's go get a beer."

 

 

Keep Reading...

 

 

A man was telling his neighbour, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect." 

 

"Really," answered the neighbour. "What kind is it?"

 

"Twelve thirty ."

 

 

Keep Reading...

 

 

Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later the doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?"

Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'" 

 

The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur. Be careful.'"

 

 

Keep Reading...

A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his breath he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?"

"No," he replied, "Arthritis."