Comebacks from: "You're so gay!"

Boy 1: "Oh my god. You're so gay."
Boy 2: "Yes. But if you rub yourself on me then maybe I'll turn straight."

Boy 1: "Are you gay?"
Boy 2: "No, I'm just straight like a right angle."

Girl 1: "You're such a lesbian."
Girl 2: "Sneeze on me and maybe I'll catch the straights."

Boy 1: "You're so gay."
Boy 2: "Yeah. You'd better stand back. I'm feeling contagious today. If I sneeze, you might catch the gay."

Girl 1: "OMG! Lesbo!"
Girl 2: "OMG! Straighty!"

Boy 1: "Fag."
Boy 2: "No thanks. I don't smoke."

Boy 1: "You're a fag."
Boy 2 [after slight pause]: "Sorry, what was that? I wasn't listening. I was busy picturing you naked, and it was really good. I'm sure that you already knew that, though. Hell, half the school knows what you look like on your back with your legs up in the air."