What the New Job Lingo Really Means

JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY": We have no time to train you.
CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE": We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.
MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED": You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED": Some time each night and some time each weekend.
DUTIES WILL VARY": Anyone in the office can boss you around.
MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL": We have no quality control.
CAREER-MINDED": Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way).
APPLY IN PERSON": If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.
NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE": We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.
SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE": You'll need it to replace three people who just left.
PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST": You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS": You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS": Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.