NEVER call Saskatchewan Flat!

MAN OF THE HOUSE

The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled

'YOU CAN BE THE MAN OF YOUR HOUSE.'

He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, 'From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house, and my word is Law. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight; and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert. After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me, and we will have the kind of sex that I want. Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then, you will massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?

The wife replied, 'The funeral director would be my first guess.'

Rob Ford, former Toronto mayor, dead at 46

Rob Ford, the former Toronto mayor who polarized voters with his brash, uncompromising political style and became an international celebrity for his drug and alcohol use while in office, has died. He was 46.

Ford died this morning after battling cancer since 2014. His death was confirmed by his chief of staff Dan Jacobs, who issued the following statement:

"With heavy hearts and profound sadness, the Ford family announces the passing of their beloved son, brother, husband, and father, Councillor Rob Ford earlier today at the age of 46.

A dedicated man of the people, Councillor Ford spent his life serving the citizens of Toronto.

While opinions on Ford's legacy as mayor run the gamut, most in his home-town say he's left a mark there that won't soon be forgotten. (Chris Young/Canadian Press)

The family asks that you respect their privacy and join them in their grieving and their prayers.

The family will not be making any statements to the media or taking any questions. Information will follow at a later time regarding memorial services.

Over his decade and a half in municipal politics, Ford won a devoted following for being a straight talker who championed the average taxpayer."

He was equally defined by his apparent contradictions: a millionaire with a working-class attitude; a cost-cutting crusader who promoted subway expansion over less expensive transit solutions; and a man who while serving as mayor often seemed more interested in coaching high school football.

It was a testament to his common touch that even as Ford faced a growing number of controversies related to drug use, public drunkenness and racist and sexist comments, many voters in the so-called "Ford Nation" continued to stand by him.

He, in turn, remained committed to them.

"I have made mistakes and all I can do right now is apologize for those mistakes," Ford said at a news conference in June 2014, after a two-month stint in rehab.

"I love the work that I do and I'm going to keep doing it. I want to keep working for the people of this city."

--more at CBC.ca--

Elmer Fudd Reads Porn....

Click above to watch the video

Please let me know, by email, if the link doesn't work - by clicking on the picture of The Wizard of OZ at the top of my blog... Thanks!

So you think it’s cold there – how would you like to be here?

Now Quit COMPLAINING that you are Cold!!

Feng Shui

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

FOUR. When you say, 'I love you,' mean it.

FIVE. When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye.

SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.

EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.

TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.

THIRTEEN! When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?'

FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

FIFTEEN. Say 'bless you' when you hear someone sneeze.

SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.

EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

NINETEEN. When you realize you 've made a mist ake, take immediate steps to correct it.

TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.

Mad World

It’s a mad mad world that we’re living in
Gotta keep your heads up high, can’t be giving in
Don’t you let one day go by without praising the most High
‘Cause it’s the only way we ever will survive

It’s a mad mad world that we’re living in
(What’s wrong with us?)
Gotta keep your heads up high, can’t be giving in
Don’t you let one day go by without praising the most High
‘Cause it’s the only way we ever will survive

Rough life, nuff crime, youth them a do hard time
No guides, no sign, walking on a thin like
Sentenced, no trial, victim of a profile
No hope, more fight, wonder why we’re hostile

False prophet make profit, focused on them pocket
White collar false docket, door open, can’t lock it
Politics, polytricks, equal econometricks
(Where is the justice?)

Death toll rising, sex commercializing
Barely surviving, future jeopardizing
No compromising, hope paralyzing
Rules need revising, why is it surprising?

Got to heed the warning, see the storms are forming
Not the time for stalling, look around it’s so appauling

It's a mad mad world that we're living in
Gotta keep your heads up high, can't be giving in
Don't you let one day go by without praising the most High
'Cause it's the only way we ever will survive

It's a mad mad world that we're living in
(Mad, crazy you know)
Gotta keep your heads up high, can't be giving in
Don't you let one day go by without praising the most High
'Cause it's the only way we ever will survive

Nuclear warfare, satellites everywhere
Mothers on welfare, what about medicare?
Ethnic cleansing, freedom pending
Government spending, who are they defending?

Bankrolls on poles, anything to enroll
Spotlight's their goal, price paid their soul
Step back, retrack, notice where your life's at
(Where was it worth it?)



Got to heed the warning, see the storm that's forming
Not the time for stalling', look around it's so appauling'
Poor is the mentality that disregard humanity
Say no to this insanity, create a new reality

It's a mad mad world that we're living in
Gotta keep your heads up high, can't be giving in
Don't you let one day go by without praising the most High
'Cause it's the only way we ever will survive

It's a mad mad world that we're living in
Gotta keep your heads up high, can't be giving in
Don't you let one day go by without praising the most High
'Cause it's the only way we ever will survive

Rough life, nuff crime, youth them a do hard time
No guides, no sign, walking on a thin like
Sentenced, no trial, victim of a profile
No hope, more fight, wonder why we're hostile

False prophet make profit, focused on them pocket
White collar false docket, doors open can't lock it
Politics, polytricks, equal econometricks

Negative People

This is something to think about when negative people are doing their best to rain on your parade. So remember this story the next time someone who knows nothing, and cares less, tries to make your life miserable.

A woman was at her hair dresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:

Rome ? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?'

'We're taking Continental,' was the reply. 'We got a great rate!'

'Continental?' exclaimed the hairdresser. 'That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly , and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome ?'

'We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome 's Tiber River called Teste.'

'Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks it's gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump, the worst hotel in the city! The rooms are small, the service is surly, and they're overpriced.

So, whatcha' doing when you get there?'

'We're going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope.'

'That's rich ,' laughed the hairdresser. 'You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant.

Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it.'

A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome .

'It was wonderful,' explained the woman, 'not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot.

And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $ 5 million remodeling job, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!'

'Well,' muttered the hairdresser, 'that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope.'

'Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me.

Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me.'

'Oh, really! What 'd he say ?'

He said: 'Where'd you get the shitty Hairdo? '

Got a clue? Check to see...

The average person only gets 7 right so use all lobes of your brain. This can be more difficult than it looks - it just shows how little most of us really see!

There are 25 questions about things we see every day or have known about all our lives. How many can you get right? These little simple questions are harder than you think. It just shows how little we pay attention to the commonplace things of life.


RULES: Put your thinking caps on. No cheating! No looking around! No getting out of your chair! No using anything on or in your desk or computer!

Can you beat 13? (The average is 7) Write down your answers and check answers (on the bottom) AFTER completing all the questions .

REMEMBER - NO CHEATING!!! It doesn't matter if you cheat, actually, because if you have to cheat, then you don't know the answer, so, you've already missed the question. BE HONEST!That means no looking at your phone or anything on your desk...

LET'S JUST SEE HOW OBSERVANT YOU REALLY ARE. - If not, just have fun!

Here we go!

1. On a standard traffic light, is the green on the top or bottom?

2. How many states are there in the USA? (Don't laugh, some people don't know.)

3. In which hand is the Statue of Liberty's torch?

4. What six colors are on the classic Campbell's soup label?

5. What two numbers on the telephone dial don't have letters by them?

6. When you walk does your left arm swing with your right or left leg? (Don't you dare get up to see!)

7. How many matches are in a standard pack?

8. On the United States flag is the top stripe red or white?

9. What is the lowest number on the FM dial? (Don't look at that dial)!

10. Which way does water go down the drain, counter or clockwise? (Get out of the bathroom!)

11. Which way does a "no smoking" sign's slash run?

12. How many channels on a VHF TV dial?

13. On which side of a women's blouse are the buttons?

14. Which way do fans rotate?

15 How many sides does a stop sign have?

16. Do books have even-numbered pages on the right or left side?

17 How many lug nuts are on a standard car wheel?

18. How many sides are there on a standard pencil?

19. Sleepy, Happy, Sneezy, Grumpy, Dopey & Doc. Who's missing?

20. How many hot dog buns are in a standard package?

21. On which playing card is the card maker's trademark?

22. On which side of a Venetian blind is the cord that adjusts the opening between the slats?

23. There are 12 buttons on a touch tone phone. What 2 symbols bear no digits?

24. How many curves are there in the standard paper clip?

25. Does a merry-go-round turn counter or clockwise?

ANSWERS

1. Bottom

2. 50

3. Right

4. Blue, red, white, yellow, black &gold

5. 1, 0

6. Right

7. 20

8. Red

9. 87.7

10. Clockwise (north of the equator)

11. From lower right to upper left

12. 12 (there is no #1)

13. Left

14. Clockwise as you look at it from the front. (unless they have a reverse switch).

15. 8

16. Left

17. 5

18. 6

19. Bashful

20. 8

21. Ace of spades

22. Left

23. * and #

24. 3

25. Counter

Spring Equinox

We celebrate the Spring Equinox
We gather our coven with care
We’ll cast the sacred circle with rocks-
though the earth is no longer bare.
We dance on green grass-
We praise the sky blue…
We thank the God and Godess for what each has,
and dance in the morning dew.

We see the Mother’s soft tints
laid lightly on the earth,
though these are but little hints
of the wonders of rebirth.

We finish our Spring-time rites
and close the circle down,
knowing we have reached new heights
our love and joy abound.

I’ll honour the Goddess in my heart,
and always remember when-
merry we’d meet, merry we’d part,
and merry we’d meet again!

*By Ivy

We did not invent colours...

C O L O U R

WE DID NOT INVENT COLOURS - GOD DID - SEE THESE BIRDS

Kindness is in our power even when fondness is not.
~Henry James~

Compassion is language the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
~Mark Twain~

Carry a heart that never hates, a smile that never fades and a touch that never hurts.

Today I bent the truth to be kind, and I have no regret,
for I am far surer of what is kind than I am of what is true.
~Robert Brault~

Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you,
not because they are nice but because you are.

Never look down on anyone unless you are helping them up.

A good character is the best tombstone.
Those who loved you will remember.
Carve your name on hearts, not on marble.

It's nice to be important but it's more important to be nice.

Today, give a stranger one of your smiles.
It might be the only sunshine he sees all day.

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion!

I always prefer to believe the best of everybody, it saves so much trouble.
~Rudyard Kipling~

Don't be yourself — be someone nicer.

Never miss an opportunity to make others happy,
even if you have to leave them alone in order to do it.

Love your enemies - it will confuse them greatly.

There is one word which may serve as a rule for all one's life — reciprocity.
~Confucius~

Grownups know that little things matter, and that relationships are based on respect.

Don't wait for people to be friendly, show them how.
~Henry James~

The most important trip you may take in life is meeting people halfway.
~Henry Boyle~

When I was young, I admired clever people. Now that I am old, I admire kind people.
~Abraham Heschel~

If we should deal out justice only in this world, who would escape?
No, it is better to be generous for it gains us gratitude.
~Mark Twain~

Be tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, tolerant of the weak,
because someday in your life you will be all of these.
~George Washington Carver~

You can't live a perfect day without doing something for someone
who will never be able to repay you.
~John Wooden~

If those who owe us nothing gave us nothing, how poor we would be.
~Antonio Porchia~

You cannot do a kindness too soon for you never know how soon it will be too late.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson~

By swallowing evil words unsaid, no one has ever harmed his stomach.
~Winston Churchill

Real generosity is doing something nice for someone who will never find out.
~Frank A. Clark~

We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.
~Epictetus~

Don’t let those who take advantage of your generosity stop you from being generous.
~Author Unknown ~

Be a rainbow in someone else’s cloud.
~Maya Angelou~

In a world full of people who couldn't care less, be someone who cares more.
~Author Unknown ~

Love thy neighbour and if requires that you bend the truth, the truth will understand.
~Robert Brault

Have Bucket List, Will Travel...

SIMIEN GENIPABU
NATAL, RIO GRANDE DO NORTE, BRAZIL

Brazil's Rio Grande do Norte is the gateway to Genipabu, where enormous white-sand dunes meet the Atlantic. To explore the dunes, hire a professional bugueiro (buggy driver) who can whisk you off for a roller-coaster tour of the hair-raisingly steep dunes, which can top 300 feet.

-Ostara- May the blessings of Eostre be upon you this special day!

It's time for Ostara, the spring equinox, which falls on March 20 for my readers in the northern hemisphere. This is a season of balance, of equal hours of darkness and light, and a time when we can rejoice in knowing that new life is returning to the earth. May it be filled with blessings and magic!

Eostre, the Goddess of Dawn and Spring
Ostara is a modern Neopagan holiday. It is loosely based on several holidays which were celebrated around the spring equinox (when day and night are nearly of equal length). The modern holiday does not have a strong relation to any known historical Pagan religious observation. A historically correct reconstruction is impossible.

Etymology
The name Ostara goes back to Jacob Grimm, who, in his Deutsche Mythologie, speculated about an ancient German goddess Ostara, after whom the Easter festival (German: Ostern) could have been named. Grimm's main source is De temporum ratione by the Venerable Bede. Bede had put forward the thesis that the Anglo-Saxon name for the month of April, Eostur-monath, was named after a goddess Eostre.

Wiccan festival
Ostara is one of the four lesser Wiccan holidays or sabbats of the Wheel of the Year. Ostara is celebrated on the spring equinox, in the Northern hemisphere around March 21 and in the Southern hemisphere around September 23, depending upon the specific timing of the equinox. Among the Wiccan sabbats, it is preceded by Imbolc and followed by Beltane.

In the book Eight Sabbats for Witches by Janet and Stewart Farrar, the festival Ostara is characterized by the rejoining of the Mother Goddess and her lover-consort-son, who spent the winter months in death. Other variations include the young God regaining strength in his youth after being born at Yule, and the Goddess returning to her Maiden aspect.

Ostara is the virgin Goddess of spring. This holiday concerns the deity's trip to the underworld, and their struggle to return from the Land of the Dead to Earth. When they accomplish this return, they have a life renewed. It was considered bad luck to wear anything new before Ostara, so the people would work through the winter in secret to make elegant clothes for the Sabbat celebration. The entire community would gather for games, feasting, and religious rituals while showing off their clothing.

The lamb was another symbol of Ostara, and was sacred to the Virgin Goddess of Europe, the Middle East, and North Africa.

The modern belief that eggs are delivered by a rabbit known as the Easter Bunny comes from the legend of the Goddess Eostre. So much did a lowly rabbit want to please the Goddess that he laid the sacred eggs in her honor, gaily decorated them, and humbly presented them to her. So pleased was she that she wished all humankind to share in her joy. In honor of her wishes, the rabbit went through the entire world and distributed these little decorated gifts of life.

References
^ Grimm, Jacob (1835). Deutsche Mythologie (German Mythology); From English released version Grimm's Teutonic Mythology (1888); Available online by Northvegr © 2004-2007, Chapter 13, page 10+

*Wikipedia

Blessed Be!

"AnkhIwiEmHotep"
Life and Peace be with You --Cinosam