Dear Love Doctor,
I'm a 15 year old gay person. For about 5 years I've had a crush on this
guy. About 3 years ago, we started playing this "game" which was
basically sex, but with less commitment. Just today I told him I was gay
and admitted my feelings for him and yet he still tells me he is
straight.
I feel as if I've falling in love with him, a deep love, but he doesn't
seem to see that he may be gay too. When I ask him about all the times
we played the "game", he tells me it was just sex and nothing more. I've
run out of ideas, and I want him soooooooo bad. I don't think I can
live without him. I need help, please.
Signed,
Confused lover
Dear Dazed and Confused,
It may seem obvious that your sleepover buddy is gay since he's fooling
around with another guy (uh, you), but sexuality is not quite that
simple. Experimentation is a very normal and healthy part of our
development. Playing the game, as you call it, in some form or another,
helps us develop sexually. Often times, though, our true sexual feelings
don't become clear until much later in life. Even though you've
embraced your identity, your friend may either
a) not be ready to embrace his or
b) may not by gay at all, but bi or simply curious (see Kinsey Scale).
You say you can't live without him... Then live with him! Meaning:
You've already captured his attention, so live in the now and let things
develop. If you kick up the pressure, you might drive him away. Play it
cool and stay in the "game." Eventually, you both might end up with a
win-win situation. If not, be patient. There will be plenty of games to
play in the future.
The Love Doctor
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