by Stephen Mays, The Red & Black
After watching the College Humor video “Gay Men Will Marry Your Girlfriends” for the umpteenth time, I find myself drawn back to a single thought I’ve been plagued with for quite a while now — why do the straight men of UGA seem to have few, if any, gay friends?
To begin, I’m going to throw the simplest answer to that question out the window. They won’t hit on you. Not all gay men are attracted to all straight men. It’s bogus. Straight guys don’t think every girl is attractive just like we don’t think every straight guy is attractive. Your vanity is cute, but it gets old.
Now, for the nit and grit as to why straight men should be more open to having a gay friend or three — we’re the best wingmen you’ll ever have. You think your pledge brother Drunks McGee is going to help you get in with the ladies better than we can? Nice joke.
The only thing a girl loves more than her gay best friend is a closeout sale, and even then she takes us with her. We’ve amassed an extensive network of women who value us as much as we value them. It’s a respect thing. They know they can trust our opinions, as blunt as they may be sometimes.
When you start hitting on them at a bar, trying to take them out on a date or whatever odd courting rituals you follow, whom do they talk to? Us. We scrutinize every aspect of your bio before passing you. When you piss them off, blow them off or outright incur the wrath of a woman scorned, who hears all about it? We do. We console them and promise that not all guys are jerks.
So my question is — why aren’t you taking advantage of the deep connections we already have? Why aren’t you getting us on your side? Pride? Ego? Either answer, I can assure you that your game is not as stellar as you think.
Just like our girlfriends always ask us about their outfits before heading out for the night, guys, you could benefit from the same glaringly honest evaluation. Those high-top socks really aren’t that flattering, no matter how ripped your calves are.
Women really are crazy about a sharp-dressed man.
Along with the extensive contacts we have in the female population and the obviously helpful critiques to your fashion choices, most of us are in pretty decent shape. We’re guys at the heart of it, surprise surprise, and we have interests other than dressing well and tanning.
We like some sports too — hard as that is to believe — especially SEC football. I don’t know about you, but I’ll happily give up on a J. Crew factory sale to spend my Saturday drinking beer at a UGA tailgate.
Having us by your side when meeting a girl, whether we introduce you to her or meet her at the same time, is a big, figurative check mark over your head. When she sees us with you, she starts to think, “Hey, this guys is pretty open-minded, secure in himself … heck he might even be a little down to earth.”
Like anything, you can’t listen to every stereotype. Just like not all straight guys are bro-tastic frat-stars, not all gays spend their free time painting themselves with glitter in Atlanta clubs — not that either is bad. But, too much of an extreme in any case isn’t necessarily good, either. Despite claiming to be polar opposites, they begin to look frighteningly similar. The biggest difference between the clique-y frat boys and the clique-y gay boys is that one group pairs Ralph Lauren with any brand of outdoor gear while the other keeps Cole Haan and J. Crew on the recently-shopped list.
We’re not all that different. Now, who would you rather have on your side next time you hit on one of our girls? Either way, our commentary will definitely be in her ear.
—Stephen Mays is a senior from Hawkinsville majoring in publication management and English
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| Wingmen - (From left to right): GA(Y) Bar organizers Joshua Trey Barnett, Benjamin Hudson and Daniel Griffin enjoy drinks, fun and conversation during Athens' new gay night at Georgia Bar. Photo by AJ REYNOLDS |
To begin, I’m going to throw the simplest answer to that question out the window. They won’t hit on you. Not all gay men are attracted to all straight men. It’s bogus. Straight guys don’t think every girl is attractive just like we don’t think every straight guy is attractive. Your vanity is cute, but it gets old.
Now, for the nit and grit as to why straight men should be more open to having a gay friend or three — we’re the best wingmen you’ll ever have. You think your pledge brother Drunks McGee is going to help you get in with the ladies better than we can? Nice joke.
The only thing a girl loves more than her gay best friend is a closeout sale, and even then she takes us with her. We’ve amassed an extensive network of women who value us as much as we value them. It’s a respect thing. They know they can trust our opinions, as blunt as they may be sometimes.
When you start hitting on them at a bar, trying to take them out on a date or whatever odd courting rituals you follow, whom do they talk to? Us. We scrutinize every aspect of your bio before passing you. When you piss them off, blow them off or outright incur the wrath of a woman scorned, who hears all about it? We do. We console them and promise that not all guys are jerks.
So my question is — why aren’t you taking advantage of the deep connections we already have? Why aren’t you getting us on your side? Pride? Ego? Either answer, I can assure you that your game is not as stellar as you think.
Just like our girlfriends always ask us about their outfits before heading out for the night, guys, you could benefit from the same glaringly honest evaluation. Those high-top socks really aren’t that flattering, no matter how ripped your calves are.
Women really are crazy about a sharp-dressed man.
Along with the extensive contacts we have in the female population and the obviously helpful critiques to your fashion choices, most of us are in pretty decent shape. We’re guys at the heart of it, surprise surprise, and we have interests other than dressing well and tanning.
We like some sports too — hard as that is to believe — especially SEC football. I don’t know about you, but I’ll happily give up on a J. Crew factory sale to spend my Saturday drinking beer at a UGA tailgate.
Having us by your side when meeting a girl, whether we introduce you to her or meet her at the same time, is a big, figurative check mark over your head. When she sees us with you, she starts to think, “Hey, this guys is pretty open-minded, secure in himself … heck he might even be a little down to earth.”
Like anything, you can’t listen to every stereotype. Just like not all straight guys are bro-tastic frat-stars, not all gays spend their free time painting themselves with glitter in Atlanta clubs — not that either is bad. But, too much of an extreme in any case isn’t necessarily good, either. Despite claiming to be polar opposites, they begin to look frighteningly similar. The biggest difference between the clique-y frat boys and the clique-y gay boys is that one group pairs Ralph Lauren with any brand of outdoor gear while the other keeps Cole Haan and J. Crew on the recently-shopped list.
We’re not all that different. Now, who would you rather have on your side next time you hit on one of our girls? Either way, our commentary will definitely be in her ear.
—Stephen Mays is a senior from Hawkinsville majoring in publication management and English
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