Max: Doc, I just can’t seem to lose any weight.
Doctor: I recommend that you walk every day.
Max: But I already do! Every day I walk past the gym.
Chief Thundercloud: Son, our ancestors used to do a rain dance when there were serious droughts. Sometimes it would take days before the skies opened up. Fortunately, today I can make the rain pour down in an instant!
Little Beaver: Gee, Pop, what do you do nowadays to make it rain so quickly?
Chief Thundercloud: I take out my golf clubs.
Where do cars get the most flat tires?
Where there’s a fork in the road.
A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the girl’s grandfather, a famous attorney. As they made their way through the cemetery, the little girl asked, “Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?”
“Of course not, dear,” replied the mother. “Why would you think that?”
“Because Grandpa’s tombstone said, ‘Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.’”
Joe: Your loudmouth sister talks too much.
Moe: How much does she talk?
Moe: She talks so much, she gives woodpeckers a headache.
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