Wedding

Well the Wizard and his partner went to a same-sex wedding tonight (That makes three, but who's counting....). It was a small private ceremony by a marriage commissioner, in the couple's home. What made it extra special, was that it followed the Integrity* Meeting at St. John's Anglican Cathedral.

Since the previous chaplain, Reverend Shawn Sanford-Beck had his ministerial credentials ripped from him by the Bishop, Rt. Rev. Rodney Andrews... we had a new reverend, Joe Ponic handle the usual canonical duties. Reverend Shawn was there, to continue to support the group, even though he has had his duties removed (He is kind of in exile...).

In any case, after the Integrity meeting, instead of the usual coffee at the Park Tower Hotel, we went to the prospective couple's home to have the wedding. The wedding was officiated by Commissioner Ward Kewley. Then after the legal part was over, Reverend Shawn did a blessing of the union, of the newly married couple. It was very nice. Also in attendance, was Reverend Ponic, who observed the legal part as well as the blessing.

There were also straight people at the wedding. It was a very nice and a solemn occasion. One of Shawn's quotes was "We are all children of God, and God loves us" or something to that effect. Tears did indeed come to my eyes a couple of times during the ceremony.

Got me thinking -- why am I not pursuing marriage? Shawn said that he would solemnize it with a blessing as he did this other couple. So why not me? It's a little complicated. You see I have a young son, and he doesn't know about me being gay. That hurts a lot. I want my son to know me as I am, including my sexual orientation, I will always be his dad, but I feel like I am lying to him, by not telling him that I have a partner (5 years August 11)... He deserves to know who his dad is. I don't think my ex-wife appreciates the fact that I am struggling with this. I feel that my son is old enough to be told about his pop.

I have been thinking of marriage for some time now, especially now that it is legal and all. I want my son to be included as I have seen in another same-sex marriage.. but I think what most likely will happen is that my partner and I will have a quiet ceremony among friends. I just keep thinking that my boy will ask one day, "Dad, why didn't you invite me to your wedding?" ... and on that day, I know I will cry.

*Integrity - a national network of Integrity chapters, members, and friends working toward the full inclusion of gay and lesbian people in the life and ministry of the Anglican Church of Canada. Learn more about us here.

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