Cliff Notes

"Everyone is the Swiss Army owns a Swiss Army Knife. That's why no one messes with Switzerland." 

"It's a little known fact that cows were domesticated in Mesopotamia and were also used in China as guard animals for the forbidden city." 

"It's a little known fact that smartest animal is a pig. Scientists say if pigs had thumbs and a language, they could be trained to do simple manual labor. They give you 20-30 years of loyal service and then at their retirement dinner you can eat them." 

"I wonder if you know that the harp is a predecessor of the modern day guitar. Early minstrels were much larger people. In fact, they had hands the size of small dogs." 

"If memory serves, the umbilical chord is 90% postassium." "It's a little known fact that the tan became popular in what is known as the Bronze Age." 

"If you were to go back in history and take every president, you'll find that the numerical value of each letter in their name was equally divisible into the year in which they were elected. By my calculations, our next president has to be named Yellnick McWawa." 

"There's no rule against postal workers not dating women. It just works out that way." 

"They did a study between postal workers and chimpanzees. They proved chimps were 32% slower. Of course, they were better with public relations."