A & Qs: Riddle me this!

 

A:    Doc, Happy, Bashful, Dopey, Sneezy, Sleepy, & Grumpy
Q:    Who were the Democratic presidential candidates?

A:    The Royal Canadian Mounted Police.
Q:    What was the greatest achievement in taxidermy?

A:    To be or not to be.
Q:    What is the square root of 4b^2?

A:    Dr. Livingston I. Presume.
Q:    What's Dr. Presume's full name?

A:    Chicken Teriyaki.
Q:    What is the name of the world's oldest kamikaze pilot?

A:    Go west, young man, go west!
Q:    What do wabbits do when they get tiwed of wunning awound?

A:    The Halls of Montezuma and the Shores of Tripoli.
Q:    Name two families whose kids won't join the Marines.

Knock, knock!
    Who's there?
Sam and Janet.
    Sam and Janet who?
Sam and Janet Evening...

Knucklehead:    "Knock, knock"
Pee Wee:    "Who's there?"
Knucklehead:    "Little ol' lady."
Pee Wee:    "Liddle ol' lady who?"
Knucklehead:    "I didn't know you could yodel"

Q:    "What is the burning question on the mind of every dyslexic existentialist?"
A:    "Is there a dog?"

Q:    Are we not men?
A:    We are Vaxen.

Q:    Do you know what the death rate around here is?
A:    One per person.

Q:    How can you tell when a Burroughs salesman is lying?
A:    When his lips move.

Q:    How did you get into artificial intelligence?
A:    Seemed logical -- I didn't have any real intelligence.

Q:    How do you catch a unique rabbit?
A:    Unique up on it!

Q:    How do you catch a tame rabbit?
A:    The tame way!

Q:    How do you keep a moron in suspense?

Q:    How do you play religious roulette?
A:    You stand around in a circle and blaspheme and see who gets struck by lightning first.

Q:    How do you save a drowning lawyer?
A:    Throw him a rock.

Q:    How do you shoot a blue elephant?
A:    With a blue-elephant gun.

Q:    How do you shoot a pink elephant?
A:    Twist its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue-elephant gun.

Q:    How do you stop an elephant from charging?
A:    Take away his credit cards.

Q:    How does a hacker fix a function which doesn't work for all of the elements in its domain?
A:    He changes the domain.

Q:    How does the Polish Constitution differ from the American?
A:    Under the Polish Constitution citizens are guaranteed freedom of speech, but under the United States constitution they are guaranteed freedom after speech.
        -- being told in Poland, 1987
 

Source: Some or all of the content was generated using an AI language model