Five Clean Limericks

 Here are five clean limericks for you:

    There once was a man from Peru
    Whose limericks stopped at line two.
    When asked why this was,
    He replied, "Just because,
    The third and the fourth just won't do!"

    There was a young girl from Kent
    Whose nose was exceedingly bent.
    She walked through a door,
    And hit it once more,
    And that's how her nose got cement.

    A fellow who lived in St. Paul
    Had a pet that he loved most of all.
    It wasn't a cat
    Or a cute little rat,
    But a beautiful, bright yellow ball.

    There once was a man from Dundee
    Who tried to catch fish with his knee.
    He sat by the shore
    And said, "Please, fish, more!"
    But they swam away quickly, you see.

    There once was a man from Bombay
    Who tried to eat hay every day.
    His friends all asked why,
    And he replied with a sigh,
    "I'm just trying to live in a new way."

And now 5 others:

There was a young woman named Bright,
Whose speed was much faster than light.
She set out one day,
In a relative way,
And returned on the previous night.

There was an odd fellow named Gus,
When travelling he made such a fuss.
He was banned from the train,
Not allowed on a plane,
And now travels only by bus.

There once was a man from Tibet,
Who couldn't find a cigarette
So he smoked all his socks,
and got chicken-pox,
and had to go to the vet.

I'd rather have Fingers than Toes,
I'd rather have Ears than a Nose.
And as for my Hair,
I'm glad it's all there,
I'll be awfully sad, when it goes.

There was a Young Lady whose chin
Resembled the point of a pin:
So she had it made sharp,
And purchased a harp,
And played several tunes with her chin.