The Nun

A Russian soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, “Please, may I hide under your skirt, I'll explain later.” 

The nun agreed. A moment later two military police ran up and asked: “Sister, have you seen a soldier?” 

The nun replied, “He went that way.” After the military police ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, “I can't thank you enough, Sister. You see, I don't want to go to Ukraine.” 

The nun said, “I understand completely.” The soldier added, “I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!” 

The nun replied, “If you had looked a little higher, you would've seen a great pair of balls too. I don't want to go to Ukraine either."