1972-2022 (Time check)

1972: Long hair
2022: Longing for hair


1972: KEG
2022: EKG


1972: Acid rock
2022: Acid reflux


1972: Moving to California because it's cool
2022: Moving to Arizona because it's warm

1972: Tryin to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
2022: Trying NOT to look like MarlonBrando or Liz Taylor


1972: Seeds and stems
2022: Roughage


1972: Hoping for a BMW
2022: Hoping for a BM


1972: Going to a new, hip joint
2022: Receiving a new hip joint


1972: Rolling Stones
2022: Kidney Stones


1972: Being called into the principal's office
2022: Calling the principal's office


1972: Screw the system
2022: Upgrade the system


1972: Disco
2022: Costco


1972: Parents begging you to get your hair cut
2022: Children begging you to get their heads shaved


1972: Passing the drivers' test
2022: Passing the vision test


1972: Whatever
2022: Depends


Just in case you weren't feeling too old today, this will certainly change things.

The people who are starting college this fall across the nation were born in 2004.

They are too young to remember the first space shuttle blowing up on liftoff.

Their lifetime has always included AIDS.

Bottle caps have always been screw off and plastic.

The CD was introduced in 1972.

They have always had an answering machine.

They have always had cable.

They cannot fathom not having a remote control.

Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave.

They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.

They can't imagine what hard contact lenses are.

They don't know who Mork was or where he was from.

They never heard: "Where's the Beef?", "I'd walk a mile for a Camel", or "de plane, Boss, de plane".

They do not care who shot J. R. and have no idea who J. R. even is.

McDonald's never came in Styrofoam containers.

They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter.


Do you feel old yet? Pass this post on to the other old fogies on your list.